Archive of Our Own

Yaz had no idea where she was going. They’d been walking for about 10 minutes since she’d been blindfolded, that was her best guess anyway. She was trying to keep calm, but that was easier said than done. She just kept thinking about it.

What would the Doctor do?

The Doctor. They’d been together, just exploring what was meant to have been an uninhabited planet. It turns out it was less uninhabited than they thought, and about an hour in they’d been jumped by a gang of masked humans. At least, they looked human, there wasn’t much of a chance to really explore further. Once they had a blindfold around her eyes, it made it pretty difficult to establish anything in the area.

She’d been pulled away. The Doctor had shouted that she would find her, and Yaz believed that she would, but right now she needed to try to do something for herself. 

Then they stopped. Two of the people were holding her in place. There were keys being jangled, then turned in a lock. She was doing her best to listen to them, but they weren’t saying much. Short instructions, minimal clues to tell Yaz anything about who she was with.

She heard the door being opened, then she was being pushed forward. The door shut, and someone removed her blindfold. 

It took her eyes a minute to adjust to the dim light of the room. There was something in the middle - a chair? Sort of a chair anyway. They made her sit on it, strapping her arms in first, and then her head to the back. She made the decision not to fight it, there was no point. The door was closed and locked, there were no other exits, and too many people to get through. 

Deep breaths. Keep calm. Look for an opportunity.

There was some fussing around, then they left. All of them, gone. And the door… disappeared.

Not so helpful for escaping.

Still, nothing seemed to be happening, she was just sitting here. What was going on? 

“Hello? What’s going on here?” Yaz called out to no avail. 

Then a bang. She’d have jumped if she hadn’t been tied down. The lights went out and the room was pitch black. Then a pain, straight through her head. She let out a scream, clenching her eyes tightly as the pain ran straight through her body.

When she opened her eyes again, she was somewhere else. She recognised it, like something from a distant memory. She was outside, definitely not Earth. The sky was red, and there was a tinge of purple to the ground. Yes. Yaz definitely recognised this place. 

“Yaz? There you are! Why do humans always wander off?” 

Yaz spun around. The Doctor, she was here? Why was she here? This didn’t make sense. What was going on?

“S- sorry,” Yaz replied, confused. “Uh, what were we doing?” 

“Exploring! What else? Come on Yaz, we’re wasting time! Sunset’s in 10 minutes.” 

The Doctor grabbed her hand and started running, leaving her with no option but to follow. It was a common occurrence these days - the Doctor grabbing her hand. They were engaging in more and more physical contact, and everytime it left Yaz with a warm feeling inside. 

They ran and ran and then they hit a sort of clifftop. “Here! This is perfect,” The Doctor said. "Oh-" 

Suddenly there was a look of panic in her eyes as they were surrounded by soldiers. “Yaz, run,” she said quietly, her eyes darting towards a small gap in the corner.

Except Yaz knew that even if she made it through, they would quickly block it before The Doctor could get out. “No.” 

“Yaz just go!” she suddenly shouted, pushing her out of the circle of soldiers. Yaz had no choice but to run, and of course the moment she was out they closed the gap, leaving the Doctor trapped.

“Doctor!” she called back in a panic. She couldn’t hear what the soldiers were saying, but they were ignoring her. Then the Doctor was surrounded by some kind of blue light. “No! Doctor! Don’t leave me! Not again!” she cried out as they all vanished, leaving Yaz standing alone in silence. “No! I can’t do this anymore!” 

She stopped to the ground, tears falling, she didn’t even know where they were, or where they’d taken her. She couldn’t do this again, trying to find her, not alone. 

Yaz screamed, dropping to the floor. Then everything fell away, and she was back in that room, strapped to that chair.

What was going on? 

“Let me go!” she shouted, fighting the restraints. “I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve here, but it won’t work! The Doctor will be here soon, just you wait and-” 

Her sentence wasn’t finished, because suddenly the surroundings changed again. She was at home - that wasodd. The flat was empty, and she could hear…

Yaz started running. That was the unmistakable sound of the TARDIS. She wasn’t waiting for the lift, instead she ran down every flight of stairs and kept running until she got down to where the ship had landed. Predictably, a couple of seconds later, the Doctor stuck her head out. 

“Oh, Yasmin, you’re here.”

She looked… angry? 

“Yeah, of course, I live here. Why- what’s going on?” Yaz asked. “Are you okay?” 

Ryan walked out behind her. “Doctor I-” he stopped when he saw Yaz. “Who’s this?” 

“What? Ryan, it’s me, we’re mates?” 

She was starting to panic now. What was going on? 

No. This wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real, but it felt- 

“Oi, where have you both gone?” Graham’s voice. Graham, he was kind and reliable, right? He appeared at the door. “Yasmin, we spoke about this. I told you not to come back.” 

“I don’t understand, why are you all being like this?!” she couldn’t help the tears. The way the Doctor was looking at her, it was hate. 

“Just go home, Yasmin. We’ve got things to do. Didn’t even mean to land here. Let’s get back inside, gang,” she turned around. Both Ryan and Graham went back inside the TARDIS.

“Doctor, no, what’s going on? Why are you being like this?” 

“You let me down, Yasmin Khan. Go home, and don’t come near me again,” she told her, walking inside and shutting the door.

Yaz ran at the TARDIS. “Come on, let me in, you know me! I don’t know what’s going on, but everything’s messed up. Don’t let her leave me again, don’t leave me here,” she pulled and pushed at the doors, but instead of opening the ship simply dematerialised in front of her. 

Another scream, another drop to the floor. She’d done this before, it was-

Back in the room, Yaz opened her eyes and looked at the empty walls. This was torture, they were torturing her. Every bad dream or fear of being left by The Doctor, and they were playing it to her, and it all felt real.

I just need to remember. I have to remember it isn’t real.

It kept going. On, and on. Everytime it got worse. The Doctor throwing her out of the TARDIS, abandoning her on a planet, letting them take her. 

She was tired. There was sweat dripping off her cheek, mixed with tears of upset and anger. And everytime it took away a bit of that hope that The Doctor would save her.

No. I have to keep believing. I can’t-

“DOCTOR NO!” She was flung back into another simulation. 

It’s not real, it’s not-

“Doctor!” 

The alien was lying on the floor. They were in a… cell? Maybe. She was hurt, there was blood, she was in pain. But Yaz couldn’t get to her. “Doctor, please! Wake up!” 

There was a wall of glass between them. Yaz ran at it, hands pressed up against it. “Doctor! It’s me, it’s Yaz, you’re going to be fine, we’ll get out of here.” 

“Too… late,” came weak words from the blonde. “Too late for me.” 

“No,” Yaz banged her hand against the glass. “No, you can’t! You can’t go! ” 

“You’ll be… fine, Yasmin Khan. Smart human like you, just fine,” she said between breaths. 

“Doctor no! Don’t leave me!” 

The Doctor pushed herself up to a seated position, holding a wound with one hand. She looked Yaz straight in the eyes. “But I am, Yasmin.” 

“No. No! I love you, you can’t leave!” She shouted, but then the Doctor fell back. She was dead.

Then everything went black. 

A laugh. Deep, endless, mocking. Yaz felt herself come around, it was different to the previous times, and her chest was aching from crying. 

“Who’s there? Who are you?” she asked. Her throat hurt, she’d been screaming.

The Doctor. 

“Don’t leave me Doctor don’t leave me,” came a mocking voice behind her. Yaz looked around, but there was nobody there. “Oh you are so much fun! Your Doctor is not coming to save you now, Yasmin Khan. And I can keep playing with your head as long as I want.” 

“What do you want from me?” Yaz scowled. 

Another laugh. “Entertainment. So much longing in that little head of yours, so much want for affection from your little Doctor. I could do this forever. And now the revelation you love her too?! Oh what fun I can have.”  

“You won’t have forever,” Yaz replied, trying to sound confident.

“She’s right, you know.” 

The Doctor. Her voice, that was her. Was it real? No. Another simulation. 

Then out of the blackness, she appeared. “How-” 

“Did I get in here?” The Doctor finished Yaz’s sentence. “They never locked the door,” she shrugged. “Come on, let’s go,” she walked over and soniced the straps around Yaz’s arms. 

Yaz didn’t move. “No.. it’s a trap, it’s the same again, you’re going to leave and I’ll be alone again and I can’t do that! I can’t!”

The Doctor grabbed her hands. “Yaz, it’s me, I promise it’s me. I’m not leaving you. Everything before, it was a simulation, they were messing with your thoughts and feelings. This, now, this is you and me.” 

“But you- no…” Yaz ran to the corner of the room. 

She came over, crouching down beside her. “You’re safe now,” she spoke calmly, lovingly. “Let me take you back to the TARDIS, you can rest there.” 

“But the person, they were talking, they were-” 

“They’re gone. Trust me, they won’t fight, they’ll find a new toy to play with, it’s easier for them than fighting me,” she told her. “Come with me Yaz, you’re safe now.” 

“You won’t leave me?” Yaz asked wearily.

“Not even for a second,” The Doctor promised.

Finally Yaz let her assist her getting up. She leant on the Doctor all the way back. Nothing stopped them, nobody got in the way. None of it made sense, except being back with her.

When they got back, the Doctor put them in flight and then took Yaz to her bedroom. Yaz could feel herself shaking still, but she let herself be guided to the bed and lay down. “Stay with me, please,” she practically begged. 

Without an argument, the Doctor removed her boots and jacket, lying down on the bed beside her. “You can rest now, I won’t leave. I promise.” 

Yaz lay beside her. “How much did you hear in there?” she asked, realising she had no idea when the Doctor had got into the room. 

A moment of silence. 

“I love you too, Yaz.”