Chapter Text
~ x x x ~
“And the winner of the 26th annual Seoul Music Awards for Best Music Video is Bangtan Sonyeondan! Congratulations!”
BTS bowed to their applauding peers as they made their way to the stage. The presenters rattled off the group’s impressive chart rankings before handing the members their flowers and trophy. Seokjin stepped up to the mic to give his speech.
“It’s an honor to accept such a prestigious award at the start of the new year. We want to thank Bang PD-nim, our staff at BigHit, and our family. We also want to thank our lead album producers Pdogg-hyung, Dohyungie-hyung, and Junsang.” Seokjin paused and then questioningly glanced at his fellow members, who all seemed to read his mind and nod approvingly. His lips twitched into a sly smile. “Our company didn’t order us to say this, but our first hoobae is debuting later this year.”
Screams intensified at the news.
“We want to give a special shoutout to our songwriter and fellow BigHit artist Han Sowon. Please look after her. Thank you so much to our fans, ARMY, who have given us wings like the title of our last album. Happy new year, everyone! I love you!”
~ x x x ~
Purple strobe lights bathed the hyped audience inside the Flash Factory, a once opulent Victorian theater that had recently been reincarnated as Manhattan’s trendiest EDM club. Collective singing resonated off the cathedral-high ceilings, and the dance floor vibrated to the current song’s heavy bass. Backstage, Sowon warmed up by jumping up and down, trying to shake off any lingering stage fright. She fiddled with her custom in-ears that Bangtan had gifted her at MAMA. She hadn’t performed on stage since then and wasn’t sure if she could replicate the same level of charisma for her upcoming performance.
“Nervous?”
She turned to see DEAN sidle up next to her. He was dressed unassumingly in a two-tone plaid shirt and a baseball cap. Despite also being mic'ed up, he showed no sign of nervousness and looked nonchalant nursing his glass of whiskey. When he silently offered her a sip, she shook her head. “I'm good. Thanks.”
DEAN took a slow sip of his drink. “Sorry again for the last-minute venue change.”
“Are you kidding me? Look at this place. It's fire!” Sowon gestured to the stained glass chandelier hanging above the DJ booth. “This is possibly the coolest venue to kick off your U.S. tour.”
“Well I'm glad things worked out.” DEAN playfully nudged her shoulder. “Hey, you're gonna kill it out there.”
Sowon gave him a tiny, grateful smile. The DJ ended the song with a dramatic record scratch and took a hold of his mic. “All right, New York! It's time for our opening act. You may already recognize her as the Queen of Diamonds in DEAN'S crew, The Royal Flush. Give it up for Han Sowon!”
Here we go.
Exhaling, Sowon stepped onto the stage. Cheers erupted as the spotlight followed her to the mic stand. She adjusted her mic unnecessarily and looked into the crowd with a shy smile. “Hi, I’m Sowon. Let’s go on a ‘Joyride.’”
The house lights dimmed to a sunset orange. Drumsticks clicked in a countdown and a gritty guitar careened into the opening of a rebellious, 2000s rock anthem. Her nervousness melted away, and whipping her hair to the music, she poured her hungry heart into the mic.
~ x x x ~
Sowon wheeled her large suitcases through the terminal’s automatic doors. A gust of spring chill greeted her upon walking outside. She was heading towards the airport limousine buses when a white SUV pulled up next to her on the curb. The passenger window rolled down to reveal Minjae, who slid down his sunglasses a smidge to meet her gaze. “Need a ride?”
“Minjae-oppa, why are you here? And who’s driving?” Sowon craned her head to get a better look at the driver. Minjae blocked her view by opening the car door and climbing out of his seat.
“Now, is that any way to greet the family you abandoned?”
Sowon winced. Minjae didn’t prolong her suffering with another jab of guilt-tripping and instead wrapped her in a bear hug. “Welcome home, Sowon-ah. We missed you.”
“We?”
The driver’s door opened and shut. Sowon pulled away from Minjae to see Donghun round the vehicle. “Hey there, shortcake.”
“Oh my god, Hunie-oppa!” She threw her arms around Donghun’s neck as her former member lifted her in the air like a toddler. When he let her back down on the ground, Sowon asked, “What are you doing here? Did Minjae-oppa bully you into driving him to the airport?”
“Hey! I am fully capable of driving to the airport on my own, thank you very much.” Minjae huffed as he loaded one of her suitcases onto the trunk. “Besides, if Donghunie-hyung is going to third-wheel, he should at least drive.”
The back door opened, and Rua stepped out with her arms outstretched for a hug. “Surprise!”
“Unnie!” The two women shrieked with happiness and hugged each other tightly.
“We missed you so much. You have to tell me everything about New York.” Rua motioned Sowon to board the backseat with her. Once Donghun and Minjae finished loading the luggage, they boarded the front seats.
“So, what are your thoughts on celebrating your return with some samgyeopsal and noraebang?” Donghun asked as he drove the car back onto the freeway.
Sowon smiled at him through the rearview mirror. “Sure, but there’s a place I want to visit first.”
~ x x x ~
They arrived at a concrete, utilitarian building in Nohyeon-dong. A large “For lease” sign was plastered on the glass entrance. The directory outside was outdated, and their old agency’s name was still displayed like a faded tattoo.
“Never thought I’d come back here,” Rua said, crossing her arms in clear discomfort.
“This was where you trained before BigHit?” Minjae asked Sowon as he scanned the unassuming building with a mix of disbelief and disapproval. “No wonder you never let me visit.”
Sowon ignored him and walked up the steps to the building’s front door. Donghun rushed after her. “Hey! You’re going to get in trouble for trespassing.”
Sowon punched a gate code on the intercom system. The door buzzed open without protest. She glanced back at the others and cocked her head at the now unlocked door. “Coming?”
She didn’t wait for the others before strolling down the empty hallway. Her footsteps echoed hauntingly against the tiles. Her muscle memory led her downstairs to the basement where their old practice room resided. When she opened the door, she half-expected to see Hajoon doing his warm-up stretches on the floor. Instead, she was greeted by dust and abandoned gym equipment. Dumbbells of all weights and sizes littered the floor like fallen weapons on a battlefield. The only familiar piece of decor was the wall of mirrors, where Sowon and her members constantly monitored their dance moves.
“Wow, the last business that rented this space was a gym.” Donghun lifted a hefty dumbbell with practiced ease. “Guess they didn’t want to bother hauling these to the moving truck.”
“Ew, Donghun. Put that down. You’ll get tetanus,” Rua chastised.
“Yes, mom. Ow! Don’t slap my arm while I’m holding weights.”
Sowon knelt next to the doorway. There, along the baseboard, she spotted the message she had graffitied on the wall on the day of her old group’s disbandment.
“Thank you, Room 19! Nam Hajoon, Lee Donghun, Kwon Rua, Han Sowon, let’s debut! ^^”
As her hand traced her across her handwriting, she abruptly stopped at the tail end of the message. There was a tiny addition scribbled in a different handwriting, but one that was familiar to Sowon.
“Let’s be happy”
“Hey, you okay?” Minjae whispered, kneeling beside her. Sowon had not realized she was crying until she felt a teardrop land on her hand. She took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded.
“I’m fine. Just…” She blinked her tears back. “I wish he was here.”
Minjae wrapped his arm around her waist in a comforting side-hug. Sowon then felt Rua hug her from behind and rest her chin on the younger girl’s shoulder. Donghun sat on the other side of Sowon and firmly held her hand. They didn’t question her further or offer platitudes. They just held her in companionable silence. After what felt like an eternity, Sowon quickly dried her eyes with the back of her hand and smiled at the others.
“Right. So, how about that samgyeopsal?”
~ x x x ~
The new BigHit building was located on a quiet but clean street in Cheongdam-dong, where they were a stone’s throw away from JYP Entertainment. Sowon marveled at her new office’s gleaming windows. She couldn’t believe how much the small company had grown while she was away in New York. She was certain BigHit was still renting instead of owning, but moving to a five-story building was still a significant upgrade. It also meant that Sowon was more likely to get lost on her first day at the new office.
“You’d think there would be signs or something,” she grumbled to herself after looping around the entire floor. After the receptionist had given her a guest pass, Sowon was left on her own to roam the building. Noah had texted her only the conference room number and not which floor the room was. Sighing, she pushed the button for the elevator. Hopefully, she didn’t have to check every single floor to make it to her meeting.
The elevator doors opened. Inside were two, exceptionally handsome boys dressed in their respective high school uniforms. Sowon could almost see sparkles emitting from their milky skins. Her trance was broken when the elevator doors began to close.
“Wait!” She squeezed herself between the closing doors. Once safely inside the elevator, she turned to the two high schoolers with a hopeful look. “Are you guys BigHit trainees?” The boys tentatively nodded. “Do you know where conference room C is?”
The boys shared a look, urging the other to speak first. Finally, the boy dressed in the Hanlim Arts School uniform replied, “It’s on the fourth floor to the right.”
“Thank you!” Sowon sighed in relief and pushed the button for her floor. As the elevator went up, the two boys shared a series of looks and mouthed bickering. When the elevator chimed and reached their floor, the boys stopped and turned to Sowon with desperate curiosity.
“Are you Han Sowon, by any chance?” the other boy asked.
Sowon smiled. “Yes, I am. And you are?”
“Oh, me?” His large doe eyes stared back at her with awe. “I’m Lee Heeseung.”
“And I’m Choi Beomgyu,” the Hanlim boy added. “We just joined the company last month.”
“It’s an honor to meet you, sunbaenim.” Heseung bowed ninety-degrees, and his friend swiftly copied him.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” Sowon returned the bow, which made the boys panic and bow again. She laughed. They were too cute. “Good luck with training. It’s tough starting out, but you’ll get better if you work hard.”
The elevator doors began to close again, but Sowon flagged her hand to stop them. The boys quickly thanked her for her advice and darted to the hallway, most likely heading to their lessons. A wave of nostalgia washed over Sowon as she reminisced about her trainee days. It was hard to believe that they were not that long ago.
Sowon exited the elevator and followed Beomgyu’s direction to the conference room. She didn’t have to go very far to search for the right room because Noah emerged from it.
“Good. You’re here. I thought you left the country again.” Noah strolled over to her, hands in pockets. Sowon rolled her eyes.
“I would have gotten here earlier if you had told me what floor the meeting was.”
The two mock glared at each other until their faces cracked into amused smiles. They simultaneously pulled the other into a hug, rocking side by side. “I can't believe you're actually here in Seoul. Never run away again. At least text me first next time.”
“I promise.” Sowon ended the hug. Straightening her shoulders, she took a deep breath. “Let's do this.”
Noah reassured her with a light pat on her back. He guided her to the conference room, propping open the door for her. The first thing Sowon noticed was how packed the room was. BigHit was a small company with only eighty employees, and yet there were close to twenty people crammed in the room. Every chair at the long conference table was occupied by a department head while the rest sat in commandeered chairs lined up against the wall. With all eyes on her, Sowon bowed ninety-degrees in greeting, feeling intimidated by how outnumbered she was.
“Welcome back, Sowon-yang,” Bang PD said from the head of the table. “Take a seat, and then we can get started.”
Sowon scanned the room for an empty chair, only to find exactly one tucked in the furthest corner. Bang PD waited and watched her expectantly to take the outcasted seat. Sowon huffed. She strutted over to the chair and then dragged it to the opposite head of the table. Squeezing in between two employees, she plopped down on her seat and rested her elbows on the table, asserting her space. She raised her chin proudly at Bang PD, daring him to tell her off. Instead, Bang PD’s lips twitched up in a hint of an approving smile.
“Senna, when exactly is the date for that R&B hip-hop festival again?” Bang PD asked, opening the meeting.
“Hiphopplaya Festival is on April 8th. They’re rolling out the lineup announcement this week. We have a copy of the poster right here.” Senna connected her laptop to the projector. A splashy poster with large blocks of text naming R&B and hip-hop artists in order of fame lit up on the projector screen. Jay Park, Dok2, Loco, Zico, and DEAN were among the biggest names in top billing. At the very bottom of the lineup was Sowon’s name in a smaller font.
“Wait.” Sowon did a doubletake of the lineup again. “Am I the only woman performing at this festival?”
“Looks like it,” said Songdeuk. “Huh. I never even noticed that.”
Sowon and the other women seated at the table shared a knowing look. They were all familiar with how oblivious men could be with the everyday microaggressions their women colleagues faced.
“Since Sowon’s already locked in for the festival, we need to schedule her official debut for mid or late March.” Noah frowned, looking down at his calendar app on his phone. “That gives us barely a month.”
“Yes, well, we could have properly launched a debut EP with physicals if someone hadn’t gone rogue.” Bang PD scowled at Sowon, who averted her guilty gaze to the ceiling. She had already received an hour-long lecture from the CEO after she signed her updated artist contract. She had to credit the man for waiting until the ink was dry to tear her a new one. Releasing a mini-album without company approval was one thing, but publishing it for free on Soundcloud? BigHit lost profits because of her.
“How many streams does Sowon’s EP have now?” Bang PD asked Noah.
“Last time I checked, ‘We Don’t Talk Together’ alone has 600k.”
Taejun, the head of business strategy, choked on his coffee. “600k!? We could have made at least eight thousand American dollars with the retail price for a digital single across platforms. And that’s just with one song.”
Sowon fought back a wince. She didn’t regret releasing her mini-album on her own terms, but it did hurt a little to hear how much money she lost out on.
“Well, we shouldn’t put too much value in streams for ‘We Don’t Talk Together’ anyway because most of the listeners are ARMYs. Suga did produce the track, and that comes with a lot of inflation,” said another senior staff member.
This time, Sowon did wince. It was always going to be true that Yoongi’s song would outdo hers, but did the staff member have to be so brutally honest about it? Her other songs stood strong on their own. Her numbers were still impressive, Bangtan inflation or not. Sooyoung, the creative director, apparently thought the same.
“There’s been a big spike in streams for ‘Graduation’ this week. Around 30k more unique listeners since last week,” Sooyoung said, studying the Soundcloud analytics on her laptop screen. “Probably because it’s graduation season.”
Bang PD pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sowon-yang.”
“It won’t happen again. I swear.” Sowon raised her hands in surrender.
“It better not.” Bang PD glared at her for a lingering moment before turning to Pdogg on his right. “Do we have anything in the works? I’m sure we can at least release a quality digital single in time for the festival.”
“Actually, I had an idea.” Pdogg leaned forward and folded his hands on the table. “What if we repackage the Graduation EP into a full album with three new tracks?”
The room murmured in consideration. Sowon felt a rush of excitement thinking about her old songs getting a proper physical. Not only did it mean wider distribution and royalties but also the album would receive new concept art and a music video with the help of a professional team.
“Three songs is still a tight deadline,” Bang PD said.
“Yes, but what if we first re-release ‘Joyride’ as a single? We can remix it to keep it fresh. And later in the year, we can include the original and remix in the repackage.”
Bang PD slowly nodded, coming around to the idea. “Remixes do count for charting.”
“And remixing would take less time than producing a new title track that passes muster.”
“Which would save Creative more time to build a mood board for the single,” Sooyoung added. “Style team can pull some options faster.”
“‘Joyride’ is an upbeat song, so we can definitely add some choreography too,” Songdeuk said. Soon, the whole room was energized with exchanges of new ideas and possibilities. Sowon was beaming with hope until she heard someone pitch an idea that soured her excitement.
“And if we add a featured artist, we’d generate more buzz.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Sowon swiveled in her chair to stare down the poor employee who voiced the suggestion. “You want my debut single to have a featured artist?”
The targeted employee gulped nervously. “I mean, it’s not a terrible idea…”
“Sorry, but I’ve had my fill of collabs as a trainee. I want to debut on my own two feet and not share the spotlight with an established artist to babysit me. Is that too much to ask?”
“Yes,” Bang PD said point-blank. Sowon bit her inner cheek to stop herself from talking back. She had to remind herself that she didn’t want to get written up on her first day back at work.
“We need to use every arsenal for your debut. A featured artist can get more ears on your album later,” Senna told Sowon in an empathetic voice that sounded almost borderline condescending.
“Are there any artists we have in mind for a feature? I know Sowon is part of Royal Flush. Maybe she can reach out to Crush?” Pdogg suggested.
“Crush-sunbaenim is on his world tour. I don’t think he’ll have capacity,” Sowon said. “Same goes for DEAN and Zico sunbaenims. They’re out of the country until the festival.”
“Why don’t we table this until we have a draft of the remix? We don’t even know if a singer or rapper would be a better fit.” Bang PD faced Pdogg. “How soon can you churn something out?”
“Give me a few days. I can also ask the production team to take a crack at it.”
“Anyone but Supreme Boi, please,” Sowon said, earning another reprimanding glare from Bang PD. She sucked in her lips to stop herself from smirking or retorting. She was absolutely not going to apologize.
Bang PD scrubbed a hand down his tired face. “Let’s move on to other business. Marketing, what do you have for us?”
~ x x x ~
The new Producers Row was more spacious and nicer to look at. For one, the carpet was brand new and the lighting less eerie. Since every producer had already moved in, Sowon had expected to claim whatever empty room was left over. Hence she was surprised to see a studio door decorated with a personalized metal plaque engraved with the words “Little Star.” Her fingers reverently traced the small shooting star streaked over the studio name.
“I did promise that I’d get you a sign once you came up with a studio name.”
Sowon turned to see a casually dressed Namjoon leaning against the wall to her left. Sporadic video calls had not prepared her to see him in person. She could see the depth of his dimples in his smile and the fried texture of his ash purple hair. She could also sense his towering height and the charisma it lent him. As her eyes drank him in, she noticed him doing the same to her. They shared knowing smiles. Namjoon offered his fist for their secret handshake. Giggling, Sowon bumped his fist with hers before miming their signature mic drop.
“Aren’t you jetlagged? I didn’t expect you to come straight back to work,” said Namjoon.
“Ha! As if Bang PD-nim would let me take a day off now that I’m back in his jurisdiction.” Sowon massaged her stiff neck. “First day back, and I get ambushed with a two-hour, all-boards meeting.”
Namjoon gave her a commiserating wince and then pointed to her studio. “Have you been inside yet?”
“No, I just got here.”
Namjoon’s smile widened. “Then you’re in for a treat.”
He pushed open the studio door and flipped on the lights. Blinking to adjust to the sudden brightness, Sowon was stunned to find the studio fully furnished and decorated. Her workstation desk was nearly three times the size of her old Ikea desk, housing not only twin monitors and a soundboard but also a synthesizer inside a drawer. Two high-end speakers stood guard on either side of the desk. Her basic office chair was exchanged for a mint green, ergonomic gamer chair, complete with little cat ears decorating the headrest. Fresh houseplants perched on top of the studio’s floating shelves. And finally, tucked away in a corner was a peach loveseat, where a large plushie of a Maplestory Pinkbean napped underneath a fluffy blanket.
“What do you think?” Namjoon looked around the room with pride. “Rap Line and Production all pitched in for the equipment. Well, except for these speakers. They’re from Bang PD-nim, but don’t let him know I told you. He doesn’t want to look soft in front of you.”
That tidbit shook Sowon awake from her stupor. The speakers alone must have cost a fortune. “This is too much.”
“You’re BigHit’s new rising star. You deserve at least this much.” Namjoon picked up the Pinkbean plushie and presented it to Sowon. “You can probably guess who got you this.”
Sowon hugged the plushie to her chest. “Jinnie-oppa.”
“Has he tried to recruit you to play MapleStory with him?”
“A few times, but Jungkookie is adamant that I level up my skills in League. It’s not progressing well.”
“Speaking of Jungkook.” Namjoon sat down in the gamer chair and spun around in it. “This chair’s from Jungkookie and Tae. They fought over what color to get you. Don’t know who won.”
“Probably Tae. He likes green.” Sowon touched the chair’s headrest fondly.
Namjoon gestured to the houseplants on the shelves. “I tried to save your plants in your old studio, but they all died. Jimin says I killed them, but in my defense, they were already brown by the time we got back from Japan.”
“Considering I’m the one who abandoned my plants, I don’t think I have room to talk.”
“Well you don’t have to worry about these ones. They’re fake. Jimin bought them after he killed the new plants he was planning to give you.” Namjoon smirked.
Sowon laughed. She sat down on the loveseat while still hugging the plushie tightly. “Not to sound ungrateful, but you really didn’t have to do all of this.”
“We wanted to,” Namjoon said with finality. “And you’ve earned this. You helped us win a daesang.”
“Uh, no I didn’t.” Sowon jabbed an accusatory finger in his direction. “You won that daesang for Young Forever, not Wings. You can’t gaslight me.”
Namjoon’s face scrunched up in confusion. “That’s not right. We performed ‘Blood, Sweat, and Tears’ at MMA.”
“The cutoff for 2016 Best Album was at the end of September. Wings came out in October,” Sowon explained with exaggerated hand movements. “It’s only confusing because you guys are such overachievers and released two albums within a span of six months.”
Namjoon considered her words for a long moment. Once the revelation sank in, a mix of horror and embarrassment washed over his face. “Oh my god. This whole time, I thought Wings won best album of the year.”
“I knew you were shellshocked at winning your first daesang, but dang, Monie-oppa. Did you really think that an album that was released only a month before the awards show won Best Album of the Year?”
He blankly stared back at her, revealing that that was exactly what he thought. Sowon burst into an uncontrollable, belly-aching laugh. “Your first daesang and you don’t even remember what you won it for.”
“I could have sworn Hobi and Pdogg said Wings won a daesang,” Namjoon muttered. His face looked like he was going through a life crisis. Sowon laughed harder, pounding her fist onto the plushie. Tears were springing out of her eyes now. Was this what happened when you were too good at your job? You forgot what milestones you reached?
Namjoon sighed. “Well, I guess the only way I’m going to live this down is if Wings actually wins Best Album this coming year.”
Sowon’s laughter settled down. She gave him a humoring look, the kind that mothers gave their children when they spoke nonsense. “Even if Wings wins a daesang, you can’t say my measly contributions helped you win it. That would be unfair to the actual main producers and lyricists of the title tracks.”
“We owe our success to everyone who worked with us. No matter how big or small their part was,” Namjoon said resolutely. “And you can’t use the same excuse if this new album wins a daesang. You’re credited on both title tracks, ‘Not Today’ and ‘Spring Day.’”
Sowon’s face lit up with a bright, hopeful smile. “‘Spring Day’ deserves a daesang for sure.”
Namjoon wheeled his chair closer to her as if he was about to share a secret with her. “You know, I wrote my verse in your closet studio.”
“Is that right?” Sowon coughed and averted her gaze. Namjoon resisted the urge to tease her about her sudden shyness. It was her first day back, after all.
“I gotta run. We have a dry rehearsal at the venue.” He stood up from his seat. “Will you be at the concert this Saturday? It'll be Hobi's birthday.”
“I already have his gift ready,” Sowon replied as she escorted Namjoon to the door. “Don’t tell the guys I’ll be there. I want to surprise them.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.” Namjoon winked at her before exiting the studio. He had only taken a few steps down the hallway when he was reeled back with a light tug on his jacket sleeve.
“Come visit again soon.” He heard Sowon's request in a soft, childlike voice. In that moment, he was reminded of just how much grief Sowon had carried alone in her time away. He turned around and patted her head while giving her a reassuring smile. “I will.”
~ x x x ~
“Isn’t this nostalgic?” Sowon said to Minjae as they took their seats at Gocheok Sky Dome. From high up in their private box, they could admire the full splendor of the ARMY lightstick galaxy.
“Hm, I don’t know. My seats were a lot closer to the stage,” Minjae teased, earning him a light slap on his arm. “I’m kidding! These seats are bougie. You didn’t have to pay for these, right?”
“Nope. Perk of being a BigHit producer.” Sowon leisurely leaned back in her seat. Unlike the other sections where there were compact rows of stiff metal chairs, the Skyboxes were furnished with spacious, cushioned seats and countertops for food and drinks.
Minjae scanned the thousands of lightsticks illuminating the venue before looking at Sowon with a proud smile. “Nine months ago you were a trainee nervous about meeting BTS backstage. Now, you’re a producer for them, and they’re about to perform the songs you wrote at this concert.”
Sowon snorted. “You make it sound like I went through a pregnancy.”
“Hey, I’m trying to tell you that I’m proud of you.” Minjae playfully pushed her away.
“I know.” Sowon smiled and patted his knee in reassurance. “I appreciate it, oppa. Truly.”
The heartfelt family moment was interrupted by a gladiatorial blare of bass, followed by an aggressive drumline. Thousands of fans screamed as the white curtain fell, revealing Bangtan standing like imposing statues on seven pedestals. A formation of dancers knelt at their feet. Namjoon strutted to the center of the stage and rallied the troops with his battle cry.
“All the underdogs in the world. A day may come when we lose. But it is not today. Today, we fight!”
~ x x x ~
The Wings concert was a masterpiece of live theater. Everything from the VCRs, lighting, costumes, choreography, and vocals were refined to the sharpest edge. Sowon could hardly believe it when she heard pieces of her lyrics and melodies delivered on stage. The chills she felt when she heard Namjoon rap to her arrangement of “Not Today” were unmatched. She had sung along proudly to her lyrics to “21st Century Girls.” When Jungkook sang the lyrics she wrote for his solo “Begin,” she teared up. By the time they closed the show with “Spring Day” and the fans sang along, she openly wept. Although she wasn’t the one performing on stage, it felt like she was standing right beside the seven members. The whole experience was magical.
She lingered in her seat long after the confetti fluttered to the ground, not wanting the dream to end. Minjae patiently waited for her to sit with her emotions until she was ready to leave. Once the upper sections had cleared out, Sowon double-checked her face to be dry of tears and then finally stood up. “Let’s go before they fall asleep from exhaustion.”
“I’m exhausted from watching them. How do they dance that intensely for so long? Their knees must be made of steel.” Minjae played up his bewilderment to ease his cousin back to normalcy. Sowon wordlessly thanked him by linking her arm with his as they walked out of their private box. Fortunately, there was a security guard waiting to personally escort them backstage, otherwise Sowon and Minjae would have accidentally left the venue. When the elevator doors opened at the basement level, they could hear people singing “Happy Birthday” from the end of the hall.
“Oh shit, they’re already singing happy birthday to Hobi-oppa.” Sowon dropped Minjae’s arm and ran down the hall. She skidded to a stop inside the artist room just as Hoseok finished blowing out the candles on his cake. The members and staff cheered.
“Happy birthday, hyung. We promised each other to not play with our food anymore, right?” Jimin smiled deviously before streaking his fingers with icing. He lunged towards Hoseok to smear the icing onto his face, but Hoseok swerved away at the last second. The momentum caused the cake to tip over and land squarely on Sowon’s chest. The whole room gasped. Shocked, Sowon glanced down at the mashed cake on her shirt before locking eyes with a horrified Hoseok and Jimin.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Hoseok thrusted the empty cake box to the nearest staff member. “Are you okay? Oh no, your poor clothes.”
Jimin rushed over with a wad of napkins and tried to help wipe the mess off her shirt. Sowon held up a palm to stop him before wiping her hand down her shirt, causing large clumps of cake and icing to land on the floor with a soft splat. She shot him an unamused look. “I swear to god, I’m never visiting you guys at your concerts again. First, Monie-oppa almost gives me a concussion, and now, you cake smash my outfit.”
“Park Jimin! Park Jimin!” Jungkook chanted, delightfully ragging on the older member for his mishap. The whole room chanted along. Jimin fell to his knees before Sowon.
“I’m sorry! Please forgive me!”
“Yah, Park Jimin. How many times did we tell you to not play with your food?” Taehyung chastised and lightly spanked Jimin’s butt. Insulted, Jimin leapt to his feet and glared at his same-age friend.
“Says the guy who started a food fight on New Year’s Eve.”
“You were the first one to join in.”
“Whatcha say to me?” Jimin said in a Busan accent. The two soon descended into play fighting. At that moment, Minjae finally caught up to Sowon and entered the green room. He did a doubletake of her icing-smeared shirt.
“What happened to you?” he asked Sowon.
“It was Jimin's fault,” Taehyung tattled, earning a smack from Jimin. Hoseok handed Sowon a fresh towel. She thanked him and cleaned the icing off her hand.
“I'm really sorry. This isn't exactly how I pictured welcoming you back,” Hoseok said with a sheepish grin.
“Me neither. At least, the cake didn’t land in my hair.” Sowon let out a dry chuckle. Remembering why she came running into the room in the first place, she dug into her purse and pulled out a mini gift bag. “Happy birthday, Hobi-oppa.”
“You got me a present?” Hoseok accepted the gift with wide-eyed surprise. “Now I feel extra bad for dropping that cake on you.”
“I thought it was Jimin’s fault,” Minjae said, confused.
“It was,” Sowon, Hoseok, and Taehyung chorused. Jimin covered his face in shame and groaned, causing everyone in the room to laugh.
Jungkook pranced over to Sowon like an excited puppy, with his large boba eyes sparkling back at her. “Sowon-ah, why didn’t you tell us you were coming to our show?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Sowon replied, her eyes flitting to Namjoon, who gave her a conspiratorial thumbs up. “Anyway, you guys were amazing. Seriously. This tour is going to be legendary.”
“Twelve countries and twenty cities. It’s our biggest yet.” Yoongi rolled his shoulders back with a grunt. “Let’s hope our bodies can make it in one piece.”
Concern and dread flickered across Sowon’s face. From what she saw tonight on stage, she could imagine how much damage their demanding setlist could incur over the span of five or six months. Before she could express her concern, Seokjin sidled up to her with a clear, plastic package in hand. “Here, Sowon. You can change into this.”
She flipped over the package to see that it contained a folded black tee with the Wings Tour logo printed on it. “Ooh, I get free merch?”
“More like reparation for Jimin’s crime,” Yoongi quipped, triggering Seokjin’s famous windshield-wiper laugh.
“I’m sorry, Sowon! I didn’t mean to. I’ll make it up to you,” Jimin pleaded as he held her hand like it was a lifeline. He poured all his cuteness and charm into his smiling moon eyes. Sowon couldn’t help but forgive him right away.
“It’s okay, Jiminie-oppa. It was just an accident.” She patted his hand reassuringly before pulling away and turning to one of the stylists. “Can I borrow one of the changing rooms?”
“Sure. Follow me.” A stylist led her to one of the partitions they had set up. She was kind enough to even rip open the new shirt from its plastic packaging for Sowon. As Sowon peeled off her dirty shirt, she heard Sejin gather the members for their traditional post-concert group photo. She couldn’t recall what tonight’s fan banner was, but she was certain the staff had secured copies for the boys as always. Maybe she could ask for one as a souvenir since she didn’t receive one in her VIP seat.
“Sowon, over here!” Jungkook called out to her the second she stepped outside the partition wearing her new shirt. The members were all seated on the couch, holding up banners for the group photos.
“Sit next to me, Won-ah.” Taehyung scooched over on the couch so that there was just enough sliver of space for another person to squeeze in without sitting on someone’s lap. Sowon hesitantly perched herself on the very edge of the cushion, but Taehyung, who had no qualms about being in other people’s personal spaces, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.
“Here, hold this.” Jungkook placed a banner in her hands. Curious, Sowon glanced down at the sky blue banner to read tonight’s message. It read: “We will become Bangtan’s wings.” Warmth flooded Sowon’s chest.
“They picked the perfect slogan for our first day. Our ARMYs are always so sweet,” Taehyung boasted with a proud smile. Sowon nodded, holding the written promise closer to her heart. It was a new era for Bangtan, ARMY, and herself. They were going to soar higher than ever before.
“Okay. Everybody say, ‘Wings!’” Sejin instructed, pointing his phone’s camera at Bangtan and Sowon.
“Wings!” they cheered with genuine happiness.
