Chapter Text
Before Magnus knows what’s happening, Taako is crying.
He’s a bit spooked, seeing the bite on his lover’s ankle, and because he’s seen hardly a fraction of emotion from Taako yet, he isn’t exactly sure how to handle it.
Magnus rushes forward to where Taako sits, perched on the countertop, his leg outstretched, and he’s crying quietly, but Magnus can see the heaving sobs in his chest he’s not allowing himself to exhale. Immediately, he places his arms around Taako, setting the gun down on the counter next to them, and Taako feels broken in his arms, wheezing and babbling about cutting his leg off.
Magnus just holds him, letting the tears fall to his shoulders, letting Taako yell at him for not checking as he should, for having sex in such a public place that would make them distracted and make something like this happen, lets him apologize quickly and earnestly with no words in exchange, holding him close.
Once Taako has quieted, Magnus pulls back at bit, and rolls Taako’s pant leg up to look at the bite. Taako clears his throat. “We have to cut my leg off,” he insists again, his voice sounding a bit shaky but still with that Taako confidence, everpresent.
“I obviously can’t make that decision for you, but I would have to do it, and I’ve never cut off someone’s leg before, and we only have two small knives,” Magnus points out, and Taako immediately glances away, looking somewhere else, and Magnus can see fresh tears welled in his eyes.
Looking at anywhere but Magnus’ face, he begins to sputter, “Magnus, y-”
Interrupting him, because Magnus is positive if he tried to chop off Taako’s leg, he would kill him, he says, “we should clean it, right?” Magnus asks, and Taako nods quietly, his eyes red. Magnus crossed the room, redresses, and finds Taako’s pack on the floor, withdrawing his medical kit.
In the pack, Taako only has gauze, bandages, a small package of painkillers, and neosporin, so they use some water with a strip of cloth to clean the bite (Magnus desperately wishes they had rubbing alcohol or some kind of cleansing agent) and then wrap it up with bandages. As Magnus does so, Taako complacent on the countertop, he knows in his heart there would be no way to keep him alive if they’d gone the ‘cutting the limb off’ approach, seeing how there’s barely enough bandages to completely dress Taako’s wound. Rolling his pant leg down to cover it, Magnus looks up at Taako’s face, trying to read his expression.
He’s steeled, in the time that it took to wrap up his ankle, and he looks less sad now, he looks… determined, like he’s not accepting the bite that had just occurred. Clearing his throat, Magnus lets his hand linger on Taako’s leg, trying to comfort him. “Feeling okay?” he asks, softly.
Taako nods, looking into the distance. “Sure. We should keep going.”
And so they do, packing up their stuff and making sure to actually scout out the store, finding a good supply of food for them, as well as some more medical supplies and bandages to redress Taako’s wound in the future. Taako’s limping as they do so, not putting a lot of pressure on his leg, and Magnus can just see the tension in his face and his body as he walks around, clutching the sides of shelves to steady himself. Luckily, Magnus finds a display with a cylinder filled with umbrellas for sale, and takes one out to offer it to Taako as a cane.
When he does so, handing the umbrella to Taako, he sees Taako’s face twist up, and Magnus retracts his hand for a moment. “Is there something wrong?” he asks worriedly.
“No, no… Sorry. Thank you. It’s, uh, just that my sister always had an umbrella with her. Thank you, Magnus,” he says, avoiding Magnus’ eyes but seeming genuine in his words, and Magnus’ heart twists, thinking of his own sister.
It’s still fresh in his mind, the way she looked hanging from that clothesline in town. She was so young. Why does he get to keep on living when she doesn’t? It’s not fair. But this new thing he had gained with Taako, learning to defend himself, learning to accept love in the way that Taako has given to him, has changed his life immensely in such a short time. But where does this bite factor into that?
Taako’s going to die. He doesn’t look it now, and that’s partially because of how recent the bite is, but Magnus has seen this happen time and time again to people like Taako, people who live outside of walls. But he supposes nobody is safe in this world, regardless of if you stay in communities or not. He just always thought the scrounger life would be lonely, but he’s felt more alive and more human than he ever has the past two days with Taako. But what will Magnus do without him? He can’t lose Taako -- the words that tumbled out of his mouth when he came were not just spur of the moment but true, he loves the elf before him with everything in him, loves the way he slips on his headphones to his Walkman when he doesn’t feel like talking, loves the way he keeps his hair in braids, loves the way he is confident and snarky in everything. He doesn’t want to lose that - he can’t lose that, the way he feels about Taako.
And in a more realistic sense, where will he go? He can’t go back to Phandalin, at least not by himself. He doesn’t feel confident in his lone-wanderer abilities, relying on Taako to kill most of the walkers they come across, to take the lead. His legs feel shaky as Taako and him prepare to leave the store, looking at the streets before them. There are a few stragglers, and Taako hands him a knife, arming himself with the other one as well as his wand. Already, he looks tired, resting with the umbrella as a cane, slumping a bit against the wall. He looks up at Magnus, and Magnus is surprised to see his eyes, looking tired and worn-down. “Ready?” he asks.
Magnus is ready, sure, but he doesn’t know that Taako is. “Where are we going?” he asks, tentatively. Taako’s brow furrows.
“Our plan wasn’t just coming to this store -- there are tons of abandoned shops on this street here we can look through. It’d be a waste if we didn’t,” he persists, that constant abrasiveness and confidence comforting Magnus, familiar to him.
Stepping forward a bit, Magnus nods, and leans down, his face just a couple inches from Taako’s face. Before him, the elf is wearing a stunned expression, their lips almost brushing. For courtesy, Magnus asks, “Can I kiss you?”
Taako’s nodding quickly, so Magnus dips and connects their lips, easily. Taako kisses back with some kind of desperation that makes Magnus’ heart feels like it’s dropping to his stomach, and then he pulls back, his hands still on Magnus’ face, keeping him in place. Their eyes connect and it’s making Magnus want to cry to see Taako like this, bare and vulnerable and scared. “I…” he starts, and then pauses, stopping himself, before opening his mouth again. “I love you, too,” he says simply.
He just brings Taako to his chest, hugging him tightly, and the elf seems to immediately collapse into it, hugging Magnus back, and he’s quiet, not crying anymore, but he’s colder than usual, and that worries Magnus, the back of his head screaming at him to get Taako to a medic. But there isn’t much to do, and he thinks both him and Taako know that.
Seeming to read his mind, Taako laughs, but it’s dry, constructed. “Listen, Maggie, I couldn’t turn if I tried. I’m, like, the opposite of a walker,” he jokes, and Magnus laughs along with him, but his heart is heavy.
They go into one shop. And then another. Taako’s bite just seems to make him even more ballsy, and he is unafraid diving into the stores and shops, blasting zombies with Magic Missiles and flames. Magnus even takes the lead on some of them, kicking doors down with his strong legs and using the pistol and blade to take down any resident walkers. They have a fairly good haul already, Taako’s pack fairly weighed down, but as they start walking to the last shop, Taako stumbles, falling hard onto the pavement. He yells out when he does, and Magnus immediately scrambles to help him up.
He’s gasping in pain, and when Magnus asks why he fell, his face seems to twist, in frustration. “I… I don’t know. I just felt… unsteady,” he replies, using Magnus’ broad frame to steady himself and stand.
Automatically, and because it’s been on his mind for the whole time they scavenged, Magnus suggests, “we should go to a compound. Maybe back to Leilon? I think you should see a medic.”
Almost immediately, Taako is shaking his head in denial, even laughing at Magnus’ suggestion. “No compounds. I don’t want to die like a dog in a cage,” he says, and it sounds like he meant to be malicious, but it comes out soft, his voice breaking in the middle.
Instead, they walk to one of Taako’s safe spots, a corner of the junkyard they practiced in earlier that day. It's just a little fenced-in area with some walls and even a roof, decorated shabbily but nicely. He has scavenged, presumably from this very junkyard: a small bed, a wooden chair, and there’s a shelf in the corner of the room, holding things - things that are not valuable or useful enough to take with him, but things that Taako treasures. On that shelf, there is a framed picture of Taako and someone else-- Magnus can only guess it is Lup, a picture from before the outbreak. They look so young and so beautiful and so similar, Magnus could almost swear it was two Taakos, but in the picture, Lup has an undercut, and her hair is red at the end. She looks fiery, just as fiery as Taako’s personality is.
When they arrive at this place, Taako almost immediately collapses on the edge of the bed, and he looks feverish, his hands shaking as he stares at the ground below them. The sun is setting, and the “door," a part of the wall that opens as a gate, is open, showing the orange sky above them. “You feeling okay?” Magnus asks, sitting down gingerly on the bed next to Taako, putting a hand on his shoulder in comfort.
Taako nods, looking at his hands, and then looking at Magnus. His face is blank, unmoving. “Let me show you something,” he says, and stands up with the help of the umbrella he’s been using as a cane. Magnus steadies him, a hand around his waist. He gestures to a little ladder that leads to a trapdoor in this shelter’s roof, and Magnus looks at him quizzically. “I’m gonna need a little of your help to lift me up there, but you’re a big guy. You won’t die.”
So they climb to the roof through Taako’s little handmade opening, Magnus lifting Taako easily above him and supporting him as they climb. When they reach the top, Taako sits on the roof, gesturing for Magnus to sit next to him.
The view from here is breathtaking: they’re not too far up, but far enough to see across the junkyard, a painfully beautiful display of evidence of the messy, apocalyptic world they live in. And above them is the sky-- never taking a moment to slow down in its beauty, some clouds floating like wisps over a colorful, orange-pink sunset. The temperature begins to chill, and Magnus throws an arm around Taako, helping to warm him. He’s still shivering.
“It’s beautiful,” Magnus says softly, looking up at the display above them. “Thank you for showing me.”
Thank you for everything, he wants to say.
They are quiet for a moment. “I… I want to kiss you while I still can,” Taako gets out, and now Magnus feels like crying, but he shifts his head, leaning forward to kiss Taako. He feels different, less panicked and desperate than before, but his body has a chill about him that is almost eerie, his lips colder than Magnus remembers them being. Still, it’s Taako, his tongue fast and lips careful, and Magnus smiles sadly into the kiss, wondering which one will be their last.
When Magnus pulls back, he takes a minute to look at Taako’s appearance. They don’t have long. Turning doesn’t take more than a day, usually less, and Taako is small, the disease spreading quickly in his body, his words quiet, his movements slow. Every ten minutes he goes dizzy, having a hot flash and his vision going white before he gains clarity again. It freaks Magnus out, but the alternative freaks him out even more.
When the sky goes dark, they carefully drop back into Taako’s shelter, Taako sitting on the bed again, and he holds his pack in his lap, and Magnus’ stomach turns over, feeling out-of-depth and nervous. Taako clears his throat. “You know how much I hate walkers, right, Magnus?” he asks, his speech slow.
Magnus nods. “Yeah, sure.”
“Well… I don’t want to turn, when I go. I can’t become one of them.”
His stomach knotting, Magnus nods again. He can feel tears start to fill his eyes.
“Magnus, would you do me the honor of…” but Magnus is already sobbing, his eyes wet and hot, and he’s grabbing for Taako’s hand. It’s still Taako’s hand, but the comfort is almost gone -- they are cold like ice, and although Taako smiles at him, he feels like he’s the one dying, not the elf in front of him. Taako reaches out and brushes a tear from his cheek. It’s gentle, loving. “No, no, no, none of that. Would you please do the honor of taking care of me? Making me… not turn?”
He’s not an idiot. He knows what Taako’s asking. He’s been thinking about it all day, and it has eclipsed, slapping him in the face. "I can't," he says, finally voicing how he feels, the pent up emotions inside of him. "I can't do this without you, Taako."
But Taako is not having it. He looks at Magnus, confident, their eyes connecting. Taako's hands are on his shoulders, keeping him there. "Yes you can. I know you can. And you have to. For me. For Rose. For Lup. You've gotta go on."
He nods, tears almost overtaking him again, but he feels like a little kid, wanting to just shrug off the responsibility, wanting to crawl into this bed and weep.
Taako gives him his pack, still filled with the items they found today, and still with Taako’s weapons and supplies in it. When Magnus withdraws the pistol from the bag, he starts to give Taako back his bag, but Taako pushes it towards him. “You keep it. It will help you,” he insists, and Magnus nods, stowing the bag at his feet.
Looking at the elf on the bed in front of him, Magnus feels a pang in his chest again. He has stopped crying, but just barely, and he does not know how Taako is so calm in front of him, so confident in the face of death. One last time, Magnus dips down, his face just close to Taako, and kisses him, sweet and simple, everything Magnus wishes their life could be together.
He lifts the pistol, just like Taako had shown him, aiming at the space on his forehead between his eyes. Taako’s eyes are open, looking at him, and he’s looking at Magnus with so much fearlessness and love that it makes Magnus want to be fearless, too. And he does it, pulling the trigger and watching Taako fall limp in front of him.
There are no tools to dig a grave, what Magnus thinks Taako deserves, but after wandering for a while in the dark junkyard, he finds a metal box just large enough for an elf to fit in, and lifts him into the box, closing it behind him.
Returning to the small shelter, Magnus collects his and Taako’s things. On a final thought, he grabs the picture of Taako and Lup from the nearby shelf, stowing it away. He slips on Taako’s headphones, and walks out of the junkyard, into the night.