Chapter Text
Finally, for the first time since arriving in Paris, Erwin has a routine. He wakes up and has coffee with the Wings of Freedom, goes to the Moulin Rouge for rehearsals from ten to three, eats and works on the musical with the troupe, then goes back to the cabaret to see Levi and the other dancers perform. Even though freedom is one of his most treasured values, it’s still nice to know, more or less, how his day is going to look.
He’s getting to know all the Moulin Rouge dancers, especially Isabel and Furlan. They’re the two Levi seems to trust the most, the only ones that he seems to share a past with before this place. None of them offer up that information, and Erwin doesn’t pry, but whenever he sees Levi interact with them, his laugh and speech for once easy and familiar, he wonders what Hange meant when they hinted at the reasons Levi ended up dancing here.
And as the weeks pass, Erwin is pleased to be spending more time with Levi himself. Since they’ve written themselves into a corner with this romance storyline that he now has to act out with Levi, they spend days at a time rehearsing in semi-privacy, running through their chase and fight number again and again until they dance with and around each other with fluid grace, no longer feeling like dancers moving through blocked-out choreography. Erwin doesn’t hesitate anymore, getting in close during the chase and trusting that Levi will push him away if he crosses a line—Levi never does, though Erwin always fears Levi can hear his heart pounding in his chest whenever Erwin pins him up against the wall at the climax of their fight.
Slowly, day by day, the sets are built and painted, costumes sewn, the script written and rewritten and refined again and again. Hange devises the wires for the aerial fight scene, and Erwin gets the joy of watching in wonder as Levi learns to soar across the stage, lighter than breath, more graceful than a starling in flight. It’s an absolutely captivating sight, one that makes Erwin fear he’s actually not a very good writer after all because he can’t find the words to describe just how dazzling Levi is in the air.
Erwin always invites Levi to dinner or to spend time with him and the Wings of Freedom, always makes sure to include Isabel and Furlan as well. But Levi declines, every time, due to obligations to entertain Zeke. Erwin knows he can’t take it personally, knows that Levi’s time and company belong to others, but the disappointment grows with each rejection nonetheless. Levi seems to sense this, because one evening, for the first time since Erwin visited him in the elephant, Levi kisses him before leaving. It happens faster than Erwin can process it, for by the time he realizes that the tingling on his lips is from Levi’s kiss, Levi’s already disappeared, leaving Erwin to stand there smiling like a lovestruck fool.
“That’s it!” Marco shouts suddenly. “That stupid look on your face! Erwin, that’s exactly what I need for the scene where you and Levi confess your love for each other! Do that!” Jean and Sasha roar with laughter while Erwin blushes all the way to his ears.
It keeps happening, and it becomes part of Erwin’s routine. As rehearsal comes to a close, Levi kisses him before slipping away to prepare for that night’s performance. And now that Erwin knows what to expect, he can kiss back. Sometimes, he can see the hint of a flush on Levi’s cheeks as well as he retreats into the labyrinthine hallways of the Moulin Rouge.
One particular afternoon, after Levi’s kissed him and retreated, Erwin catches Isabel giving him a look. “…Yes?” He feels self-conscious, suddenly, concerned for her assessment.
“You can kiss him first, you know,” she says, her voice lilting with levity.
Erwin hesitates. That always felt, somehow, like crossing a line. Letting Levi lead, letting him initiate intimacy, felt like the right thing to do. But Isabel knows him, and surely she wouldn’t give him poor advice, would she? “He’d be all right with that?”
Isabel nods. “I know he would. He appreciates—we all appreciate—how respectful you are of him. But it’s nice to feel wanted, really wanted, isn’t it? So show him.”
Erwin considers that for a moment, then nods. “I will keep that in mind. Thank you, Isabel.”
“Anytime!” With that, she skips off to hang out with Sasha and Mikasa, who Erwin notices she’s grown rather fond of.
And the next day, Erwin puts his plan—well, Isabel’s plan—into motion. As rehearsal comes to a close, Erwin reaches out for Levi’s hand. “Wait,” he says, holding Levi’s fingers loosely. Before he loses his nerve, he leans down for the kiss. Beneath him, he feels Levi tense, but before Erwin can make up his mind to pull away, Levi’s pressing his hands to the sides of Erwin’s face and kissing him back hard, with a ferocity that steals the breath from Erwin’s lungs and leaves him gasping when Levi pulls back. Erwin straightens, catching his breath, while Levi stands there with the closest thing to mirth that Erwin’s ever seen on his face.
“Took you long enough, Blondie. Here I was starting to think you only liked me because I listen to your weird poetry,” Levi says, eyes narrowed slightly in amusement as he turns on his heel to go. “See you tonight.”
Hange sneaks up and claps him on the shoulder. “Nicely done, Erwin! A fine gentleman, worthy of our Sparkling Diamond,” they tease him. “Just think how lucky you are, hmm? Many a man would pay dearly for a single kiss from Levi, you know!”
Erwin does know, and the reminder is a grim one. But what he also knows, has known from the beginning, is that Levi selling love to any man with deep enough pockets isn’t a moral failing or an undesirable quality. It’s his only means of survival. And no matter how much it might hurt to see his invitations refused and the gaggles of men vying for Levi’s attention when he dances at the club, his affections and care are stronger than simple infatuation. He wants to be there for Levi, to be a comfort and a constant and a steadfast beacon of support in this sea of wandering hands and ogling eyes and unrelenting transactional desire.
Exactly five months, three weeks, and a day after that first rehearsal, the musical is finally complete. So naturally, the Wings of Freedom throw a party. They’ve demonstrated remarkable restraint during the writing period, quite honestly, and with how fond they are of drinking and partying, Erwin’s honestly shocked they lasted this long. And perhaps it’s because this is the first party they’ve thrown in months, or maybe because the Christmas season is sneaking up on them all, that it’s especially rowdy tonight.
When Erwin heads upstairs for the festivities, he finds everyone there. Not only the Wings of Freedom, but most of the Moulin Rouge dancers too. There aren’t nearly enough sofas and chairs for the number of people crammed into the apartment, but no one cares. Marco sits on Jean’s lap clutching a mug of something that’s, concerningly, bubbling and foaming; Armin and Eren and Isabel are all sprawled in a pile on the floor while they chat, and more yet are perched on windowsills and tables and pieces of the half-built sets and out on the balcony in the cool November air. He spots Furlan talking to Mikasa, and Krista and Ymir, a pair of young dancers from the club, kissing in another corner, but Levi is notably absent. Though Erwin hadn’t expected any differently, he still feels the disappointment curl in his chest.
“There’s our writer!” shouts a voice from directly next to him. Erwin turns to see—
“Hange?” he says, surprised.
Hange laughs and takes a bow, nearly spilling the drink in their hand. “The one and only!”
“Don’t you have…” Erwin gestures vaguely out the window to the Moulin Rouge.
“Club is closed tonight! That’s why everyone’s here!” Hange spreads their arms grandly, still ever the club host. Even here in this crowded apartment, absent of dramatic spotlights and the glitter of the nightclub, their eyes seem to sparkle with something effervescent yet impenetrable. “I tell you what, Erwin, you bohemians sure know how to throw a party!”
Erwin laughs. “Oh, I can’t take any credit for this, it’s all the young ones. They do know how to have a good time, don’t they?”
“And you should, too!” Hange thrusts their glass of wine into Erwin’s hand. “You have a lot to celebrate, so bottoms up!”
Before Erwin can ask if they’re sure he can have their drink, Hange has produced a bottle of absinthe from seemingly nowhere, already uncorked. “Cheers!” Hange clinks it against Erwin’s glass and starts drinking straight from the bottle. What can Erwin do but say cheers back and take a polite sip before moving through the throng to find a quieter corner. But a quieter corner does not exist in a Wings of Freedom party. Everywhere he looks, people are dancing, singing, drinking, laughing raucously. He’s also fairly certain a few of them are smoking opium in one corner. It’s exactly the kind of scene his father warned him away from when he first moved to Paris, and yet right now, his father’s warnings are the last thing on his mind.
He finds himself back near the front door, sitting on the corner of a desk while Hange stands on a low table, regaling him and a handful of the other troupe members with the tale of a magician who had come to perform in the club some years ago. “…not only did he escape from a coffin full of water that I personally locked chains around, but he was completely dry!” they conclude with a wild wave of their hands. “It was incredible! Masterful! That American Harry Houdini is stealing his act, I’m telling you!”
“Dry? But how was he still dry?” Connie asks, mouth agape.
“We’ll never know, will we?” Hange laments with a sigh. “Oh, I wish he would return. I simply must learn his secrets!”
The front door opens and shuts, almost inaudible over the din of the party, and with no ceremony or fanfare, in slips Levi. Erwin’s of course seen Levi wear dozens of outfits over the last months, everything from comfortable rehearsal dress to the elaborate crystalline corsets and trailing gossamer skirts and heels of his nightly performances, but this, what he’s in right now, is the most striking thing Erwin’s ever seen him wear.
A simple gray shirt, long-sleeved and collarless and a neckline wide enough to give a glimpse of collarbone, tucked into a pair of plain white trousers that cling to his legs in a fashion that should be scandalous, yet somehow isn’t. A short tan jacket, cut off so the hem ends at his ribs, and a pair of brown knee-length boots that have clearly been to hell and back complete the outfit. It’s understated yet neat, and somehow, perfectly fitting. Erwin feels, for the first time, like he’s seeing the real Levi, the one at the heart of all the sequins and glitter and mystique and purred flirtations.
“Levi,” Erwin greets him warmly.
“Hey, Blondie.” Levi grants him a rare half-smile. “Finished early with the duke tonight, so I came to see what all the fuss was about.”
Erwin scoots over, making room for Levi to join him; Levi hops up onto the desk, thigh pressed up against Erwin’s so closely he can feel Levi’s body heat seep through the layers of their clothes.
“Hey, Levi’s here! Drink up!” Jean crows, messily filling a wine glass with champagne and handing it to Levi. “Cheers!”
“Cheers.” Levi tilts the glass in greeting and raises it to his lips to sip at. Erwin, already several drinks in, has to look away so he doesn’t fixate on the curve of Levi’s mouth or the bob of his throat as he swallows. “So. You always throw parties like this?”
“Oh, no, not me. Like I told Hange, this is all the young ones’ doing,” Erwin explains, motioning vaguely to the chaos unfolding in the apartment. “They’ll find any reason to party. Tonight, it’s because the musical is finally finished.”
“I heard. Good thing too, if Marco changed my choreography one more time I would’ve thrown myself in the Seine.”
Erwin grins in amusement. “Surely not.”
“I just fucking might. The shit in the water’s good for the skin, haven’t you heard?”
That crude cadence Erwin first heard that night in the elephant is back, a far cry from the professional, almost lyrical register he uses in the nightclub, and Erwin’s shocked for a moment before he realizes this is Levi at his most unguarded. That just like the plain clothing, this voice, stripped of ornamentation and affectation, is the truest form of Levi.
There’s a sudden ruckus in the other corner, and Erwin turns to look. Jean’s cleared everyone off his piano and sat down to play. Despite his intoxicated state, his music is no different, the simple chords ringing out clear and strong over the noise of the party.
“Oh, something’s happening,” Hange whispers excitedly as they watch the Wings of Freedom cluster around the piano.
Jean starts to sing, his voice steady and strong.
It’s a brand new day
It’s never too late to start
Marco joins him with a smile, the two of the harmonizing gently.
Can’t live this life with an empty heart
Every single time that we lay it on the line
It’s a roller coaster ride for one
More of the Wings of Freedom join in, Eren and Sasha’s voices full of energy while Armin sings a little more tentatively.
When you know it’s do or die and you’re running out of time
We gotta give it all we’ve got
All we’ve got...
Together, all seven of them sing in unison.
I want something more, a life worth fighting for
I don’t need a reason to set the world on fire
And burn a little bit brighter now
There’s something beautiful hiding in the shadows
So set the world on fire
Let’s burn a little bit brighter now
It’s hopeful, brimming with youth and wide-eyed ambition and everything Erwin remembers consuming him when he was their age, and it brings a smile to his face. Hange whistles as scattered applause breaks out from the Moulin Rouge crew. Some of them, like Isabel and Krista, press closer. “Can we sing with you?” Isabel asks.
“Of course! Join in!” Jean grins at her, and she beams, picking up the verse melody again.
Sometimes we gotta risk it all to chase a dream
Krista joins her, adding another line on the spot.
It’s a dive in headfirst
All or nothing kind of thing
Sasha throws an arm across Isabel’s shoulders as more of them join in.
And every single time that we lay it on the line
It’s a roller coaster ride for one
When we know it’s do or die and we’re running out of time
We gotta give it all we’ve got
I want something more
When had Hange left the table and gone over to the piano? At some point, they’d joined the little crowd in Jean’s corner, with arms thrown across Marco’s and Armin’s shoulders as they all sway back and forth to the music.
A life worth fighting for
I don’t need a reason to set the world on fire
And burn a little bit brighter now
There’s something beautiful hiding in the shadows
So set the world on fire
Let’s burn a little bit brighter now
Perhaps it’s the alcohol Erwin’s had tonight, but he thinks this right here is the something beautiful they’re singing about. The Wings of Freedom and the Moulin Rouge dancers, all vastly different in age and background and skillset, yet all brought together by music to create something amazing. And even more amazing, Levi’s leaning against him, a solid grounding weight, and singing along under his breath as the impromptu sing-along comes to a close and Jean strikes the final chords.
We’ll burn a little bit brighter now.
The whole apartment explodes with exuberant joy, and Erwin feels his heart swell with contentment as he watches the troupe members and the dancers embrace and celebrate and pride themselves on their collaboration. It had felt, all those months ago when rehearsals first began, like an impossible task to get these two groups to work together seamlessly, but they’ve all grown closer as rehearsals progressed. Now, just like within this ecosystem of the party, it’s not rare to see Isabel mingling with Sasha and Mikasa, or Krista hanging out in comfortable silence with Armin, or Hange and Marco deeply absorbed in planning. It’s coming together. They’re coming together. And Erwin thinks, hopes with all his heart, that they really might have something incredible on their hands.