Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

2011

"We need to get closer!"

"Are you crazy?" Dr. Selvig screamed at his colleague, Jane Foster. "We could die!"

Jane simply ignored him as she raced the car closer to the storm that seemed about to reach the ground, almost like a tornado. I sat in the back of the car by Darcy, her intern. However, Darcy did not look as nervous as I felt about this. I held on tightly to whatever I could find that was sturdy enough to keep me somewhat stable as the van started to shake violently. We were approaching the storm. Closing my eyes, I prayed that I would get through this incident unscathed or else my parents would kill my Aunt Jane, and even though we were close to possibly dying, I enjoyed visiting her for the summers.

Darcy looked at me with wide eyes. "Dana, hold on!" she screamed.

Suddenly, our van stopped with a big thunk, and it felt as if we had hit another car. Come to find out, what we hit was no car at all, but a god.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How old are you?" the strange man asked me. It turned out his name was Thor, and he was from a different planet. Thor had just finished explaining his world to my aunt, and she quickly fell asleep in her lawn-chair after such a long day, leaving the god and I to ourselves.

I looked up from Jane's journal where she had just scribbled as much as her fingers could muster to relate all of what Thor had told us. "Thirteen," I replied.

"So young!" Thor exclaimed with a widespread grin on his face. "What reason do you have for being on this scientific journey?"

I laughed at his funny but welcoming demeanor. He made me extremely comfortable around him even though I had just met him a few days earlier. "I actually have no reason to be here," I teased. "Jane is my aunt, and I like to come out here to visit her when I can since she lives so far away."

He nodded in understanding before saying, "Your parents let you come all the way out here just to visit your aunt?"

"They know I like space stuff so they thought it would be good for me to learn from my aunt since she is an expert in space."

"An expert in space?" he laughed.

"Yeah," I responded, giggling at my own stupid explanation of her job. "There's a fancy name for what she does, but I don't remember it."

Thor smiled at me as I went back to studying the journal. The wind was picking up, and both Thor and Jane were covered with blankets. Even though New Mexico is known for its simmering hot weather, the nights can get chilly. "Do you not need a blanket?" Thor asked, concerned.

"No," I said while shaking my head. "I don't get cold that easily. I'm fine right now."

Thor continued looking at me with something different in his eyes. He almost looked sad, but I couldn't understand why. I know he was just banished from his home and his family and friends, but it seemed he was remembering or thinking back on something. I closed the journal, setting it beside me on my lawn-chair, looking pointedly at him to which he smiled at.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, "it's just... you remind me of someone I know." The sad look in his eyes returned.

"Who?"

One side of his mouth lifted into a small smile. "My brother," he answered. "You're both so filled with curiosity and the need to learn. He also did not mind the cold."

I shifted closer and put my small hand on his shoulder like I've seen Dr. Selvig do to Jane when she was upset. Thor turned his head to me and chuckled. "What was he like?" I asked. It was a random question that just popped out of my mouth before I could think. I just felt an urge to know more about this other god.

Thor sighed. "Well he's a prankster for starters," he began while he rolled his eyes, making me giggle, "but a master of magic."

"Magic?" I cried out.

"Yes! Magic! He could shift into any form, move things with his mind, create illusions, and all other kinds of magical things." Thor continued to describe his intelligent, raven-haired brother to me, sharing funny stories of him shape-shifting into weird animals to prank his family. By the end of our talk, I could see mentions of his brother brought a smile to his face. He adored his brother. However, before I fell asleep in my chair, I saw a few tears roll down his cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~

Screams became muffled in my head as I tried to process the ruin and destruction before me. A large metal creature came towards us, blasting fire from where its face was supposed to be. Jane and Selvig were helping survivors onto trucks and cars, Darcy was supporting an injured man to a nearby truck, and Thor's space friends were trying to attack the creature, but they were failing. The creature continued to come closer before Thor stepped into the monster's sight and dropped a heavy shield to the ground, making a resounding bang throughout the town that had suddenly fallen silent.

I could see Thor walking towards it, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I could only make out the word "brother." Was this his brother? The one I reminded him of? It couldn't be. The way he described their relationship, they seemed to be as thick as thieves.

The world fell deadly silent for a moment before Thor was thrown back a few yards from a hard hit by the giant creature. He fell to the ground, and blood came from everywhere. He was dying.

We all ran to him. Selvig tried to yell at me to stay back, but I didn't listen. I knelt down by the man who had changed Earth as we knew it and brought laughter to our little trailer. Tears were flowing from my eyes, and I could hear Jane sobbing right next to me. Then, I stood up and turned around to face the monster who had killed my friend. I glared straight at him and clutching my fists together, but my tears betrayed my strong attitude.

The metal giant just simply stared back. It did not move for a few minutes, only staring back at me. I didn't back down either but kept looking through the eye holes- almost as if I could see him. The intelligent, raven-haired god. Loki.

Before I knew it, a loud crack of thunder came from behind me. I turned to see Thor up and healthy, in a weird-looking costume that matched his friends, with his hammer in his hand that he talked so much about. Thor flew right at the monster and destroyed it. He then carried Jane to the site where we first met him, while Selvig drove Darcy and me. He said goodbye to them all before kissing Jane. Then, he turned to look at me. "This is not him, something must have happened," he said determinedly, as if he was convincing himself and not me.

After Thor and his friends were brought back up into the sky, I felt a burning sensation on my wrist. I finally rolled up my sleeves to reveal a dark pattern carved into my skin. I pulled up my other sleeve to see if I had been hurt there too, but there was nothing. I wasn't hurt anywhere else. I only had this... mark. A mark that I couldn't figure out for years. Why did it appear? What did it mean? Afraid to worry Jane over me potentially being hurt, I pulled my sleeve back down and kept the mark a secret for years. Until I finally met him.

Chapter Text

Present Day

 Bang! Bang!

 I let out a frustrated groan. I knew who it was. "I'll be out in a minute!" I yelled back. The banging only stopped for a minute before it began again. 

 Tony had been trying to get me out of my room all morning. He started this obnoxious banging since 5 am, and there was no way in hell I was actually waking up that early. The only thing I was told was that there was a "family meeting" happening soon. A lot of the Avengers would be back from missions so we needed to be prepared to start as soon as they returned. They still hadn't shown up, but I could tell they would be here soon. 

 Bang! Bang! Bang!!

 Tony's knocks were getting louder. I quickly put on a pair of pants and opened the door to a very agitated billionaire. "What the hell Tony?" I exclaimed, walking right past him. I checked the clock in the kitchen and saw it was 7 am. "Tony," I groaned as I started making myself breakfast, "it is a weekend, and I had perfectly relaxing plans for sleeping all morning. What is so damn important?"

 Tony crossed his arms over his chest and simply stood there. He maintained an annoyed and frustrated glare at me as I pulled out the bowls and spoons. I finally stopped what I was doing and stared back, but he wasn't moving. I threw my arms up. "Alright!" I gave up. "What is it?"

"Thank you for finally crawling out of your cave to join us, Dana," he snarked back. I ignored him, though, and focused on my cereal. 

However, when I turned around and looked at the living room behind the kitchen counter, I saw why he was so pissed. All the Avengers were sitting on the couches, looking straight at me. I couldn't tell if they had been waiting for a while, but I prayed it wasn't long. Thor was seated by himself in one of Tony's comfortable chairs, grinning at me like always. No one else looked amused. 

"Dana! We've been waiting for you," Thor greeted me. He was oblivious to the annoyance of the other members at my tardiness and came up to me for a huge hug. I held him tight, having missed him for all these years. 

"What are you doing here?" I inquired incredulously. 

Thor laughed and walked me over to the couches where the rest of the team sat. Everyone seemed to relax a bit more at seeing my reunion with Thor. "I'm here to see old friends, of course!"

I didn't believe him. "But I haven't seen you since..," I drifted off, knowing mentions of that day were probably still too raw for him,"..since New York."

Thor's eyes clouded for a moment. Regret, pain, mourning, and anger all passed through his face in a matter of seconds, but I still saw it. He caught himself and returned to his usual friendly smile. He responded, "It indeed has been way too long, but now it seems there are things we need to discuss. All of us."

I turned to the others, but they too seemed confused about what he was talking about. All except Tony. He just continued looking pissed, and I had a reason to suspect it wasn't just because of my stubborn behavior earlier. He refused to sit down, choosing to stand by the couch were Natasha and Steve sat quietly. He had been uncharacteristically silent during the whole interaction as well, which was always a cause for concern.

Bruce was the first to break the silence. "Thor, what's going on here?" he asked the question on all our minds. 

Thor sighed and smiled at me one more time before beginning. "My... brother," he started, causing everyone to tense up, "has spent years in Asgardian prison."

"Where he belongs," Clint piped up. He was sitting on the floor at Nat's feet, exhausted from having just returned from a mission. 

I shot Clint a glance warning him to be nice. Yes, Loki destroyed half of the city, but Thor still cared for him deeply. 

Truth be told, I wasn't around when the battle was fought. I was tucked up with my family in a completely different state. We watched it all happen on TV like most others did, staying up all through the night to make sure the enemies were defeated. However, I did experience something weird then. Days before the battle, my secret mark began to burn again. Gradually, but enough to gain my attention. Then, when I saw Loki on the TV, my wrist began to burn again like it had in New Mexico. I had to excuse myself and place my arm in cold water for half an hour before it faded.

My mark hasn't burned like that since. 

Thor gulped, dragging our attention back to him. "Yes, I understand, but it seems my mother has pleaded with the Allfather for these past years to give Loki a chance to... rehabilitate." Multiple scoffs were given from around the room. "Odin has agreed."

"You can't be serious?" Steve demanded. "He killed hundreds, destroyed half the city, and brought about an alien invasion that we're still cleaning up after!"

"Steve," Thor said quietly. "I know. But I cannot defy an order from Odin." Steve backed down. It had been clear since we met him that Thor's father was a king that was not to be disobeyed. With Thor's former banishing, we knew he meant business. "And he is also my brother. He got sucked in to evils beyond our understanding, but I can get him back. I can bring him back again."

"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" Nat questioned. 

All eyes were on Thor. 

He couldn't look at us back. Instead he gazed at the carpet. "Thor?" I pushed. "Where is Loki?"

Thor eyes turned soft when they found mine again. I could see that same sadness in him that I saw seven years ago. His life was completely different to what he had planned, and his family was torn apart. Finding out your parents lied to you about your brother's heritage for your whole life along with realizing that same brother wanted to kill you was probably taxing. 

"It has been requested that he is sent here." 

That's when the screaming started. Clint started shouting about how Loki should be dead for his crimes. Steve and Tony argued about whether this was even a plausible idea. Nat tried to calm Bruce down before he had an anxiety attack. Thor stayed silent.

As did I. I continued to sit there and look at Thor. He looked so resigned. His eyes were shut, not wanting to witness the scene before him. The stress had taken a toll on him, and he had no support left. I grabbed his hand and held it between mine, but he didn't move. 

"He's a murderer!"

"He'll be dead the minute he steps foot on Earth anyways..."

"... Fury would never agree..."

The fights weren't stopping.

"Tony," I spoke firmly. Everyone stopped to peer at me. "Tony, we have to help Thor."

No response. 

"Guys, we can't leave this for Thor to handle alone. The Avengers have a responsibility to protect this world, and maybe, giving Loki a chance to redeem himself is a way of protection. I mean look at what he did in New York. It took six of you to defeat him! He's powerful, he's clever, he has allies and enemies across the galaxy. We don't really want another attack coming from him, do we?"

 Thor finally cracked a smile again, silently thanking me by holding my hand a bit tighter. He had needed help all these years, but he never asked. He was always helping us, but now it was time to help him. 

Tony considered what I had said for a moment. Although, Clint did not budge. "Dana, you don't know this guy. He's pure evil. I killed friends because of him!"

I released Thor's hand and stood up from my seat. "Do not dare to assume I don't know this man," I snarled, "because you would be wrong. I have met him- in New Mexico. And I saw it all. He's a powerful being, and, guys, we need him as our ally now more than ever. We've been experiencing increases in alien attacks and supernatural occurrences ever since. We could use a magic-wielder like Loki on our team."

Clint and Nat still thought it was all nonsense, but it appeared that I had gotten through to Tony and Steve. Bruce was still cautious. 

"She's right," Steve spoke up. "We need more help. Each day new alien tech is invented, and people are now getting access to advanced weapons that we can't outgun."

The whole team silently agreed with what he was saying, but Clint still looked furious. It was expected though, since Clint was the only team member to have been made to kill other agents by Loki's scepter. He had moved on and recovered, but we all knew how hard it was for him to even think about that day and what he did.

"Clint, my dear friend," Thor uttered. "Would you believe me if I said that you were not the only victim of manipulation that day?"

This was news to us. Clint's eyes softened a bit, but his muscles were still tense. 

Thor continued, "Loki has admitted to us that he was not in control that day... that a mad Titan had tortured and exploited him for about a year before New York. The monster, Thanos, found him when he fell from the Bifrost."

I sat back down next to Thor, processing all this new information. Everybody was taught that Loki was a bad guy and nothing more, but now... this changes everything. He was being used. 

Before anyone could respond, Thor muttered, "I've seen the scars.... He tells the truth." 

Scars. I could only imagine what kind of physical and mental pain Loki must have been through to have been convinced to invade Earth. Especially when Loki was no mortal man, but a god who had been raised to endure massive amounts of pain. 

"It's decided then," Steve said, getting a supportive nod from Tony. "He may come here."

"But!" Tony interrupted. "He gets one chance, Big Guy. He does something, says something, even thinks of something that harms or jeopardizes others, he is gone."

I could see Thor let out a big sigh of relief. A big portion of his tension and stress rolled off his body now that he finally had help in supporting his brother. No one else looked very happy about it, but we could all see it was what needed to be done. And that was that.

Loki was coming. 

Chapter Text

The compound was in an uproar the next few months getting ready for Loki’s arrival. Tony was more stressed than ever, and it was getting on all our nerves. New and weird tech was being placed into a spare room almost every week. When asked about it, Tony said it was for “safety,” but I knew he was making a cage- one strong enough to hold a god.

Tony wasn’t the only one freaking out over the situation, though. Clint had been hiding himself in his rooms for days at a time, only coming out when Nat dragged him out. He never ate with us anymore or joined in on movie nights. Nat tried everything she could to get through to him, but he wasn’t budging. Bruce and Steve were also on edge, but they seemed to handle themselves pretty well. Bruce spent a lot of the time in his lab because he wanted to try and make some relaxing pills to calm him down if Loki should ever step out of line.

Thor had left the day after the meeting to prepare everything in Asgard, which just left me. I honestly didn’t know what to do or how to feel. Tony didn’t put me on any special assignments or ask me to help with preparations, so I felt bored and lonely. I spent most of my days either in the library or back in my room, though I much preferred the library so I did not have to think.

When I did think, though, my mind ended up spinning in so many circles that I would have to down a few drinks before finally shutting it off.

Loki was coming.

The man in my head. He’s been with me for seven years, and I was finally going to meet him… look at him face-to-face. The last time I had come close to looking in his eyes was when he sent the Destroyer. What would he be like? Would he be as evil as they say? Will he even remember me?

Will he remember me? That was seriously on my mind right now! Out of all the shit I had to worry about, THAT was what was keeping me up at night. His eyes, how they would look at me when seeing me for the first time. How he would perceive me. Thor had said that I reminded him of Loki, but would our personalities align, or would he think I was just another foolish mortal?

The night before the Asgardians arrived, I stayed up all night trying to drown these thoughts out of my head. I kept imagining him, his voice, his eyes. Those green piercing eyes.

Snap out of it, loser. My mind was running on caffeine and alcohol, so I decided to drink some water and cool my head. I went outside into the yard for some fresh air and a moment of clarity. Downing the last of my water, I sat on the porch and closed my eyes. I wanted to feel the cool air just hit me.

“Everything okay?” a voice asked behind me. I jumped. I opened my fists before I realized it was Steve, then settled back down again.

“Jesus Christ, Steve you scared the shit out of me!”

He laughed at that before joining me and sitting beside me. “Sorry about that,” he blushed. “I just noticed you came out here, and since it’s the middle of the night, I figured something might be up.”

“I’m alright, just too much caffeine today, I think.”

I knew he didn’t buy it, but, thankfully, he didn’t push any further. “Tomorrow’s a big day. A lot of things are going to change around here. We’ll all have to be on guard for a bit.”

“Most likely, but we’re doing the right thing. We need this, and he needs it. The way Thor used to talk about him, it just didn’t seem like something he would do. Now we know. It wasn’t him at all, but Thor says he’s still hanging on to a darkness.”

Steve nodded at my ramble, considering it thoughtfully. “You’re right, we do need it. Thor definitely needs it. Maybe we can leave New York behind us once we see Loki again and get closure, especially for Clint.

“It’ll take a while for Clint to get any type of closure,” I muttered, not looking at Steve. “I don’t blame him.”

“Are you nervous to see him?”

I let out a laugh. It was nervous and scared, and Steve could tell. “I…,” I stammered, “I guess I am. More than I thought I would be, actually. I guess it’s just that… well it’s all uncertain. I don’t know what to expect from him or myself. I mean I only saw him in machine form and on TV. I don’t even know what I’ll say.”

“Dana don’t worry,” Steve assured me, “everything will be fine. He won’t do anything without having to go through us first. If he’s as smart as we think, he’ll keep to himself and stay low.”

Possibly. I smiled at Steve before saying goodnight and heading back to bed. Everything would be different tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to loud banging and angry conversations. I hurried out of my room to find out what happened. Surely, Loki hasn’t come yet. Instead, Tony and Bruce were in the kitchen yelling at the last-minute workmen who came early to install the last of the “safety” devices.

I crossed my arms at the scene. “Really Tony? We have to protect the kitchen from him too?”

Tony was surprised to see me up at this time, but with his loud installations and yelling, there was almost a guarantee I would be up now. “Sorry kiddo, we’ll be done soon.” Rolling my eyes, I left to prepare myself for the day. I put on a casual black dress since it was a hot day today, but also because I wanted to feel comfortable. Having pit stains showing on my shirt would not be ideal.

After a few agonizing hours of Tony’s stress and micromanagement, Thor had arrived. We heard the loud rumble of the Bifrost outside our living room. The team looked at each other, no one moving to go meet them outside. We stood there, on edge, for a few minutes before the door opened, and Thor walked in with his brother behind him.

Steve was the first to greet them. I turned to face them and saw Thor in all his fancy armor. Loki was in his too, hands bound by thick handcuffs that I assumed were magical. He didn’t have the muzzle over his mouth as he did in New York, but his lips were closed shut as he didn’t say a word. His eyes were cold, glaring at everyone who came near him.

Clint kept his distance, never saying hello or stepping in Loki’s direction. His eyes were piercing into Loki, analyzing every movement, searching for danger. His muscles were tensed, and his breathing was a bit too fast.

“Dana!”

Thor snapped me out of my thoughts. He was motioning for me to come welcome him, but I couldn’t move. Loki was looking at me.

Steve took my hand and brought me over to Thor. I hugged him tightly, like I always do, but I was shaking. This was scarier than what I imagined. I felt Loki’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t move or let go of Thor. I had never felt so weak.

When I finally did let go, I backed up and turned to Loki. “Welcome back,” I uttered, too quietly.

The corner of his mouth tugged up into a smirk. He continued to stare at me, causing my nerves to shoot off anxiety, so I looked down to the floor. Maybe he’d stop soon and turn his attention elsewhere. But the room was quiet, and everyone was watching him- watching me.

Loki finally spoke. “Nice to see you again, little one.”

Chapter Text

That’s when the burning started.

My left wrist felt like it had caught on fire, my skin sizzling like a grill. I grabbed my wrist, feeling my bracelet covering it still. Ever since the mark appeared, I had worn a wide silver bracelet to hide it from Jane at first, then from everyone.

The burning was intense. More intense than it had ever been. I let out a strangled cry before taking in deep breaths to try to get myself to not make a scene.

“Dana what is wrong?” Thor asked, concern written all over his face. He stepped towards me, but I held out my good arm to stop him.

“I’m fine!” I was gritting through my teeth. “I just think I slept on my arm wrong. Excuse me.”

I ran out of the room and into the nearest bathroom. Before escaping, though, I noticed Loki’s worried and confused expression. He probably thinks I’m crazy.

I turned on the cold water in the sink. I rested my wrist just under the faucet’s head to make sure all the cold water hit it, having flung off my bracelet moments before. The cold rush of water slowly took the sting away, little by little. I ended up staying in the bathroom for almost an hour. Thankfully, no one had followed me and bothered me since.

As the pain became more bearable, Loki’s last words flittered through my mind. Nice to see you again, little one. He remembered me. He called me “little one!” Oh, what have I gotten myself into?

No longer was I groaning from the pain but from the embarrassment of having just rushed out of a greeting with no explanation. I wouldn’t blame him if he thought there was something wrong with me.

I sat down on the ground, taking a close look at my wrist. Why was it burning again? It never burns, not since…. This was all too weird. The mark, Loki, everything. This scar had been haunting me for years now. Its black ink carved into my skin. Its lines drawn in a way as to resemble a snake. Its scorching pain. All of it haunted me.

Finally, I decided to leave my seclusion in the bathroom and try to join the others. Hopefully, no one had died since then.

The team and Loki were sitting in the living room. Tony and Thor were chatting, but I didn’t listen as I looked at him again.

I didn’t even notice Nat standing next to me. “Hey, are you okay?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, sorry, I just took some Advil and relaxed it for a bit. It’s all good now.”

As I walked over to join them, all eyes turned to me again. Everyone thought better than to push me into explaining so they all went back to their conversations. The only one attempting to talk to Loki was Steve.

“We have ground rules here.” Steve’s face was serious, his eyes never leaving Loki’s. “Thor’s told you about them. You break one, there’s consequences. Anything goes wrong or anyone gets harmed, we’ll come for you. Do you understand?”

Loki raised his eyebrows at Steve’s tone. He looked smug, but he didn’t outright smirk or show disrespect. “Yes, Captain, I believe I understand,” he purred so elegantly.

I sat down by Loki and Thor as I took in the room, noticing Clint was very much absent. Probably for the best. Thor winked at me before turning back to Tony. I could only assume they were going over security details and mission assignments for Loki.

Loki’s eyes were on me, I could tell. Never one to shy away from a challenge, I looked behind me and stared back. I took him all in. His long legs, lean muscles, handsome face, those beautiful eyes, and slender fingers. My eyes stopped on his hands.

My mouth turned into a frown. “Thor why are these still on?” I asked, motioning to Loki’s chains.

Everyone stopped. Thor hesitated. “Well of course we can take them off, I just forgot.” His smile slipped at the mention of freeing him. He was scared, too.

I took that moment to get up and stand in front of Loki. “May I?” I asked, looking into his eyes for any warnings. He appeared shocked, but he soon recuperated and nodded at my request. I slid my hand over the Asgardian handcuffs, careful not to touch him. But not careful enough as my hand accidently slid over his, causing shocks to reverberate all over my body. That dreaded burning returned for a second then dissipated. All the while Loki was watching me most carefully.

At last I released his hands from the bonds and returned the chains to Thor. “There, now you’re an Avenger.”

Loki smirked at that. His eyes pierced into mine with neither of us backing down. We both knew everyone was watching us, or most likely, him, but I couldn’t turn away while he refused to.

We were interrupted by Tony. “Alright you know the rules. No lying, no breaking things, no horrible pranks, no dark magic, no harming others, no world domination, nothing. And no touching anything or anyone.” He emphasized that last part as he glared at Loki knowingly.

Loki laughed lightly. “Of course. I will obey all the rules of my most gracious hosts.” His words were dripping with sarcasm, but Tony elected to ignore it.

“I’ll show you to your room brother.” Thor stood up and walked down the hallway with Loki trailing behind him. As they turned the corner, Loki looked behind him towards me. There was an amused glint in his eye as he studied me for a quick moment. Then, he was gone.

Suddenly, it felt like the whole room breathed a sigh of relief.

“This is going to be difficult,” Bruce spoke up. “We’re all going to be on edge for the next couple of weeks. I know I’ll be upping my dose of anxiety meds.”

I put my head in my hands, feeling randomly exhausted after such a small interaction. “You got any extra?”

Tony strolled over to me, taking me gently by the arm into the kitchen. I looked at him in confusion. “Stay away Dana,” he warned. “He’s dangerous, I don’t need to tell you that. But also, I don’t like the way he looks at you. I don’t want him near you, touching you, thinking of you-“

“Okay thank you Dad,” I joked. Tony sighed. He was overstressed and overworked, clear bags forming under his eyes, but whenever I told him to rest he refused. His body wouldn’t let him rest- not yet.

“Tony, I know what he’s capable of. And I’m more than capable of handling him, but I promise I’ll keep my distance and be careful.”

That seemed to please him. He gave me a playful push, a smile returning to his face.
Since I had come here years ago, Tony had taken over as my parental figure. He always had a soft spot for me, and I got away with things no one else could. So, I could understand why he was protective over me with Loki here. But he had no reason to be. I was of no interest to Loki.

~~~~~~~~~~

That night at dinner, Loki was forced to join us. He didn’t join in any conversation even when Thor pushed him. He ate in silence. At the opposite end was Clint. He seemed a bit calmer, but every now and then he would peek at Loki in suspicion.

When everyone went to different rooms to entertain themselves for the rest of the night, Loki stayed in the living room. He paced around, studying the details of the building and Tony’s tech.

I was on the couch reading my new book. I tried to ignore him and focus on the story, but he grew bored and began fidgeting.

“You enjoy reading, don’t you?” I asked.

He considered me for a moment. “Yes, I enjoy books very much,” he answered, matter-of-factly.

Walking over to the bookshelf, I grabbed one my favorites, one I thought he might like or at least not hate. “Here try this one.” I handed it to him, being more cautious this time to not make physical contact.

He looked over the cover silently. Then he sat down on the couch and opened the book to read it. I smiled at the fact that he accepted my choice. I sat beside him and reopened mine.

After a while, with the silent noise dragging on between us, I was simply not able to concentrate. Something was bugging me. “You remember me?” I finally asked.

Loki looked up from his book, confused by my question. “Yes, we have met before.”

“I know, but I’m just surprised you recognized me. I was young back then.”

Loki smirked at me. “How could I forget the face of a girl who stared so fearlessly at me in a time of chaos?” With that he returned to his book, his face still having a hint of a smile.

He knew who I was. Yet, there was no way he thought I was fearless. I remember being scared shitless as I challenged him. But he didn’t mention it at all. Maybe he thought the act itself was fearless. Maybe I was.

Chapter Text

The next few days were less eventful. Everyone seemed more comfortable with the new change, and normal life continued. Well as normal as it could be. Currently, Nat, Clint, and Steve were out on a mission to Germany to take out secret cells against SHIELD. Bruce and Tony were busy in their respective labs doing all kinds of tech work. Everything was quiet.

Loki kept to himself. No one had really seen him since that first night, although Thor checked in on him almost hourly to confirm he was behaving. We didn’t know what he was up to.

I also secluded myself for a while, but that was nothing new. I hung out with Thor every day to either catch up or play Tony’s weird tech games. Most of the time, though, I was in the library. Tony had this enormous library full of every kind of book- it was my peaceful spot.

I went there daily to try and flee from all my thoughts, but it was useless. The shine of my silver bracelet mocked me constantly. What was on my wrist? Why did it look like a snake? And why did it burn?!
Taking the bracelet off, I decided to study it more closely on day. I gently traced the carvings on my skin, still a bit tender from the recent burning. The snake was long, outlined in black. Suddenly, I noticed it wasn’t just one snake but two, positioned as exact parallels of each other with their tails entwined.

I didn’t understand it. What possible reason could there be for this to be carved into MY skin? Obviously, this wasn’t a result of an injury. This was almost a tattoo-like carving, except it seemed to have been a part of my skin rather than put on like a regular tattoo.

This was all too crazy. I was so mesmerized by this discovery, having never really looked at it this close before. The thought of understanding this mark and not liking what it meant was too much for me, so I never dared studied it. I always assumed it had something to do with my curse, but this had no link to it.

“Am I interrupting?”

I jumped straight out of my street and quickly hid my hand behind my back. Loki was standing there, concern etched onto his face.

“No,” I breathed, still startled, “I was just… just looking at a former injury.”

“Ah.” He came closer while I turned around to put my bracelet back on. “Is that why you wear that?”

Shivers were running down my spine. I stammered. “What can I help you with?”

Loki accepted the change of conversation. He handed me the book I had given to him on his first night. “You have good taste,” he commended. “I enjoyed it thoroughly. I even read it twice.”

I almost blushed from his praise. I hadn’t expected him to like it that much, but I was proud that he had. “If you like that one, then you’ll love this one.”

I sauntered over to the bookshelf right behind him. Stepping on my tiptoes, I barely grabbed a book from a high shelf. The cover was a little dusty, so I blew it off before giving it to him. “It’s an old one, but I have a feeling you enjoy old things.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Is that your way of calling me old?”

“Oh no! Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that. Ugh, I’m stupid, what I meant is that you like traditions and history.” My face was surely red by now, and there was nowhere to hide.

Loki was smiling at my stuttering. “I was teasing, little one,” he laughed. “You are correct that I do enjoy history. Do you?”

He was actually asking me about what I liked? I was so shocked it took me a moment before answering. “Yes! I do enjoy history. In fact, I’m studying it in school right now. Well, online school but still.”

He appeared interested. “What about history fascinates you?”

“Everything. Learning about our history is the key to understanding us now.”

He nodded, that amused look back in his eyes. “Particular kind of history that interests you?”

“Uh, yes, history of the Middle Eastern region on Earth.”

“Why that region?”

He was trying to get answers from me, but I couldn’t figure out why. Nothing about my personal life was of any use to him. “Well, you know my name is Dana. It’s an Arabic name, meaning ‘the most beautiful pearl.’ My father came here from Lebanon so that history is my history.”

He didn’t laugh or interrupt. Instead, he listened intently to everything I said, almost looking interested. But there was no way!

“You do have a beautiful name,” he complimented me.

Laughing, I responded, “To some it is. Sometimes I wish I had a more normal name, though.”

“Why would you ever wish that?”

“Because it singled me out. In school when teachers called on me, sometimes they would get my name wrong. Sometimes it led to teasing. Nothing too bad, but I always felt… other.”

He looked thoughtful for a minute, gazing into my eyes. Those eyes could kill me, I was sure of it. They never looked at me or through me but into me, and it was terrifying.

“Well, I think it is a very unique name, which makes it even more beautiful,” he purred. He was good at this. His smooth smirk returned, and I had to drop eye contact, biting my lip.

There was a long pause of awkward silence. I prayed he would leave, but he continued to stand there. I had to say something. “Are you comfortable in your rooms?”

Loki appeared amused by that question. It was a stupid question. Of course he wasn’t comfortable here! He was surrounded by people who hated him and a long way from home.

“Yes, very comfortable. Thank you.”

“Well I had nothing to do with it really. It was Tony while I just bothered him about the noise.”

He chuckled. “I’m sorry the preparations for my arrival were so loud.”

I rolled my eyes. “It wasn’t that bad. As long as I can sleep peacefully at night, I’m satisfied.”

“And have you been?”

I sat back down on my favorite chair and retrieved my book from the stand. “Quite well.” I smiled at him, realizing I was enjoying his company. And he might have even enjoyed mine. “You should join me. It’s a big library with barely any visitors. We could use some new company.”

With that, Loki took a seat on the chair across from me. “I’d be happy to,” he said kindly.

Chapter Text

I woke up that next morning still in the library. I had moved to one of the big cushy couches during the night to make myself more comfortable but ended up passing out. My book had fallen on the floor, its pages opened and ruffled. Stretching out my legs, I noticed something strange.

There was a blanket on me. I distinctly remember not having a blanket on me because I decided to put on a little sweater instead when I got cold.

I looked around, but Loki was long gone. He probably made it to his rooms and slept there like a reasonable person. Why would he be nice to me?

I sat up and put my head in my hands; I had to get my bearings together. I checked my phone and saw it was almost ten in the morning. I had to get breakfast before my stomach decided to eat itself. I was starving.

Tony and Thor were in the kitchen having a serious conversation. I snuck past them towards the fridge and started to make myself some cereal.

“Thor, this may end badly!” Tony hissed.

I looked over my shoulder at the two and realized the discussion must have turned very serious because Tony’s veins were showing. He was upset.

“Stark, this is what we brought him here to do,” Thor pleaded.

“Not gonna happen. Not yet.”

“That’s not just your call to make.”

I couldn’t stop myself. “What call?”

They both stopped simultaneously and turned to me. Tony straightened himself up as if to try to hide his frustration from me. “Nothing-“

“No, it is something,” Thor interrupted. “There have been sightings of alien activity north, and the mission could be dangerous. We need to bring Loki.”

“Who is not ready or trusted enough to be on a mission!” Tony snapped.

Thor glared at him, not understanding Tony’s hesitation. “He is an asset.”

“He is a liability.” Tony then stormed out of the kitchen, leaving a thick tension in the room.

Thor sighed, sitting beside me. “Loki’s powers give us an advantage. We may need him out there today.”

That brought me out of my tiredness. “Today?” I exclaimed. “You guys are leaving today?!”

After Thor nodded, I ran out of the room to follow Tony. He wasn’t in his rooms, the living room, or the lobby. Only other place he would be—his lab. I raced to the basement, quickly entering a 4-digit code that would open the glass doors.

“Take me with you!”

Tony was surprised by my sudden appearance, dropping his tools on the metal table. “That is out of the question.”

“Why? I’ve been here for years, training and learning. I am ready!”

“No, you’re not. You’re still just a child.”

I moved closer to him as if that would help him understand. “A child with abilities! I could protect you.”

Tony went back to tinkering. He wasn’t even considering my thoughts or suggestions. Everything I said just rolled off him. “Or you could get killed,” he responded blankly.

I laughed at that. “We both know that’s a little hard to do, Tony, so why aren’t you letting me help?”

At this point I was getting loud, and I was getting to Tony. To the point where he snapped. “Because you could kill somebody else!” he screamed at me.

I took a step backwards. My stomach had dropped, and I could feel my heart stop. “You could kill a civilian,” he continued yelling, “or the wrong person! You could kill one of us!”

Tears escaped my eyes. Finally, the truth is out. This is what he had been thinking of the whole time I was locked in here. I wasn’t here to train. I was a prisoner.

“And how long…” I stammered, fighting back tears, “did you plan to keep me locked up in here with nothing to do?”

He realized then what he had said, what he had confessed. He sighed. “Dana, I didn’t mean it like that-“

“No!” I yelled. “You meant it. Trust me, you meant it.”

I heard Tony calling after me, but I didn’t stop as I walked out of his lab and up the stairs to the main floor. I didn’t know where I was going. My room just felt like a cell to me now. The living room and training areas were full of teammates. Not my teammates.

I ended up back in the library. I kept walking until I hit the window that locked out into the yard.

Then I broke down. I hit the window repeatedly, sobbing and yelling, but not even making a scratch on Tony’s bullet-proof, God-proof glass. Finally, I gave up and fell to the floor.

I was never meant to be an Avenger. I was meant to stay away from society to PROTECT society. I was a nuke, an explosion that could harm thousands. They never trusted me, just like they didn’t trust Loki. We were outsiders.

Silent footsteps came from behind me. Quickly I stood up and turned to face the intruder. It was Loki.

He was staring at me with worry all over his expression. His eyebrows were knitted in concern, his mouth open a little as if he wished to say something. I tried to dry my eyes as fast as I could, but he still saw the tears.

“What has upset you?” He sounded genuine, but I couldn’t bother to care at that moment.

“Nothing,” I uttered, “nothing just the usual stuff of not being trusted or supported by people who are supposed to be your family.”

He nodded in understanding. “I think I can relate to that.”

I smiled at him. He wasn’t doing much, but his presence was helping immensely. My heart rate got back to normal, and I started to calm down. “So, what brings you back to the library?”

“Oh.” He had forgotten all about his task. “I thought I would return this to you before I left.”

“Left?”

“Yes.” He frowned. “I’m being sent on a mission.”

My heart stopped again. So, they were sending him. My emotions were mixed with worry for him and envy of him. He was at least able to get out in the field and do something that mattered. But I was worried for him. I couldn’t explain why. I just… needed him to come back safe.

I crossed my arms to stop the chill that had been sent through my body. “You’re going with them?”

“So it seems.” His eyes were soft when looking at me. I felt so drawn to them, I could stare at him forever if he let me. “Can I do anything to help?”

“Me?” I chuckled, running my fingers through my hair. “I don’t think anyone can help my situation…. But thank you for trying.” I smiled lightly at him which he returned.

“Here.” I went over to the book that had fallen last night and took out my bookmark. It was nothing special, just an image of a serpent with a green tassel at the end. Handing it to him, I said, “Take this with you. If I can’t go then maybe a part of me can go.”

Loki was startled. He held the bookmark as if it was a precious baby. “You’re trusting me with this?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s just a bookmark. I mean it is my favorite, and I’ll be devastated if you lose it, but it’s not a precious artifact.”

“But you still trust me to carry this throughout the mission?”

“Yes, I trust you. I feel like you’re the only one who wants to carry me with you…” I coughed, realizing what I said, “… I mean carry it with you.”

Loki tucked the bookmark away in one of his chest pockets, making sure it was safe and secure. I felt my heart skip a beat about how much he cared.

“I will return it to you,” he promised.

His eyes wouldn’t leave mine, and I found I could no such thing either. I took him all in. His beauty, his stature, his grace, everything. I looked at his eyes, nose, cheeks, his… lips. I felt a strong pull to him, like I wanted to be near him. He wasn’t looking away either. Maybe he felt it, too.

Suddenly, Thor called on Loki to hurry up. Before I knew it, the handsome prince was out the door, leaving me behind.

Chapter Text

I spent the next few days in an alcoholic depression. My days mostly consisted of sleeping while my nights were filled with tears and liquor. The conversation with Tony just replayed in my head for hours on end. I was never meant to help the Earth. I was a danger to earth.

I stayed in my room most of the time, only leaving for food. I was scared that if I left it, I would cause an accident. I couldn’t afford another of those. Not right now.

Then I would think of Loki. His rare smiles and his eyes, they made me feel better. I couldn’t explain it really. But also, there was a worry growing. What if he was hurt on the mission or worse? I should be there to at least help them, maybe protect them. Protect him. I don’t know how he got to me so easily. Just being near him was ecstasy sometimes.

I ditched my bottles into the trash and downed some water. I was sober now, even though I was never really drunk since my body can tolerate a lot with my curse. I cleaned up my room a bit, knowing Tony or Steve would kill me to see my room like this. Tony… why should I even care?

Suddenly, the front door busted open. I ran out to see Thor and Steve carrying Loki inside. He was bleeding everywhere. His side had a gash in it the size of a baseball.

“Get him to the hospital room!” Tony shouted.

They all followed him and exited the living room quickly. I was in a state of shock. Seeing Loki like that had stopped my heart. I couldn’t move. Inside I was screaming in panic. He can’t die. He can’t! I need him…

I ran to the hospital room where the doctors Tony had hired to work for us were disrobing Loki to inspect the wounds. His wounds were many. His head had taken a hit and his shoulder looked funny.

“Why isn’t he healing?” Bruce asked Thor. Everyone in the room was extremely concerned.

“He is, but the knives were magical,” Thor muttered. “It takes longer… too long.” Thor wasn’t crying, instead his face was stern, watching the doctors every move to make sure they took the best care of his brother. He was standing by the glass doors to give the doctors space, but his view was unimpeded. He made sure of it.

Natasha suddenly pulled all of me and Clint out of the room. She told Clint to report what happened to Fury so that next measures could be taken soon.

“Nat,” I called. “What happened?”

She sighed. Her face was also bruised up, a few knife slashes along her body but only surface deep. “They trapped us,” she whispered. “They had powerful weapons, nothing we had ever seen. Clint was about to… about to be ganged up by five of them with shooters and swords. Loki teleported in front of him, taking the full force and fighting them off. Some escaped, though. They got through Bruce.”

I was shocked. Loki sacrificed himself for Clint. “He saved Clint?” I asked, incredulous. She nodded, then hurried off to follow Clint.

I was left standing there. He did that… for Clint. My heart swelled for his bravery. It didn’t last long, however, when I remembered what Thor said. He might not be able to heal in time.

I choked on a sob. My eyes swelled up anyways, and I covered my mouth with my hand to let it out silently. I needed him to survive.

~~~~~~~~~~

I waited outside the hospital room all night with Thor. The staff was checking on him every half hour, but he hadn’t responded yet. He was still unconscious but breathing

“He’s a fool,” Thor muttered under his breath.

I grabbed his hand and laid it on my lap. I gave him a weak smile, and while he tried to return it, his eyes were full of grief. “He was a hero,” I encouraged.

“He’s my brother, I can’t lose him. I’ve already lost him once.”

I tightened my grip on his hand. “Thor,” I said firmly. “You won’t lose him. You won’t.” He gave my hand a squeeze in return to let me know he had heard me.

He needed me by his side, and I was happy I could offer any type of support. Eventually we got more comfortable in our seats, laying our heads on one another and almost drifting off to sleep.

Before we could fully fall asleep though, one of the doctors came out and shook us awake. “He is awake.”

Thor leaped out of the chair and ran inside while I followed behind. Loki was laying in the bed, his torso covered in gauze with blood seeping through. His hair was a messy tangle. His body was full of sweat, his lips chapped, and his eyes a dull blue color. He looked like hell.

“Brother.” Thor went up to Loki and checked on him. “How are you feeling?”

Loki rolled his eyes at his brother’s concern. “I’m fine,” he coughed, barely able to speak.

He saw me in the doorway. I smiled at him, happy that he was recovering. Thor followed Loki’s eyes to me and smugly grinned.

I took a few steps closer and crossed my arms awkwardly as I stood there. “I’m glad to see you alive,” I teased. Loki smirked at that.

Then he pulled his arm out of the bed sheet, causing alarm to Thor. “Brother what do you need?” Loki ignored him and simply pointed at his armor. He was wanting me to check his armor.

I went over slowly and checked a few pockets before finding my bookmark, unharmed and in perfect condition.

“Told you… I would… keep it… safe.” I turned to him, stunned and touched. Even while he was being blasted to heaven, he saved my token. A few tears escaped my eyes, but I hurriedly rubbed them away.

Taking a deep breath, I muttered, “Thank you, Loki.”

Thor was watching us carefully, making me blush. He was grinning from ear-to-ear. I was so close to slapping him.

Then the worst happened. Loki started to seizure uncontrollably while all the alarms went off. His eyes rolled into the back of his head. The doctors rushed in and pushed us to the side. “His heartrate is going too fast!”

The commotion around me started to dizzy me. I feel as if I could faint. Loki was dying. I knew it as soon as I saw his face turning a light blue.

Chapter Text

The hospital staff was running around me in a frenzy. The monitors hooked up to Loki were beeping wildly, and nothing they did could stop them. Thor and I were thrown out of the room as the rest of the Avengers came running to meet us. Loki’s room was so packed I couldn’t see him anymore except when his body would arch off the bed in a seizure. They couldn’t help him.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked, out of breath.

Thor was right by the glass doors in case he needed to get in. He was also eavesdropping. “They’re saying the knives were poisoned,” he mumbled. His voice was breaking, and I could bet that if he turned around to us, we would see tears. “They injected deadly cells into his body, and they’re multiplying faster than we can kill them. There’s no hope.”

Thor crumbled to the ground, holding his head in his hands. I ran over to him and held him in my arms. His whole body was shaking, and I could hear thunder rumbling outside. “Shh,” I whispered to Thor, hugging him.

One of the main doctors who had been treating Loki was Dr. Cullen. She looked at us, and taking a deep breath, said, “The poisonous cells are taking over his body. There’s no way we can kill them. Their magic is just too powerful, and we’re only just starting to learn about Asgardian anatomy.”

They couldn’t save him here. Even with all their knowledge, we were still just humans. This was a new level, this was magic.

An idea suddenly popped into my head. “Tony,” I yelled. His head whirled to look at me. “I can kill them. I can kill the cells!”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “Absolutely not,” he hissed. “We just started training on that, you could do more damage than help!”

“He’s dying!” I screamed, tears rolling down my cheeks. “What more harm could I do? I can save him, Tony. Maybe you think I was meant for only death and destruction, but I’m not. I can do more.” At the end, my fists were balled up, and I was standing straight, not breaking eye contact. I would not stand down.

Tony was shocked at what I had said. “I don’t think that at all….”

“Then, prove it. Let me try.”

Everyone was silent. I looked to Thor for approval, for even though I believed I could help, there was a chance I would fail, and he would lose his brother forever. Thor knew of my powers, but I don’t think he understood the full extent. They only came in after the Battle of New York.

I was in my yard back at home with my family the next summer. We were at our pool, having another family get-together on a sunny day. My cousins and I had just finished playing volleyball, and while I was sitting on the ground putting my shoes back on, I stopped. I started feeling the grass, curious as to how green and healthy it looked.

Suddenly, the grass turned black and brittle. It was dying. The whole yard started to die. All the plants and leaves were disintegrating before my very eyes, and the source was me! The old oak tree behind our house collapsed, it leaves dried up and its branches broken.

I pulled my hand from the grass, holding it with my other. My family came to see what happened only to see that I was the cause.

And that was the start of it. My powers were to kill. My parents were so afraid of me that they sent me here, practically begged Tony to let me in. He felt so bad for me that he allowed it, and then we became a family. Even though I was cursed.

But now, maybe I could turn it into a gift. Maybe I could help more than hurt.

Thor nodded his head at me. I ran inside and bumped past the hospital personnel. “Stay back!” I warned them. Tony hurried them out of the room.

“You sure about this?” he asked.

“More than anything.”

I pulled down Loki’s blanket to show his torso, especially his wound marks. The big gash on his side looked infected as hell. I slowly and gently put my hand over the wound, feeling Loki twitch a little.

My mark started to sizzle, but I ignored it. I had to save him, nothing else mattered. I focused on the wound, careful not to hurt the rest of his body. I felt a surge of power flow from my hands and into his wound. There was always a black mist that released from my hands when I used my powers, and this time was no different. The wound was soon covered in black.

I concentrated hard on what I needed to kill. I found the cells in his body that were poisoning him and destroyed them. My powers flew from cell to cell in rapid succession, killing off the lethal ones.

When I finally felt his body recover and the cells gone from his system, I brought my powers back in, releasing them from Loki. I felt them come back into me with a push, and I let go of Loki.

Dizziness encased me. I couldn’t hold myself upright, and there was nothing for me to grab onto. I could barely see, as my eyes wanted to shut so badly. What was happening to me? Did I overwork myself? I collapsed, but Tony caught me before I was hurt.

I woke up a few minutes later still in Tony’s arms. “What happened?” I stammered, feeling my forehead.

Tony chuckled. “Using your powers like that will take a lot out of you, kid.”

I smiled at him. Maybe we would be okay after all.

I looked around to see Thor by his brother’s side, gripping his hand and looking over him. “He’s healing!” he shouted to us.

Tony pulled me up, and we went over. Thor was right. Loki’s wounds were closing up by themselves. His heart-rate had slowed down considerably, and there had been no more seizures.

My heart soared. He was coming back to me. Well… he was coming back… not specifically for me. But for whatever reason, I found myself needing him to come back. I needed him.

Maybe I loved him.

I mentally slapped myself for that one. How stupid could I be? I couldn’t love a god who was perfect in every feature and had superior intellect. I was only a mortal.

But that couldn’t stop the feelings. His voice calmed my rushing waters. His smile made my heart leap. His eyes drowned me. I never had a chance.

Loki’s eyes blinked open. He turned to Thor, noticing he was grabbing his hand. “What are you doing?” His voice was weak, but that didn’t stop him from being a little shit.

Thor didn’t drop his hand, though, and hugged his brother tightly. Loki growled at his brother to stop, but Thor was laughing and shaking his head.

I giggled at the sight, happy to see Thor so happy again and Loki so alive again.

Loki noticed me. “Hello little one,” he whispered.

I grinned at him and went in for a hug, too. I mouthed “I’m sorry” to him before which made him smirk.

“How did you manage to bring me back?” Loki asked in wonder.

Thor grinned widely. “That would be our lovely hero, Dana.” He hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek. “She saved you.”

Loki turned to me with curious eyes. He had questions. Lots of them. But I wasn’t sure I would know how to answer them just yet.

“And pray tell, how exactly did you do that sweetling?”

Chapter Text

Sunlight trickled through the windows, illuminating the book I had in my hands. It was on the history of the Assyrian Empire in Mesopotamia. I needed something to draw my mind away from the events of the past three days. Reading always calmed me down.

The doctors had kept Loki in the hospital room for observation. They wanted to be absolutely sure that no other seizures or accidents would occur. But he seemed fine. Thor was with him every hour to hear his whining about being kept as a lab rat.

Clint visited once. He didn’t say much, only asked to see if Loki was okay then left. It was a start.

The other Avengers came in and out bringing food and drinks. They seemed to have accepted him as an ally at the least, and they didn’t treat him as an outcast anymore.

Meanwhile, I brought him books to keep him occupied, which Thor was always thankful for. He hadn’t asked me about my powers since, even though I dodged the question because the doctor interrupted us. I had a feeling he hadn’t dropped it but simply saving it for a better time. I wasn’t looking forward to it.

Another issue was my mark. It was burning like crazy again, on and off for three days. It was like the intimate contact I made with Loki set off an explosive inside my wrist. I kept looking for things to soothe it, but it was all temporary. I even went to Bruce, lying that it was a kitchen accident with a knife, to see if he had any anecdotes. Nothing worked.

I put a cool bandage around my wrist in place of the bracelet now. I explained it all away to the team, but I couldn’t keep the act up for longer. Kitchen cuts don’t bleed for days. The bandage had to come off soon, but it calmed the burn if only for a slight bit.

“Dana,” a voice called to me. Tony walked in front of my chair and sat down on the couch next to me. I had never seen him in the library before, assuming he had read everything already. “Can we talk?”

I hadn’t exactly been avoiding him the past few days, but I just couldn’t feel comfortable in the same room. What if he still saw me as a monster?

“Sure.” I put the book down, settling in my seat more comfortably.

Tony sighed. “Listen, I realize what I said to you last week was… bad. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. God, I didn’t mean it at all. I just want you safe and protected, not because you’re a monster but because you’re family.”

“You said I would never be an Avenger,” I started.

“I meant… that you weren’t ready. Maybe I was wrong, but Dana if something were to go wrong, what would the world see you as?”

“You’re worried about what the world thinks? Since when?!”

“Since you were thrown into my life! I want to protect you not just from physical harm but from emotional damage, and having the world hating you counts as that.”

“I’m not worried about their opinions.”

“Yeah, well you should be.” He looked me dead in the eyes. “Their opinions mean everything. They can take away your privileges, your rights, your life. If they don’t like what they see, they will push back.”

“Well then I’ll just have to do my best to not piss off the whole damn world. Sounds easy enough.”

“I’m serious Dana! One wrong move, one innocent life taken, they will be at the gate.” His words were sinking in. He was leaning forward, making sure he had my full attention. “Can you honestly say
you’re ready?”

I stuttered. “I… I saved Loki’s life.”

“One life, not in the midst of heavy battle,” he interrupted.

I blanked at that. He was right, I wasn’t fully ready for battle. I could control my powers in a controlled environment, but a real fight was different. And if civilians were around… things could go south for me very quickly.

“Dana, let us keep training you,” he pleaded. “Don’t give up on us yet. You’re here for a purpose, not for imprisonment. We just need a little more time.”

I nodded, defeated. I couldn’t reject the one man who had stuck by my side through all of this.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

He stood up and gave me a big hug. I held him tight, almost tearing up at his love for me. We were all each other had most of the time.

“And another thing,” he added, “Loki is back in his rooms. He’s been released by the medical staff; they say he’s in the clear. You did well kid.”

I smiled at his words but also at the confirmation that Loki was okay. I let out a breath I feel I had been holding in for days.

Before Tony walked out of the library, he turned to me, smirking. “And he wants to see you.”

“See me?” I exclaimed.

Tony shrugged. “Evidently so. But if he gets too friendly, I’ll kick his ass.”

Chuckling, I stood up to follow him. We parted ways when he turned to go to the lab and I kept straight to the resident area.

I felt my heart skipping a few beats. What could Loki want? He was probably going to interrogate me on my powers now that he was able to be alone in his rooms again. I had no idea what I was going to say to him. I wasn’t confident in my ability to lie to the God of Lies’ face. Surely, he would know!

The walk to his rooms seemed far too short, but there I was. I took deep breaths, willing my heart and mind to steady so I could be more composed in front of him. But I was also facing the issue of calming my heart from the excitement of seeing him.

I had a crush! What was this? It didn’t seem like an ordinary crush. Feeling so intensely for someone so fast. And a god at that, who wouldn’t think of me like that in a million years. But there was something there, between us. I swear I felt it. Did he?

Okay, Dana calm down. It was time. I knocked on the door, eager and dreadful of the next step. The burning in my wrist made an appearance. It was like it could tell when he was near, like it wanted something. But what?

I scoffed at myself. This was all silly, just romantic notions in my head getting out of control. The burning was something medical, and it needed to stop soon. Very soon.

I heard footsteps approaching the door. I breathed in as much air as I could take in, praying that this was just a “thanks for saving my life” conversation. But doubtful.

Suddenly, the door opened.

Chapter Text

“Hello, little one,” Loki’s smooth voice welcomed me in.

I stepped into his room and saw he had made himself at home. His whole room was decorated with colors of green, black, and a splash of gold. His room was simple but neat. He had a few trinkets on his desk along with paper and ink, and several books on his shelves. His bed was huge, covered with furs that made it look insanely comfortable to sleep in.

“Chinchilla hair,” he answered my unspoken question. “Some of the softest hair on Midgard.”

“You just had it get chinchilla blankets, did you?” My tone was snarky, incredulous at the unnecessary blankets.

Loki chuckled and moved deeper into the room. He sat on one of the chairs by the fireplace, which wasn’t burning at this time of year.

“I did not ask for it. Nay, my brother gave it to me as a gift. I guess as a way of saying, ‘Yes you are a prisoner but here are some soft blankets to forget about it.’”

I grinned at his honesty. He could see right through every gesture, especially Thor’s.

“A prisoner that did harm thousands,” I pointed out, taking the seat next to him.

“Ah, yes, that. However, I did not ask you here to discuss my past affairs.”

“Why did you ask for me?”

I sat up straighter in my seat, ready for the oncoming interrogation. I would have to lie. I would have to dance around every question, maybe answering with my own questions. I would have to pull out every trick in the book, even though Loki most likely WROTE the book.

He grinned at my obvious anxiety. “Do not fret, little one,” he purred. It didn’t calm me down. “I won’t force you to answer anything you don’t feel comfortable with.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he promised.

I nodded. “Alright then, what is it?”

Loki stood from his seat and faced me. Then he pulled up his shirt to show me his scarred side from where the sword had hit him and nearly killed him. It had healed pretty well, but my powers weren’t an exact science so there would be scarring from the dead flesh I accidentally hit.

“My wound has healed nicely,” he commented casually. “Thanks to you, I should add.”

“I didn’t do much,” I assured him, not looking into his eyes anymore. “It was more of a team effort.”

“Yes, well I don’t precisely believe that so forgive me.” He let his shirt fall back down, covering the scar. He went over to fetch some tea he had been brewing because of course he had that around.

He handed me a cup, still smiling. I drank in silence at first, waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. “Well I’m sorry to say it’s the truth though.”

He let out a small snicker. “Darling, I know you probably thought you were going to come in here and lie to me, but there’s no need. I know you have abilities, but it is your choice on whether or not to disclose them to me.”

I sighed, putting the cup down on the table next to me. He was giving me a choice; I could walk out of this room and leave him confused. But I couldn’t. I think he knew that, too.

Maybe he deserved an explanation for his resurrection from certain death to cope. I wasn’t sure. But the one thing I knew is that I couldn’t walk out of the room and ignore the man that I cared for.

I folded my arms in my lap to stop my fidgeting. I shot a quick glance over to him before looking back down again.

“Yes,” I admitted with a breath. “I have abilities, and they helped save your life.”

He looked interested and nodded for me to continue.

Closing my eyes, I blurted, “I’m different from other mutants. I don’t have cool powers that can create fire or ice or anything. I can’t create anything really. I was cursed instead with immense power that was only made for destruction. My hands don’t help, they destroy. I can kill thousands in the blink of an eye, rather than save them. I’m not a superhero but a monster that’s being caged.”

I waited for him to be disgusted at me. Instead he leaned forward and nodded again for me to keep going.

I took a breath. “I almost killed the people I loved, so they brought me to Tony. He took me in and tried to train me, help me control my powers, but I know what I really am. If I’m not an Avenger well then, I’m a weapon, and that’s how most will see me. So, I hide away… from the world… from people. The world doesn’t need another nuke.”

I chanced a look at him. All I could see was understanding. There was no pity, or anger, just simple understanding. He knew what I meant—what it was like to be thought of as a monster.

A tear fell down my cheek suddenly. I brought my finger up to it and inspected the drop, surprised I had started crying. I didn’t even feel it coming on.

“I don’t know what will happen to me here—if I’ll become an Avenger or stay hidden forever. It’s unclear to me, and I think to the others as well. It’s a new path we’re on together, and I try to stay patient but… I need to live.”

Then, he did the unexpected.

His hand softly touched my arm, rubbing it lightly to say he recognized my situation. My mark spurted to life with a renewed burning, but I tried to forget about it. His hand on me felt too good. I couldn’t risk losing this moment, may it be the last time he touches me like this again. My skin was becoming goose-flesh, and my heart was aflame.

“I do not see you as a monster, Dana,” he muttered to me sincerely. He looked into my eyes but did not let go of my arm. “You saved my life by destroying the disease within me. No monster would do that. No, I see something stronger. Perhaps stronger than I.”

I chuckled. “How could I be stronger than you?”

“You have the world in your hands, yet you choose to keep it running, to keep it filled with life. Not many in your position would make the same choice. Power is not just the ability to do something, it is the ability to do something harmful yet choose not to.”

His words hit me more than I expected them to. He was calling me, a simple Arab girl from the suburbs, a more powerful being than himself.

Unfortunately, he dropped his hold on my arm to collect something from his desk. He brought it back to the seating area and opened the leather flaps to reveal a dagger. The blade shone in the dimly-lit room like a beacon and sharp to the touch.

The bottom was fashioned in gold with a pattern on it I couldn’t make out in the poor lighting.

“My mother gave this to me when I was but a small child,” he recalled, looking at the blade fondly and smiling to me. “She told me that since I was growing up, I needed to start making decisions. I was to be a prince and possibly king, so I had to learn—when to use the dagger and when not to. Then, she said, I would know that mercy, too, can be powerful.”

He handed me his precious blade. I carefully held it in my hands, inspecting the blade. He watched me with a grin as I observed it with wonder and awe. It was gorgeous to be sure.

My eyes moved from the tip of the dagger to the handle. The gold was definitely real, which explained why it was super heavy. There were engravings in different colors.

When I saw what was on it, I dropped it on the couch. I hurriedly stood up, shaking and huffing. “I’m sorry,” I sputtered before running as quickly as I could down the hall to my room. I heard Loki call my name in the back of my mind but paid it no heed.

I reached my room and slammed the door shut. My heart was pounding so hard that I felt ready to burst. I found that my legs were jelly, and I fell to the floor by my door. I brought my left hand up to feel my head and wipe the little sweat that had gathered there from nerves and running.

I looked at my hand then and brought it back down to eye level. Gently, I took the bracelet off and placed it slowly next to me. Turning back to my wrist, the mark was still there, clear as day and still tender from the burning.

What was happening to me? Everything about this seemed impossible, but no logical explanation could be found for why the pattern on my wrist matched the one on Loki’s dagger.

Why did I burn when I touched him?

My heart fluttered, and I leaned back against the door. Nothing made sense to me anymore, but everything was pointing me to Loki. I just wouldn’t accept it yet. Loving him was preposterous. And loving me was out of the question for him!

Love. Tears were flowing regularly now. Yes, love. I had never felt it before, but in my small time with the god, I had come to feel a connection and bond stronger than any I had experienced before.

But he considered me a friend, right? That’s what we were, at least acquaintances. Oh, what he would think when he saw my mark! He would believe I was an obsessed, love-sick girl. I could not tell him or anyone for that matter.

I mean, even I could barely accept the fact that I was destined for Loki.

Chapter Text

“So why did you run out on Loki?”

I had been sitting in the living room where I knew Loki frequently avoided. Yes, I was ignoring him. But apparently, he had been asking around about me, and that led to Tony coming to sit by me the next day.

I shrugged, not making eye contact. “I wouldn’t call it ‘running’ exactly, more of a fast walk.”

The corner of his mouth curved up into a smile. He knew something was up, and he was going to do everything in his power to find out.

“Did he scare you?”

“No!”

“Did he try to kiss you?!”

At this suggestion, my whole face went red. Tony looked serious and a little worried when asking. He had told me from the start to stay away so I’m sure a crush on Loki was exactly what he didn’t want to
happen.

“No!” I leaped to my feet and tried to walk away.

“JARVIS close the door.” At his command, all the doors for a clear exit were shut and locked. I groaned. I hated when he did this; it made me feel like a prisoner in our own house. Well, I was a prisoner, but I felt it now more so than before.

“Tony!” I exclaimed. “We talked about me not being a prisoner and yet here we are!”

He ignored my accusations and continued to stay seated on the couch. “Dana, talk to me. Why did you leave in such a hurry?”

I sighed. There was no way I could keep completely silent without Tony thinking Loki had hurt me in some way, which was the opposite of the truth.

But I couldn’t tell him about the mark. No way. He already viewed me as different, and I didn’t want to give him another reason to keep me from being an Avenger.

So, I had to pick the hard way out. The truth.

“Okay, fine! I have a teensy tiny crush on him…”

“Dana!”

“But it’s not a big deal! He wouldn’t ever like me back. It’s just an infatuation!”

He didn’t respond. He checked me over, my flushed face, my downcast eyes, my shaking hands. He could see right through me, I was sure.

“That’s all it better be,” he said sternly.

When he left I took a huge gulp of breath. He obviously didn’t believe me fully but thank god he let it go. However, I knew he was going to watch me more closely, along with Loki. I groaned at that. Loki had just gained some sort of freedom, and I had probably taken it away from him

God, I’m a mess.

I decided to lock myself into my rooms when JARVIS finally unlocked the doors (which took a minute of arguing since he was being a little asshole yet lovable). I lied on my bed and took a short nap before I was called for dinner.

Thor got me this time. We went to the kitchen and ate with the rest of the team. I almost froze on the spot when I saw Loki there, but Tony’s eyes were on me and I couldn’t make a scene.

What was worse is that the only seat open was right next to him. How poetic. I glared at Tony feeling he had a part in this. He didn’t give anything away except for the amusement in his eyes. Oh, how I wanted to hit him.

I took my seat and tried to concentrate on the Chinese food Steve had ordered for us. It went without incident until Loki believed everyone was yelling over one another enough that he could speak to me without being heard.

“May I ask why you ran from me the other day?” he asked without looking up from his plate of food, acting casual. Maybe he knew we were being watched, too.

I took a bit of sesame chicken. “I forgot that I had to call my parents,” I lied. “They… would have killed me if I missed another scheduled Facetime.” I laughed it off as if I was being silly.

Loki kept eating and not looking at me. Then said, “I thought we agreed to no lying.”

“I don’t necessarily remember agreeing to it, only that you said it was in my best interest not to.”

“It is.”

“That may be so, but I believe I know better than most what is in MY best interest—”

Loki chuckled slightly. “Miss Bahar, you are most fascinating.”

“I would say that I am impressed you learnt my last name, but then again, it was never a secret.”

“I did not intend for it to come off as such. I simply mean to point out that you, my darling, are extremely intriguing.”

I rolled my eyes. I was intriguing to him because I was powerful. Not that I would let him use me in such a way, but that’s where my mind wandered to when looking for a reason as to why he thought me interesting.

“I’m sorry to say that I am rather boring,” I commented back.

Only Thor realized that Loki and I were engaging in a battle of wits. His small smile and constant looks at us gave his position away easily. The rest of them were thankfully occupied in an argument over who was the best cook in the tower.

“Doubtful,” he purred. “To me, you’re a diamond in the middle of this filthy planet.”

Was that a compliment? He called me a diamond… WHAT?

“Thank you?” It came out as a question, unsure of his intentions.

“It was meant as a compliment little one,” he laughed.

“You know, I’m not so little anymore,” I snapped back.

Finally, Loki turned to me for the first time that night and looked me in the eyes. “To me you are, little one.”

When dinner was over, I was headed to the library to pick up a new book for the night. The conversation between Loki and I at dinner was still replaying in my head. I was imagining things, right? He was being… different with me.

As I was contemplating his strange behavior, I was stopped by a strong hand holding my wrist just above my bracelet. My heart started pulsating.

“Meet me outside in the gardens tonight, little one. I would like to have a word with you in private.”

Then just like that, Loki was gone.

Chapter Text

It was chilly outside. The moon was a waxing crescent, and the breeze would pick up speed every so often. I was wearing only sweatpants and a long-sleeved sleep shirt with a blanket wrapped around my arms. I had to pretend I was only going outside for a bit of fresh air to stop JARVIS from sounding any alarms.

It was almost midnight. I had been early, too anxious to sleep or simply wait in my room. I came outside hoping the chill would try to clear my head.

My heart hadn’t slowed down its pace since Loki grabbed me in the hallway. My throat clogged with the thought of what he wanted to talk about. I had done nothing wrong, right? Maybe I offended him by running out. Was he going to punish me?

The crunching of leaves stopped my racing thoughts. Someone was coming. Loki appeared out of a bush, the moonlight shadowing his face at first.

“I see you got here early,” he teased. He grinned when he saw me; I could see his bright smile in the darkness.

I crossed my arms defensively. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Aye, neither could I.”

He stood in front of me. He was wearing normal Midgardian clothes, and he still managed to look heavenly. His cotton shirt hung to his chest and his pants clinging to his sides.

I shook my head to focus. “Why am I here, Loki?” I demanded. I was cold and had been through major panic attacks leading to this moment. I needed to know soon.

He chuckled. “Straight to the point. Though I assume the breeze has made you more desperate to get through this.”

“You’re very intuitive,” I quipped.

He grinned at my wit. It seemed like he longed to hear my sharp tongue sometimes.

“Well, my dear, I have been thinking tremendously about the other day, when you ran out on me.”

“I told you I had to speak to my parents—”

He held his hand up to cut me off. “Yes, I remember what you said, though I also remember what I saw. You were staring at my dagger when you ran off.”

I didn’t help him. I simply stared at him, willing him to finish without any reaction from me.

“Well, my dagger is very precious to me as you can tell, and it has a fortune of gold on it that would make anyone a little… intimidated.”

Where was this going?

He could tell by the look on my face that I was utterly confused so he continued. “I could see that you perhaps treasured it as I do, and well, since I am a prisoner and can no longer really have use for it, maybe you would keep it for me?”

Suddenly, he conjured the glorious dagger that had been burned in my memories these past two days. He handed it out to me, slowly, and for once, he looked vulnerable. His eyes were soft; there was no malicious intent or teasing behind them. He was open.

“Loki… I…” I could barely speak.

He put the dagger in my palm, wrapping my fingers around it. “It is yours then,” he stated it so matter-of-factly.

“What?!” I exclaimed.

Loki’s eyebrows raised. “Is that not what you wanted?”

My mouth hung agape at that. He thought I ran away because I wanted his dagger that his mother had given him.

I couldn’t help what happened next. I laughed. Putting my hand over my mouth, I tried to stop it but to no avail. Loki seemed a bit hurt by what he thought was me mocking him.

“Loki,” I spoke once I settled down, “this is your dagger. I don’t want to take something as precious as this away from you.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand then, why did you run?”

What could I say? I remained silent as I tried to think of another lie.

“Are you scared of me?” he whispered.

I snapped my head back to him. “What?” I asked, incredulous.

“Do you think I’m a monster?” he hissed.

Fool. I scoffed. “Are you serious?” I asked, taking steps towards him. “I have been treated as other since my powers manifested and you have the audacity to ask if I was treating you that very same way!”

“What else could it be then?” he yelled.

He was genuinely worried, upset, and concerned. He wasn’t in his usual cage of self-control and elegance. He was himself.

I pushed the dagger back into his hands then rolled up my sleeve. I walked over to the pond where a little lantern hung about which would give me more light. He followed me closely behind until I suddenly turned on him. I thrust my wrist into the light where he could clearly see it.

His mark on me.

“That’s…”

“Yes,” I muttered. “It’s been there since you set the Destroyer.”

His face was pale. The color seemed to drain out of his body then, and he did not speak.

We stood in silence for a few minutes before I broke it. “I know,” I started, bringing Loki out of his daze, “that I’m just a mortal woman and that you could never love me. I get that. But maybe this is a symbol of a partnership or friendship! It doesn’t necessarily mean anything more.”

He touched my mark ever so slightly, holding my arms in his hands. “You bear my mark,” he breathed.

I looked at him to gauge his next moves, but he was stupefied. He had no next moves.

“It may not mean anything,” I tried. I wanted to save him the embarrassment of having to explain to me that he could never love a simple mortal girl.

He looked to me then for the first time since seeing the mark. “Do you not feel anything for me then?” His voice barely cracked, but I had heard it. His eyes were pleading me. For what? What could I provide to him?

“Loki…” I slid my arm from his gentle hands and stepped back. “It doesn’t matter. This couldn’t happen.”

His eyes never leaving mine, he closed the distance again. “Tell me, Dana,” he whispered. “Do you feel anything?”

I couldn’t breathe for fear that if I did I would blurt out everything. That I would tell him he occupied my dreams since 2011. That he was the man I would think of during a kiss. That I loved him.

I settled for a simpler answer. “Yes.”

Just then, Loki brought his hand under my chin and kissed my lips so sweetly. I felt ice running through my body and into all my nerves. It wasn’t unpleasant, just intense. I wasn’t on fire as everybody described it to me before, but I was burning through ice.

He pulled away an inch or so to look at me again, his hand still staying where it was. His lip curled up into a smile, and I let out a breath that I had been keeping in me for years I believed.

We were still fathoming our situation when we both heard a twig snap. Just then Thor came out of his hiding spot wearing the biggest grin I had ever seen on anyone. He simply stared between us before pumping his fist in the air and yelling, “YESSSSSS!”

Chapter Text

“You oaf!” Loki snapped. “Why are you spying on us?”

Loki was fuming beside me, angry that his brother had interrupted a very intimate moment. I, on the other hand, was still trying to suppress giggles locked in my throat.

The moon was shining on all of us, and Thor’s expressions came into sight. He was overjoyed, but I didn’t understand why. Neither did Loki it seemed.

“JARVIS had alarmed me that both you and Dana had snuck out of the compound,” he explained, smirking. “It was only by the grace of the gods that I came upon the scene that I did!”

At that I chuckled. Loki glared at me, embarrassed and enraged that this was happening at that very moment.

“And why is this such a joyous thing for you, Thor?” I teased, ignoring Loki gripping my hand a little firmer to signal me to stop.

“Because my brother is finally happy!”

Loki stopped and dropped his grip on me. He was shocked to hear Thor say such a thing in a casual tone as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. It sunk in on him. His brother wasn’t here to humiliate him or cause trouble; he was excited to see his brother find something for himself.

Thor looked between the two of us, realizing his bad timing then. “Uh…” he mumbled, “I shall leave and inform JARVIS it was nothing. Goodnight brother, Dana.” Bowing his head to me, he left through the bushes he came and left us by ourselves once more.

I laughed a bit awkwardly at the silence that followed and wrapped myself back up into my blanket. “Well I guess it’s not a secret,” I joked.

“He won’t say a word,” he responded. “He knows what’s at stake, especially with Stark watching our every move.”

“You know about that?” I was amazed he figured it out so quickly.

Loki smirked. “Darling, that man is anything but subtle.”

I couldn’t argue on that. I mean, Tony did come out and say he was Iron Man on day one. He didn’t have a talent for keeping things on the downlow.

“Besides, that’s why I asked you out here and away from all his cameras. I wanted us to be unwatched and undisturbed.” He hissed the last word and glared at the spot from where Thor had hidden.

“Better luck next time then,” I teased, watching him circle the area.

He smiled at me. Not his usual self-satisfying smirk, but a genuine smile. I had no choice but to reciprocate it as the smile appeared of its own freewill.

“Will there be a next time?” His brows were raised. Loki looked so young there, waiting to be accepted or rejected, vulnerability spread across his face. I had never seen it before.

“Well,” I started, watching his face drop. “I don’t think my body gives me much of a choice now, does it?” I raised my wrist to him, and my mark showed through the light from the lantern.

A grin spread across his face before it disappeared again to his usual intense gaze. “Why did you not tell me before?”

“Because you’re you!” I exclaimed. “I’m a mere mortal, and you’re a god. I didn’t think it possible.”

“Neither did I.”

“What?”

Loki laughed. “I may be a god, little one, but I am a god with many lives and much blood on my hands. I have… done things.”

I walked up to him determinedly. When I reached him, I grabbed his hand and held it in my hand. I let his ice-cold skin take over my senses. I wanted to feel him.

“Well, big one,” I teased, getting him to chuckle, “we have all done such things. I am no angel myself.”

Loki intertwined his fingers with mine, and the cold melted inside my veins. “You are an angel to me, little one.”

“An angel of death, perhaps.” I smirked at him, our faces inches away from each other.

“Chaos and destruction,” he murmured. “A perfect pair are we not?”

~~~~~~~~~

I had slept in way late that next morning, having spent most of the night talking with Loki. We decided the first step was to get to know each other, how we really are, not how people think we are. He
recalled his past in Asgard and his true heritage.

I told him about my childhood: my parents, my siblings, my interests, and my powers. He didn’t pry into my full abilities, instead letting me tell him what I wanted. The truth was I didn’t know my full capabilities. After numerous disastrous and deadly occasions, I’ve been too afraid to test it out. Not like Tony would allow me to anyways.

Having skipped breakfast completely, I made myself some lunch in the kitchen. It was empty in the living room. I wondered where everybody had went or what I missed.

I had taken my bracelet off and was tracing the lines of the pattern. Loki walked into the room then, smiling at me.

“Is it usual for you to sleep the day away?”

I rolled my eyes before getting up and putting my dishes in the sink. “It is not, but when I have someone keeping me up all night then yes, it can get normal.”

I turned around and leaned back against the counter. “Where is everyone?”

“Most have left for Germany, though others are simply at your nation’s capital.”

“Why? Has something happened?”

Loki shrugged and stepped over to me. “All they said was that an alien presence was spotted in Germany. Not sure if it’s an ally or enemy.”

I nodded. Guess they didn’t need me, or Loki. “They weren’t going to wake you,” he said as if he read my mind. “Besides it could be dangerous.”

“Then why are you here?” I crossed my arms across my chest to keep some distance between me and his icy skin.

“Because I would be more of a liability than an asset on a mission such as this, especially if the invader proves to be an enemy of mine which is pretty likely.”

That’s true.

“So, it’s just me and you then?”

Loki grinned widely at that. He closed the distance and put his cold lips on my warm ones. I wrapped my hands around his neck to pull him closer, and I could feel Loki smiling at my actions. Our bodies fit perfectly with each other like this. There was no denying that this was… otherworldly.

Suddenly, my mark burned up again.

“Ah,” I gasped at the intense sensation. I gripped my wrist, exclaiming, “Holy shit, it keeps burning.”

Loki’s eyes were full of concern at my sudden reaction. He touched above my burning mark, studying it before taking my arm in both of his hands. He recited an incantation in some foreign language, and
then, a green light appeared from his hands and covered my mark.

It took a few moments, but soon my pain was alleviated.

“What did you do?” I asked in awe. The burning that had plagued me for some time was now gone.

“I simply told it that you had found me,” he whispered, his wide green eyes staring into my brown ones. “A simple spell that lets it know we have found each other.”

Woah. “How did you know to do that?” I exclaimed.

Loki took my wrist and gently kissed the tender mark, his chilly lips feeling heavenly on my warm flesh. “Jotuns are known to be bound to one another by insignias such as this. I remember reading about it back when I was studying Jotunheim and their culture. It seems that it has touched a mortal as well.”

“How?”

Loki shrugged, eyes narrowing in concentration. “I simply don’t know. I’ve never known for such a bond to afflict a Midgardian before.”

I gazed at his face and watched as his eyebrows would shoot up when he was thinking hard about something. His eyes would flit back and forth as if he was reading a book.

It took him some time to realize I had been watching him carefully, but he didn’t seem to mind. His eyes lit up with amusement. “What are you looking at, little one?”

“Oh nothing,” I uttered as I wrapped my hands back around his neck, “just staring at you, hayati.”

He looked touched. “Hayati?”

“It means my life in Arabic.” I blushed. “But you knew that already since the Bifrost lets you speak Allspeak. Thor told me.”

Loki laughed at my callout. “Yes, that is true dear, but I wanted to hear you say it.”

With that, his lips claimed mine once more.

Chapter Text

Loki and I spent the day talking. We talked about the mark and Jotun culture, as well as Jotun history. We talked about silly stories we heard as children of people meeting their soulmates, not quite believing we had found that. We spoke about a potential future.

“What’s going to happen?” I had rested my arm on the couch pillow, laying my head to rest on my hand. Loki was staring at me and smiling. His smile was so infectious; whenever he would laugh or grin, I
couldn’t help but follow.

“I’m not sure,” he whispered. “We may be forbidden.”

I sighed. That’s what I had feared. “Tony is like a father to me. If he found out, he would freak. You might be thrown from this building and have to return to Asgard!”

“Do not worry, little one. We can keep it between ourselves for now. Well, ourselves and Thor.”

“He won’t tell?”

“Not unless he prefers his eyebrows to be singed off.” I giggled and took his hand in mine. I discovered that I really enjoyed touching him, simply holding hands or laying an arm on him.

“I don’t want you to leave,” I muttered quietly.

Loki’s finger found its way under my chin and propped my head up to look into his eyes. His face was serious. “Listen darling, whatever happens from here on out, I will not be leaving you. You are mine now. And I don’t let people take away what I own.”

“Own?” I challenged. “So I’m a thing now?”

Loki gave me his signature wicked grin. “I own you as much as you own me.”

Still not impressed, I rolled my eyes and slapped his hand away playfully. “Sounds interesting.”

Loki then took my hands again and slowly entwined our fingers. “Love, in that… my culture, it is more primal then what you consider normal. They possess each other. It is not based on male-hierarchy;
the woman has as much right over the man as does he. It may seem barbaric, but it is only a different way of showing love and commitment.”

I considered his words and felt that the idea of having Loki as mine was more appealing than I thought. And being his made me feel warm inside. I wanted it.

“Fine then,” I laughed. “I am yours and you are mine.”

I pecked Loki softly on the lips before he deepened the kiss. His tongue explored my mouth, and his icy tongue gave me chills throughout my body. I felt like I was on fire, yet his icy lips were cooling me down.

His hands moved up and down my sides, feeling every inch of me that he could. I leaned into him and gave him full control. It felt natural.

I heard him growl into my mouth, and the sound vibrated throughout my body. It was scary what I was feeling. My whole body yearned for him in ways I hadn’t felt before.

Suddenly, the front door downstairs opened, and a rowdy team walked in, yelling and arguing. They had come back.

I unwillingly separated from Loki and moved to the other couch. His eyes were still on me when the team joined us, staring into my soul and giving me goosebumps.

“This isn’t Asgardian concern anymore!” Tony yelled at Thor. “She’s killed our people now, and she’s taken hostages. It’s an Avenger issue now.”

“She is our prisoner,” Thor shot back. “She is my responsibility. Loki and I should take her back to Asgard immediately before she causes more damage.”

“I agree, but that is not the dilemma we’re facing right now,” Steve interjected. “The problem is: how do we bring her in? We couldn’t beat her today. She manipulated every one of us besides Romanoff.”

“Her powers center around the controlling of men!” Thor exclaimed. “That is why I need Loki.” The team turned to Loki.

His face had gone white. He knew who they were talking about, and it didn’t seem like it was anyone he was fond of. He sat straight in his chair with his body tensed up like a coil. I so badly wanted to go over and touch him, calm him.

“Loki is immune to her powers,” Thor continued. “He’s more powerful than her, she can’t beat him.”

I had enough. “Who?” I asked.

Loki closed his eyes and breathed through his nose, trying to relax before he exploded with stress. “Lorelei,” he said.

“And who is she?”

Thor, noticing Loki’s condition, stepped in. “She’s an Asgardian enchantress. She can manipulate men and make them do whatever she wills. She’s also skilled in combat and magic.”

This woman was dangerous. And she did something to Loki.

“You want me to go near that woman again?” Loki snapped. “If I go near her, dear brother, I will kill her.”

“No, you will not,” Thor responded. He stood in front of Loki and glared down at him. “She will be returned safely to Asgard where she can rot in the dungeons.”

Loki’s laugh reverberated in the silent room, sending chills down my spine, except this time it wasn’t in a good way. “You can believe that all you want, but we both know if she escaped once, she can do it again.”

Thor shook his head. “We will tighten security. No more arguments on this matter. My word is final.”

With that he stormed off with Tony and Steve hot on his trail. Clint and Natasha looked bruised up and exhausted from the fight they endured with another god.

“Let me get you some water,” I offered.

As I went to the kitchen to fetch their glasses, I overheard Clint talking to Loki.

“She really did a number on you then, huh?”

There was a pause.

“She is a vile woman who has killed many associates of mine and never fails to pop back up into my life.”

“You think she’s following you?” Natasha asked.

Loki scoffed. “I know she is. She can’t let go.”

“Let go? What happened with you two?”

I heard a deep sigh come from Loki. My body was tense, awaiting his answer. And what he said next made my hands shake.

“She was my first love.”

Chapter Text

I avoided Loki and the team the rest of the day, choosing to pretend that I needed to focus on training. Loki didn’t buy it, but he didn’t question it. He could tell I overheard him, and that I wasn’t too happy about what I heard.

He had loved this woman! I shouldn’t be so surprised or so hurt by it though. Of course, Loki had other… adventures… in his life before me. That was only natural. I had dated other people before him, too. I mean, none of them turned out to be powerful sorceresses but still.

It was silly for me to feel upset about it, yet my heart was acting on its own. So I focused that energy on training instead. If we were to face her in battle, I wanted to be ready.

Today I was concentrating on expanding my range. To be able to have little strands of my powers disentangle from each other and spread out around me. It would be especially effective in the case of fighting more than one enemy at once.

This was how Tony found me.

I had lain plants around me in all directions. My eyes were closed as I took deep breaths and pushed my energy to the surface. I felt the little tangles uncoil and move around me. Opening my eyes slowly, I saw the strands curl onto the plants, killing and rotting them immediately. It happened to every one of them.

“Seems you’re ready for a fight,” Tony remarked when he came to me.

I sighed, wiping sweat from my forehead. This achievement was hours and hours of work with no sleep or breaks.

“I try to be as prepared as I can be,” I responded as I drank from my water bottle. I had placed it on the bench near the door where Tony was standing. His eyes were on me.

“Kid,” he started with a deep breath.

“Don’t even say it, Tony,” I interrupted. “You heard what Thor told us. Her powers involve manipulation of men. Well guess what? This is team is a majority of men. You guys need help; you need me.”

Tony tilted his head as he listened to me snap. “Dana, what were to happen if you got hurt?” he asked, genuinely. “I could never live with myself. I made a promise to you before.”

“Yes, you promised to protect me, but keeping me locked up and out of a fight that so desperately needs my help is not protecting, Tony.”

“It is to me.”

I squared my shoulders back as if bracing myself for a blow. “Tony, I can win this,” I whispered.

He didn’t say anything back, but his eyes told me that he knew it. His protective instincts on me couldn’t win over his need to protect all of Earth.

“I can stop her.”

He dropped his head to look at the floor, considering something. I waited patiently and hoped to God he would stop fighting me on this. I deserved to be let out.

His head snapped back up. “Fine.”

My heart jumped out of my chest. “But!” he yelled. “If you get even a little hurt, I take you out.”

I was too excited to care. “Yes, yes of course, thank you!” I wrapped my arms around him a little too hard, but he hugged me back. We stayed like that for a few moments before JARVIS alerted him to a phone call.

Then, I started to laugh. This was what I had been waiting for! My heart became overfilled with joy and relief. I was now going to be able to show people who I really am. I’m not just a weapon of chaos; I can help save people.

This was it. I was finally an Avenger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thor was the second to find me, but this time I was in the kitchen. I had just finished eating lunch and was in the process of cleaning up when he joined.

“I hear we have a new recruit,” he teased.

I smirked at him. “Yes, you will no longer be the strongest Avenger.”

That made him laugh with a boom. He sat down on the stool across from me as I washed my dishes.

We were in comfortable silence for a few minutes before I couldn't hold back any longer. My mouth opened on its own, ignoring my mind's orders to shut it.

“So, what do you know about her and Loki?” I questioned innocently.

But Thor grinned at me. He was the only one who knew, and the only one I could go to.

“Well let’s see,” he started. “We first met Lorelei when we were children. Frigga was teaching Loki magic by then, trying to get him to find his place among Asgard.” His eyes drifted as he mentioned Loki’s loneliness.

“Lorelei was also gaining magical abilities, and they bonded over it. Soon Frigga was teaching Loki who was teaching Lorelei. Eventually, when we grew up, a relationship started between them. Soon enough they were betrothed to each other.”

“They were engaged?!” I hadn’t heard about this.

“Yes, for quite a while. Then, one day Frigga told me she was in prison, and Loki refused to acknowledge her existence after.”

My breathing came short, then. What could she have done to make Loki hate her so?

As if reading my mind, Thor answered, “I was told that she was imprisoned for killing someone of nobility. I wasn’t too shocked about it because, you see, at this time, Loki and Lorelei had begun to dig through dark magic. It slowly overtook Lorelei, making her mean and cruel. She played nasty tricks on people, harming guards and even Loki. We all saw it coming.”

“Except for Loki?” I asked, looking down to the sink.

I didn’t look up to see, but I knew he had nodded his head. “He was blinded by love,” he spoke gently. “It was his first love. It drives everyone mad.”

I wiped my hands off with a towel, forgetting entirely about the dishes then. My eyes were shut as I tried to stop any tears from flowing. But I had to ask.

“Do you think he still loves her?”

Thor paused a moment before answering, choosing his words carefully. “I believe they still have a bond, but ‘love’ is not the right word. He didn’t look at her the way he does you. And besides, he’s intent on killing her.”

“But why? For killing a noble?”

Thor shrugged. “Before then, Loki had never killed anyone in cold-blood. Only in battle and when necessary. Maybe he thought she had gone too far and betrayed him.”

It still didn’t make sense to me. Even if he hadn’t killed anyone for no reason, Loki is loyal. He would’ve stood by anyone he cared for that made a mistake.

Unless she didn’t make a mistake. Unless she really did betray him.

“I’m sure he will tell you more of it himself,” Thor reassured. “He doesn’t speak about it to me or anyone else, but you’re different to him.”

When Thor left, I decided I had to calm myself down before speaking to Loki. All of this was news to me. And while I hadn’t known Loki intimately that long, we had spent hours speaking to each other of our pasts. He knew of mine, my former boyfriends. He had even told me of some of his.

But not her.

It left me feeling cold. Did he not trust me? Or did he not tell me because he still harbored feelings for her?

Either way, I had to be alone for a while to process it. My mind told me there was a logical reason as to why he hid it. However, my heart felt betrayed and angry.

And it’s foolish how the heart usually wins.

Chapter Text

I didn’t get to talk to Loki about Lorelei. Instead, the next few days were spent in chaos.

That night, Tony was hosting a private party as he usually does. The whole team was there, including Loki, along with SHIELD agents and military contractors that Tony knew well. There was also a low-level politician here, but I couldn’t remember his name or position.

I was dressed in a simple red dress to bring out my olive skin. Everyone was looking their best: Tony and Steve with their nice suits, Bruce with a formal jacket, and Natasha with a nice white blouse and black skirt. Even Loki was dressed nicely, and he looked incredible.

He was in a suit, and the white button-up clung to his chest in all the right places. He didn’t bother with his jacket, instead placing it on the chair near him.

When we made eye contact, it was intense. I was so mesmerized by him, and he caught me staring. His lips curled in bemusement as he strode towards me to continue the torture.

“You know staring is considered rude on your planet?” he teased me.

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed a glass of champagne and chugged it. “I’m going to need more alcohol if you’re going to be looking like this all night.”

Loki chuckled, grabbing a glass for himself. “The feeling is mutual, darling,” he whispered in my ear. Tiny little shivers ran up my spine. Curse him.

“I see my brother made his way right towards you!” Thor came up behind us, hugging me. Loki’s eyes glared daggers at his brother, daring him to say something to the team.

I punched Thor in the shoulder. “Ouch!” he said, pretending to be hurt even though he probably didn’t even feel it.

“Brother, how kind of you to join us,” Loki seethed.

I could tell this would move into an argument soon. “Thor, I think Steve was asking for you earlier,” I giggled.

Thor rolled his eyes. “Oh okay, I see how it is,” he muttered, a tiny smile appearing briefly. “But let me just say, she was my friend first.”

Loki raised his glass sarcastically. “Good to know, brother.”

I was playfully pushing Thor away when a sudden wave of energy ran through the tower, shaking the walls.

We didn’t have a moment to process what happened before the windows crashed and pieces of glass were flying at us. I felt a body over mine in the next instant, taking the blast for me. Looking up, I realized it was Loki, and he was staring down at me.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern etched in his face. I nodded, and he took off.

I looked around to see Tony had his suit assembling on his body while Thor and Loki had magically appeared in their armor. Natasha and Clint had their guns ready next to Steve.

Staying on the floor, I turned behind me to see some of the partygoers coming towards the team. I waved my hand at them to leave. Their eyes wide, they nodded and ran out the door.

A sudden crash returned my attention to the team. But something else caught my eye. A figure was emerging from the destroyed windows, walking barefoot on the glass.

The figure had long copper hair that curled down to her breasts. A loose-fitting green dress draped over her body, making her look like she was floating. She was pretty, with full lips and piercing hazel
eyes.

The woman was smiling, brandishing her white teeth, not as a greeting but more of a sign of dominance. Loki pulled out his knife immediately, his body tense and alert.

She stopped a few yards in front of him. “Hello, my love,” she purred, grinning wickedly at him.

I could see a shiver run through Loki, and his fist clenched around the dagger even harder. He was holding himself back. “Hello, Lorelei,” he hissed.

Seeing his obvious attitude towards her, she pouted. “Come on Loki is that any way to treat a former fiancée?”

“I can treat you very differently in a minute, just you wait.” I saw Loki grin, showing his teeth back.

My breath caught in my throat. This was the old Loki. The Loki we saw in New York all those years ago. He had to put on his most dangerous face for this.

Her laugh was like a chime. It was addictive. “There’s the Loki I know,” she harassed. “Such a strong man, with such potential for power.”

She sauntered closer to him, reaching out to put her hand on his chest. “Sad, that you wasted your potential for stupid ambitions like Midgard.”

“What do you want?” Thor bellowed. His face was red with fury; she was his responsibility on Asgard, but she had escaped.

She smirked back at the God of Thunder. “To be free,” she whispered.

Loki glared at her with a lethal look. If looks could kill….

“You will never be free after what you’ve done,” Loki roared. “You will die, alone.”

Lorelei’s face looked strangled. Apparently, he had hit a nerve.

Then she attacked. She flew at Loki, but he easily dodged her. His brought his dagger and towards her face, slightly slashing her cheek. Thor held her from behind, but she easily escaped and knocked him over with a red light.

The other Avengers caved in on her, but her capabilities far exceeded what they were prepared for. Her magic was strong and the only one who seemed to keep up was Loki.

I stood up, brushing the debris off me. Tony’s suit was badly damaged, and she was still coming for him. I quickly grabbed his cuffs. “Tony!” I called, throwing them at him. He put them on and in a second, another suit materialized around him.

Lorelei’s eyes found me for the first time, scathing.

Suddenly, her form disappeared, and a flash of red appeared behind me. Her hand grabbed my throat and lifted me off my feet.

“Dana!” Loki yelled.

Lorelei quirked her eyebrows at me, as if deciding something, and smiled at me.

She pulled a knife from thin air, dropping me to my feet and holding me to her, then had the knife at my throat all in a moment. Loki was already by us, his eyes on my face but not making any moves for my sake.

“Lorelei,” he growled. “Let her go!”

She was still choking me, and I couldn’t think long enough to surface my powers. There was also the possibility that I could kill other people here if my blast was too big. I wasn’t prepared.

“Oh, is this her?” she laughed. “How adorable.”

Loki’s body was shaking with rage, but he put away his weapon. “What do you want?” he yelled.

“You.”

Her hand holding the knife moved and, in an instant, Loki teleported behind her.

I didn’t know what happened next. All I saw was that Lorelei got away. But if she got away, why was there so much blood? Red was pooled around me. I reached up to my shoulder, but something wasn’t right. There was a… gash.

Shock started to seep in. I heard Loki’s voice telling me to hang on, that he was there and I was going to be okay.

“I’ll be okay,” I repeated as my vision went first.

My hearing was the last to go as I felt numb on the cold floor.

Chapter Text

Everything was dark. I couldn’t move or breathe; I felt like floating. I was in a timeless void, and I couldn’t get out.

Until I heard shouting.

Suddenly, my eyes popped open. I had to shut them again as the light violently shone on me. Not being able to escape from the light so easily, I raised my hand to cover the harsh fluorescent bulb above me.

“Dana, you’re awake!” I heard Tony. His voice was strained with exhaustion and worry. I peeped an eye open very slowly to see the dark shadows under his eyes. “Thank God, kid.”

A hand gently grabbed my other arm, giving it a squeeze. Thor was smiling at me, his eyes bright with joy and relief, but there was something else in them. I could only faintly see the desperation beneath them.

“What happened?” I croaked.

Nat handed me a glass full of water, which I accepted gratefully. Steve recalled to me last night’s events with Lorelei. Apparently, she had done no real damage to me, fortunately missing all the big arteries. She had escaped, of course, but Loki was currently in pursuit.

“He left only after he knew you were okay,” Thor whispered to me. My heart felt lighter at that, but it didn’t drown out my worry over him. Why was he so adamant on killing this woman? Yes, she was evil, but there were plenty of evil people in this universe.

“Clint and Bruce are trying to track her down as well, but so far, nothing.” Nat refilled my glass, anticipating my needs expertly.

“And if they find her?” I asked.

Tony’s eyes were hard as he looked at a spot in the wall. “Then we destroy her.”

I spent the night under Tony and Thor’s watchful eyes. Nat and Steve would come in every now and then with food and water. However, the one person I really wanted here wasn’t around. My thoughts kept flipping to him and stressing over if he was okay or if he had found her.

I detailed hundreds of possibilities and scenarios of Loki finding Lorelei, that by the time he came back, I was so wound up with anxiety that I almost shot out of bed to hug him. Only Tony’s presence stopped that.

“What have you found?” Thor stood up to speak to Loki quietly, but the whole room was silent enough to where I could still hear them.

Loki shook his head. “Barely anything,” he hissed. “I do think I know where she’s headed, though.”

“Where?”

“She came to us,” Loki’s eyebrows were drawn together as he focused, “she’ll come to us again then. She needs something we have.”

Thor took a step forward. “And that is?”

“I should head to bed, kiddo,” Tony interrupted. He stretched in his chair before getting up and patting Thor on the back on his way out.

Loki’s eyes were drawn to me, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself. Thor noticed this subtle exchanging of looks and let himself outside. Loki slowly crossed the room to my bed and sat down on the chair Tony had vacated.

“I’m sorry I left you,” he whispered, his eyes turned downward in shame. “I just thought I might find her if I searched sooner.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay, I understand.” I put my hand over his without thinking, purely to calm him. His hand relaxed under my touch and brought his fingers through mine.

“She could’ve done much worse to you.” His hand suddenly bunched into a fist, and I could tell he was about to go into a blind rage.

I grabbed his hand again and placed it on my lap. “But she didn’t,” I pointed out.

He gave me a very weak smile before kissing the hand that held his. “I am immensely glad to see you okay, my little one.”

His face also looked taught and tired. I could tell he hadn’t slept either, nor did he plan to.

Dawn was coming through a bit a few hours later when Nat showed up with breakfast. Loki and I had separated ourselves, and he was seated across the room. She looked at him suspiciously but let it drop.

“You holding up alright?” she asked, a little smile showing on her face.

“So far.”

She handed me more toast, but I refused. “Dana, you need to eat more and gain your strength before we go kick the shit out of that witch,” she teased. I giggled at her joke, but I saw Loki stiffen immediately.

His hands clawed into his thighs as he tried to hold himself back. Something was up, and I needed to find out.

Once Nat left to go help Clint, I took the opportunity. “Why do you hate her so much?” I blurted.

Loki seemed startled at this outburst, but he swallowed and unclenched his hands. He came back to sit by me and tried to smile. “It’s nothing important,” he said quietly. Too quietly.

“Yes, it is,” I demanded. “Thor told me, okay? He told me you and her were engaged.”

Loki changed. His face went pale white, and it looked like a battle just went off in his head. “Aye, we were,” he muttered.

He didn’t say more only looking elsewhere for help. His eyes were scared and furious, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he tried to swallow his words.

“Loki, please tell me!”

He stood up, startling me. “It is of no concern,” he shouted, glaring at me.

I shrank back in my covers at his fury. I had never seen him so angry, not even when he sent the Destroyer.

He realized his affect on me and softened his eyes. Running his hand down his face to clear his head, he apologized. “I’m sorry, little one, it’s just…”

“Just what?” I encouraged. To no avail. He sat down again and remained silent.

I couldn’t stand it anymore, the secrets, any of it. So, I kept prodding. “Thor said she killed a noble.” Loki’s face grew dark. “Did you know the person?”

He turned away from me for a long time, contemplating what to say next. When he finally turned around, his cheeks were wet with tears, and I knew he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Aye, I did,” he whispered. I felt his hand reaching for mine and gave it without a word. “Lorelei and I were engaged, but she turned to darker magic.”

I had already known this part but listened intensely to him describe their early relationship. They both had felt like outsiders and seidr brought them together. Frigga had even treated her like a daughter.

It was only common sense for them to have been together intimately.

But suddenly, she changed.

“She read a book, in the hidden depths of the library where no one ventured to,” he explained. “I had been there some times myself, but she had found a book on dark magic. Frigga had forbidden me to read it, and I respected her enough to listen. But Lorelei, she fell to it.”

She had become mean and agitated at the tiniest of things. She snapped at Loki more than once a day on inconsequential matters, and he had tried to reason with her.

“Nothing helped. Soon she started harming people. She would break a leg or drive a woman crazy, things that were too evil to be just simple pranks.

“She tried to pull me into it, and a little bit of it connected with me then. Of course, more of it would help me, well doom me, later.”

He paused, rubbing his left hand with his right—a nervous tick he had since he was a boy. “She got pregnant,” he breathed. I almost shot out of my bed, my heart had kicked so wildly. I couldn’t believe this, in fact, I wouldn’t!

“At this point she was downright cruel, but she chose to keep the child saying that her child would be as powerful as she, and we would rule as a family. I don’t know what she meant by that, maybe taking the throne of Asgard.

“Well, the pregnancy had complications, and the baby, my beautiful daughter, was born early and with severe disabilities. The healers assured us she would be fine, though.”

His eyes welled up once again as he relayed this part. “I told Lorelei, I kept telling her I would care for her and our daughter no matter what. I would always have them wanting for nothing.”

He took a break, clearing his eyes of tears. I gently ran my fingers over his cheek. “What was her name?”

He smiled faintly. “Her name was Sigyn,” he laughed. “Legends told of her as my beloved, but in the wrong way. She was my beloved, my gorgeous daughter.”

“Lorelei was not happy, though,” his whole body shook with this. “She was outraged that a baby of hers would be born not as powerful as she. But when I left one night to grab her food and more blankets, she…”

He didn’t need to finish. His fists were clenching the side of my bed as tried to regain himself, but it could not be done. He had let himself be shown to me, and his body wouldn’t stop now that the words were out.

My heart broke for him. I wanted to ease his pain, wipe his tears, do SOMETHING. But I could do nothing. A part of himself was ripped from him.

“Frigga and Odin kept it between ourselves,” he sobbed. “We never told Thor or anyone else. We locked her away in the darkest corner on Asgard and kept her there for hundreds of years.”

I then understood his desire to hunt her down. She had taken away a precious piece of him for no reason at all. “So, your threat to her about dying alone, it’s because…”

“It’s because she had our baby die alone. Now she will come to feel that by my hand.”

Chapter Text

There had been no sign of Lorelei for over a month. Loki and Tony ruthlessly searched for her whereabouts, forgoing sleep and food at some points. I had to beg Thor to help me drag them to the kitchen or to the beds. But on the good side, they were bonding.

I spent most of my time training again. It was the only thing I was useful for now, and I would never let Lorelei get the upper hand again.

Visions of her holding the knife to my throat and slashing it so easily kept me going throughout the night before I succumbed to sleep. I would usually find myself in my bed or Loki’s. I never had to ask who did it.

With the constant bustling around, it was rare for me and Loki to spend a minute alone. Something I was thankful for.

How could I even begin to process my feelings? He had loved Lorelei, had a baby with her, then watched it get taken from him. I don’t know how he coped, if he ever did. I would’ve gone mad with grief.

And what was I supposed to say to him? That I understood? Of course I couldn’t; I hoped I never would. But it kept dawning on me that there was no good way to approach this conversation. It was too
painful a memory for Loki, and I could tell he hated talking about it, but talking was needed.

I had just recently learned how to focus my power into separate entities. My tendrils of black smoke could be seen from all angles now. I was a sight to behold. Though, when it came to it, could I do it?

Could I kill Lorelei? Could I even face her without losing my focus and going blind with rage? It was hard to say.

I grabbed my water battle and took a big gulp, trying to wash out my thoughts. I hadn’t heard the door open and was surprised to see Loki standing in the doorway watching me.

“I wanted to see how you were doing.” His mouth twitched into a little smile, and his eyes were full of amusement. I had definitely been a sight to behold then.

Shrugging, I placed the bottle back down. “As good as can be.”

His smile faltered at that for a little moment. “I understand, this is all probably very difficult for you to process.”

I sighed, running my hand through my hair in exasperation. That was an understatement. “I just don’t know what to think, if I’m being honest.”

He nodded and walked over to me slowly. I wanted so badly to hug him but didn’t want to scare him. “All you have to think is that she will be gone from us soon, and we can move on together.”

So he planned for us to be together. For how long? My gut told me he meant forever, but was I ready?

“Have you made any progress?” I distracted us both from the tension.

“A little,” he murmured. “Like I said before, I know where she’s going.”

“And where is that?” I eyed him skeptically. How come he hadn’t told anyone?

He leaned against the wall, surveying my tiny training room. Tony had built it for me, insuring my power could not accidentally reach outside these walls.

“Wherever I am,” he said menacingly. I could tell he meant it, and it bothered him. “She needs me.”

Now I was intrigued. “You? What for?” I exclaimed.

“She touches a man, and he becomes her slave,” he explained, staring at me. “Very easy and simple. Except it doesn’t work on me.”

My eyes must have widened because Loki gave a tight chuckle. “I’m stronger than her in seidr, always have been. Her charms never worked on me. And for that reason, while I’m alive, she is at a disadvantage.”

I was starting to understand. “So she needs you gone?”

Loki nodded, still not moving his eyes from me. “Yes she will come to kill me.”

My heart raged inside my chest. An overbearing instinct to protect came over me so suddenly. She wouldn’t go near him. I would make sure of that. And then it came to me that yes, I could kill her if it was between her and Loki.

“How does she possibly hope to kill you?”

He shrugged, still leaning on the wall and keeping a safe distance between us. There had been lots of distance between us recently.

“She has her methods, and I’m sure some of them are successful, some more than others…”

He was holding something back. His clenched fits and dark eyes gave it away. He knew what she would do.

“What will she do?” I pressed again.

Loki looked at me, his eyes soft and desperate but knowing I had already caught him.

“She’ll go for the one thing that I’ll destroy myself over.”

My breath caught in my throat. She’ll be coming after me again.

I couldn’t resist anymore and went into Loki’s arms. He welcomed me fully and held me tightly to him, brushing my hair and whispering in my ear. “I won’t let her harm you, darling. No one will.”

And I believed him. He would do everything in his power to see me safe, but what about the things outside his power and strength. She could find me when he wasn’t around.

Loki kissed my forehead so softly it brought tears to my eyes. I loved this man with all my heart. I had just gotten him; I couldn’t dream of letting him go.

He left to go back to his work, but I was still standing in the training room out of breath. It could have been hours or minutes until I finally decided to take a shower and join the others for dinner.

But that night I couldn’t sleep. I saw her everywhere. When I went to the bathroom, when I turned off the lights, when I closed my eyes. I felt like a little child afraid of the dark and the monsters it held within.

Finally, after tossing and turning for hours, I sprang out of bed and walked out of my bedroom. I made the long trek down the hallway, feeling eyes on me the whole time. Would anyone see me? Would I be caught?

At this instant it didn’t matter anymore.

I opened up the door before letting myself in and shutting it quietly even though my presence was already known. He sat up in bed.

“Little one, what’s wrong? Has something happened?” His face wrung with concern, and I collapsed in his lap.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” I whispered, tears streaming down my face.

Loki’s arms curled around me and brought me close to him. We laid on his furs. He played gently with my hair and gave me light kisses on my face until the darkness of sleep finally consumed me.

Chapter Text

During the night, I was woken up. I heard a noise from Loki’s balcony outside, however I could see nothing in the darkness. I moved my hand over to where Loki was and felt his cool skin. He was still here then.

I decided to try and ignore the noise, telling myself it was paranoia because of Lorelei. I nestled closer to Loki, trying to make myself smaller under his huge form.

Then the noise started again. This time I heard it clear as day.

It was a hissing sound that warped and screeched with the wind. Loki was still fast asleep which surprised me since his senses were double of mine.

I climbed out of Loki’s bed with his furs, trying my hardest not to bother Loki. He was so peaceful when he slept. He had such a rough week, and he needed as much sleep as he could get. Anyways, maybe this was nothing.

I sauntered to the window doors that led out to the balcony. The noise had died down but the heavy wind made my hair rise on my arms.

Carefully opening the doors, I let myself outside into the complete darkness. The moonlight was little help for my sight as my eyes adjusted. I looked around to see if there were any candles or matches but a sound caught my attention- a twig snap.

I started, turning to see the intruder. My hand had already protruded its signature black smoke. If Lorelei was here, I wasn’t going to let her get close to him or me.

What I saw, though, was not Lorelei. It wasn’t anything really in the dim blackness. I made out only a big blob. Slowly my mind pieced it together as a creature, but definitely not human or Asgardian.

“Hello there,” a deep voice spoke from the blob. Its voice radiated throughout my body, and I felt my heart pop out. Something wasn’t right.

I tried to back away but only got as far as the edge of the balcony before I realized I was trapped.

“Don’t be scared of me,” it soothed. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

Somehow I doubted that. I enlarged my black tendrils as a sign of defense, ready to strike at any moment.

He just laughed. “Well, I couldn’t even if I tried, could I?”

I kept my senses about me. My ears listened for any extra sounds, my eyes adjusted to the darkness and searched for any anomalies, and my body waited for a touch or movement that signaled an attack.

“Who are you?” I growled. I should yell for Loki. But… I couldn’t bring myself to.

His grasping voice was like daggers of ice in my heart every time he spoke, especially when he said, “An admirer.”

“And what exactly does that mean?”

The shadow moved a bit closer to me, forcing me to put my hand in front of him full of smoke. “You’re so special, child. I’m here to praise you for what you are.”

I wanted to throw up. “For what I am?”

White teeth shined as it smiled. “Yes, what you are instead of what you claim to be.”

It strolled over to the plants on the table Pepper had put out. One of its hands or claws touched the leaf of the fern, stroking it. “This leaf resembles life. Green, healthy, prosperous. I, on the other hand, seek to destroy it.”

“Who are you?” I demanded, getting worried with each moment. “Why doesn’t Lorelei show her face?”

It laughed so menacingly that my arms started to shake. “Lorelei.” The name fell of its tongue like it was soiled milk. “She’s nothing but a small part in this world. A wannabe goddess. She will not get far, that I assure you. Her ambitions are too little.”

“If you don’t work for Lorelei, who do you work for then?”

Silence descended upon us for a couple moments before its white teeth reappeared. “You.”

If I wasn’t so afraid I might have laughed. However, nothing was funny at the moment.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I almost yelled. Loki has to hear this soon, he’ll be coming right.

“I only serve the one true power in this vast universe. So many worshippers of religions that mean nothing, of worldly things.”

I shook my head. Nothing was making sense.

His voice made me look at him again. “No more false gods.”

My tendrils shot out at him and quickly wrapped around him. I gave into the surge of power. But something happened.

He grabbed one of my tendrils and yanked it off. It threw me off my feet and to the floor. “Poor child, you aren’t properly trained yet. You have much to learn still.”

I was out of breath, slowly looking up at him. “How… did… you do that?”

He only smiled. “Soon you will overpower me and everyone on this small planet. You just need to be taught.”

I found that I did not have the strength to get up off the floor. Instead all I could do was listen. I couldn’t move or speak, and I started to think he had some powers of his own.

“You’ve been called many things over many lifetimes. Ra… Krishna… Yahweh.”

I was resisting his force over me, fighting to get up and attack. Fighting to stop him.

“You have the power to destroy it all. To rebuild, reinvent, and renew. And soon, you will need to perform your duties. It has been a long time since.”

Gasping for breath, I sat up. Every move was a battle that I felt I was losing. “Since what?” I gritted my teeth, focusing on will.

“Since the last renewal of human life. It is time. I think you already sensed that though, didn’t you? Your mind fought off the thoughts, but they were there deep in your mind. You can see the end of it all. You can feel it.”

The creature kneeled near me, but I still couldn’t see its face. It reached out a hand, it was definitely a hand, and held it under my chin, making us eye to eye.

“You know who you are.”

I shook my head. I visualized slapping his hand off my face and killing him there on the spot. And as if he had read my mind, he smiled with those bright teeth again. “Oh yes, there she is. You do know who you are.”

“Who?” I choked.

“Death.”

Chapter Text

I awoke an hour later to the feeling of rain dripping onto my cheek. The drizzle hit Loki’s balcony with a loud pat, and I got up to brush away the drops on my face. Looking at my hand as the water slid down it, I couldn’t recall how I passed out. In fact, I couldn’t remember what happened after… the encounter.

Nothing he said had made any sense at all. He just rambled about life and death. What I kept wondering about is how he knew anything of me or where to find me. How did he even get into this military fort?!

I glanced around to find any trace of the man who had paralyzed me. There was no sign of him, but I did notice the plant he had touched. The leaf he had held in between his fingers was brown and rotting.

Loki would be up soon. I was surprised he didn’t realize I was missing, but then I figured he must have needed more rest than I thought. Then I stopped myself.

My pajamas were soaked through and my hair was a wet mess. He would definitely notice something was up. I couldn’t speak to him about last night; it was crazy. Hopefully just a hallucination from stress. Also, he’d lock me away until he found the perpetrator, but I needed to get to Lorelei.

I slowly opened the door, being mindful of creaks. Loki was still in his same spot, his hair falling around the pillow. He was beautiful.

The bathroom was only a few feet away. I would just have to tiptoe quietly by Loki and open and close the bathroom door without waking him up. Easy, right?

As I was sneaking to the door, I didn’t see Loki wake up. “Little one,” he called. I squealed and put my hand over my heart as if I had a heart attack. “What are you doing?”

I swear my heart had burst right there. “N…nothing,” I stuttered. “Just going to shower!”

Loki was wiping the sleepiness off his face, narrowing his eyes at my appearance. “What in the gods happened to you?” As expected, Loki jumped from the bed and came straight to me with concern blazing in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes and tried to laugh it all away. “Oh you know… I just went out for a bit, then it rained and all that. No big deal.”

Loki stared dubiously at my clothes. “You got that soaked from being out there for a few minutes?”

Not my best lie. “Yeah, it was pouring so you know I was going to head to the shower to wash off.” I started to walk to the bathroom.

“Dana.” I turned around to see him standing scarily still. “You’d tell me if something was wrong?”

Why did he have to ask that? Taking a deep breath, I willed a convincing smile to my face. “Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had kissed Loki goodbye as we went separate ways for the day: him to his search for Lorelei and me to the woods. I told everyone that I would be out shopping for groceries. I may have been shacked up in the tower, but I wasn’t a prisoner like Tony said. I could still go out and live in the real world for a few hours, under supervision.

I managed to evade Tony’s security detail by convincing him it wouldn’t take more than an hour and that bringing two huge men into a grocery store would be a little suspicious.

Finding a wooded area a good distance away from the compound wasn’t hard. When I could barely see the white building, I stopped and put my bag down. The woods around me were eerily silent, and even though it was still day out, I felt a little scared.

I didn’t have a plan, truth be told. I just needed to see if what the man had said was plausible.

I pulled out a blanket from the bag and set it on the ground. Sitting on it, I tried to concentrate on the sounds around me. Flapping from a bird’s wings. A slight brush of the trees and its leaves.

Meditation was new to me, but I thought I could give it a go. After a few minutes, though, I sighed in frustration. Nothing was happening.

Maybe I was doing something wrong. I remember in movies they always tell you to clear your mind. How the hell could I clear my mind with all this shit going on? Add on to the fact that I was alone in the damn woods.

I shook my head and tried again. And once again, nothing.

Irritated, I stood up and walked through the trees to a small stream, splashing the cold water on my face. The water felt so good on my skin—it was like my body felt alive whenever I was near it.

That gave me an idea.

I took a step into the bank, shivering as I felt the cold. I immersed my body in it and let my hands just touch the surface of the stream as my legs were surrounded by the rushing water. And again I attempted to see something beyond me.

Suddenly, my vision went black.

When the darkness faded, all around me was fire and destruction. I could see the bodies of millions piled up in the streets. I heard screaming. It took me a moment to realize the screaming was coming from me. In front of me was a familiar figure.

He smiled knowingly at me. He was no longer hiding himself but in full regalia. He wasn’t dark but… purple.

“I told you, little one.”

He was staring below me, so I followed his eyes to see red all over my white dress. I was in a pool of blood. Shakily, I lifted up my hands and found them stained dark red.

I whipped my head to look at him but found myself staring at his armor. It’s shine acted as a mirror, and I could see myself. My skin had gone pale, and all over me was blood.

But my eyes. My eyes were black.

I let out a scream, this time waking myself from the vision. I came to in the water but found that the water was pitch black. My power had been seeping out of me into the stream.

I yelled and ran out of there, the water returning to its normal blue.

I sprinted to the clearing, grabbed my bag, and made my way back the compound as fast as I could. There was no plan here. There was no time to think of anything. I just had to get out of there.

When I finally reached the compound, I was so out of breath that I fell to the ground. My vision got spotty before I ultimately fainted. My clothes still as wet as they were this morning.

Chapter Text

“What happened to her?!” Someone was shouting, clearly very angry.

“I don’t know! She told me she was getting groceries.”

“Obviously, that was a damn lie!”

“Yeah, no shit Nat.”

The voices faded away again as I slipped back into darkness. My mind wouldn’t fully wake up from its dream, and my body could barely handle it. At times I could hear my heart beat out of control, and I
wondered if it was going to burst.

The screaming was back, but I had gotten used to it. No longer did I feel the need to shield myself from it, and maybe that should’ve concerned me. But I was more focused on the burning inside of myself. Not only was everything else on fire, but it felt like my body was burning in flames. I wanted to scratch the flesh off of me and run to shelter.

The worst part of it wasn’t the chaos and death, though. It was that I wasn’t afraid. I had never felt so powerful in my life, and nothing could touch me. I had the power of life or death in my hands, millions of people counting on me. I had never experienced this kind of power before.

And the purple man… well the purple giant. He just smiled at me as I destroyed the world around me. I wasn’t afraid of him either; I knew he couldn’t hurt me no matter how strong and powerful he was.

I was free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until hours later that I could finally open my eyes. When I did, I saw the whole team standing in my hospital room back at the compound. Thor and Tony looked exhausted, discussing something quietly. But my eyes immediately went for Loki.

He was slumped in the seat near my bed, not too near and not too far. His skin was pale, and his eyes were bloodshot.

I must’ve been out for days then.

He was the first to notice me awake, never having looked away from me in the first place. Jumping to my side alerted the others to my state.

“Dana!”

“Are you okay?”

“What the hell happened?”

I shook my head as their line of questioning was fired at me. My pounding head was not ready to deal with this much noise at once, and I found that I didn’t have much energy to respond to them either.

After hours of feeling like I was being devoured by flames, I needed a minute. And water.

“Water… please?’ I cracked, feeling my chapped lips.

Loki immediately shushed the team and sent Thor to grab me a cup of water. His eyes were focused on me, searching for any signs of bodily harm. However, my wounds were not present to the eye. Not yet.

After gratefully taking the cup from Thor and downing it in one go, I finally sat up on the bed. I was grateful to realize I wasn’t in the hospital room but my own bedroom. Once they realized I was healthy and physically okay, they must have decided I would be more comfortable in my room.

Tony sat on my bed beside me. From his ruffled hair and defeated look, I could tell he was extremely concerned. “Kid, I know you don’t have much energy right now, but you need to tell us if you’re okay.”

I nodded. “I’m fine, I promise.”

Steve patted Tony on the shoulder trying to calm himself down as much as Tony. “Why did you leave the compound? Where did you go?”

All eyes on me again. “I went to the store.”

Tony scoffed at my feeble attempt at lying. “Try again, Dana.”

What could I tell them? There was no way I was going to explain how a purple maniac showed up at our doorstep, or that I ran into the woods to see a future of death with me at the center of it. No, I couldn’t.

That’s how the lie slipped so easily between my teeth. “I thought I saw a figure with red hair, maybe Lorelei, so I chased her into the woods, but it wasn’t anything. I got lost, and it wasn’t until a little while later that I finally got myself out.”

“Why would you chase her?!” Thor boomed.

I had never seen the god angry before, certainly not at me. I was almost scared. “Because I can take her,” I mumbled.

Tony shook his head. “You’re not ready for this. I'm not letting you fight with us.”

Wrath ran through me. I shot up out of the bed instantly, yet not before another pounding headache almost overtook me. But I kept myself up straight. “You have no idea what I am ready for,” I growled, surprised at the voice that came out of my mouth. It wasn’t mine. “I am more powerful than any of you. You keep me locked away out of fear, but I cannot be stopped.”

And in that moment, it was my like my body had been taken over by a force older than time.

“What the hell,” Clint whispered.

“Dana…”

I felt myself slip to the floor as if the breath had been knocked out of me. Grabbing the edge of my bed, I found myself back in control. But I was still shaking.

“What the fuck!” I exclaimed, frantically looking at the team. None of them had any clue to what just happened. I searched for answers in Loki, but he was frozen in place. He was afraid.

He’s not the only one.

Nat was the first to speak up. “What is going on here?”

“It looks like something may be inside her,” Bruce chimed in. He knelt in front of me, inspecting my face and body, in doctor mode. “Like an infection.”

“What the hell does that mean, doc?” Tony shouted. He was definitely concerned now. “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know! All I know is that, it’s evolving.”

“Evolving?’ Thor asked.

All Bruce did was nod. He continued to look into my eyes with sympathy and understanding. He knew what it felt like to not be in control, to have something inside of you.

“Am I going to be okay?” I pleaded with him through my eyes to give me a positive answer. I did not want that vision to come true. I was NOT evil.

Bruce gave me a small smile before standing up and stepping back. “I think it’s her powers; I think they’re expanding. I can do some testing to get more answers, but for now, she needs rest more than anything.”

Tony accepted his recommendation. “Okay, you heard him. Everyone out!”

As the team started spilling out of my room, I felt a hand help me up. I turned to see Loki, who was pale with worry. “I’m not leaving your side,” he whispered to me.

“You have to find Lorelei-“

“She is not my first priority when it comes to your health. Besides, she may have a part in this.”

I shook my head, looking away from him. “No… this is all me.”

He opened his mouth to question me further, but Tony ushered him out behind Thor. “You need to sleep kid. I’ll have Pepper bring you some food in a little bit. Don’t move or you’re grounded.”

I laughed at that. “Good luck trying.”

I saw a small smirk make its way onto his face before he closed the door behind him. With all of them finally gone, I began to feel even more constricted. A huge pressure was on my lungs, and I couldn’t breathe.

It’s okay, this is a panic attack.

I stood up and made my way to the full-length mirror by my closet. I crouched down and got my face right up against it, searching for any sign of the “infection.” My eyes were still brown, though, so that was a good sign. I didn’t feel like I was burning alive either.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to relieve the anxiety dwelling within me. After trying to inspect my eyes, my hand slid down to my neck to wipe away the sweat that accumulated. I wanted this all to stop. I wanted to help, not to hurt. This wasn’t me; it couldn’t be.

Then I noticed the veins in my neck… they were moving. Blackness engulfed them slowly, ascending up to my face. I felt it all inside me, surrounding me.

I was infected.

Chapter Text

I didn’t know what was happening to me.

I couldn’t understand where this “thing” had come from or if it had been dormant in me for so long. If so, then why show itself now? Did it have to do with the man on the balcony?

I tried hard over the next two days to figure it out. The blackness creeping in my veins wasn’t slowing down, but, thankfully, I could hide it. The only time I could see the inky substance in my skin was when I called it forward—like I was looking for it, but otherwise, it hid itself.

No one else knew. I still hadn’t told Tony or anyone. In fact, I hadn’t spoken to anyone since I woke up besides Bruce and occasionally Tony when he checked in on me. Bruce came every morning to study the progress of the infection, and he hadn't seen my infection growing as I did. If he did, he would tell Tony, then I would never be let out. So I kept it hidden.

And maybe this wasn’t a bad thing, right? Maybe it was just my powers expanding, and I was maturing into my full potential. However, looking back on how I threatened Tony, I knew this power inside me was dark.

I hadn’t seen Loki either. My heart ached to tell him everything and to have him hold me, but I could not bring myself to seek him out. He was on the lookout for Lorelei, which was something only he could do. Distracting him would only delay the process and put us in danger of Lorelei hitting us off guard. Loki had told me he would stay with me, and he did, in his own way. I found flowers from him every so often as his reminder he was still looking after me. Of course I hid these from Tony, too.

“You should get some air.”

The voice startled me from my thoughts. I looked back to see Nat had come in, leaning against the doorframe. Smiling at her, I responded, “I have windows that open.”

“Not what I meant,” she scoffed, chuckling. She came into the room and sat on my bed. “You don’t need to lock yourself in here.”

“Well I’m already locked in the compound, so what’s one more cage?”

Nat raised her eyebrow. “You’re not a prisoner.”

It was my turn to scoff. “No? Then why won’t Tony let me help you guys fight Lorelei?”

She patted the spot on the bed next to her, motioning for me to come sit by her. Reluctantly, I did, and Nat turned to grab my hands. “Tony cares for you, Dana. He cares for you more than anyone, and he needs you to be alright. He doesn’t need you putting yourself in danger. You getting hurt would be the worst outcome for him.”

“But I can do it! Aren’t people dying and Lorelei winning the worst outcomes?”

“Yes, but if it means risking your life, then he won’t see it that way.” Nat sighed and squeezed my hand. “You’re young, and you have so much growing to do.”

I looked towards the ground, my brown hair falling to cover my eyes. “I feel weak. I have all this power, but I can’t do anything with it. I keep getting hurt by my hope to one day be something more.”

“You already are something more.”

“I’m… full of power—power that I’m not sure I can control, and I’m not sure if I want to. This thing, whatever it is, has made me feel stronger than ever. I feel like no one can ever touch me again.”

Nat reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear. “No one will hurt you. We will make sure of that.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to keep relying on people. I want to rely on myself!”

Suddenly, she turned my head to look into her eyes. “Relying only on yourself is a very lonely thing to do.”

“I’m already lonely,” I whispered.

I felt her hand softly caress my cheek. “Power is very tempting. It can make you feel strong, invincible, but it is an illusion. The only way to be strong is to have people who care about you with you.”

I closed my eyes, feeling my breath leave my body. When I was not myself, I was at my most powerful. I had the whole room full of Avengers at my feet, and I could’ve done anything I wanted. But at the same time, I felt nothing. I wasn’t myself, and my emotions were dulled. It was like I was someone else entirely, and for some perverse reason, I liked it.

“It didn’t seem like an illusion,” I breathed. “It seemed so real.” I needed it to be real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I continued to feel like an itch for that power again. I wanted it so much that I began pacing back and forth in my room. I began to feel like an addict, needing a drug I had only tried once. But damn was it good.

It got to the point where I went to my window and released it. The black tendrils flew out of my hand and swirled onto the grass below. Soon enough, the front yard was turning brown as the black smoke surpassed each plant and leaf. The yard was rotten by the time I was done, and I didn't want to stop. The power radiated throughout my body, and I gasped from the pressure building inside of me. I felt full. No one could ever beat me.

I stopped myself so suddenly. I gasped for air as the feelings left my body and my power receded. What the hell was I thinking? If I had let my control escape me, I was in danger of seriously hurting someone. So why couldn't I stop myself?

There was no stopping the panic that ran through me. Breathing hard and wheezing, I grabbed onto my throat. My heart felt like it could come right out, and my lungs felt so constricted.

My body was shaking. What was happening to me? That surge of power had overtaken me and without it, I felt weak again. I was nothing without it.

No! That’s wrong.

After counting down from a hundred and feeling my muscles relax, I got up and ran from my room. I needed to get that air that Nat was talking about.

But before I could get to the back door that led out to the garden, my body bumped into someone else’s. A hand reached out and caught me before I fell on my ass, and looking up I saw it was Loki.

“Darling, where are you running to?” He looked concerned, and I caught his subtle study of my body to see if I was harmed.

“I… Sorry, nowhere,” I stuttered. “I was just going to the garden. Seemed time to leave my room.”

“I am glad you are feeling better. I’ve been wanting to see you-“

“But Tony, I know. It’s okay.” I wasn’t sure if my reassurances were enough, but I was too focused on myself to think about it. I moved around Loki’s body and made my way towards the door.

I didn’t get far. Loki caught my wrist and stopped me from reaching my goal. “Dana, what is the matter?” Now he was really worried.

In an instant, I was turned around to face Loki. His eyes were soft as he gazed at mine, and concern was glowing in them. And I stopped.

Loki had been here before. Years ago he was tempted by a power such as this, and he gave in. He was overrun with it, leading him to attack Earth. The road there was paved with lost relationships and a loneliness so great it swallowed him. He was given the illusion of power, and he, too, believed it was real. Could he answer my rumbling thoughts?

It was a risk. I was terrified of voicing them to him. He might think me a monster or he could believe I was stupid for thinking such things. He might yell at me or mock me. He could leave me.

But he was the only chance I had.

My hand wrapped itself around his. “Loki,” I sighed, too scared to look at his eyes.

He tipped his forefinger under my chin and raised my face so that we were eye-to-eye. “Is there something wrong?” he asked softly.

Before I could thoroughly think it through, my head nodded. I sputtered, “Something is very wrong.”

“Love, tell me-“

The alarm interrupted Loki’s sentence. It blared throughout the compound, startling us.

“What the hell is that?” I asked.

Suddenly, a crash sounded from above us, and we heard windows shattering. The living room. Someone was here, and they were not invited.

“Loki!” Thor called.

I felt Loki tighten his hold on me. “She’s here.”

Chapter Text

Loki quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me with him up the stairs. My heart was pounding so fast as we hurried to where the crashing sounds were loudest. There was glass everywhere, so I had to be careful not to step on the shards along with pieces of broken furniture.

We stopped in the doorway of the lounge room. I swallowed thickly as I saw Lorelei standing there, smirking at us. The rest of the team had already circled her with their armor on, and we were the last to join.

Loki’s hand on my arm tightened a little, and I knew that was his way of telling me to stay put. I watched him with panic as he stepped towards the goddess. I didn’t trust myself not to react if she were to attack him. I could already feel my power begin to flow through my hands.

Loki stopped a few feet in front of her, obviously confident that she couldn’t hurt him. I was less so. “Lorelei, end this now,” he scolded. “You know you won’t win.”

Lorelei’s smirk widened. “But why should I? Not when it’s this fun.” She laughed, taking a step towards him.

“Hm.” For a moment, Loki looked deep in thought before he purred, “It will be fun to see you fall.”

Now Lorelei laughed louder. “And who will do that? These mortals? Thor? You? I highly doubt it Loki. You couldn’t even kill me when you most wanted to.” She smirked as she saw her words had their intended effect on Loki.

Loki clenched his fists together, barely constraining his rage. “Death was too kind for you. Not when I could have you locked away for centuries with no power and nothing to live for.”

It all happened a bit quickly. Lorelei pulled a hidden dagger from her dress and threw it straight at him. Before I could even scream, Loki had dodged it and magicked his own blade in his hand. He ran at her, but she was quick, too. She moved away in time and slapped her hand in the air, causing Loki to go flying across the room.

Thor bolted for her, swinging his hammer with a ferocious growl. The team then began to close in on her as they tried to keep her at bay. It was six against one. Tony tried to disarm her with his blasters, but she blocked them so easily.

“Is this all you have?” she yelled.

I ran over to Loki, who was trying to sit up in the corner. Hurriedly, I scanned his face and body to see if there were any major injuries, but I found none.

“Loki, are you okay?” I exclaimed.

He nodded his head, wincing a bit at the pain, but he quickly hid it. “I’m fine love,” he grit through his teeth. “You need to get to safety.”

“The hell I do! I’m not going anywhere, Loki.”

His eyes turned to me, and I could see the desperation and pleading in his gaze. “Darling, please.” He took my hand and held it firmly for a moment, before he got back up and went back to the fight. I understood that Loki could not stand to see me hurt, and, while I so greatly wanted to prove myself, I knew it wouldn’t be fair to Loki for him to see me in pain as he tried to fight Lorelei.

However, there was no way I was leaving. Instead, I stood back by the bar as the fight raged on in front of me.

I could see that we weren’t winning. She was too strong, and the only one that could keep up were Loki and Thor. But then, as she spun around Thor, she sneaked her dagger back into her hand and stabbed Thor between his armor. He cried out before kneeling to the floor as the blood dripped down his abdomen.

“Thor!” I shouted to no avail.

Now it was Loki’s turn to growl. He moved with such grace as he danced around her, their daggers causing a loud sound when they met. Bruce and Clint were dragging Thor away from the action to get him medical attention. Natasha was unconscious on the ground, and I couldn’t find Tony anywhere around the room.

I started to really panic. Loki was our last defense, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. If he failed, he would not survive, and I couldn’t let that happen.

They were truly equals. They knew each other’s tricks and moves after having grown up with one another. He could easily predict her next attack, and she kept coming at him with the same ferocity. Neither were letting up as their blades cut through the other’s skin, and blood was starting to stain the floor.

Suddenly, as Loki shielded her dagger with his hand, Lorelei magicked another blade into her other hand. It felt like time slowed down as I watched her drag the knife through Loki’s side.

He fell to the floor with shock, and I cried out. I could not watch anymore.

You know who you are. Death. The mystery man’s words rang in my head. You have the power to destroy it all. I could end this all, here and now, and save my friends’ lives. I could protect Loki this way.

Slowly, I let my power flow out of my hands as I walked over to them, not caring about stepping on glass anymore. Lorelei heard me approach, and smiled widely at the challenge.

“And what can you do little girl?” she taunted. “You are nothing compared to me.” I didn’t stop as I headed to her. “Do you actually have what it takes?”

I stood still in front of her, my breath slowing. In and out. My whole body was on fire with my barely contained strength. I could feel my heart beat in my chest, pumping my blood along with my power. Everyone’s eyes were on me, but I could only sense my body burning with rage. Rage at Lorelei. Anger at the team’s imprisonment of me. Anger at the world for how its tried to weaken me.

Do you actually have what it takes?

My eyes met Lorelei’s once again, taking a good breath. Then, I let my chaos explode.

I flung my hands out, and black smoke burst from my hands. Vaguely, I could hear Lorelei screaming, but she was fighting me. She tried to block me, but I was stronger. I was more powerful. My forehead started to bead with sweat, and I screamed as I gave my all.

After what felt like hours, I dropped my hands in exhaustion. The black smoke faded in silence as Lorelei’s dead body appeared on the floor. Her face was covered with black veins along with black eyes. I assumed the rest of her body must have looked the same.

The room was so still with an eerie quiet that had settled over us. I stood there for a few more moments to simply look at what I had done. All the damage I had caused. I did this.

I had killed someone for the first time in my life. I took a life. Deep down I found myself conflicted on my contrasting emotions. The human part of me was afraid, almost disgusted that I had done such a thing. But the other part of me, the dark part, was elated. I had defeated her when no one else could and with no one else’s help.

Rapidly, I felt a bone-aching exhaustion take over my body after emitting so much of my strength. My knees tumbled to the tiled floor, and as soon as my body hit the ground, sleep overtook me.