Chapter Text
"Huh...? And who might you be, little one ?"
Bakugou first thought is that it’s incredibly rude to ask someone’s name out of the blue like that without presenting yourself first. Not that Bakugou gives a fuck, he’s not a model of politeness after all, but it still is pissing him off that whoever-the-fuck-it-is is showing him the same level of condescension he shows to everyone around him on a daily basis. Little one ? Who the fuck is little one ? His name’s Bakugou Katsuki, future number one hero, King Explosion Murder, 1-A Beast and UA’s Feral Prince, not 'little one'.
"Wow. You’re almost as arrogant as me."
Bakugou second thought is what the fuck, because he just went to sleep a few hours ago, he hadn’t open his eyes yet but he’s pretty sure it’s still nighttime and who’s that fucker that’s disrupting his beauty sleep but also, what the fuck, did they just read his mind ?
"Nice deduction skill boyo !"
His third thought is that he doesn’t recognize the voice, and it doesn’t belong to any extras in his class. That has him -finally- trashing in his bed, fiery red eyes open and angry, spine rigid and palms igniting. Distantly, he wonders, why does it always have to be him that gets all the weirdo at his doorstep? He gets that since that stupid sport festival, people don’t hold him very high in the hero material list, but fuck, no is no. He’s not going to become a loser villain that gets zero spotlight and a questionable salary, if Japan’s villain population could give up, he’d be delighted.
The motherfucker in front of him stands tall as shit, white silky hair framing a pale complexion and eyes blue, blue, blue ; Bakugou has never seen eyes like these before and if he wasn’t stressed out by the intrusion, he might have stopped to gaze at them a little bit. Just a little.
"Anw, thanks. I think they’re my best feature too." Pale motherfucker smile get broader. "The name’s Gojo Satoru not... motherfucker. Though if you insist, that can be arranged."
Did this asshole just...?
He must have done a weird face because pale motherfucker laugh at him. Bakugou really, really wants to lunge at the guy right now, punch him around a little bit and show him just who the fuck he’s talking to. He might just do that actually, Bakugou is not pushover, and this asshole has the audacity to break in his room and then fucking insult him.
"Hey you insulted me first."
"You shut the fuck up!"
The thing is, Bakugou’s short on information here, and he’s not an idiot like the rest of the extras, the fucker’s too relaxed to be harmless. His (blue) eyes are fixing his hand curiously too, and it would be understandable, if it was in fear and apprehension. Bakugou is used to people, enemies and allies alike, being weary of the sparks in hands. But this dude looks at him like a scientist looks at a science experiment and fuck that, Bakugou does not like it.
"Who the fuck are you ? How did you get in UA ?"
"Well that’s not a nice way to ask. You looked way cuter asleep, y’know."
"I said-"
"Hey, how are you doing that by the way ? Is that your cursed technique?"
"Don’t interrupt me, asswipe ! And my what ? What the fuck are you talking about ?"
"The boom boom in your palm. Y’know, the cute little fireworks?"
Bakugou seethes. He really is going to throw his caution out of the window and punch the guy square in the nose if he doesn’t stop with his nonsense. Aizawa might throw him a disappointed look over his scarf when he’ll catch wind of this crap, but Aizawa can go fuck himself ; yes, he did progress with reigning in his shitty temper, but that progress doesn’t mean shit if people are just going to be asshole and look down on him.
The dude seem to read his mind ; again.
"Don’t do that kid. I don’t wanna hurt you."
And wasn’t this statement just infuriating.
"Hurt me ? Who the fuck do you think you are anyway, huh ? You come in my room and stare at me like a creep then dare ask fucking questions and act all powerful and shit ? I don’t know how you got in here, but I’ll flatten you any day, you knock off Slenderman fucking prick. So answer me now if you don’t want to go to jail with your stupid hair singed."
Slenderman lost the cheery demeanor, eyes round, and pursed his lips like he just swallowed a lemon. This guy behaved like a cartoon and Katsuki was not amused.
"Creep ? Knock-off Slenderm— ...? Kid, you really are an overconfident meanie, you know that ? Plus, I had actually hoped *you* would know what is happening right now..."
"Huh ? How the fuck should *I* know ? *You’re* the one who broke in there you fuck !"
"But I didn’t, that’s the thing."
This was hell. It was like peeing in a violin. Bakugou was incredibly tired and so fucking confused, he had two hours left before his alarm went off and he didn’t want to waste time with this lunatic any more than he already was. He gritted his teeth. “Well fucking explain then.”
Instead of doing just that, knock-off slenderman - Gojo Satoru ? - looked around his room and started touching his shit like a weirdo, humming loudly every time his hands made contact with something.
And for Bakugou, that was it. This guy was obviously crazy, and UA’s security lacking, he just didn’t want to deal with this shit any longer. “Fucking die !”, he screeched, and the guy had the audacity to raise his eyebrows before smiling as Katsuki blasted him in the face.
Or at least tried to blast him in the face.
It definitely made contact, his explosion having bounced off something and destroyed half of his desk (with his goddamn homework on it), but the man in front of him didn’t have a scratch on him. Hell, he didn’t even move from where he was, didn’t dodge nor protected his stupid face. It’s like he didn’t even feel threatened. “What the fuck ?!” He aimed again, but got the same results. Bakugou was left speechless and even more pissed. Seriously, who the fuck was this guy ?
“Hehehehe, that’s a cool technique, yeah ? It’s called infinity.” Bakugou couldn’t give less of a fuck what that shit was called, he just wanted to know how to get around it so he could kill this asshole. Pale motherfucker giggled and held his hand out. “Gimme your hand kiddo, I’ll show you.”
Katsuki looked at the man in front of him like he spontaneously grew three heads. “No.”
Pale motherfucker pouted. “C’mon, gimme gimme. It’s cool, you’ll see.”
“I said no, I ain’t dumb. And why the fuck aren’t you attacking ?”
“Well I mean... you’re kinda weak. Like I said, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“HAH ? THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ? I’LL SHOW YOU WEAK, PHILADELPHIA, COME AT ME !”
“You didn’t even hurt me there, what’ll you do if I ‘came at you’ ?”
“YOU—“
Someone knocked at the door and Bakugou froze.
“Bakubro, you good ?”
Shit, he didn’t think about Kirishima and the extras when he jumped the guy. Katsuki glared at pale motherfucker. He looked relaxed, his attention fully on him, as if he wasn’t about to get caught red-handed. Then again, Katsuki didn’t succeed at beating the shit out of him, so he could see why he wasn’t impressed. His quirk was tricky too and part of him wanted to tell Kirishima to get Aizawa.
“It’s no use kid, I don’t think they can see me.”
Bakugou startled and furiously shushed the intruder, earning a giggle from the albino.
“THEY CAN’T HEAR ME TOO, I BELIEVE !”
“What the fuck ?!!”
The doorknob of his door moved.
“Bakubro I’m coming in.” Bakugou vaguely registered that Kirishima, indeed, didn’t hear the fucker before the red-haired appeared, brow furrowed in worry. Katsuki saw him almost taking a step back seeing the state of his room, and concerned red eyes found his. He didn’t say anything, and neither did Katsuki, too busy looking between him and the parasite.
He really didn’t see the fucker and that did not please Katsuki at all. Because he was either hallucinating, or the guy had multiple quirk which was not good news because he broke in, or he was a ghost.
“Neeeeeh, wroooong. And what’s a quirk, kid?”
Bakugou didn’t respond (though the question was worrying him even more), sighed and sat on the bed. Kirishima looked like something crawled up his ass and died but he knew his friend won’t say anything before Katsuki. He was great like that, and it wasn’t their first rodeo in the middle of the night.
He was a mess after the sport festival.
“Sorry ‘bout that shitty hair.”
“Nightmare ? Panic attack ?”
He looked briefly at the pale guy (who was now watching the both of them intently).
“No, uh...”
“Angry ?”
“Huh, yeah. Yeah you could fucking say that.”
“Okay... do you need something ? Water ? To talk ? Aizawa ?”
“No, no I’m good. Thanks. Shouldn’t have lashed out like that.”
Kirishima smiled one of his brighter than the sun smile.
“Don’t worry about it, Bakubro !”
And just like that, he left quietly. This, this was why he fucking loved Kirishima with all his heart (not that he’d ever say it to his face). No pushing, no tears, no pity ; just a deep understanding of his boundaries.
The silence he left behind was deafening. Pale motherfucker seemed to have dropped the act, and was now looking at him with scrutiny; Katsuki suspected he had another quirk related to his eyes, because there was something otherworldly about them, something he couldn’t explain.
“You might no be wrong about the otherworldly stuff, kid.”
Katsuki raised an eyebrow at him and Gogo (Goso ? Goto? Fuck he sucked at remembering names) smiled. A genuine one. He sat next to him and Bakugou fucking jumped three meters away from him. He still didn’t trust him.
“It’s Gojo. Gojo Satoru. A few hours ago I was in the middle of Shibuya fighting cursed spirits, then I got sealed in a box and I ‘woke up’ here. I tried to leave, I don’t creep on kids and I was little confused, but I can’t go too far away from you. It’s like we’re bound, you and I. I don’t mean you any harm, but I need you to tell me where I am and what year we are in.”
Normally, Katsuki would call this shit out. It was bullshit, it has to be. But there wasn’t much more explication available and Katsuki decided to humour him.
“We’re in Musutafu, Japan, more precisely at UA, best school for aspiring heroes. The year is 2234 and I think you’re fucking insane.”
Pale motherfucker choked on his own spit. “2234 ?! Aspiring heroes ?! You sure I’m the insane one kid ?”
“Uh, yeah.” Gojo scoffed. “I mean, you just told me you were fighting cursed spirit, got sealed, and got bound to me. What kind of bullshit is that ? More importantly, what kind of loser get sealed ?”
“How is that more important than—? Never mind. It’s not bullshit, it’s the truth. I mean, you saw it yourself, your friend couldn’t see nor hear me.”
He did see it, that’s why he was entertaining this nonsense in the first place.
“Yeah, and ? Could be your quirk.”
“What on earth is a quirk ?”
“What do you mean what’s a quirk ? You have one !”
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you fucking do !”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then what the fuck was that barrier shit you did back then ?”
“Limitless ? It’s my inherited cursed technique.”
“Inherited cursed what? What the fuck is that ?”
“They’re innate cursed technique that can be passed through a bloodline of sorcerers. How do you think I fight cursed spirit, huh ?”
“I don’t think you fucking fight cursed spirit. I think you’re a lunatic who needs a fucking shrink.”
“How is being an exorcist less believable than a school that trained future heroes ?”
Bakugou shot his arm up in the air.
“Because ghosts doesn’t exist you cock!”
Pale motherfucker sighs.
“Alright, we’re going in circle here kiddo. How about you answer my questions and I answer yours ?”
Bakugou stared at him for a few seconds ; this asshole wanted to play 21 questions at three in the morning.
“You— Y’know what ? Fucking fine.”
Gojo beamed.
“Nice ! Okay so, what’re quirks ?”
“They’re superpowers, I guess ? 80 % of the population have ‘em. Mine’s explosion, I can secrete nitroglycerin from my palms and ignite it, basically. The guy that knocked on my door can harden his skin.”
“Hmmmm... And what’s UA ?”
“I fucking told you. A school for heroes.”
“Yeah, but why ?”
“Do the math you dumb shit. Superpowers = increase in shitty criminals that think they’re better than fucking everybody.”
“Oh, so villains ?”
“Yeah.”
“Hm...”
“So, fucking cursed spirits ?”
"Do you always curse that much ?"
"Answer my question asshole !"
"Yes, fucking cursed spirits."
" Like demons ?"
"Yes and no, they're born from negative energy. Sadness, hatred, death..."
"Riight... And so you excorcise them ? As in, you're a fucking excorcist ?"
"That's right ! And you know what ?" Pale motherfucker leaned in and cupped his mouth, as if he was about to tell him the nuclear code. This dude really did behave like a cartoon. Bakugou scooted further away at the head of the bed. "I'm the best of them all!"
"Haaaaah ?"
"Yes, yes. You have the honor to be bound to the great Gojo Satoru himself, strongest sorcerer of this generation." He straightened his spine and held out his arms like a bafoon, almost slapping Katsuki in the face in the process - this guy was a fucking giant ; Bakugou hissed like a cat.
"And yet you got fucking sealed like an idiot."
Gojo deflated with a pout. Bakugou hatred knows no bound right now and he doesn't even know why he entertains this nonsense.
"So, let's say all the shit you spat at me was true, how the hell do I get you away from me ?"
"Well... Good question."
Bakugou didn't like the sound of that at all.
"What the fuck do you mean, good question ?"
"Well, my best theory is that they didn't really seal me, they sent me to another world completely, never to be seen again. But if that was really the case, I'd have a corporeal body, which is not the case..."
"So ?"
Gojo smiled. "So, I don't know. I didn't figure it out yet."
"So, you're going to stay here ?"
"Yes."
"With me ? In my room ?"
Gojo stood up and stretched.
"Yes. You can go back to sleep by the way. Sorry I woke you up."
What. The. Absolute. Fuck. Is this guy for real ? Did he hear himself ? Bakugou didn't think he did.
"Listen dude, I personally think you're batshit crazy and you need fucking help. Now I don't know how or why you got here, but you need to get the fuck out."
Philadelphia scratched his chin pensively while looking at him. He then smiled and put a finger on his forehead ; before Katsuki could react, he felt his consciousness slip away. The last thing he heard was Gojo's voice.
"Let's talk about it tomorrow, kid."