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They were supposed to go to the lake half an hour outside Hyunjin's hometown today, but it's the kind of hot that burns up the temptation of going out into the sun for a moment, even with the promise of a spring-fed lake bound to chill them to their bones. The bus stop is covered, but it's still an eight minute walk and on weekends the buses tend to run a little late. Hyunjin and Changbin aren't in the mood to walk to the convenience store on the corner of the block, let alone wait for a bus while they sweat through their clothes and watch the heat rise from the pavement.
Instead, they lay on the floor of Hyunjin's room, some light blankets over the wood floor so it doesn't get sticky with sweat, and play video games. Hyunjin has a desk fan aimed at them and dragged a standing fan to circulate across the room, both turned to full blast. Hyunjin's mom brought them massive watermelon slices earlier and now they're down to the green-white rind, little patches of pink where they didn't quite clean up. Hyunjin has some drips across the neck of his white T-shirt and both their hands are sticky and they keep finding seeds in the folds of their clothes.
Hyunjin, in his paint-stained, loose-fitting tee and Changbin in a black tank that hugs his body and both of them in Hyunjin's boxers—Changbin had forgotten to pack socks and underwear. It's really something to see Changbin in light teal boxers patterned with dog bones. Matches Hyunjin's pastel pink ones with paw prints. The oscillating fan has squeaks when it turns to blow air across Hyunjin's bookshelf. The condensation on their glasses of cold tea drips into a growing puddle soaking into the blankets.
Hyunjin should have the home team advantage—that's how these things work, right? This is his house, his collection of video games in mismatched cases, his overflowing dirty laundry basket, and he gave the controller that has a sticky B button to Changbin. And yet Changbin is kicking his ass with eye dust still crusting the corners of his eyes and the occasional reach down to scratch at his balls, which, in turn, gives Hyunjin the urge to scratch at his own balls and therefore fuck up a combo. Hyunjin's pretty sure blatant ball-scratching should be considered a form of sabotage.
He's not really mad at Changbin. He's not truly a petty person. It's just that the weather is making his blood run hot. It's hard to think clearly when your skin is prickly with drying sweat and your upper lip tastes like salt and your best friend has a dark stain in the dip between his pecs. Hyunjin stayed up last night, turned on his side, to watch Changbin breathe evenly on the futon next to his. It was Hyunjin's idea to go down to the lake, to try to chase the feverishness from his blood, but that's shot so now it's just him and Changbin and video games Hyunjin has always sucked at and a slow boiling lust that Hyunjin is even worse at winning over.
Changbin isn't even trying anymore. He's gotten lazy in jamming the B button at the only angle that makes it work; forgoing that attack altogether while Hyunjin mashes buttons in a frenzy, trying to get a single good hit in.
"Cheater," he mutters under his breath.
"Am not," Changbin says.
He's not, technically. But he is camping in a particularly hard to access point close to the edge of the map and beating the shit out of the computer players until Hyunjin sucks it up and tries to go after him. It's basically cheating.
"You're a coward," Hyunjin challenges. "Face me like a man."
"Nah," Changbin says. "I'm going for 14-0."
"I won once!"
"The computer won," Changbin says, "because you spitefully maxed its level and after whooping your ass it came for me."
"Same team," Hyunjin grumbles.
"What team is that?"
"The Beat-Hyung-Team," Hyunjin says.
"Sore loser," Changbin says, smiling.
Hyunjin thinks he'd be less of a sore loser if he could stop thinking about Changbin in his clothes. Changbin in his room. Changbin wiping watermelon juice from his chin with the back of his hand.
Damn, he's really out of it. Changbin visited him last year for a week and Hyunjin didn't once try to jump his bones. Instead, he spent the whole time half half-hard from reveling in how Changbin touched and let himself be touched so freely, and half half-hard from fear that Changbin would notice how much he enjoyed the attention. Not that it mattered now—cheers to moving forward in sleeping with the hot boy next door to you. Literally next door, since Chan and Changbin's door was about a meter and a half from the Millennial room.
Sure, they've had sex and sure, they're still best friends, but this is new territory. New, old territory and somewhat taboo seeing as Hyunjin's parents don't know and it's the place normal best friends might have their first tryst. Sneaking into the house late at night. Stealing his mom's hand cream. Shushing each other through giggles and sighs.
Hyunjin blinks, annoyed. His cock stirs a little. On screen, he bites it for the fourteenth time. Changbin sighs and stretches his arms over his head, controller still in hand. Hyunjin looks at him out of the corner of his eye and tries not to stare at his pit hair or the slight bristle along his jaw like a freak. He's so jealous of how well Chris and Changbin grow hair. And how toned they are. Whenever they drop down for an impromptu push-up competition in tanks with the big cuts down the sides Hyunjin has to excuse himself from the room so he doesn't do something utterly pathetic, like whine or come in his pants.
But he's thinking about it now. He switches his character to some rando he never uses to force himself to pay attention to the new move set. It works for a little while, and Changbin graciously leaves him alone in favor of beating up the NPC, but once Hyunjin is back at it, trying to smash the shit out of Changbin, his sexual frustration bubbles up as regular old frustration. He grunts audibly when Changbin kicks his ass.
"We can play a different game if you want," Changbin says.
It's so genuine and non-malicious that it actually makes Hyunjin madder than if it had been a taunt. He ignores Changbin and mashes Player Ready!
"Or not," Changbin says, still smiling. Because he thinks Hyunjin is cute when he's grumpy. Or so he said. Ass.
It's Changbin's turn to pick the map and instead of being a dick, he picks Hyunjin's favorite, a relatively boring melee set-up but with cool changes in environment and background graphics that Hyunjin will slur stories about when Changbin sneaks a few Strong Zero's in from the convenience store. He's being so nice and so fair and so Changbin that Hyunjin wants to throw his controller to the ground and thump his legs against the ground a couple times. He's so mad. He hasn't tented his boxers yet but he's definitely not as soft as he had been when they were eating watermelon.
Hyunjin falls off the map within a minute of starting the round and gets blasted by lava once he respawns, then slaughtered by an NPC. Changbin doesn't pull his punches when Hyunjin chases him down in a frenzy and the moment Hyunjin's character is punched off screen he gives up the pretense of trying to win. He drops his controller and lunges at Changbin.
Changbin lifts his arms, eyes still fixed on the TV, to allow Hyunjin to attack him. Hyunjin wraps his arms around Changbin's middle and hooks an ankle and calf over Changbin's leg, back arched carefully to keep his hips from pressing into Changbin's thigh. Once Changbin lowers his arms, Hyunjin presses his face into Changbin's bicep and growls.
"There, there," Changbin says. "We can't all be winners."
Doesn't take much to be a sore loser, though. Hyunjin shifts his body upwards so he can press his mouth to Changbin's neck. He lathes his tongue across Changbin's salty skin and watches as he takes a major hit from an NPC. Hyunjin smiles into Changbin's neck and continues his exploration across Changbin's skin. He tastes salty and sharp and around the usual boy-musk, he smells of Hyunjin's coconut and lime shampoo. The skin of his neck is thin and soft. Hyunjin gives it an experimental nibble, nipping lightly at the crux of his neck and shoulder. Changbin feels good on his lips and tongue and under his teeth. Hyunjin sucks at the base of his neck.
"Ah, Hyunjin-ah, no," Changbin protests in a small voice. "It'll show."
"Don't you have a video game to be winning?" Hyunjin asks. "Since it's so important."
"I said we could—" Changbin breaks off with a reedy sigh when Hyunjin scrapes his teeth against the skin he's sucking on. He turns his head just a little to allow Hyunjin more real estate. Hyunjin runs his tongue up the side of Changbin's throat and nips along his jaw, tongue darting out to taste a mix of sweat and sweetness from the watermelon. He sucks a hickey hard on the underside of Changbin's jaw and the controller falls from Changbin's hands, his own pretense of paying attention to the video game forgotten. On screen, both Changbin and Hyunjin's characters are slowly pummeled to death by the computer players.
Hyunjin kisses behind Changbin's ear sweetly and Changbin sighs. "Hyunjin-ah."
"Mm?" He leans back to look at Changbin.
"What's got you so worked up, huh?" Changbin asks. "What do you want?"
Hyunjin, already half on top of Changbin, blinks slowly and reaches between Changbin's legs to wrap his fingers around his cock and tugs lazily. Changbin's breath hitches and he hisses, "Shit."
He lets Hyunjin slowly stroke him to hardness, fingers firm and familiar with Changbin's cock. Hyunjin's learned this. He's almost as good as Changbin's own hand. Changbin's hips jerk a little and he sucks in a breath, stilling Hyunjin with a hand over his. "We're in your house."
The words send a thrill down Hyunjin's spine. "Yeah?"
Changbin groans. "Your parents will kill me."
"I mean," Hyunjin says. "We don't have to tell them."
"Oh my god," Changbin says.
"Hyung," Hyunjin whines, headbutting his shoulder and pressing his own erection into Changbin's leg. "Hurts."
"A-and what do you want me to do about it?" Changbin scoffs, trying to sound tough even when he stutters. "If it's a handjob in the shower then maybe—"
"I want to be inside of you," Hyunjin breathes.
He can feel how hard Changbin's cock throbs at that.
"Your parents," Changbin argues weakly, but they both know how much they want it.
Hyunjin swallows. "If you're too worried, we don't have to—"
"But you want to?" Changbin asks.
"Yeah," Hyunjin says. He bites his lip, suddenly shy now that it's no longer just teasing. "I kind of...have been thinking about it since we got here."
"Bad," Changbin scolds with a little smile. Hyunjin flushes.
Then his face falls. "Oh," he says. "I don't have condoms."
Changbin blinks. "Good?" he says. "Do you really want to be forced to discreetly dispose of a used condom?"
Hyunjin frowns. "But then we can't..."
"Can't what?"
"Well," Hyunjin says. "Don't we...shouldn't we use one?"
"You like it when we don't."
"I do not!" Hyunjin says, slapping him. "It's just so we can be sneaky!"
"Exactly?"
"Then," Hyunjin says slowly, "I can just...do it? Inside you?"
"That's what I'm suggesting, isn't it?"
"In my own house?"
Now Changbin colors. "Why are you saying it like that?" he groans, covering his face with his hands. "Now I feel dirty for suggesting it."
"No, no, no," Hyunjin protests, pulling his hands away from his face and peppering his cheeks and lips with kisses.
"Why are you so hard?" Changbin cries.
"Sometimes I pretend we're childhood friends and we're having sex for the first time in my bed," Hyunjin says in a rush. "It turns me on. I don't know."
"Your biggest kink," Changbin says slowly, "is friends to lovers?"
"Love and affection too," Hyunjin adds, laughing. "Jeez, hyung, get with the program."
"Well, mine is getting spit on."
"No, it isn't," Hyunjin says with a soft smile. "You love it when I kiss you during sex."
"Maybe," Changbin grumbles.
There's a beat of contented silence.
"Are you going to steal some hand cream or what?" Changbin asks.
"Going, going," Hyunjin says.
---XXX---
This is what Hyunjin wants: Changbin spread comfortably beneath him and all the time in the world to love him.
Changbin doesn't protest when Hyunjin pulls his shirt off and kisses him into the futon. He grumbles a little, ears red, when he pulls off his pants and boxers and flips over to lie on his stomach. Hyunjin helps stick a couple pillows covered in a towel under his hips. He waits for Changbin to settle into a comfortable position. Changbin inhales deeply and lets out a long sigh that moves his back. He wraps his arms around a pillow and turns his head to the side against it, eyes half-closed.
This is what Hyunjin wants: Changbin's patience and trust, shown in the openness of his body.
He leans over Changbin and wraps his arms around his stomach, squeezing Changbin tightly and lifting him off the futon a little to crush him to Hyunjin's chest. Changbin grunts but allows the manhandling. Hyunjin hugs him like that for a long moment before gently lowering him back down. He can't keep his hands off Changbin. He traces the lines of Changbin's back and the tops of his arms and shoulders with fingertips, then rubs down the planes of his back with the flat of his palms. He holds Changbin by his sides and noses at the line of his spine, running his lips over sweat-sticky skin and up to the base of his neck, kissing the dip below his hairline.
"Hyunjinnie," Changbin slurs, then sighs.
Hyunjin still has his shirt on, so he pulls it over his head and throws it to the side. It feels more real like this—his bare chest and the only thing between him and Changbin the elastic band of his paw print boxers. He bumps the front of his boxers against the rise of Changbin's ass, rubbing against him a little. Changbin growls.
Hyunjin pulls back, feigning innocence. Changbin is muscular and thin; not much of an ass but Hyunjin still likes it so, so much. He presses the heel of his hand to Changbin's ass and squeezes.
Changbin's eyes pop open. "Oi," he rumbles.
Hyunjin soothes him with fingers combing through his hair. He pets Changbin until he lowers his metaphorical hackles and relaxes into the nails against his scalp. Hyunjin squeezes him intermittently, dragging the heel of his hand against the thin squishiness of Changbin's ass, almost massaging.
Changbin exhales through his nose. "You trying to turn me on?"
"Is it working?"
A grunt. "Yes."
Hyunjin smiles and leans down to kiss behind his ear again. "Can I start now?" he whispers.
Changbin's skin prickles over in goosebumps. "Yeah," he says softly.
This is what Hyunjin wants: to know Changbin wants him as badly as Hyunjin wants Changbin.
It's not hand cream filched from his mother's bathroom cabinet, but it's still lotion from Jeju-do that Hyunjin got in his stocking for Christmas last year. It's a stolen, misused gift. Hyunjin pours some out onto his hand and rubs the cream across his fingers. It's cool and smells like nothing. He circles Changbin's hole with cool, silky fingers and Changbin arches his back, biting the corner of the pillowcase and chuffing just behind his lips. Hyunjin kisses towards the inside of his thigh. He reaches around and tugs on Changbin's wrist, guiding his hand to his own cock so he can jerk himself through the stretching.
Hyunjin pours more lotion on his hand, coats a finger, and starts to work Changbin open. One finger isn't very difficult, and the sigh Changbin lets out tells him the sensation is welcome. Two stretches more, takes some time fucking in and out slowly, scissoring even slower. Three is more of a twisting motion and rubbing Changbin's back so he stays loose and pliant. Hyunjin stretches over the length of Changbin's body, murmuring soothing affirmations into the crest of Changbin's skull.
It's so hot. Hyunjin hadn't thought to turn the fan on them so they only have the oscillating fan occasionally passing over them. It's way too hot to be having sex, but the heat sucks the instinctual resistance and tension in Changbin's muscles right out of him and makes Hyunjin lazy, fingering Changbin for far longer than necessary. Enough that Changbin's breath gets ragged and his hips start twitching.
"Hyunjinnie," he whimpers.
Hyunjin presses his lips to the shell of Changbin's ear. "You okay?"
"You can—you can put it in now," Changbin pants. "I'm okay."
"It's okay?"
Changbin turns his head so they're pressed cheek to cheek, lips to each other's ears. "I keep thinking about you in me," he confesses. "It's been too long. I fucking—I fucking miss you."
Hyunjin swallows thickly. "Cool," he says, like a complete idiot loser.
Cool, I'm just going to have sex with my best friend in the whole world, in my bed, in my home, after he whooped my ass at video games. He's going to let me come in him. Hyunjin is spiritual enough as it is, but even though sex is great and feels great, he doesn't think he could ever love and crave it if he wasn't so overwhelmingly in love with Changbin.
He leans back, gives himself a few good pumps to get to full hardness, then lines himself up and slowly pushes into Changbin.
"Fuck," Changbin hisses, near breathless.
Hyunjin knows. Whenever Changbin pushes into him for the first time it's like touching the hand of god and for a moment, he's sure he's achieved enlightenment. But the reality is that it burns, it needs to be done carefully, so Hyunjin is slow pushing in and even slower pulling out, establishing a patient rocking in and out of Changbin while he catches his breath.
"You can fuck me harder," Changbin whispers after a few minutes.
Hyunjin might've, back at the dorms or in the shower. When they were desperate, when one of them had already prepared themselves and pulled the other to the side because they needed it so badly. He had a dancer's legs—he could jackhammer Changbin no problem, and vice versa. But...
"Don't wanna," Hyunjin murmurs.
The heat is clouding his mind and he just wants to watch his cock moving in and out of Changbin. He wants to watch Changbin's fingers fist the pillowcase and to watch his body rock and shudder every time Hyunjin presses into him. He just wants to exist here, doing this with the boy he loves, for as long as possible.
Hyunjin covers Changbin's body again and wraps his arms around Changbin's stomach. He braces himself on his elbows and fucks into Changbin like that, a hard thrust followed by a slow slide out. It feels primal. Some ancient part of Hyunjin hisses in contentment to be holding Changbin like this and taking him from behind without a fight. For as long as he wants. Changbin is his best friend. A willing and wanting partner. A life mate. He presses open-mouthed kisses to the tops of Changbin's shoulders and the back of his neck.
Changbin holds it together for as long as he can, but the angle is too good. It's right where he needs to be hit to feel good and he's tightening his body in an attempt not to burst, tightening around Hyunjin's cock and squeezing him just right. Hyunjin's open-mouthed kisses devolve into panting with his forehead pressed to Changbin's sweaty bare back. He thrusts a little faster, and that breaks Changbin.
"Please," he murmurs, feet kicking at the sheets a little and hands clenching and unclenching. "Hyunjinnie, just a little more—little faster—"
"Are you close?" Hyunjin asks.
"So close," Changbin says softly.
Hyunjin can't resist. "It's good, yeah?"
"I'd die for you," Changbin whispers. "I'd die for this."
"Fuck," Hyunjin cries, his insides melting. "Fuck, I love you, hyung, don't say—"
It doesn't matter. His guts come undone, body tightening, and then he spills into Changbin with an uneven gasp.
"Oh," Changbin squeaks.
"Don't worry," Hyunjin pants. "I got you. I still got you."
He thrusts harder and shorter into Changbin, carrying him over his own edge until he's spilling into his hand and the towel-covered pillows, muffling a cry into the pillow. Hyunjin is soft now but he doesn't pull out. He collapses to the side, pulling Changbin onto his side too with a sigh. It won't take long for the cum on Changbin's hand to dry crusty and nasty so he doesn't hold his hyung captive forever, just long enough to memorize the feeling of his cock inside Changbin while he holds him in his arms.
Then Hyunjin is pulling out and sitting up and he's bowled over anew. Changbin is sprawled on his side naked, bangs sticking to his temple and forehead and lips parted to pant. One hand speckled with cum. His own red, soft cock tucked safely against his thighs. And the slightly pearly trail of lotion and Hyunjin's cum leaking out of him.
"What," Changbin grumbles, looking up at Hyunjin.
Hyunjin doesn't say it, but he thinks he'll remember this moment, looking at Changbin fucked out and open and trusting for the rest of his life.
"I love you so much," Hyunjin says. "Thank you."
Changbin smiles, small and warm. "Not quite the childhood friend fuck you were looking for."
"No," Hyunjin says. "But it's better. I don't want to have sex with a best friend who isn't you."
"That's quite the proposition," Changbin says, laughing a little. "Decided to make an honest man of me?"
Hyunjin takes his hand (the clean one) and squeezes it. Changbin links their fingers and Hyunjin smiles, holding their locked hands between them. He tilts his head to the side. "Maybe," he teases. "Would you still be down to cuddle in ten years?"
"With you?" Changbin laughs. "I'll cuddle with you one hundred years from now."
"That's why it's better," Hyunjin says. "No...that's why it's best with you."
The oscillating fan makes the hair on the tops of their heads flutter. A droplet of sweat drips from Hyunjin's chin onto Changbin's thigh. The TV is still playing loading screen music in an infinite loop. Outside, an ahjumma's radio crackles as a song plays...get someone you love...get someone you need...