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Dave Strider's having a case of the good ole' nocturnal enuresis. Karkat gets him some needed protection
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just two guys being dudes being moirails and smooching a little by MisPronounce_and_MisAccent
Fandoms: Homestuck
12 Apr 2021
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DAVE: yeah id be down
DAVE: just two guys being dudes being moirails and smooching a little im not opposed
DAVE: if youre cool with that
A few options flit across your mind. The first is picking up the couch cushion next to you and screaming into it for a solid minute. The next is just screaming, sans-pillow. The third is, of course, throwing in the towel and flinging yourself off the meteor, because it is abundantly fucking apparent that you possess an inherent incapability to maintain any simple, good relationship without getting your feelings in a bullshit fucking twist.
You decide to do none of this.
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ROSE: No, I do believe I’ve devised the best course of action.
VRISKA: You’ve devised the literal w8rst course of action!
ROSE: So it is settled, then.
ROSE: I will ask Kanaya to be my fake girlfriend
ROSE: And I will win being gay.
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TG: like nevermind how many people would get their tits blown clean off by hot lady dave im leaving a bodycount not in terms of sex im all monogamous with my man ya know but dead body count
TG: tits littered across the floor again from being obliterated by the sexiness of trans me its a warzone out here
dave and rose talk gender
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TG: like full fem lady woman person
TG: thats not who karkat fell in love with
TG: and im already waiting for the dude to look over and realize that he somehow managed to place himself in the big dating with someone who will never half deserve him and honestly
TG: when he wises up and realizes he can do way better than me, id rather it was because i actually fucked up somehow and that he doesnt just fall out of love with me because im like
TG: not a man
TT: Hm.
TG: what
TT: Are you in the emotional place, dearest sibling, to hear that your problems are fully inane bullshit?
TG: well youve given me such an opportunity to say no
TT: Not all of your problems, obviously.
TT: But, come on, you are worried *Karkat Vantas* gives a single damn what your gender is?
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the dick constellation is not a metaphor by MisPronounce_and_MisAccent
Fandoms: Homestuck
11 Feb 2022
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Your eyes still haven't adjusted to the dark.
A story about meteors and recovery and gardening and dick constellations made of glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars.(Not necessarily in that order.)
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Ch.1
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dave and karkat's venn biagram of crushes by MisPronounce_and_MisAccent
Fandoms: Homestuck
06 Jan 2022
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DAVE: ive been punching in the numbers
DAVE: slammin the books
DAVE: and i realized that our venn biagram of crushes is—
DAVE: checkin the lab report
DAVE: oh shit dr vantas
DAVE: its a circle
In which Dave and Karkat have had crushes on all the same people and we as a society need to talk about this.
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“Dave!”
You glance up from the can you’re occupied as fuck kicking around a long platform on dreambubble LoHaC. You’ve got a Karkat coming in at one o’clock, hand raised and waving and grinning, just a bit. And notably not white-eyed.
Well, goddamn.
A Dave (dead) and a Karkat (alive and well) talk timelines, relationships, and dude magnets.
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She, in your initial perception, is not far from human. The construction of her body, proportions and musculature, do not seem unusual at first glance, but you are looking at her — because how could you look elsewhere? — and you can see it. There is an uncanniness to her form: her spine a bit too long; her eyes, though narrowed, a bit too wide; bones and jade-green veins just barely visible through the translucent of her skin.
She is inhuman. Vampiric. Monstrous.
She is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.
Rose Lalonde, on the meteor.
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apples cleft in twain (and other foods of love) by MisPronounce_and_MisAccent
Fandoms: Homestuck
17 Aug 2021
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Among other things, a story about surviving a shipwreck, falling in love with your vampiric boss, and wooing someone else on her behalf. And, of course, doing all of this in the guise of your late brother.
It's Twelfth Night or, you know, what you will.
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I love Rose Lalonde and her dedication to doing batshit stupid things for no goddamn good reason
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ARADIA: so you know karkat, your dead husband karkat?
DAVE: ...yeah?
ARADIA: i think he's here
A hundred and fifty years after Dave's husband dies, they find each other again.This is where they go from there.
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TG: hey guys poll time
TG: should i bang the reincarnation of my dead husband
TT: ...Dear God.
GG: hmmmmmm
AA: just so you know this isnt a hypothetical
AA: there is a karkat here
GA: I Mean The Answer Is Obviously No
GA: Not To Be A Buzzkill Im Not Against The Morbidity Aspect Its Just A Little Unsettling To Me Personally And Would Probably Fuck You Up
AG: I say go for it!!!!!!!!
EB: Vriska!
EB: Dave it would be very bad don’t do that
TG: hey vriska i appreciate the support
AG: Of course!
TG: also it looks like theres a terezi reincarnation here too if you want to get on that
AG: WH8T
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But she died. The clock called it just and, in that very outcome, the universe has confirmed that you were right. Reality has told you, this is what had to be done. Existence as a whole thanks you; with that one word, Just, it promises that any guilt you feel is unfounded, is needless, to you, you hero.
The blood has spread to your feet.
A tale of guilt and grief and love, and Terezi and Vriska at the center of the narrative universe.
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villain or victim (neither or both) by MisPronounce_and_MisAccentSummary:
But she died. The clock called it just and, in that very outcome, the universe has confirmed that you were right. Reality has told you, this is what had to be done. Existence as a whole thanks you; with that one word, Just, it promises that any guilt you feel is unfounded, is needless, to you, you hero.
The blood has spread to your feet.A tale of guilt and grief and love, and Terezi and Vriska at the center of the narrative universe.
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- Words:
- 31,030
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 26
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Actually fucking shaking the Game Over Davekat angst is SO GOOD
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mituna has a sleepover at kurloz's house and ends up with his face buried between his best friends thighs while his friend's dad fucks his ass.
it is dark. consider yourself warned. -
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“You See Karkat, You Need Something Special Something So Special Dave Will Not Be Able To Take His Eyes Off You And Completely Abandoned His Work To Fully Pay Attention To You.”
"AND THAT IS?"
Kanaya smirks with her jade painted lips and stands up.
"Come With Me Now, We Have Lots Of Work To Do."
Or: Dave's been caught up for a his work, Karkat helps out.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,320
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 9
- Kudos:
- 36
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 344
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Dave accidentally trips a biological response in Karkat
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:3
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He’d never cared for the mermaid exhibit much, unsettled by the concept of keeping other people in captivity, but this one, Eridan, intrigued him. It was on the other side of the jellyfish room. Maybe he would just peek in on his way through.
Sollux goes to the aquarium, falls in the mermaid tank, and falls in love.
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i'm not sentimental (but there's something 'bout the way you look tonight) by 0pozzom
Fandoms: Homestuck
28 Jul 2026
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dirk avoids jake at all costs. he succeeds in this avoidance for several months, until he's invited to a banquet at jane's place, where, sure enough, he comes face to face with jake english.
surely copious amounts of alcohol will help dirk stop thinking about him all night.
Series
- Part 7 of aces criminal record
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John's new neighbor has some surprisingly helpful ideas for getting over his divorce.
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good johndirk what else can i say
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Menstruation stops for no man. Karkat and Dave have an impromptu feelings jam in a flooded bathroom. Somehow, it helps.