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  1. *

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    Summary

    Shane rolls his eyes while he types. You have the wrong number.

    Unknown: ok lol. wyd later

    Shane: Dude, knock it off. I’m not whoever you think I am.

    Unknown: then howd you know im a dude? if i am “stranger”...

    Shane braces one of his elbows on the doorframe. Trust me, I can tell. Hoping it’ll scare them off, he adds, I’m also a guy. Just FYI.

    But all they come back with is:

    Unknown: oh yea? r u hot?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,987
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    1,446
    Bookmarks:
    243
    Hits:
    11,576
  2. 28

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    hudson: maybe i should have stayed in my own room huh?
    connor: NO!!!
    connor: honestly having you there was the only thing keeping me sane
    connor: i don't regret even one minute
    hudson: good 🥰
    hudson: we had some very nice minutes 🍆🍑💦

    or: a look into hudson's and connor's texting history (if connor actually liked texting).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,160
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    248
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    3,929
  3. 19

    Words:
    29
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    20
  4. 15

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    Summary

    8:53
    Oh, would you be so kind? Wonderful!
    Then we shall sleep together tonight.

    or

    Crowley decided that it was time for Aziraphale to own a phone that wasn't older than his car. After a long deliberation with himself, he gifts the angel a brand new iPhone for Christmas. Aziraphale gets the hang of it rather quickly. This is the aftermath.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,663
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    186
  5. *

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    Ilya was about to be promoted to the head of the Boston office for Lockhart Gardner publishings in Toronto. If only his visa wasn't expired.

    Shane was his long suffering assistant who'd just been passed for a promotion. And who had to just cancel going home for his grandmother's 90th birthday. BUT. He was Canadian.

    Ilya needed a visa, Shane needed a promotion. What if they married each other and solved two problems with one ring?

    The Proposal AU - Hollanov Style

    Part of my series of turning romcoms into Hollanov stories

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,211
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    116
    Kudos:
    306
    Bookmarks:
    122
    Hits:
    10,934
  6. *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,036
    Kudos:
    18,943
    Bookmarks:
    3,613
    Hits:
    106,623
  7. *

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    Selected text messages from the phones of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, circa 2020-2021.

     
    Troy Barrett: I’m planning to drive up to Toronto to finish packing up my apartment on Saturday, and I was wondering if you’d want to grab dinner after your game while we’re both in town?
    -
    Jane: …did you tell Barrett about us?
    Lily: no i promise
    Lily: he maybe thinks it is possible, but i did not tell
    Jane: I don’t think he has any idea
    Lily: what makes you say this
    Jane: Just a hunch

     
    Or: Troy asks for Shane’s number, and Ilya gives it to him. What could go wrong? Or maybe more importantly, what could go right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,321
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    331
    Kudos:
    2,886
    Bookmarks:
    570
    Hits:
    38,899
  8. 14

    Words:
    79,536
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    14
  9. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Mostly canon-compliant Marauders-at-Hogwarts fic where each year is basically an entire book with a full plot.

    Or

    Strong Moonwater-centric fic where Regulus is actually the golden key that unlocks the entire universe – because why do only Padfoot and Prongs get ride-or-die besties?

    Or

    That one where the Marauders secretly brew Polyjuice to trade places with Remus on full moon days and help him avoid suspicion – think body-swapping with your crush trope.

    Or

    That one where, through a series of extenuating circumstances, Remus and Sirius have three first kisses. Because, naturally, third time's a charm, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,058,438
    Chapters:
    161/161
    Comments:
    6,900
    Kudos:
    2,831
    Bookmarks:
    790
    Hits:
    188,849
  10. *

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    Summary

    Cliff Marleau ✅ @bostonsmarleau
    Happy birthday to the sexiest, finest, most scrumptious man I’ve ever met. I miss him and his fat ass every day. Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

    💬 29.3K 🔄 248.6K ❤️ 530.3K

    Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
    marly i’m not fucking dead

    Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollander24
    STOP CALLING MY HUSBAND’S ASS FAT

    Or: Twitter celebrates Ilya’s birthday!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,175
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    86
    Kudos:
    2,620
    Bookmarks:
    331
    Hits:
    11,918
  11. 3

    Tags
    Summary

    [email protected] - Your package has been delived to your adress.

    Hayden: Hey man, I think your package had been delivered to my house? Can I open it? I'm curious.

    Hayden fining out about Ilya and Shane after a wrong delivery of sex toys.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,673
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    0
  12. *

    Words:
    14,006
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    265
  13. 79

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov is not okay, and his walls are finally caving in.

    When a concerned teammate breaks the locker room code to text Shane about his captain's sudden collapse, Shane has to face the fact that he's two hours away in Montreal and helpless.

    In a panic, he asks his parents to check on Ilya's Ottawa apartment. But David and Yuna don't just find a messy room, they end up snooping through a drawer and discovering a hidden stack of handwritten letters.

    Reading the words Ilya could never say out loud, the Hollanders are forced to confront the horrific reality of his childhood and the crushing weight of the trauma he’s been carrying completely alone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,388
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    3,241
  14. *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov is being an annoying, horny Snapchat menace.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,350
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    867
    Kudos:
    8,019
    Bookmarks:
    1,910
    Hits:
    161,201
  15. *

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    Summary

    [Jamil Viper] omfs Kalim

    [Leona Kingscholar] Ruggie where's my sandwich? I asked for it thirty minutes ago

    [Floyd] ajshshha djsejdizlr got xivlrs 😛😛😛😆😆😆😆🤡🤡🤡👻👻👊👊🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡😛😛😛😛😛

    [Azul Ashengrotto] I am deeply disappointed in everyone here

    [Azul Ashengrotto] except for you Jamil ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ ily 💋💋❤️‍🔥

    [Jamil Viper] I swear to the seven im going to kms

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    156,544
    Chapters:
    148/150
    Comments:
    7,653
    Kudos:
    2,397
    Bookmarks:
    210
    Hits:
    78,253
  16. *

    Words:
    9,754
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    260
  17. *

    Summary

    A series of stories all set in the Katsuki Hakamata AU. Lessons Learned is the first story in the series and I do recommend reading that for context. Beyond that these aren't in chronological order.

    Words:
    165,322
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1,899
  18. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are teammates, charity co-founders and ex-rivals. They are definitely not dating, and are obviously both super heterosexual.
    It's a new season and Lily (Shane's very real girlfriend, who is definitely not his Captain Ilya Rozanov) has decided to join the group chat for the spouses and partners of Ottawa Centaurs, which Jane (Ilya Rozanov's very real girlfriend, who is definitely not his alternate Captain Shane Hollander) is already a member of.

    What could go wrong?

    ( The sequel to "I just need a quiet place where I can scream how I love you")

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,419
    Chapters:
    7/13
    Comments:
    471
    Kudos:
    1,395
    Bookmarks:
    157
    Hits:
    15,775
  19. 14

    Tags
    Summary

    818181: u like when i call u greedy and gross and a freak and a slut? whoreeeee

    818181: tell me all the nasty shit u think about and maybe I’ll send u a dick pic 💦

    hollander24: Please

    hollander24: Haed to type with one hand

    hollander24: I think about a lot of things. Being tied up, gagged, slapped and hit, and uh

    hollander24: Forced to take it 

    818181: …wow 

    818181: u really are a fucking whore. 

    Or — One night, while bored out of his mind, Shane stumbles across a website to sext people on. Cue in Ilya, who is more than willing to indulge Shane in his wants.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,015
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    948
  20. *

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    Summary

    “So the MVP player of today’s game, where you kicked our asses, is drinking alone in a basement. Isn’t that ironic?”

    “Well, I’m drinking along with a sore loser of today’s game, sitting in said basement. Isn’t that ironic?”

     

    Or: Cliff Marleau decided to go for a beer after the defeat to Montreal and left the bar with number of a surprisingly sassy twenty-year-old Voyageur and a ten-step adoption plan

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,312
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    1,097
    Bookmarks:
    354
    Hits:
    8,569

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