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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: R., who is not the Duchess of Winnipeg, resides in a small apartment in the duchy of Winnipeg, in a musty third bedroom that smells like cats, where she chiefly occupies her time gazing sourly out of windows, using lint rollers, and not being the Duchess of Winnipeg. She has submitted this manuscript on behalf of Lemony Snicket, whose whereabouts are unknown. She sends her thanks and love to P., who with any luck was not in attendance at a certain scholarly dissertation, and who resides in the fourth bedroom, which smells like a bedroom.
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