Chapter Text
PART 1 IF
1
The first day of school always has a different feeling. First years run around all excited and bright eyed, unknowing of the hardships ahead. I navigate the school easily and quietly, greeting the few other seniors that notice me and give me a nod. It is our last first day as high school students and there is already a sense of nostalgia in the air.
I try to find some sort of feeling inside my heart but cannot seem to find any. It is just another day, anyways. My memories here are neither good nor bad. My life as a high school student has been monotonous to say the least, and I have been diligently trying to keep it that way. The least drama, the better.
I keep walking the corridor, minding my own business. I feel someone’s gaze on me, and I silently look around to figure out whom it comes from. I scan the near faces but no one seems particularly interested. Some second years are excitedly talking about a senior that has inspired the deepest of sighs, and a boy is looking at a poster advertising some kind of club activity attentively. I notice his school uniform looks different, since it is brand new, and he is tall so he must be a senior.
Some other boys are talking about the last season of soccer and how the girl’s team lost the on the National’s semifinals. Oh… So it must be them.
Well, my life might be monotonous but it is not as boring as I make it seem. Being a part of the soccer team is one of the best decisions I ever made and one of the things that makes me most proud of myself, the other one being the best student on the class, according to my grades. I am not popular, pretty, or even stylish or cool, but I am smart and I can kick a ball fairly well, and that is enough for me.
Thinking about it more consciously, I will definitely miss some things about high school, specially the club activities and being able to see my friends everyday (even if I still don’t seem to be able to avoid them during the holidays). It’s not as if I hate school, it is just that nothing exciting ever happens to me. Sports aside, it seems that I am always listening to the stories other people tell me about their dates, breakups, arguments, and an A+ in an exam is not something I really want to talk about. The only reason I want to leave high school is that I am anxious for my life to begin.
It’s not as if graduating will suddenly transform me into a beautiful, interesting girl. I am definitely not expecting anything magical to happen. But, in high school, in order to be attractive, you have to either fit in or stand out, and I do none of those. Social hierarchy matters and if you start getting popular you’ll have to mess with the popular girls, those who cause drama and live their lives as some kind of shoujo manga characters. (I’m still not sure if they are the heroines or the villains).
If there is one thing I hate, it is drama, and I have seen people rise and fall because of it. One day being a teenage princess, and the next a social pariah. I tried to fit in the popular group once, when I still was in middle school. However, anything I did was judged and if someone did something they didn’t like, talked to the wrong kind of people or, God forbid, were liked by the boy they liked, they would start stupid rumors about them and ruin their lives.
So I spent my time trying to make them like me. In return, I got to hang out with them, but I was miserable. It wasn’t a very intelligent deal, so I decided to drop that act when I entered high school.
No thanks, I don’t want any of that nonsense anymore. I am just that girl people know of but do not really notice, that girl on the soccer team, what’s her name again? I lay low, avoid trouble, everyone is happy and I don’t have to worry about my life being ruined. I rather have no life than have a miserable one, right?
That’s ok, I just need to focus on my grades to get into a good university, and entertain myself playing soccer, then I’ll just be another person in the world free to do whatever.
It is still early, almost twenty minutes until the class begins, so when I enter the classroom it is almost empty. I sit on one of the desks by the window, put on my earphones to appear occupied and open the ebook I am currently reading on my phone.
I start reading and lose track of time, the surreal world of Haruki Murakami completely hypnotizing me, and when I come back to my senses, the classroom is almost full. I notice the boy I saw on the corridor is sitting some rows in front of me, the one with the pristine new uniform. I can’t help but feel a sense of dejavu, like I have met him somewhere before.
I am at a significant distance from him, so I can stare at him a little more than is prudent. He has dark hair, carefully styled to look cool, and he has his ears pierced but no earrings on, since that is against the rules. He never turns so I can’t see his face, and that makes me all the more curious.
- Hey, Azura stop spacing out! You look like you’re about to drool on your phone.
- AZU!!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!! - Sana cries dramatically in her usual high-pitched voice. I still cannot believe this over-the-top, pretty girl is one of my best friends.
-Shut up, you saw her yesterday! - Laughs Jeongyeon, the same girl that told me to wipe the drool off my face, soccer team captain and girl crush extraordinaire. She acts as if she is so embarrassed, but she is secretly amused by Sana’s antics.
- It’s amazing we are on the same class again!
- It has been this way for all of high school- I respond, trying to get out of my friend’s novellesque embrace.
-They would not dare to separate us. - Jeong adds, sitting beside me. My other friend finally lets me go and sits in front of me.
-What took you so long? - I glance at my phone; the teacher will now enter the room any second.
-Jeongie was confessed to!!
-Wow! Who was the brave guy?
-It was a girl! A first year, poor thing. She was heartbroken!
-A girl? And on the first day? That’s a record.
-It’s the short hair- shrugged the heartbreaker, as if she’s used to it already.
These girls definitely do not care about fitting in and I love them for that. We were on the same class and met on the soccer team as first years and we instantly clicked. Jeongyeon being a soccer fanatic, she saw me play and told me “she definitely has to be friends with the next generation’s ace”. I remember I told her she was exaggerating, but that simple compliment gave me enough confidence to try my best and actually become one of the main components of the team. She’s just the kind of girl that tells you your good points as if they were nothing, she’s good at easily lifting people’s spirits and that’s why she later became our captain.
We just gravitated towards Sana, who was always the one slowest to learn the moves and tactics, and eager to come to us for advice. She needs her time, but she is determined and hardworking, and soon she was part of the regulars as well. Her cute ways made us love her immediately.
-What were you staring at?- girl crush tried to change subjects. I was about to make up an excuse when the teacher walked in.
Mr. Kim Minjun, also known as Mr. K made the proper introductions and, as if he suddenly remembered, started to talk about the object of my curiosity himself.
-Ah, we have a transfer student here with us. He has recently come back from Canada, so please treat him kindly and help him adapt. He was the best ranked in his class so I am sure it will be easy for him.
-Oh, Mrs. President has some competition- Jeong whispers and nudges me with her elbow. I give her a cocky smile, dismissing her comment.
-Can you please introduce yourself to the class? - Mr. K signals the new kid to stand up. He does, very cool and collected, and turns towards the rest of the students.
When I finally see his face, mine starts feeling hot and I know I am either pale as a ghost or bright red. Of course I have seen him before. Of course, how can I forget?
He looks at the class but not at me, and I feel like he’s avoiding me. Does he remember me? Does he hate me? He must have hated me then, and if he remembers me, it’s surely not in a good light.
-Hello, everyone.- he smiles that big kitten-like smile of his- My name is Younghyun but you can call me Brian if you want, please take care of me.