Chapter Text
"Look Before You Leap"
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jacob asked for what must have been the twentieth time that day. “Yes!” Bella replied enthusiastically. “You'll jump with me, it'll be fine, so please,” she begged sweetly. Jacob groaned, then sighed exasperatedly.
“Fine! But we're jumping, then heading straight to shore! Once,” Jacob demanded. Bella put up her hands in mock surrender. “Aye aye, captain,” she said, giving a two finger salute. The boys were snickering behind them and Bella had to pull him away from being in their faces.
“Alright, let's get this over with,” Jacob relented. Bella clapped and squealed in excited delight. “I can't believe I'm letting you talk me into allowing this,” Jacob complained as they lined up at the cliff edge. “It's cuz you love me,” Bella shrugged, and before Jacob could comment, she jumped off.
“BELLA!!!” he screamed over her shouts of pure joy as he quickly followed her down, grateful they were already holding hands. He pulled her into him right before they hit the water. As soon as they surfaced and swam clear of the waves, Jacob could feel his anxiety turn into annoyance. The second they were on shore, he let her have it.
“Are you crazy?! Are you insane?! Why would you jump before—,” but his nagging was cut short by Bella's shivering. Jacob grumbled as he went to pick her up. “Come here, idiot,” he chastised, scooping her up into his arms to carry her back to where dry clothes and warm towels lay waiting.
“You are never doing that again,” Jacob huffed as he dried her off. Bella laughed. “At least I got to do it once!” she said, utterly carefree. Jacob could feel his blood pressure skyrocketing.
This was the rest of his life.
Keeping her from being a danger to herself and others.
Hurray. She was so lucky he loved her (she really was).
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
As soon as she was mostly dry and in dry warm clothes, Bella was shoved into the passenger seat of her own car with the heater blasting on full. Right before they left, Sam came running over. Both of their hearts sank when they heard that Harry had passed from a heart attack.
It was a somber trip home.
“It's not your fault, Jake…,” Bella tried, but he wouldn't listen. “I wasn't there, Bella! None of us were! We were goofing off at the cliffs! She killed him. I know she did,” he said with conviction. Bella wanted to cry.
“This is all my fault,” she choked up. Jacob almost slammed on the breaks to ask her if she was crazy. “How is any of this your fault, Bella?” he demanded to know. Bella stewed in her guilt for a moment. “For one, I asked to go to the cliffs,” she started.
“We wouldn't have been with him, anyways, because we can't interfere with the official investigation as most of us are minors. Next excuse to blame yourself,” Jacob discounted. It almost made Bella want to laugh. Almost. “She's only here because of me,” Bella continued.
“No, she’s here because Edward killed her mate, James,” he argued. “Who he only killed because he was protecting me! See?! Still my fault!” Bella shouted. Jacob was trying not to become angry at her. It wasn't her fault she was here and it wasn't her fault she blamed herself.
Deep. Breaths.
“You can not blame yourself because a monster like James couldn't control himself. This is not your fault,” Jacob said firmly. Maybe if he said it enough, she would finally believe him. Bella sat with her head on his shoulder for a while, before she started to shiver again. Jacob slipped off his jacket and put it over her.
“108 degrees over here,” Jacob smirked. Bella shivered as the warmth of the jacket settled into her skin. “Ugh, god. My hands are freezing. Must be nice never getting cold,” she lamented. “It’s a wolf thing,” he shrugged.
“It’s really nice. You’re just warm. You’re like your own sun,” Bella commented. Jacob couldn't stop smiling. “You're my sun, Bells,” he said tenderly. Well, that worked to heat up her cheeks, at least. They drove in contented silence for a few minutes before Jacob spoke again.
“Is this better? Now that you know about me?” he asked. Bella looked up at him.
“But?” she pushed. Jacob swallowed past the lump in his throat.
“You saw what happened to Emily. Sam got angry. Lost it for a split second. Emily was standing too close. He’ll never be able to take that back. What if I got mad at you? I promised I wouldn’t hurt you, Bella… I would die,” he said softly.
He felt like he was going to break.
“Sometimes… I feel like I’m gonna disappear,” he whispered, as if speaking it too loud made it real. Bella wrapped her arms around his body. “Not that you need me to tell you something like this, but I always will. You’re not gonna lose yourself. I won’t let that happen,” she declared. Jacob smiled weakly.
“How?” he asked. Bella nestled into his chest.
“I’ll tell you all the time how special you are. To me, to everyone. I'll never let you lose yourself, Jacob. You said I'm your sun, your center of gravity. Let me be your anchor, then, too. I'll keep you tethered to yourself. I won’t let go, so you’ll never gte lost. How does that sound?” Bella proposed. Jacob grinned.
“Sounds good, Bells. Really, really good,” he said.
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When they finally arrived at Bella's house, Jacob's expression turned hard. “I smell a vampire,” he announced with no lack of aggression. Bella looked around, but paused when she spotted a familiar sight.
“That's… that's Alice's car!” she spotted, and Jacob's eyes went wide. Are the Cullens back? he wondered. Bella grabbed his hand and all but dragged him out of the car towards the front door. She cautiously opened it, and was immediately accosted by a breathtaking hug from Alice.
“Bella!” she exclaimed. “How is this possible? How are you alive? I saw… I saw you try to kill yourself. You jumped off a cliff!” she fretted, checking her over and over again for injuries. Bella tried to calm her down.
“I'm fine! See? No broken bones, no blood, no bruises. I did jump off a cliff, but I wasn't trying to commit suicide or anything like that. Recreational cliff diving only, I promise, and Jake was with me the whole time, helped me get to shore and everything. It was perfectly safe,” she assured her. Alice looked extremely confused, but then it clicked.
“I couldn't see you jump with her and get her out of the water! I can't seem to see past you and your pack of mutts!” Alice insulted.
“Alice!” Bella scolded. “Don’t you dare, not in my house, not when I'm dating one of them,” she scolded. Alice's eyes went wide. “You're… you're what?” she muttered in disbelief. Bella just sighed, waving around the hand that was still attached to Jacob. Alice reeled back in disgust. She opened her mouth, quickly rethought her words, and then promptly shut it.
“I see. Well, congratulations,” she said finally. Jacob looked like the cat that ate the canary. “Anyways, how long are you staying for? Is it just you?” Bella asked, noticing how Jacob tensed. “I'll be staying for at least a few weeks, but it's just me. I just came to check up on things,” Alice answered. Bella felt a sigh of relief.
“Will you stay and chat?” Bella asked. Alice looked between her and Jacob as politely as she could manage. “I'll be just outside. I'll come back in when you've put the dog out,” she smiled. Bella rolled her eyes and sighed.
“Alice…,” she warned lightheartedly, who just shrugged. “I didn't call him a mutt… or a mongrel,” she stated. Bella gave her a look. “I'm trying,” she assured. Jacob scoffed.
“Behave, the both of you,” Bella said sternly. Alice shrugged, nodded, and went outside. With her gone and Charlie currently out, Jacob had the sudden realization that the house was empty. Bella had just moved to put a dish in the sink and Jacob took his golden opportunity to pin her against it. Bella giggled and turned around.
“And just what do you think you're doing?” she asked. Jacob grinned. “Just saying hi,” he replied. “Mhmm,” Bella said, the disbelief rolling off her tongue. Jacob leaned in closer and closer, until their lips were almost touching. Just two more seconds and—
RING RING RING rang the kitchen phone.
Jacob was about to rip it from the well and throw it violently through a closed window. Instead, he treated it as an opportunity to answer the phone at his girlfriend's house. Damn, that felt nice to say.
“Swan residence, how may I help you?” he answered politely. He earned a playful slap from Bella, but it was entirely worth it. “This is Carlisle Cullen, is Charlie available?” he said. Jacob's blood stilled. He knew it wasn't their fault, but a vampire was responsible for Harry Clearwater’s death. He couldn't help but be bitter, even to Carlisle. Still, he tried to be civilized.
“He’s not here right now. He's planning a funeral,” he replied.
Suddenly, the line went dead.
“Huh, weird,” he commented. “Who was that?” Bella asked, but she didn't get her answer from Jacob before Alice came busting into the kitchen.
“Rosalie told Edward my reason for coming here! I told her I was going to check up on Charlie. He called pretending to be Carlisle, and when he heard he was planning a funeral… he thinks Bella is dead! He's going to try to kill himself!” she said frantically.
Jacob's blood was boiling, his self control barely intact. What was this idiot up to now? How else could he ruin this perfect thing he has now? Couldn't he just leave her alone? He couldn't have just stayed on the phone and asked a question or two?! Bella didn't know what to do.
“You have to come with me to Italy and save him! He’ll just think I'm trying to trick him! He won't listen unless he sees you!” she pleaded. Bella looked torn. Jake was livid.
“What about Charlie? What about school? Leave that dumbass be! He dug his own grave, why do you have to stop him from lying in it?!” Jacob shouted. “How dare you, he's my brother!” Alice yelled back.
“Yeah? Well then you talk him off the ledge! She's not your errand girl! She's not here to fix his listening issues and unstable psyche! Do you have any idea what it was like for her after—?!” Jacob stopped when he felt a tug on his shirt sleeve.
Bella wasn't looking at anyone, but he could see it in her face that she wanted it to stop. Jacob took a deep breath and slid his arm around her waist, bringing her in close. She took a few moments in his arms to think.
“I'll talk to my dad. Try and explain what's going on. I'll go only if he agrees. I can't disappear on him again,” Bella decided, shaking her head. Jacob looked at her like he disagreed, but wouldn't challenge her decision. Alice looked the same. It was now a waiting game until Charlie got home.
Bella packed her bag just in case.
When Charlie got back, he was tired, to say the least. From grief, from planning, from balancing that on top of a full time job and raising an unmedicated teenage girl, you bet your ass that Charlie Swan was fucking tired.
So what he did not expect, or appreciate, the second he got home, was the fervent pleas of his daughter to travel to ITALY to stop the Cullen Bastard from KILLING HIMSELF.
He looked to the powers that be for strength, and there was none. He looked to Bella for good reason, and there was none. He looked to Jacob to find answers, and there were none, only a similarly resigned exhaustion in his eyes. Charlie sat down and pinched the bridge of his nose for a bit to hopefully think of something, anything, to say to her. He sighed, deeper than he thought his lungs were capable, before giving her rapid fire questions.
“Where in Italy?” “Volterra, in Tuscany.”
“Who's going?” “Me and Alice.”
“How long?” “I don't know… three days?”
“Is it dangerous?” “No, dad, it's no joke the safest city in Italy.”
“Why you?” Charlie asked his final question. Bella's chest fell.
“I honestly don't want to,” she confessed.
Alice shot her an unbelieving look, but Jacob looked both proud and smug. Charlie felt a little relieved. He didn't want Edward back in her life again. Ever.
“I have to go, because he won't believe anyone else. He’ll think they're lying to get him to stop. I can't in good conscience not go, if I'm the only one he'll listen to. But that doesn't mean I've forgiven him. I… I never got the chance to say my piece. He told me he didn't love me and just… left. And it almost killed me,” she said. Jacob pulled her tighter against him.
“I'm going to save him from himself, but I'm also going to yell at him for how much he hurt me. I need to do this, dad. Also, technically I'm eighteen and don't need your permission, but I want it, because I promised I'd never disappear on you again and I intend to keep that promise,” she explained.
Charlie was torn between feeling upset and grateful. After a long moment, he let out a groan that softened into a sigh.
“Alright, fine. You can leave after the funeral tomorrow morning. But Jacob goes with you, you call me at least once a day, and you'll be back before school starts on Monday!” Charlie ordered. Bella rushed up and hugged him tight.
“Thank you for understanding,” she breathed. “And you better get Billy's permission, too!” he added sternly. Well, that was it.
They were going to Italy.