Chapter Text
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]!
TG: you done fucked up man
CG: YOU THINK I DON’T FUCKING REALIZE THAT ALREADY, STRIDER??
CG: I DO, IN FACT, HAVE FULLY FUNCTIONING OCULAR GLOBES. I AM INTIMATELY FAMILIAR WITH THE EXACT DEGREE TO WHICH I HAVE MANAGED TO COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY SCREW OVER EVERYTHING.
CG: NOT JUST ANY CHANCE OF EVER OCCUPYING JOHN’S MOST LIKELY NON EXISTENT BLACK QUADRANT, EITHER. THIS HIDEOUS HUMAN DISEASE KNOWN AS “FRIENDSHIP” THAT THAT MATERIAL GUZZLING SHITLICK HAS INJECTED DIRECTLY INTO MY VASCULAR PUMP HAS PROBABLY BEEN UTTERLY ERADICATED AS WELL. I MIGHT AS WELL DRAG MY ASS UP TO THE ROOF OF THE HIGHEST BUILDING ON THIS BLEAK FUCKING ROCK FORMATION AND THROW MY WORTHLESS CARCASS OFF THE EDGE. OR MAYBE IT WOULD BE BETTER TO LAUNCH MYSELF INTO THE BLACK EMPTINESS OF SPACE. I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT GAMZEE WOULD DO IF HE FOUND MY CORPSE.
TG: dude
TG: youre being a little overdramatic here
CG: OVERDRAMATIC? YOU THINK I’M BEING OVERDRAMATIC? I COULD SHOW YOU OVERDRAMATIC.
TG: no
TG: karakt
TG: just chill a minute take a couple deep breaths or something
TG: this is john were talking about here theres no way he would be as mad as you think he is
TG: i mean he kind of just seemed pretty freak out which i mean kind of makes sense??
TG: like you just declared your undying hatred or whatever for him you gotta give a guy a some time to adjust to that
TG: and besides hatred is kind of the exact opposite of what you should be feeling in a healthy human relationship i think so its kind of really weird to us???
CG: IT’S NOT LIKE I MEANT TO JUST… DROP ALL OF MY DISGUSTING EMOTIONAL GARBAGE AT HIS FEET LIKE A PARTICULARLY INDOLENT REFUSE WORKER. I DIDN’T ACTUALLY THINK THAT MARKING HIM WAS GOING TO BE THAT BIG OF A DEAL, BUT LIKE USUAL, HA HA, NOTHING CAN EVER GO AS PLANNED FOR KARKAT VANTAS, FUCK UP EXTRAORDINAIRE!
CG: I DIDNT MARK HIM PERMANENTLY, IT BARELY EVEN REALLY COUNTED I THOUGHT, I JUST FIGURED IT WOULD BE ENOUGH TO MAKE THAT PRODIGIOUSLY HORNED DUMBLEFUCK TAKE A HINT AND BACK OFF. HIS BUMBLING AROUND WAS, FRANKLY, GETTING EMBARRASSING, AND ALL HE WAS DOING WAS FREAKING EGBERT OUT.
TG: and also you wanted the choice egbert booty all to yourself
CG: IT WASN’T LIKE THAT!
TG: yes it was
CG: NO.
TG: yes
CG: NO.
TG: yes
CG: NO AND ALSO FUCK YOU, YOU CAN TAKE THAT IDEA AND SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR WASTECHUTE RIGHT ALONGSIDE YOUR INSUFFERABLE FUCKING EGO.
TG: denial is more than just a river in egypt bro
CG: WHAT KIND OF USELESS DRIVEL ARE YOU SPEWING NOW, STRIDER? YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVER MIND, I PROBABLY DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW.
CG: IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER, BECAUSE I FUCKED UP SO TREMENDOUSLY THAT IF EGBERT EVER COMES BACK OUT OF HIS BLOCK OR WHEREVER HE BREEZED OFF TOO, THE CHANCES OF HIM EVEN LOOKING ME IN THE OCULAR GLOBES WILL BE ABOUT AS GREAT AS THE CHANCES OF YOU DEVELOPING A SHRED OF DECENCY.
CG: FUCK. I NEED TO GO TALK TO SOLLUX.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]!