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You meet him when you're five.
Your mom holds your hand as she walks you across the street, leading you to the door of the preschool. As you pass the chipped yellow fence you see a pair of brilliant blue eyes staring at you from under the playset, and you rise up on your tiptoes to see who those eyes belong to.
You become best friends when you're six.
One day he sits next to you at lunchtime, and you look over at him as you arrange your lunchables. He reaches over and grabs a slice of ham, and you shrug. When your mom comes to pick you up, you ask her if you can have a playdate.
You hunt ghosts with him when you're seven.
He corners one underneath the willow tree, and tells you to tackle it. You both know there's nothing for you to land on, so you fall to the ground dramatically and lay there for the rest of recess. You can hear him telling the other kids that a ghost got you.
You start a youtube channel when you're eight.
It's small, and it only gets a few views (mostly from your parents). It's about your adventures with Jay. Each episode starts out huddled in the closet behind your mom’s old dresses before you eventually wander out past the vacuum to go explore the house or see what your sister is doing.
You invite Jay to a bonfire when you're nine.
It's a big event with your family that you go to every year, and it's always the same. Everyone coos over your sister- she's nearly seven, why does she get so much attention , you didn't get this much attention- and you're left to poke the fire with sticks all night. This time, you and Jay run through the legs of people standing around talking and sword battle with sticks by the fire. He knocks your stick into the flames, and you both laugh.
You go to your first sleepover when you're ten.
It's with Jay and some other kids from school, Cole and Zane. You stay up way too later before crashing on a sugar high and falling asleep among half-empty bottles of root beer and bags of chips. You wake up curled in a pile with the other three, sleeping bags forgotten in favor of a large blanket.
You make an account on Cheeper when you're eleven.
It takes about two weeks for you to be fully introduced to the internet. Once you're there, you insist on telling Jay about it. He watches as you boot up your dad's computer and show him the wonders of the web. He makes an email and you talk long after dark.
You try to ignore the flutter in your chest when you're twelve.
Every time you see Jay, your smile widens and your heart races. You watch him snort milk out of his nose in laughter and find it kind of endearing. You ask Cole about it. He tells you it's a crush. You spend the rest of your day wondering if it is.
You go to a beach with Jay when you're thirteen.
He grabs seashells and arranges them in a pattern in the sand, barely managing to finish before the tide sweeps it away. You smile and grab a handful of sand, throwing it at him and laughing as he sputters. He chases you into the water and you grab his arm, pulling him over with you as you fall. You float there for a moment, Jay’s laughing ringing in your ears.
You cram yourselves into the old closet when you're fourteen.
Both of you are giggling, trying to find space to sit down among the dusty clothes and various cleaning supplies. You eventually settle down, pulling Jay down besides you. You spend the rest of the afternoon in there whispering old stories to each other and telling stupid jokes to make the other laugh.
You sneak out when you're fifteen.
He meets you at the skate park where you take Nya to practice. She's pretty good at skateboarding, better than you when you were twelve (if she were here right now she would say i’m almost thirteen, there's only a month until my birthday but she's not here right now) and definitely better than Jay when he was twelve. Jay. That's right.
He grabs your hand as you sit on the edge of the concrete. Your face heats up slightly and you blame it on the moon shining on your face.
so what did you want to tell me, he chuckles. You close your eyes for a moment, psyching yourself up. did you bring me out here at three in the morning just to ask for the math homework, or what-
i love you, you say, and he stops mid-joke. Taking a deep breath, you continue. jay walker, i’ve grown up with you by my side and if i realized anything during that time it's that i love you so, so much.
He doesn't respond for a moment. You're afraid, so damn afraid, that you've just ruined the ten years of friendship between them and you could still save this somehow, some way-
i love you too, Jay says. Your heart nearly stops, and then it jumps out of your chest, and you turn to him just in time for him to lean forward to kiss you.
kai, i love you so much- jay oh my god, really- yes i do i really do-
You continue like that for a while, sitting there on the edge of the concrete slope of the skate park, and finally Jay says so should we head back?
i dunno, you reply. my mom thinks i'm spending the night at your house, and your mom thinks that you're at zane’s house, and-
it's okay, Jay says, and we stand up. we can go wherever we like.