Chapter Text
Jooyeon finished reading Kwak Jiseok's interview with him. He judged the man as he thought his interview was not professional. The title was kind of clickbait-y since Jooyeon didn't say anything about the death but rather, things about the relationship. It wasn't the best interview they've ever done together, adding on top of that, the picture used didn't suit the theme of said interview. It bothered him that he couldn't say anything about it. If he did, it would destroy the freelance journalist's job and earn his hatred, which was not something Jooyeon wanted.
The businessman put his phone in his pocket. Following a sigh, he turned off his car, took the keys, and got out of it. He inhaled sharply and felt the cold air of the night traveling through his nostrils. A chill ran through his body, but he composed himself rather quickly, blaming the cold air. He proceeded to lean against a wall and slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out a box of cigarettes. He wasn't supposed to have them in his pockets since they could damage his image, but before going out of his house this morning, he knew he would need them. He rationalized that anybody would smoke out of stress if they talked for more than an hour about their late husband without having to show any other feeling than nostalgia. He needed a way to calm his anxiety and he found it by smoking.
Oh Seungmin
The name came to his mind like a fleeting bolt, taking him by surprise. That was the name of the person with whom he shared ten years of his life.
An incomparable man
Deep in his thoughts, he finished the cigarette rather quickly and tossed the butt to the ground, stepping on it with his shoe worth a couple of thousand dollars. When he felt that it was well crushed, he began to walk to his favorite bar that was somewhat close to him. He didn't frequent bars much, since he had a very big and personal one at his house, but in search of comfort, he decided to go. It was a bar where all the famous businessmen from that area of South Korea went, and he thought it was not a bad thing to stop by. It was a very elegant and fancy one and nobody was painted as an alcoholic there, but rather, they were painted as a millionaire club looking to have fun and clear their mind from their busy days.
He walked past several stores, not admiring them as he wanted to get there as quickly as possible. His mind and body were asking for whiskey, and that’s what he will give it. Is that what widowers do, right? Get drunk to forget the sorrows. Or so Jooyeon thought.
He arrived at the front of the bar eagerly. The doorman let him pass with a wave, which Jooyeon returned. He greeted several people at the entrance and went directly to the bar. He saw the guy he wanted so badly to see and sat down on an empty chair.
"Hi, Hyeongjun," He said, accompanied by a smirk. Today the light suited the boy very well and Jooyeon liked that a lot. Hyeongjun had the power to turn Jooyeon into jelly and that made the man nervous. Nobody knew about the love affairs between the bartender and the businessman, and that was the best for everyone.
"Oh well, hello Mr. Lee" The man replied formally with a kind smile. "Would you like some whiskey?" He asked, picking up a glass that he had just cleaned. Knowing beforehand what Jooyeon was going to say, he started pouring the whiskey into the glass.
"I want you." Jooyeon bit his lip. He couldn't control himself around the bartender. And even now that his uniform accented his waist so well.
"I'm working. You know my work policy." He rolled his eyes and passed the drink to the businessman. The guy took the drink in his hands and clicked his tongue.
"Boring." He answered and brought the glass to his mouth. He felt the liquid go down his throat and smiled. This was what he needed.
He turned around and started to see what was going on at the bar. After browsing for a little bit, his eyes met his most loyal buyer and trader from Oh-Lee Enterprise, Goo Gunil. With a simple wave, he called for the man to come and he quickly did, greeting Jooyeon as he drew near. He swiftly took a seat next to the businessman and looked directly at him.
"You're a fucking liar," Gunil said out of nowhere with a serious look.
"Why do you call Lee Jooyeon like that?" The businessman asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling, looking straight ahead. He knew where this conversation was going.
"That smile that only Oh Seungmin had..." Gunil imitated with a shrill voice what Jooyeon expressed in the interview. "Damn geniuses. Both of you. That Oh and you. I feel inferior just by being by your side." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
"We both had a smart business partner. Don't expect us to not get our way." Jooyeon smirked and drank more of his whiskey.
"Tell me the story again. I want to know it well just in case I want to rat you out one day and take you out of the business. " Gunil said jokingly. Jooyeon knew he wouldn't give them away, so he decided to tell him the story.
"Well, if I remember correctly we came up with the idea 10 years ago. He came to my office one day with a proposal. At that moment, we both already had a multi-million dollar company each so he proposed that we join forces so that we could become richer. I asked him how he was planning to make us earn more money and we concluded that a gay marriage would be perfect and controversial. People would support a business that is run by a gay couple more than two men who are just business partners. Moreover, the public would be suspicious of something from the beginning since we planned to merge our companies so why not make the suspicions true and win the sympathy of the people? And, we did it. We took fake photos of our wedding that never happened. We called the company 'Oh-Lee" to make it more official and from there sales went through the roof. People loved us, they wanted to know everything about our life. We were thinking of adopting a child and everything but that was too hasty, and we didn't want to raise a kid inside of the lie that was our marriage. " Jooyeon said proudly of the idea that he and Seungmin made reality.
"So, did Seungmin truly die? Or is he on an island around Hawaii and his whole death was another act?" Gunil asked suspiciously.
"That is true. He, unfortunately, died. He got sick very often and got pneumonia. After some time, it got worse, causing failure in his lungs and he died on the 20th of last month." Jooyeon said a little sad, remembering the last moments of the man who he called his husband.
Gunil patted the man on the back. "I’m sorry"
"I miss him." Jooyeon huffed. "We didn't have a relationship. Not even feelings for each other but spending ten years of your life with someone who became very close to you, and then suddenly dies, makes you fond of them and it hurts a lot."
"I know. I know, but things happen man ..." He said and thought for a moment. "I have nothing more to say, sorry." Gunil shrugged, simply not knowing how to comfort people.
"It's okay. I'd rather you say that than come with fake condolences and clichéd things like many people have told me." He said hopelessly and turned to Hyeongjun as he noticed that he had finished his drink.
"What time do you leave?" Jooyeon asked the sleepy-eyed bartender curiously.
"At 2." He responded by taking the glass from the businessman’s hand. He poured some more whiskey into it and passed it to him.
"Do you want me to wait for you?" He questioned by hinting at something that was already familiar to Hyeongjun and that he knew he would not refuse.
He approached his ear, whispered: "Sure." And bit his earlobe seductively. Then, pulled himself together and went to serve another customer.
"To satisfy my curiosity, did Seungmin know about your sexual adventures with this one?" Gunil said and pointed at the bartender with his thumb. It seemed like he despised the man serving drinks but it wasn't true and Jooyeon knew it. All that seriousness was part of his attitude.
"Duh. It's not like even if we were fake married, it would deprive us of having real relationships." Jooyeon said, making it seem like the marriage he had with Seungmin was child's play. Gunil was bothered by the simplicity with which Jooyeon took the situation but he didn't say anything.
"He had someone? I mean, with whom to 'satisfy his needs'" Gunil said, hinting that none of the relationships they both had were connected with true love since apparently, neither believed in it.
"Yes... I don't know her name very well but she is a very pretty girl and I am proud that he found someone who did love him. I think he didn't love her back but the girl's eyes lit up every time she listened to the smallest detail of him." He said and the image of the girl crying appeared in his mind when he learned that her Minee, as she called him, died. A wave of sadness passed through Jooyeon's body, and a lump formed in his throat but he ignored it.
The silence was present between them as Gunil processed everything said. His thought that neither of them believed in true love came true and he didn't know whether to react to that revelation. He considered himself a serious man with few sentimental displays, but even the most serious of men fell in love. Gunil decided to leave that topic there and ask something else that was constantly on his mind.
"Can I ask you two questions? This is being the first one." Gunil inquired, used to say that since he knew what Jooyeon would answer him if he said one.
"Tell me.” He said and took a sip of his whiskey.
"It's not that I've thought about this much but... what are you going to do with the company? It belonged to both of you, so you should sell it or something right?"
"No," Jooyeon said dryly and then smiled, remembering how smart Seungmin was. "Seungmin and I, in our wills- yes, we did them early on- decided to leave the company to the other. I will not keep one hundred percent of his money since he gave a part to his brother and his parents but the company belongs to me, along with the stockholders of course,"
"You guys did plan this well." The man exclaimed in amazement, albeit with a neutral expression. "How did you guys get so close to each other?" Astonishment prompted him to ask more questions.
"That was the only flaw in our plan. The only problem and I realized a little late, was that we both blindly trusted each other. That may have brought us down but apparently, we were right, and trusting each other paid off. "
"I'm still amazed. This was too perfect to be true." Gunil said, looking straight ahead with wide eyes. They both watched as an almost unknown businessman was dragged out of the premises. The man yelled 'I will sue you’ and 'you will get bad reviews.' Then, incoherent things were heard until the bouncers managed to get him out of there.
"Wasn't that the owner of Sunshine Corp.?" Gunil guessed thinking aloud. Jooyeon, although the question was not directed at him, nodded, taking another sip from his glass. The situation did not matter to him and it did not cause him much surprise since the only thing that was on his mind was the beautiful bartender that he had behind him. Thinking about him kept his mind from reaching sad conclusions and that seemed perfect to Jooyeon.
An hour passed and the conversation he had with Gunil was minimal until the aforementioned had to go home with his boyfriend who was waiting for him at the airport, leaving Jooyeon alone and confused since he never knew that his friend had a boyfriend. He always assumed that he hadn't since the guy flirted a lot, including with Jooyeon himself. Contrary to what he wanted, he did not say anything about it and just said goodbye with a smile. The loneliness did not bother him much since, according to the time on his expensive watch, it was almost time for Hyeongjun to get out of work and go to the businessman's house.
The more the minutes passed, Jooyeon got more excited to have the man with the sleepy eyes in his arms and make him moan with pleasure. He was no longer controlling himself and was looking very intently at Hyeongjun, looking almost like a stalker. This did not bother the bartender since he was provoking the businessman on purpose. He moved his hips exaggeratedly, bent more than necessary to serve customers, only to see the man who waited for him suffer.
Finally, it was time to leave and Jooyeon left earlier so as not to be seen going out with Hyeongjun. He went to his car and stepped inside. He turned it on and put on some relaxing music since if he didn't put it on, he would end up attacking the older man's lips and that wasn't going to end with a simple kiss. Exactly two minutes later, Hyeongjun appeared wearing a different outfit and grinning from ear to ear, eager for things to come. Just as the older man closed the door, Jooyeon started the car in seconds and quickly drove it to the main road. Once there, he accelerated further, not caring that he went over the speed limit 30MPH ago. Hyeongjun massaged the businessman's thigh to excite him more. This didn't sit well with the urge but he just ignored it and continued driving.
In almost nothing, they arrived at the businessman's house. It was an 8 room mansion on the outskirts of the city. Hyeongjun, as always, was amazed at the large house that was presented in front of him. In his mind, he was super excited, almost like a child at Christmas, because he was in the home of a well-known businessman, this being someone he loved very much. He had gone several times, always at night, but that amazement and excitement never left him. The thought that he could one day be Lee's husband and that one day he could live there with him was exciting.
Jooyeon, on the other hand, only thought about sex. It wasn't that he used Hyeongjun, as he had a certain appreciation for him, but the thought of marrying Hyeongjun never crossed his mind.
They both got out of the car quickly and Jooyeon took Hyeongjun's hand, leading him even faster to his destination. A recognized face opened the door for them and Jooyeon gave the butler the car keys. Without saying anything else, he continued on his way to the room, the other man following closely behind.
They quickly reached the businessman's room and began their loving night.
-
A ray of sunlight came through the businessman's window, causing him to get up immediately. He wasn’t bothered by it, though, as he felt relieved and stress-free. The man who slept next to him had the magic to make him feel like this.
He kissed the guy, who was still asleep, and got out of bed. He quickly dressed and went down to the kitchen for coffee. He knew the maid already had it done so he didn't bother asking.
With a swift movement, he sat in a chair at the breakfast table and smiled at the maid.
"Good morning, Mr. Lee. You look very happy today." She said, smiling at him as she poured coffee into a cup.
"Looks like today is going to be a good day for me." He said optimistically and took the cup that the maid had passed him. He drank some of the contents and smirked. "I approve of this coffee." That was not something common for them. He always liked the coffee she made but he just felt like telling her today.
"Thanks." She smiled and bowed. After that, she left the kitchen and returned with the mail. “Here you go, Mr. Lee”
“Thanks, Misun”
The businessman took the letters in his hand and passed them one by one, without being interested in them. Wedding invitations. Doctor appointments and more. None of them mattered until he saw one that caught his eye.
Oh Seungmin
It simply said on the front, plus, obviously, the recipient's name and his address. Jooyeon opened it with shaking hands. If Seungmin was dead, why was he receiving correspondence from him? Was someone doing a prank? He unfolded the paper and began to read it, rapidly recognizing the handwriting of his late husband.
March 2nd
Dear Lee Jooyeon:
I am literally writing this while you are sleeping next to me in a hospital chair. A few hours ago we were told that I would not last long as my lungs are very, very, VERY weak. All my life I have assumed that I would die like this. I've always had a weak respiratory system, so when I felt my pneumonia get worse, I knew I wouldn't last long.
When they told us that I was going to die, you cried a lot and I had to comfort you. You said this was all because you were smoking around me but it really was my own system. I absolutely hate that you took the blame. I also felt in that moment that you really loved me and that everything about us was true but it is not. I know it is not. No matter how much my heart wants this to be true, it never was and much less will be since I will die in no time.
'What?' Jooyeon wondered confusedly as he reread the last part.
...but it is not. I know it is not. No matter how much my heart wants this to be true, it never was and much less will be since I will die in no time.
‘Did Seungmin love me?’ He asked himself. Although he had reread it, he was in shock. The more he thought about the situation, the more confused he was. Tears came to his eyes and he didn't bother to wipe them away. A feeling that he thought was dead resurfaced in his heart. A feeling that he had forgotten and that he had not felt in years.
I remember when we merged our companies. People were excited to learn that two famous Korean businessmen were going to get married and be happy. We knew how to deceive them and for that I am proud. Proud of how great our company is and how far we've come. I know you will take good care of her.
'Yes, I will take good care of the company,' Jooyeon whispered between sobs.
What I’m not proud of is that I didn’t know how to deceive my heart. At first, I didn't romantically love you but as time passed... I fell more and more in love with you. Shit, Jooyeon, living in the same house where someone so perfect is, kills you slowly because you know you can't have them. You are a unique, special being and having you even two minutes close is a blessing.
You are like a warm bath after a snowy day.
You are like an oasis in the desert.
You are that rest that awaits you at the end of a difficult day.
Anyway, you are the person my heart needed but I know you never loved me that way.
The sobs got louder and louder. He didn't care if the maids listened to him. His heart couldn't hold what he was feeling, and he needed to let it out.
There were nights when I fell asleep crying, knowing that I couldn't have you. Knowing that you were with another man. Surrendering to him as if I would not accept you in the same way as him. That man was Hyeongjun. His name even sounds cuter than mine, a simple Seungmin.
Jooyeon cried more, his tears damaging the ink on the paper a bit as they fell onto it. This was not part of the plan. They couldn't fall in love.
You love him, I know you do. He loves you back, which makes me very happy. You won't be alone when I'm gone. You will have Hyeongjun. Hopefully, you can love him as much as I love you. I hope you guys are happy and you can share our fortune with him. He deserves it for accepting a secret relationship between the two of you.
Anyway, this is a letter to confess my feelings for you. Tell you what I never dared to tell you. Jooyeon... I love you. Remember that. I loved you when I was alive and I will still love you when dead. No matter how impossible that sounds. I wish you the best in life and that you can take advantage of what we formed together.
P.S. If I survive, I beg you to give me a chance to make you fall in love. Just one.
With lots of love,
Lee Seungmin
Jooyeon closed his eyes and dropped the letter to the ground. He no longer knew if he was sad or relieved. Tears still flowed from his eyes yet there was a smile present on his lips. That smile appeared when he realized that if Seungmin had said this years ago, he most likely would have told him that he felt the same way but the feelings for the man who wrote the letter had dissipated years ago. It had been years since he looked at Seungmin with love eyes. Since he smiled every time the man did something charming. Since he got up very early to make him breakfast and then told him that the maid was the one who did it. Those times were already hidden in Jooyeon's memory, and he didn't want to remember them again since he couldn't do anything if they showed up.
He slowly went to his room, where Hyeongjun was still sleeping and laid down on his bed. He hugged the other man from behind and started crying. Hyeongjun swiftly moved and Jooyeon stopped sobbing, as to not wake him up. The guy felt terrible. He wanted to see Seungmin one more time. That letter unbalanced his feelings and his mind. They could not love each other. It was part of the deal but apparently, they both did. Both, at some time, loved each other and because they did not want to break the deal, they did not confess. He couldn't do anything about it anymore since the guy was dead, so he resigned himself to continue crying and proposed to love Hyeongjun as much as Seungmin loved him.
"Good morning." The bartender in front of him said, turning around.
"I love you, Hyeongjun," Jooyeon said and started crying, hugging him tightly.