Chapter Text
As Shen Yuan entered this dream realm, he didn’t know what to say. There were hundreds of him, and they all walked in a single-file line. He looked forward and he looked back; all he could see was an endless expanse of himself. He had his nose turned up and eyes closed, fanning themselves lightly like a peak lord should.
The space itself, however, was Qingjing Peak—more specifically, the bamboo forest where Shen Yuan met Luo Binghe. And far back into the line he could see a man clad in red and black trying to catch the attention of the shizuns. He was crying, absolutely devastated, as he begged for their attention.
“Shizun! Shizun, shizun! It's me! It's Binghe! Stop ignoring me, please! It hurts so bad!”
Shen Yuan watched as this boy weaved through the hundreds of Shizuns, hoping one would turn his way. Shen Yuan chased after him, wanting to tell him that he finally understood, but it wasn’t long before he realized that this Binghe wasn’t the real one.
And so he decided to explore the dream a little more, hoping to find his Binghe.
He traversed each space.
In one, he was a statue, and Luo Binghe cried onto him, pulling on his robes and begging for him to come out of hibernation, only for the statue to crumble under the weight of him. Shen Yuan grimaced.
In another, it was where Luo Binghe had successfully brought him home and kept him there. Shen Yuan could see shackles over his arms and legs, with a ring on his wedding finger made of immortal binding cables so he couldn’t use his spiritual energy to move around. Tears came out of his eyes, but his face remained stoic. Beside him on the ground was Luo Binghe, crying into his thigh, and next to him a plate of freshly cooked food.
“Please, shizun. You may ignore this disciple, but don’t ignore your needs. Please just eat. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Shen Yuan looked back up at his face again. Without spiritual energy, he could not practice inedia and needed to eat like any other mortal.
Shen Yuan decided to run away from such a sad dream and went deeper.
The next dream looked… okay enough for Shen Yuan to look through. It was Binghe, a statue of Shen Yuan standing on each side of the throne he sat on. But it was the statues that Luo Binghe had made. Shen Yuan looked around him to see where the real him was, but it seemed he was nowhere.
Shen Yuan sighed and turned back to the scene surrounding him.
Luo Binghe snapped his fingers, and the statues came to life. And instantly, in a rather distorted voice that resembled Shen Yuan’s, they started tending to Luo Binghe’s every whim, giving him comfort and love—though Luo Binghe didn’t feel satisfied.
“That real Shizun of yours doesn’t truly love you. He ran away with his sect brother, remember!? So why do you still love him!” one of them preened.
“Must you always ignore us for him? Didn’t he ignore you for everyone else? Why won’t you look at us? We love you—only you, you forever,” the other cajoled.
Luo Binghe looked furious. Then that fury simmered down to happiness, then happiness deflated into sadness.
Shen Yuan decided to walk away once more.
Soon, he found what he was looking for.
It was a curtained door.
As Shen Yuan brushed the soft fabric back, he saw a child—the white lotus he had missed. He was crying. Of course he was crying.
Shen Yuan kneeled in front of the boy and lifted his chin with his fan. The young Luo Binghe grabbed this fan and held it like a vice. He looked up and saw it was Shen Yuan and finally let it go. He looked at him in disbelief.
“S-H-Shizun!”
He pounced on the older man and held him tight.
“Shizun! I’m sorry! I never wanted to keep you here. I should've known you had better things to do than stay with me. I'm so, so, so sorry,” he muttered between sobs.
Shen Yuan patted the boy’s back and held him tightly.
“Binghe, don’t talk about yourself like that,” Shen Yuan warned. “This master… this master should’ve paid more attention to you. I should be the one apologizing for not noticing your… advances.”
Luo Binghe sprang up like a bunny from its burrow.
“Y-you know now!?”
Shen Yuan nodded.
“I do, so won’t you come out of that state and turn into my Binghe?”
Luo Binghe was red on impact.
“Y-your Binghe?”
Shen Yuan nodded and made a motion with his hands that meant go on.
In an instant, Shen Yuan was suddenly overwhelmed by the weight on top of him as Luo Binghe decided to tackle him in another hug.
When Shen Yuan decided to return, “Luo Binghe… this… this master understands that I haven’t been paying much attention to his disciple’s needs and, I can feel it poking me” Luo Binghe smiled slyly. When The two woke up Shen Yuan, thankfully could not feel the soreness in his hips but Luo Binghe’s heavenly pillar was truly finally satisfied.
They looked outside, and the clouds were gone and the birds were chirping, and Shen Yuan sighed. This is as it should be.
Though just before he could relax, Luo Binghe decided to hug him from behind and begged into his neck, “Shizun, this lowly one’s needs are being ignored.”
Shen Yuan really couldn’t take the lack of shame this mutt had. “Let me rest!”
Luo Binghe, in puppy fashion, pouted and sat back on the bed and decided to tear up again.
Shen Yuan sighed and went over to pat the puppy’s head.
“Binghe… I’m not gonna acknowledge your needs today, but!” he added in quickly before Binghe could burst into tears. “But I’d like for me to… to understand you better, so that means no hinting at things, okay?”
Binghe nodded furiously. “This one promises Shizun! As long as Shizun stops talking to those other demons.”
Shen Yuan was taken aback. “And why can’t I speak to them?”
“Because they’re just like me, aren’t they? And if they are, then what's the point? They seem a lot more impressive though, too.”
Shen Yuan sighed.
“You are my only Binghe. There might be many just like you, but you are the only one who acts and cries like Binghe. You understand?”
Binghe went straight into tears this time tackling Shen Yuan and ripping off his clothes “SHIZUUN!!!!” And all Shen Yuan could do was shed a tear and mourn for his ass.