Chapter Text
John Seed strolled up the gravel path towards Seed Ranch, flanked on either side by 4 of his men.
“Fall’s End has dug in – their numbers have grown in the last week and they’re pretty heavily fortified,” one told him. “The good news is they don’t seem prepared for any countermeasures of their own. They’re trapped in the perimeter they’ve created for now.”
“Hmm,” John merely offered in acknowledgment.
“The gas shipments are secure to the west and along the river,” another said, having to double his pace to keep up with John. “There’s been some trouble along the southern routes at night – some sinners trying to ambush the convoys. Should we alter the schedule or just push through?”
“Push through,” he answered without sparing the man a glance. “If you meet further resistance, drive them back from whence they came.”
He alone ascended the stairs up to the home; when he reached the top step, he turned and faced them all.
“The Father guides our hand so that we will be prepared for the Collapse. Everything we do now will serve to protect us once the world ends in flames,” he told them. “Continue to serve the Father, continue to serve this Project and ensure that Eden will be paradise when we step through its gates.”
Normally, speeches like that inspired everyone who listened in; he could see the brightness enter the eyes of both men and women alike as he preached to them, could feel their devotion and love shining through the very air itself. But he had always had his heart in such proclamations before. Now…now it was a hollow performance.
His men could sense that his words lacked their usual passion; their eyes were worried and dejected but they wisely kept silent and dispersed without prompting, going their separate ways to complete their work.
Morale around the ranch was beginning to become affected from his sullen and brooding mood. There was nothing to merit such an attitude when it came to the Project’s preparations, he knew as he strolled down the hall and into his office; he come to a stop in front of the giant, wooden desk and glancing down at the memos and maps scattered across it. They were making up for lost time: repairing damaged structures, restocking missing supplies, and doubling down on the straggling sinners who weren’t taking sanctuary in the bastion Fall’s End had become for the Resistance.
The Resistance, for its part, was being surprisingly accommodating (for once). Their attacks were now few and far between, focused more on holding what ground they had managed to snatch back out of the hands of Eden’s Gate and rallying their numbers from within.
Things had been quiet for a while now. Quiet was good – quiet meant things were proceeding as planned and on schedule.
And yet…he longed to hear of a silo being destroyed or an outpost being attacked somewhere in the east. At least then he’d know that Anna Bishop was back in his prowling grounds and he could swoop in to catch her again.
And this time, he would not allow her to slip away. There would be no repeat of last time…well, no repeat of the ending anyway.
Fingers rising to his lips, he traced the shape of them, remembering vividly the feel of Anna’s mouth against his. If he closed his eyes, he would be greeted with the image seared in his brain from that moment at the border with the Henbane: the look on Anna’s face as she’d laid there beneath him, hands caressing his face.
Inevitably, he had to move on to what followed…and even now, he still smarted from how easily she’d overpowered him. He’d underestimated her wiles – he’d absolutely underestimated her physical strength – and she had made him the biggest fool of Hope County.
Twice. In the span of minutes…
His anger was brief; soon enough, he felt a smile pulling at his lips as he shook his head fondly. Anna was as smart as she was scrappy – he should have expected nothing less from her.
Pursuing her had been made impossible by the arrival of Faith’s men on the scene. A scowl marred his face as he forced himself to recall their orders to turn around and return to the valley.
“Faith says not to worry about the Deputy,” he’d been told, their faces all smug and condescending. “She already has her.”
Oh, he’d laid into them with every threat of retribution he could think of…but in the end, there had been nothing he could do. Anna was in Faith’s territory and he wasn’t allowed to interfere in her domain; he’d been forced to retreat back to Holland Valley like a dog with its tail between its legs, stomach taut with anger and the lingering ache of where the deputy had planted her feet on him.
He’d gone straight to Joseph immediately afterwards and implored him to understand. His brother had seemed sympathetic, even appeared to agree with him on Anna’s changing heart…but in the end, he had refused to have Faith relinquish her to him.
It’s your sister’s turn to try and persuade her, he’d said. Focus on our work, John. Secure your bunker, make it safe for our family against those who would harm us.
Mention of the successful infiltration of his bunker had practically been a sucker punch and he returned to Holland Valley angry and despondent. And there he had remained, depressed and sulking in his ranch while the world kept on spinning around him.
He hadn’t heard from Anna since that day; not a radio call, not even news of her exploits floating over from the Henbane…it left him anxious, knowing she was completely at Faith’s mercy.
Faith, on the other hand, he had heard from – plenty. She made frequent unannounced calls to gleefully inform him of her progress with the Deputy, of how close she was to accepting the Father into her heart and joining their family. He could only sit and glower in silence, the radio in his hand clenched so tightly he was left wondering how much more pressure it would take to destroy it.
Anna didn’t deserve the fate of an Angel. He understood her, knew how she thought and would act…she wouldn’t give in to Faith’s manipulations. And Faith would only ramp up her Bliss intake and eventually break her…until she was no longer the Anna Bishop anyone knew.
No one but Faith seemed impervious to the effects of Bliss. Anna was strong…but even Jacob - the strongest man John knew – had tested himself and tried to withstand its effects and had eventually fallen prey to it, stumbling and slurring about before he was pulled out of its grasp.
No, Anna would not be able to survive the Bliss; no one who turned into an Angel truly “survived”.
John had always viewed those creatures with disdain and revulsion. A handful had been sent to his bunker to help with the more mundane and physically demanding tasks…and he couldn’t help but feel unnerved by their vacant expressions, by how unthinkingly they obeyed every whim and command. It wasn’t by their own choice they had accepted their duties or even accepted the Project. They had no say in anything - which went against everything John tried to preach.
And they were doomed to such an existence as long as they walked the earth; the Project’s doctors he’d sent them to had explained that they were too far gone to ever return to their former selves…lost forever to the Bliss.
That could not happen to Anna – he would not allow it. John felt his hands clench as he tried to rein in his anger. What happened to the people in Faith’s territory might be out of his control, but he’d be damned before he let Anna fall prey to his sister’s cruelty. God had not brought the Deputy to him just to let her suffer such a fate; she was meant to be with him, by his side as the world ended and the path to Eden emerged.
Funny how quickly his perception of her had shifted.
Not long ago, he had despised the deputy above all else. The little vixen that had slapped handcuffs on Joseph and tried to take him from the Project – from his family – and then managed to slip away in the confusion following the start of the Reaping. She hadn’t stayed quiet for long, wreaking havoc in his region almost instantaneously; he had barely even had time to delight in crushing the rebelling forces of Fall’s End before he was receiving word that that town had been easily liberated by a single woman armed with only a pistol and the dog at her side.
With every silo she destroyed and every man she killed, the Resistance in his valley had grown stronger…as had his anger. Who did she think she was, defying the Father so audaciously? What gave her the right to undo all the hard work and preparations the Project had been slaving over for the impending end of the world?
He could never forget that moment at her Baptism – the first time they’d been face to face since the standoff with the whole sheriff’s department in the church - when he’d forced her back under the water and then wrenched her back out. Even through her coughing and sputtering breaths – even through the effects of the Bliss dulling her senses – she had pinned him in a heated glare and stared at him defiantly. The naked hate and raw anger he’d seen in the depths of her eyes had only incited him further; only Joseph’s untimely arrival and subsequent lecture had stayed his hand from sending her back under again.
It took him days later – after her miraculous escape from the armed convoy with the aid of that tiresome Jerome – to realize why that look she had given him bothered him so much. Standing before his bathroom mirror, raging at the Resistance’s growing boldness and seeming incompetence of his own men, he’d fixed his reflection in a withering stare and briefly saw the deputy staring back at him instead. His eyes matched hers, save for one mismatched iris: full of potent anger and vitriol.
That moment had sparked something inside him. Soon enough, she was all he could think of, even as she bolted to Faith and Jacob’s regions and out of his reach. He became obsessed with knowing everything she was doing, mapping out the path she was blazing across the county.
Hudson hadn’t been forthcoming with any information about her, try as he might to sweat it out of her. At first, it had enraged him – how dare she continue to resist him?! – but he’d soon calmed himself when reports starting coming in of the deputy’s return to Holland Valley. He’d have her back in his grasp soon enough and he’d learn everything he wanted straight from the horse’s mouth.
My, how he’d gotten more than he’d bargained for. It’d only taken two days for him to fall for her - and he’d fallen hard. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought there’d be someone out there who could fully understand him, who knew his pain and his anger and shared it. Joseph had told Anna at the Baptism that she wasn’t with them by chance or by accident – it was the will of God she was brought to them.
Brought to me…
It was God’s plan that he and his brothers should be separated during childhood. It was God’s plan that he should be taken in by the Duncans and subjected to their abuse and loveless discipline.
God had put him through all the trials life had to offer so that when Joseph reunited with him and Jacob, he would be ready to take his place at his brother’s side and prepare for the Collapse Joseph foretold of together. God had brought them to Hope County to build their shelters, to amass their flock and spread the word of the Father to their devoted.
And God had selected Anna Bishop to be the one to break the first seal and usher in the end of the old world; she would bear witness to the flames that would consume the earth and fertilize the very ground they would take shelter beneath and await the return of Eden together.
The pain we endured, all the hardships...it was all so we could find each other one day, he rationalized. It’s what God intended – this is fate.
His eyes sought out a familiar glimmer of gold hiding beneath one of his maps; sweeping the papers aside, he reached for the small trinket and brought it up to chest height. He stared at the badge in his hands with quiet fascination for the umpteenth time since it had come into his possession.
Sheriff. Jackson County. Montana.
The lettering circling the edges was slightly faded from years of wear, but not so much as the shield that sat squarely in the center of the star. His thumb traced the worn path Anna’s fingers had smoothed out over the last decade in a ritual he could only guess was meant to comfort and draw strength from. It had a calming effect on him as well, knowing that Anna’s gentle touch was nearly within reach as he smoothed his finger over her practiced path. He’d long since found he couldn’t follow the exact shape of her circle with his thumb; Anna’s fingers were far smaller and daintier than his.
The thought brought a smile to his face as he reminisced once more on the feel of those fingers tangled in his hair and caressing his cheeks. Closing his eyes, he could easily conjure the image of her mismatched eyes staring up into his with unrestrained passion and warmth. The way she had whispered out his name continued to haunt his dreams, filling his head with the infinite number of ways she could gasp and sigh the sound out in the future.
“Anna,” he spoke aloud to the empty room. “Where are you now?”
Sunlight streamed down into Bishop’s face, forcing her to cringe behind closed eyelids. Slowly, she blinked her eyes open, taking in the unfocused shape of her hand lying in front of her face. She stared at the appendage until the fuzzy edges started to dissipate and she started to gain some semblance of clarity before unsteadily pushing herself up into a sitting position.
Her vision was still sparkling at the corners from the lingering effects of Bliss. She raised the corner of her sweatshirt and wiped lazily at her eyes, as if she could somehow force the drug from her system that way. Where in the hell was she? What was she wearing?
Gaze falling downwards, she read the words embossed across her stomach slowly: What Are You Smiling At?
“Sharky…,” she said aloud, voice hoarse.
She couldn’t remember when she’d last seen him…it seemed so long ago. He and Boomer were both swimming across the Henbane as she ran through the forest, taking the armed convoy with her and away from them. She’d been forced to hide and then had sprinted for the bridge to Henbane territory…and…and…
Flopping back down in the grass unceremoniously, Bishop covered her face with the sleeves of the hoodie, desperately trying to smother the blush that made her face burn hot.
Oh yes…she remembered what had come next. Vividly.
It seemed impossible to banish that memory – it burned like a candle in the dark haze that was her muddled mind. John finally catching her and pinning her to the ground, staring down triumphantly at her trapped beneath him. How his breath had caught when she grabbed him and pulled him down to meet her lips, or how eagerly he’d reciprocated when he’d recovered his senses.
She almost felt guilty for having ruined such a beautiful moment…almost. Still, she couldn’t stop her gut from clenching as she replayed the shocked look on his face when she’d kicked free of him and sent him sailing; or tremble at the anger in his voice when he’d briefly trapped her again at the truck stop.
Where had he disappeared to after that? She still didn’t understand what had become of him – he had been in such hot pursuit, there was no way he would have just given up the chase like that. Unless he knew that Faith was waiting for her just over the ridge and had shepherded her right to his sister?
That thought was discomforting. She’d upset him with her actions, absolutely…but enough to put her at the mercy of Faith and her Bliss?
Everything had gone dark after Faith had appeared before her; when she finally came back to awareness, she was in the most ethereal looking place she had even seen. There was no way it could have been Hope County…and yet, the giant looming statue of Joseph Seed had been there in the background as Faith took her by the hands and lead her through the grassy fields towards it.
And then they had taken flight and Bishop knew it was some sort of hallucination.
But it had felt so real: the flight, the jump, the drop…
She wasn’t sure why she had taken the leap. It just seemed…right. Faith had been so sweet and cajoling that Bishop had found herself ready to do anything for her; a single jump seemed like she was asking for so little.
Still, she had been scared; she watched the Marshal drop off the edge without a second’s hesitation and had recoiled away after she failed to reach out and grab him in time. Trembling legs had carried her to the edge moments later to peer down at the ground hundreds of feet below and had felt herself paralyzed with fear. But Faith had spoken to her again - so encouraging and warm – and all her nerves had suddenly vanished and she took the plunge without thinking.
It was only as the ground was quickly flying up to meet her that she thought to be worried again - but by that time it was too late. The last thought she had before she hit the rocks was of John and almost even called out to him before everything went dark.
She didn’t know how long it took her to wake up later. Groggily, she’d forced her eyes open and struggled to rise to even a sitting position, her vision sparkling and swaying from Bliss. The gigantic field of Bliss flowers she was nestled in couldn’t have helped matters either…she chalked up their influence as the reason she heard Faith’s voice echoing in her head praising her and encouraging her to walk the Path.
Getting to her feet had been a challenge; even when she was up from the ground, she wasn’t certain she could stay upright. She stumbled and trudged forward unsteadily, vision swimming in and out of focus. It took her some time to realize she probably looked exactly like those horrifying Angels did as they ambled along aimlessly through the wilderness. By that time, she felt herself growing faint and had found a place far away from the sea of Bliss flowers to fall down and drift back to sleep.
Only now was she coming back from that state of unconsciousness, still delirious despite feeling more alert and aware than she had the last time she had awoken. How much time had passed? Just where in the fuck was she?!
Her hand reached towards her chest to dig into a pocket…only to realize she didn’t have a pocket there or even the item she was looking for. She had to remind herself that John Seed was still in possession of her father’s sheriff badge – the single most prized possession she owned – and contend with another wave of grief and anguish. Struggling to find the walkie clipped on her belt, Bishop tried to divert her focus anywhere else other than on her own heartache.
Bliss was not kind on her memory; she could barely think of the frequencies for Fall’s End or the Cougars up at the jail. Only one was dredged up from the depths of her brain and she grasped it as firmly as she could, cranking her radio to the channel number floating through her mind before it drifted away.
“He-hello?” she croaked out, throat still dry as a bone.
“Kid?” Dutch’s voice greeted her instantly. “Jesus christ, what the hell happened to you? I’ve been trying to reach ya for days!”
“John ambushed me and Sharky…,” she explained tiredly. “Barely got away…Bliss…”
“Damn - got dosed, did ya?” Dutch asked warily. “You’re probably still doped up – it can take days for that shit to get out of your system. Listen, the best thing you can do is find someplace secure and let yourself level out, got it?”
“Yeah,” she answered as she stared down at her boots blankly. “Alright, I’ll do what I can.”
“Stay safe, kid,” Dutch warned. “You might be out of John’s clutches but you’re in even greater danger now that you’re subject to Faith’s little mind games. Don’t trust anything you see or hear. Dutch, out.”
Normally, Bishop appreciated how brief Dutch was in his calls; she also preferred getting down to brass tacks and avoiding small talk. But right now, she could have used someone talking in her ear as she struggled to stand on her own two feet. He probably had better things to do – might even do some of her work for her and contact Fall’s End and the Cougars – but it left her feeling unspeakably lonely.
Her radio was still in her hand and she just barely caught herself from turning it to the main police line. Barely anyone used it anymore after she’d been ambushed and taken down into John’s bunker from a hoax call on it…the only ones who still did seemed to be John and herself when they were trying to get in contact with each other.
What’s the matter with you? Her brain supplied sluggishly. If you want to hear his voice so badly, why did you run from him?
There wasn’t an easy answer to that. John was the enemy, and as the (unhappy) face of the Resistance Bishop couldn’t let herself fall prey to him again. Still…her heart longed for him. She craved the warmth she had felt in the brief time he’d had her pinned to the ground – the feel of his lips against hers and his hands in her hair. The look he had given her after they’d pulled apart was so affectionate and soft…it had almost hurt to pull the rug out from under him when she’d kicked free and sent him flying.
Almost.
“Stop being selfish,” she growled aloud, willing the weight of her words to sink into her brain.
The Ryes, Hudson, Pratt, Jerome, Sharky, Boomer…there were plenty of others she could bring to the forefront of her mind that didn’t benefit from her dwelling on John. They were all counting on her to stay strong and help lead the charge that would eventually drive Eden’s Gate away or into the ground.
Still…why not be a little selfish? She’d earned that right after all she had done and sacrificed in the name of the Resistance. As she walked, she closed her eyes and remembered the scratch of John’s beard against her chin as he kissed her back and let herself revel in the memory of it.
The moment was short-lived, however, by the sudden sound of humming that sent all the hairs on the back of her neck and arms standing on end. Whirling around, she caught sight of Faith not far away, strolling through the grassy field leisurely, arms crossed behind her back.
“Is it so selfish to want more from life?” Faith asked her curiously. “The Father extends his hand to you, to show you a better path. The Leap of Faith was your declaration you’ve accepted his Word into your heart. All we ask is you keep walking the Path – we will be with you every step of the way.”
Bishop could only gape at her for a minute before slowly approaching. She was so certain that woman before he was an illusion…and yet, she seemed to have heard her speaking to herself just moments before.
“Your ‘friends’ demand everything from you – never asking, only taking. Sooner or later, what will there be left for them to take?” Faith noted as she wove through the grass, fingers dancing atop the blades as she stretched her arms out to either side.
Bishop couldn’t bring herself to argue with her: it hadn’t escaped her notice that people had stopped asking for help and simply expected it instead. She was Resistance, yes, and a Junior Deputy of the Hope County Sheriff’s Department on top of that; it was her duty to provide aid wherever she could. Still…she would be a liar if she tried to say it didn’t burn a little every so often when someone made ridiculous demands and put all the responsibility on her shoulders.
“The Project, the Father…they wait with open arms, ready to give you all the love and support you deserve,” Faith continued, stopping to watch Bishop slowly drawing closer. “Eden’s Gate is waiting for you…come join us.”
Reaching out with unsteady fingers, Bishop tried touching the woman in white before her. Just as her fingers should have grazed flesh, however, Faith vanished in a puff of hazy, green smoke, white Bliss petals raining down from the sky lazily. Bishop could only stand and stare in absolute bewilderment, trying to make sense of everything she had just seen and heard.
Nothing made sense anymore…she thought she understood that once the cult had managed to take over and isolate a whole county from the rest of Montana. But even now she was still shocked by the things she saw and heard. Faith Seed seemed to be something otherworldly…how did she do the things she did? Just what was Bliss and what was the extent of its capabilities?
Her mind immediately jumped to John again and she let herself feel regret for having managed to outfox him before. At least she understood how John operated – none of this near magical bullshit Faith was pulling. What she wouldn’t give to be back in Holland Valley and back to some semblance of normalcy…
Still, she dragged herself back on the path she’d been previously treading and tried taking stock of her surroundings. The statue of the Father loomed behind her (and she tried her best to ignore the shiver of terror that raced up and down her spine as her mind questioned whether that experience had been real or not) meaning the Hope County Jail was due straight ahead.
In the middle lay Boshaw Manor, Sharky’s residence; whether or not he would be there was uncertain. She’d told him to head for the jail and to wait for her there…but that was apparently days ago. Was he still there? Or had he even made it there at all?
She refused to entertain such a notion: no, Sharky and Boomer were both just fine. They were out there waiting for her to rendezvous so they could head out together again, a fully functional unit once more. There was no way she was making it to the jail by nightfall without food or water or a little more rest; she’d stop in at Sharky’s place, restock and freshen up, and then continue onwards.
It was a lengthy trek on foot in her state and she barely felt up for the journey…but she forced herself to start walking with a sigh.
Keep yourself busy, she egged herself on. Don’t think about how tired you are.
Heeding her own advice for once, she let her mind wander to anything other than the leaden feeling of in legs. Unsurprisingly, the memory of John and that desperate chase to the border of Holland Valley sprang forward first. She let herself become immersed in thoughts of John and his soft lips – when she made it to the jail, she knew it would be back to business and she’d have to curtail such wistful reminiscing in the presence of the disapproving Resistance.
Maybe Faith wasn’t entirely wrong – why not be selfish and let John be the one thing they couldn’t take from her? Bishop couldn’t be entirely sure how much of that sentiment was the Bliss talking and how much of it was a corner of her heart that seemed to have grown much larger and dominant in the last few weeks. Either way, her focus was centered on the memory of him and away from the whispers in her ears and the flickering of her vision that didn't seem to be fading away even as she pulled herself further out of her Bliss fueled stupor.
"I feel depressed, I feel so bad
'Cause you're the best girl that I've ever had
I can't get your love, I can't get a fraction
Oh, little girl, psychotic reaction
And it feels like this
I feel so lonely night and day
I can't get your love, I must stay away
Well, I need you, girl, by my side
Oh, little girl, would you like to take a ride now?
I can't get your love, I can't get satisfaction
Oh, little girl, psychotic reaction"
Psychotic Reaction, Count Five