Chapter Text
He was getting a little sloppy about maintaining his secrecy, and he knew it.
But there was a real possibility that Deku wanted him, so his fucks were slowly evaporating. It helped that Denki and Eijirou seemed so fucking sure about it.
The first real bold moment was the first time he posted an original picture. It was Deku flailing to keep from falling as he sprinted through the UA halls.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Watching Deku trying to get from point A to point B is often like watching a baby dear learn how to run
The second was Deku at his lunch table with a leaf stuck in his hair. He'd fallen through a tree during training.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I wish my hand were that leaf. I'm so fucking jealous of that shitty little leaf.
His tweets were starting to sound more like himself, too.
Then, there was the Big Three demonstration for the first years. He, Deku, and Ponytail were scheduled to work with the little twerps all day.
Katsuki talked to them about the importance of honing their combat sense and had them practice hand-to-hand on each other so they could predict each others' movements.
Ponytail talked to them about the dangers of second-guessing yourself. It was pretty cool, watching her point out where their moves faltered as they sparred.
Then Deku had talked about the importance of knowledge in a fight. Nerd.
But he wasn't wrong, and he demonstrated by kicking each first-year's ass in under a minute.
Katsuki calmly reminded himself that getting horny in front of the rugrats was a bad idea when Deku threw an entire first year out of the stadium over the stands.
So fucking strong.
He tweeted it then and there, while Deku was distracted.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I just saw Deku throw an entire first year out of the training stadium, *over* the bleachers. Throw "me* Deku. Throw me. Lemme have it.
That was his boldest move yet. Not many people would have seen that.
But he didn't have to worry, because as intelligent as Deku was, he was also denser than the fucking Earth's core.
When they got back to the locker room, Deku did a fucking striptease with his uniform and Katsuki jolted, knee jerking and smacking hard into the bench.
Deku's sex appeal was literally injuring him now.
Fantastic.
"Kacchan! Are you okay?" Deku asked, adorably worried.
"Tripped, nerd, fuck off," he hissed, gripping his knee. If he got any closer, Deku would see his 'Deku just stripped in front of me' boner. No fucking thanks.
"Are you sure?"
"Fuckin' obviously!" he growled, curling to hide his dick from Deku's worried, searching eyes. His concern would end up being his downfall if he wasn't careful.
He was blushing. He could feel it. Deku was stripped down to his boxers, who could blame him?
"Okay! I'm gonna take a shower and I—" then he went silent.
"And what, Deku?" Katsuki snapped, still not looking at him and clutching his throbbing knee. "Don't go space-nerd mid-conversation, dork!"
"Sorry, I'll meet you at the dorm," he muttered. Then kept muttering.
He only caught bits and pieces. "...inappropriate...Midnight...dating Ectoplasm—"
"Deku, what the fuck are you talking about?" he finally snapped, curiosity winning out.
"That stan account is someone at the school," he said a little louder. "They saw me throw that first-year out of the stadium. I mean, it could have been one of the first years, but that side of Field Beta is visible from outside the Beta Lockers and the top three floors of the southwest side of the main campus. That's a lot of people."
Katsuki stared at him incredulously.
"You're an idiot," he grumbled eventually, shaking his head in disbelief. "Take the fucking shower, stupid. I'm not letting you in my kitchen if you smell like the sweat and tears of incompetent fourteen-year-old extras."
"Yeah, okay," Deku muttered, not really listening. Then his head snapped up to frown at him. Katsuki rolled his eyes. "What do you mean your kitchen?" he demanded.
Katsuki glowered at him. Was Deku questioning his supreme reign over the kitchen? The audacity. "It's mine."
"It's a communal kitchen," he said seriously.
Katsuki bared his teeth. "*Mine.*"
The thing about Deku that always got him was how insanely forgiving the nerd was.
It was like he was campaigning for sainthood or some shit. Even the ridiculous petty crap that had virtually no meaning couldn't be drawn out for long.
Which is why on Friday, the designated class movie night, Deku caved to Pinky and Floaty's pouting after a grand total of two days of pouting.
Two days. Not exactly the 'ban' they'd been threatened with.
So now, he was in the kitchen making his mom's cinnamon hot chocolate.
The girls came out of the kitchen with full mugs and wide smiles, snuggling into each other on the couch and taking a sip and posing with their ridiculous whipped cream mustaches.
He was surrounded by fucking dorks. From every goddamn angle.
Katsuki saw Mina fiddling with her phone and immediately pulled out his.
@/PinkyTheeAlien: Success! We knew he wouldn't deprive us of his magic hot chocolate for long 🥰
He waited a moment before QRTing. He might be obvious, just not that obvious.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I would pay money for him to make me hot chocolate and let me spoon him.
Denki QRTed him a second later. Did he have Katuski's tweets on alert?
@/Chargebolt: Would you be the big spoon or the little spoon? 😏😏
Katsuki sent him a very subtle middle finger, but only succeeded in summoning him closer.
"Fuck you."
"Gimme your phone, I have a present for you."
Katsuki squinted at him. "I don't trust you."
Denki shrugged. "Fair. But I think you'll like it."
Apprehensive, Katsuki handed Denki the phone and watched him fiddle with it.
He didn't really notice that his apprehension was making his palms sweat a little more than normal.
When Denki turned his phone back around, he was greeted by a lockscreen of the brightest smile he'd ever seen—so wide that Deku's eyes had practically disappeared.
He detonated.
Again.
"Woah, take it easy super-simp!" Denki teased.
Katsuki lunged at him, accidentally knocking the phone out of his hand as he attempted to tackle the other blonde as he twisted out of the way with a cackle.
He heard Deku enter the room, talking to Eijirou.
He heard Eijirou try to explain what was happening.
"He probably just set it to Russian or something," the idiot shark-boy said dismissively.
Here's the thing. Once Denki stopped trying to break into his phone without permission, he'd allowed himself to start getting lock screen notifications again. Because no one else tried to mess with his phone. And he wanted to know when someone sent him a new photo of Deku as soon as it happened.
So yeah, he was a simp. He just didn't like hearing it out loud. Sue him.
He had regrets now.
"Oh," Deku said, moving toward the abandoned phone. "I'll just change it back for him," he said.
Katsuki stopped cold, spinning on his heel and short-circuiting.
"Dude, wait—" Kirishima tried.
"FUCK NO! I'LL DO IT MYSELF, NERD!" he bellowed.
He was about three seconds too late.
Deku was staring at his own face on the lock-screen. Denki had gone still too, clearly not expecting this to have gone down. Eijirou looked...horrified.
Deku didn't look anything. He looked completely blank.
Katsuki felt cold. From his toes to his fingertips and in the pit of his stomach.
Deku was staring at Katuski's phone, and Katsuki didn't know what he wanted to do about it.
Option one was to blow up his phone, but that seemed like closing the barn door after the horse.
Option two was to blow up Deku, and that was pretty stupid considering that he'd have some trouble romancing dismembered body parts.
Option three was to blow himself up. Deku probably wouldn't like that. Neither would his classmates. Also that was dumb.
Option four was to run the fuck away, but he wasn't a coward, fuck you.
Then, Katsuki heard his notifications chiming quietly, and the pit of anxiety got even denser, weighing him down and rooting him to the spot.
He had no idea what the notifications said, but he assumed that they were from his thirsty-ass side account, and Deku was getting a full fucking blast of evidence that he was horny as fuck and madly in love with him.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Deku kept staring. Silently. Completely blank and totally still.
Then, finally:
"Kacchan? What—" he cut off, swallowing. He didn't take his eyes off the screen.
Fuck, he was freaked out. Of course he was, Katsuki was probably the last person he wanted this shit from.
Fuck, Denki and Eijirou were wrong. Fuck.
"Fuck, Deku, don't freak out," he uttered, voice a little warped from panic.
Deku looked up at him, squinting as though he were trying to solve a particularly sadistic calculus problem.
"I can't," he said, looking confused as fuck. "I don't know what's going on."
Eijirou, who had been holding his hand out to Katsuki like he was a spooked horse or some shit, dropped his arm and turned to his idiotic green bean. "You don't? Seriously?" he asked incredulously.
Katsuki concurred with his confusion.
"What's going on?" Floaty asked, reminding him of their fucking audience. She was still cuddled up next to Mina. He'd have to address that at some point.
"I don't know," Deku repeated himself.
"Dude, I swear to god," Kaminari whined. "You're the smartest guy in this class, you can't be this—"
"Shut up, Zapdos," Katsuki snapped, elbowing him as hard as he possibly could. Zapdos complied. "Deku?" he asked hesitantly. He looked like his brain was gonna overheat.
Deku tilted his head like a fucking puppy and despite his overwhelming urge to run away, his fucking soul melted a little. "Are you?"
Oh. Oh, he'd figured it out. Okay. Fuck.
"Yeah."
"You're FuckMeUpDeku," he stated aloud for the entire room to hear.
"Yeah," Katsuki said again, this time raising a fucking chorus of dramatic gasps from the peanut gallery. Fucking dorks.
"You're what?" Mina screamed like a fucking banshee. He flinched but didn't take his eyes off Deku.
"Okay," he said, nodding absently. "Why?"
Katuski frowned. What did he mean, 'why'?
"The fuck do you mean, why?" he demanded, completely lost.
Deku raised his eyebrows like he was surprised at the question. Like he thought Katsuki was a little dense. "The analysis I get," he said slowly like he was talking to a toddler. "But why pretend to be into me?"
Katsuki went rigid. There was that bone-deep irritation again. How fucking nice.
"Dude," Eijirou groaned. Katsuki was glad that he wasn't the only one exasperated.
"The fuck do you mean pretend?" he demanded, ire burning. Why the fuck would he pretend to like him?
Deku flinched back. "I mean...you don't—you can't?"
He can't? Can't what? Be into the most precious motherfucker to ever grace their hemisphere?
Deku couldn't possibly be this dense. But as he continued to flounder and Katsuki's frustration grew, he realized that he didn't really have anything else to lose.
"How are you this fucking stupid," he growled. "Hey, Cheeks!" He rounded on Uraraka, who flinched so hard that she sloshed Hot Chocolate down her shirt. Disaster. "Cards on the fuckin' table. Does he like me?"
"Uhhhh," she uttered dumbly, blinking at him in shock.
"Yes or no, Floaty!" he barked.
She stalled for another second. Then: "No." His stomach sank. "That's too mild a word." And just like that, it was buoyant again. "He...worships you."
He fuckin' knew that! That wasn't helpful.
"Old news," he said, rolling his eyes. "I meant romantically."
She nodded sagely. "Yeah, he romantically worships you," she said.
A grin spread across his face, even as Deku shouted, "Ochako!" in betrayal.
"It's not my fault you're dense!" she yelled right back.
His feet were moving on their own, carrying him to Deku hastily.
Luckily, he knew what to do when he got there.
He planted his hands (which were probably a little too warm to be strictly safe) on either side of Deku's stupid, perfect face, and pulled it up as he leaned down.
They met in the middle and Katsuki devoured him. Deku's lips were so damn soft, except in that one place where he always bit it when he was thinking.
It kept catching against his own, and it was driving him nuts. He wanted to kiss him forever—until their lips fucking eroded.
Then, he noticed Deku wasn't kissing back. He pulled away.
"If you don't kiss me back in the next ten seconds, I'm never kissing you again, motherfucker," he snapped, a little breathless and overwhelmed.
That worked. He leaned back down and this time, Deku met him halfway.
If kissing Deku felt good when he wasn't kissing back, it was practically a drug overdose when he did.
Katsuki swore he felt himself fucking transcend. Then Deku's arms wound around his waist and Katsuki thought he was gonna vibrate out of his fucking skin. Or collapse.
Eventually, he pulled back again and had to stop himself from dragging Deku back to his room like a caveman. His eyes were glassy and his mouth was all swollen and red and he was blushing and Katsuki wanted to ruin him. Lovingly, of course. "You good nerd?"
"You like me?" he uttered disbelievingly. Katsuki wanted to smack his head into a brick wall. "Me?"
"Yes, you, you idiotic broccoli bitch boy," he snarled. "It's like talking to a rock, I swear."
"A very hot rock!" Mina chipped in. He concurred.
"A hot rock who you love!" Uraraka shrieked. "You said it like fifty times! No take-backs!"
He scowled. "Why the fuck would I take it back!"
"Well you said he was smart," she said. "But he's acting kinda dumb."
She had him there. Still, he wouldn't just change his mind!
He looked back down at Deku, who was just...staring at him. Again. "Uh...you good, Deku?" he asked, shaking his shoulder lightly.
"You love me?!" he yelped. Katsuki wanted to shake him a little harder.
"I don't understand the fuckin' surprise," he sighed.
"But I love you!" he fuckin' wailed, clearly panicked.
Katsuki...was lost. What? Why were those mutually exclusive? "I'm not seeing the problem here, nerd," he said a little desperately. What the fuck was in that dumb skull of his?
"I'm not in your league, Kacchan!"
Katsuki saw red.
"Dude, that was the wrong thing to say—" Eijirou said, grimacing.
"The fuck you aren't asshole! If you weren't in my league, would I waste my time on you?" he demanded, gripping Deku's shoulders and shaking him the way he wanted to—hard and without mercy.
Maybe he'd manage to shake something into that vacant fucking skull!
And it looked like it worked, because Deku's face brightened, just a little. "No," he breathed.
"Would I make a fucking Twitter account to panic about how gay I am for you if I didn't want you?" he snapped.
"Probably not," Deku replied compliantly, finally starting to catch on. He was in love with the densest shithead known to man, good fucking god.
"Right! So if I spend time with you on purpose and I make a dumbass Twitter account that's mostly about how perfect your face is and how much I want to touch your ass?"
Apparently, he'd have to lead this dumb fucking horse to water. Jesus fucking Christ.
Deku blinked once. Then twice. "Oh my god, you love me," he whispered, shellshocked.
"Fuckin' finally," Katsuki groaned, threading his hands into Deku's (angelically soft) hair and dragging him back up for another kiss, biting at his lips enthusiastically.
Deku pulled back this time, and Katuski growled about it. "You tried to bribe Ochako for photos of me."
Katsuki blushed, but before he could say anything, Denki cut in. "He's a simp!" he cried delightedly.
Deku just smiled, still a little disbelieving. "That's okay. I am too," he admitted, eyes searching Katsuki's face. "I made you a gingersnap latte instead of hot chocolate."
Katsuki's heart and lungs and stomach all clenched in unison. "You're the fuckin' best," he replied. Fuck, he was so in love with this dork. Holy crap.
"Are you gonna keep gazing into each other's eyes right in front of my hot chocolate?" Mina snickered.
"This is literally your fault," Katsuki said, still gazing into Deku's eyes, both to spite her but mostly because he wanted to. "Can't complain now."
"Shut the fuck up, Kacchan loves me. Don't ruin it," Deku barked at her.
And here he'd thought he couldn't fall more in love.
"At least come over here and let the poor man spoon you, Deku," Floaty suggested. He had half a mind to kiss her on the fuckin' mouth for suggesting it. "He's been pining for literal years." Nevermind.
"I've been pining for like two years longer than he has," Deku reminded her.
"Not a flex, dude," Eijirou said.
No, but it made him feel better about how utterly gone he was for the nerd. He was already pulling Deku to the couch, and Katsuki pulled Deku down next to him almost reverently—arranging them carefully like he thought he might disappear.
There's no way this was happening, right?
There's no way he was spooning Deku on the couch, soft curls tickling his nose while his arms were wrapped around his waist. This couldn't be real.
Deku snuggled back into him, and Katsuki squeezed him tighter.
His fucking heart. Couldn't. Take this. He must be dying.
"Hey," he whispered as Denki and Mina argued over the movie, pressing a kiss on the tiny space between the back of his ear and his hairline. Deku shivered. Holy fuck this was real.
"Yeah?" Deku whispered back.
Katsuki wound their fingers together. Holy shit, he was holding Deku's hand. This was the best fucking day ever.
He swallowed. "I'm gonna keep thirst tweeting," he admitted. He had to. He couldn't physically contain this.
Deku shot up. "Kacchan, no!"
A week later, and with a myriad of negotiations, Katsuki posted a photo. Mina had taken it for them.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: [Katsuki and Deku, curled together on the couch, Deku pressing a kiss to Katsuki's cheek] I #LetDekuSmash. Follow your fuckin' dreams, extras.
Needless to say, they turned off their notifications for a while. They both needed to lay low.