Chapter Text
Daeron spent the rest of the morning dozing on and off. He hadn’t quite yet figured out what had happened in the time between Aerion’s dorm and waking up, but knew it would be explained to him later.
When he finally had enough energy to be awake for more than 5 minutes at a time, towards the early afternoon, his father stroked his hand before telling him he would be stepping out for a bit to let other people come in. Daeron wanted to tell him to go home and rest, but knew that his father wouldn’t listen. Maekar Targaryen was nothing if not stubborn.
As his father stepped out, two very familiar and very welcome faces greeted him.
“Aerion! Valarr!” Daeron was happy to see them despite his initial confusion that they were able to tolerate a car ride here together without murder.
He smiled at them before once again, he was faced with the sight of crying men. Giving each of them a long hug in turn, they finally separated and sat on opposite sides of him.
“I-” Before he could finish his sentence, Aerion’s harsh voice interrupted him.
“Don’t ever do that again you idiot! Next time you want to be melodramatic and walk in the rain, take an umbrella!”
Daeron’s mouth opened incredulously, wanting to remind him that it wasn’t his fault it started raining, but before he could, Valarr stepped in.
“As much as it pains me to say it, Aerion is right. Please Daeron….please be more cautious.”
Daeron whipped his head back and forth between the two of them. “Wait…what did I miss? Why are you both on the same page as each other for the first time in your lives? Are you guys possessed?” Both men looked extremely uncomfortable at being called out, but Valarr begrudgingly replied.
“We….realized that there is one issue that we see eye to eye on. Mostly.”
“You’re a dumbass and if we need to work together to keep you alive then that is a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Until you get better.” Aerion’s reply was more blunt, as usual.
Daeron shook his head in awe. He was glad they were beginning to get along though, they were more similar than they liked to acknowledge. The three boys lapsed into silence, unsure of how next to proceed with everything that had happened recently.
A doctor knocked on the door, asking if she could interrupt. Aerion and Valarr stood up to give her better access to Daeron. She thanked them before going through a quick examination of his chest, the coolness of her stethoscope making him shiver as she took her time listening to everything happening inside his lungs. She then checked his arms and legs, making sure there was no swelling and that the IV lines were in place properly before smiling at him.
“Everything looks good! Your chest is a lot better now so we’re going to clamp your second chest tube, which means that if by tomorrow you’re still feeling okay, we can remove it and you can finally be moved downstairs to a much larger room than this dreary place!”
Daeron sighed in relief. He had only been awake for a few hours but the small ICU room and intense monitoring made him feel like he was close to death. Like they were all waiting for him to crash and burn.
They thanked her before settling back in their previous positions.
Daeron had many things to ask and discuss with his brother and cousin, but he seemed to have reach his limit as he stifled a yawn behind his hand. He rolled his eyes as he watched Aerion and Valarr glance at each other, communicating silently before the both stood up in tandem.
“We’ll see you tomorrow Daer. Hopefully in a nicer room.” Valarr smiled softly, clapping his shoulder before walking out. Aerion sighed before saying:
“Look. Everyone is trying to be nice and not upset you, but I don't care about that. You really freaked us all out okay. Don’t ever do that again.” Aerion’s voice was uncharacteristically serious, giving Daeron a small insight as to how hard it must've been for him.
Before Daeron could respond, Aerion hugged him quickly and ran out of the room.
Daeron felt all his energy vanish, just having enough left to smile at his father as he walked in the room again, before feeling himself being pulled to the darkness of sleep once more.
The next day, Daeron was being happily pushed down to the regular room, his father walking alongside him looking a lot more refreshed. His second chest tube was removed an hour ago, and despite the lingering pain, Daeron was glad. This was a step towards recovery and didn’t like the idea of being a burden to his father and causing him so much pain.
Once again, someone must have pulled some strings as Daeron was pushed into a large private room. This one was even bigger than the last room and had not only a couch near the window with a few chairs, but also a small dining table. Daeron felt like this was the work of his grandfather, but didn’t know how to ask.
The nurses bustled about, lifting him onto the larger bed and reattaching all the monitors. The main nurse of the new unit, Nurse Johnson, smiled. He looked not much older than Daeron did.
“Alright Daeron. We’re glad you’re back from the ICU. Just a couple of things. The doctors requested some physical therapy, so myself and the PT specialists will come and help you get used to moving about. Until then if you need the bathroom or want to walk to the couch, please press the call button or ask anyone to help you. We’ll show you some exercises to strengthen your chest as well. Hopefully you’ll be back to fully functional soon enough!”
After they settled him on the new bed, Daeron was left alone with his father while they waited for Dr Anita to come by.
“Father, I asked the nurses so I know I was unconscious for around a week, but I just wanted to ask. How are my siblings? Are they doing okay?” Daeron had been meaning to ask since he woke up, he hoped that the younger ones were not able to visit him while he was not awake, he didn’t want to scare them.
His father shook his head. “No, children younger than 16 are not allowed in the ICU.”
Daeron breathed a sigh of relief. He wanted to ask about more things, more uncomfortable things, but did not want to upset his father. He decided he would ask Valarr to come visit him alone, and see what information he could get out of him.
“Here’s your phone Daeron. You left it in your room.” Daeron grimaced, knowing what he would likely find in there.
As he opened the device, it immediately became flooded with alerts of messages and missed calls. He ignored the ones from his family, he would see them later knowing that they were all well, instead he opened the chat with Duncan.
To no one's surprise, Duncan seemed to slowly progress into worry as the hours had gone by without Daeron replying to him. Daeron hoped he didn’t trigger an anxiety attack in his friend. The messages abruptly stopped for a while, and then resumed with well-wishes and the knowledge that Valarr had explained to Kiera about his condition. The rest of the text thread was filled with at least two or three texts a day of Duncan saying that he hopes he gets well soon, and that he is proud of him and loves him no matter what. Daeron smiled softly, knowing he would have to make it up to him soon.
He sent him and Kiera, whose messages generally followed the same trend but with much less frequency, an update that he was well and hoped they could come by the hospital to see him this week if they had time.
A knock on the door made him look up. Dr Anita entered the room with a smile on her face.
“Good morning gentlemen. Daeron, I’m pleased to see you awake and better.”
“Thanks Doctor, I feel good.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Now, there are a few things we need to discuss since you’re feeling better. First of all, I am sure this experience has highlighted to both you and your family the importance of staying healthy while on chemotherapy. We will continue on antibiotics for another week. You also will need to get used to eating, you still have the nasal tube in for feeding because you lost a lot of weight. We’ll start slow and once we think you’re able to eat most of your calories on your own, we can remove the tube. As for the previous plan, since you are already admitted, we will do the scan in two days to check on the progression of the tumor. If things are progressing well, we will be able to put chemotherapy on hold for a while and give your body time to recover, if not we will have to restart it soon after you recover.”
Daeron nodded, his stomach giving an uncomfortable lurch at the thought of what the scan would show. His father also looked several shades paler at her proclamation. Clearly neither of them were ready, but better to know than to wait.
After a few more reminders about taking it easy and the importance of starting to move around, Dr Anita bade them both farewell.
Daeron glanced around the room, unsure if he wanted to look at his fathers face. His father cleared his throat, making Daeron look towards him again.
He was sitting on the chair, his fists clenched and knuckles turning white. If Daeron looked closer he could see a faint tremor in his arm. His face was strained, like he was trying to appear calm but couldn’t handle it.
Daeron shoved aside his worry and the building anxiety in his chest and reached over to place a hand on top of his fathers, forcing him to unclench his fist.
“Don’t worry father. It will be fine. Mother always used to tell you to stop being so cynical right?”
She had told them all to stop being so cynical and gloomy, all the way until she was on her deathbed. Even while her eyes were filled with pain, she still tried to make them laugh. Daeron missed her laugh.
His father sighed, his body relaxing somewhat. “You’re right, son. Worrying will do us no good.”
His father still looked worried, so Daeron tried another tactic. He leaned in, a smirk on his face as he asked his father a question he knew would change his mood.
“So father ... .have you been able to fire Anderson yet?” He asked, and like he expected, his father groaned before launching into his usual tirade about his co-worker Anderson, who had somehow convinced the entire office that he and Maekar Targaryen were besties for life. The tension left his father’s shoulders, and despite the annoyance on his face as he thought of his coworker, his face looked lighter. Daeron was glad for it.
Later that night, he had another dream of his mother, only this one was not a dream, it was a memory. One that he had almost forgotten.
Daeron was sitting by his mother’s bedside, the floral wallpaper that she had picked out only a year ago looking much too cheerful for the dreary afternoon. Daeron had pretended to be sick to get out of going to school so he could sit with his mother. He had been doing that almost twice a week now. His father had given him a look that morning, but Daeron knew that he would not deny him this, not while his mother was almost constantly ill these past couple of months and repeatedly going to the hospital.
His other siblings were at school or with the nannies, leaving Daeron alone to sit with his mother and bask in her presence.
Dyanna had turned to look at him, a smile on her face despite her feverish cheeks. Daeron wrung out another cool cloth and placed it on her forehead before fluffing her pillows.
He turned to pick up the book he was reading aloud to her, but before he could start, he felt her hand touch his arm.
“My sweet boy. Can you get me that leather notebook on my desk?” Daeron nodded, jumping up to fulfill her request.
The notebook looked old, the leather well worn. It had her name stitched on the cover, and was clearly almost full. He gave it to her and watched her open it, before flipping to the very end.
“I need something to look forward to. How about you and I make a list?”
“A list?”
“Yes, love. A list of things we want to do once I get better. Places to go, things to enjoy. I want to do these things with you so that we can both enjoy our time together.”
Daeron nodded, feeling very pleased that mother had chosen him for this important goal. As they sat down together, by the time his father had come home from work, they had a list of 20 things to do once his mother had recovered.
She did recover from that bout of illness, and they were able to check off 10 of their items. Unfortunately, she became much more sick a few months later, dying before the other 10 could be completed.
The memory had shifted then, Daeron now sitting beside her in a hospital bed. There were people crying around him, Aerion hysterical in his father’s arms. Daeron had come as close as he could to her, wanting to smell the scent of lavender and honey that his mother always smelt like, but all he could smell was the antiseptic of the hospital.
“Daeron my love, don’t lose hope. Look after your father, he needs it more than he knows. And your siblings.”
“Mother… mother please don’t go! I would die in your place.” Daeron had pleaded, his father behind him choking out a sob at his words.
“Oh my darling. I would rather you live for me instead. Finish our list for me okay? Promise me?” His mother could have asked him for the world and he would have given it to her, just to have another day in her arms. Daeron nodded, promising her before he was being pulled away by a nurse, the wailing of the monitors haunting his dreams for years to come.
Daeron woke up, tears streaming down his cheeks. He had hidden the list in his desk after the funeral, unable to see the point of anything. As the years had gone by, he started numbing the pain with alcohol and drugs. It had been much easier than acknowledging the hole in his heart, the purposelessness that he had felt. Every day he woke up knowing he was failing his mother, but he was not strong enough to keep himself going.
Now, with the reality that his life was not as guaranteed as he once thought it was, Daeron had been quietly resolving to make changes. With his current hospitalization too, he knew that being reckless was no longer an option. He felt a sense of purpose and hoped his mother forgave him for taking so long.
He took another shaky breath, steeling his nerves. Once he got out, he was going to be even better. He would make his father come home earlier to see his kids more often, hang out with his siblings more, and most importantly, make his mother proud by finishing that list.
Of course, just because he resolved to become better, does not mean the rest of his body understood that.
----
“What do you mean nothing has changed?” Daeron repeated the sentence, unable to believe what Dr Anita had just told him. He was immensely glad that his father had gone home to shower, at Daeron’s bequest earlier today and had not returned yet.
“I’m so sorry Daeron. The scans show the tumor is the same size. If you would like, I can come back later when your father is here and we can-”
“No.” Daeron shook his head, interrupting the doctor.
“No I…I don’t want you to tell anyone about this please. As a patient I’m exercising my rights. No one other than me will know the results of the scan.”
Dr Anita looked like she wanted to say something, but instead gave him a sad smile.
“Alright Daeron. I will come when you are alone tomorrow to speak about what should be done next, until then, please think carefully about what you would like to be told to your family and friends.”
Daeron nodded, the numbness he had been feeling suddenly washing away and a sense of hopelessness entering his heart.
And all he could do was cry