Archive of Our Own

Donghae was in the elevator going up to Hyukjae's floor after finishing his schedule in the area. He didn't think much of it as he keyed in Hyukjae's excessively long code into the door - really Hyukjae seemed to go overboard with security sometimes, yet not enough to stop Donghae from memorizing it when they came in to his place.

Donghae would wander into Hyukjae's house around two to three times a week and sometimes Hyukjae wouldn't even be there so he'd send him selcas of his smiling face through the last slice of chocolate cake Hyukjae had in the fridge, or him rubbing his bare ass on one of Hyukjae's belongings. Donghae had never been the best at growing up.

Walking into the house, the hallway was dark - Hyukjae tended to leave the lights off whereas Donghae would sometimes be more careless, and liked to come back to a lit home. Walking around Donghae looked for Hyukjae - he had texted him earlier and he had said that he was just going to have some 'me time' tonight. Which of course, as far as Donghae was concerned translated to ‘Donghae, please come over and hang out I would be oh so lonely without you’.

He heard sounds coming from Hyukjae's bedroom and wandered over to let Hyukjae know he was here, as he swung it open though it finally registered what the noise was as he saw Hyukjae tugging his cock harshly to what looked like hardcore porn. From the quick glance he could see everyone was in leather and someone was getting stepped on.

Donghae's first instinct was to awkwardly laugh, it echoing loudly - but he didn't back out of the room. Hyukjae had been so into what he was doing that he hadn't heard Donghae even open the door, but at the laugh Hyukjae turned to him and Donghae was taken aback at how flushed he was as well, the red running down his face and onto his bare chest.

“What the hell?” Hyukjae started yelling, “Get out of here!”

Donghae registered the complaint and realized that getting out of there was probably what he should have been doing, but he had never been good at ignoring his curiosity and he wandered closer instead, as if pulled by an invisible thread.

"Are you watching gay porn?" Donghae asked. "And why is there so much leather?"

Hyukjae slammed the laptop screen closed, and up close Donghae could make out the drops of sweat that were rolling down his temple - he must have been going at it for a while and Donghae tamped down on the urge to reach out to it.

"I don't have to answer questions about my porn in my house, so get out!" Hyukjae shoved at Donghae - and that Donghae had always understood better. He bets if they had made him take one of those cheesy tests in school about what type of learner he was 'kinesthetic' would have been his number one answer.

Unfortunately for Hyukjae he was also prone to react back and so before he knew it Hyukjae was pinned underneath him and Donghae was laughing again, though he hadn't considered as they rough housed that Hyukjae was still naked. So now he had his best friend pinned down naked beneath him and was going nowhere. Hyukjae looked up and when Donghae's fingers tightened instinctively around Hyukjae's wrists he seemed to inhale deeply and hold himself back.

From what? Donghae wasn't sure, but it was enough for him to get up off him and with a spank to his leg he said he'd meet him back in his living room.

Donghae went into the kitchen and rummaged around until he found some ramen - after heating the kettle he poured the hot water and was eating at the table by the time Eunhyuk walked back in, clothed, but still flushed.

“So,” Donghae said, and took a pause to blow and slurp at his noodles. “You’re into that sort of stuff are you?”

Hyukjae covered his face with his hands, the sweater he had put on covered all but his fingertips. “Are we really going to talk about this.”

“I literally don’t know what else I could do after watching you spank it to leather daddy porn.”

“Oh my godddddd,” Hyukjae said his face sliding until it was on the table covered protectively by his arms.

“It wasn’t fucking leather daddy porn you asshole,” he said, punching out to hit Donghae in the side, and then minutes were lost to Donghae punching back and wrestling a little until Donghae remembered he had ramen.

Slightly out of breath now Donghae continued, “But really though, you like that?”

Hyukjae sighed, seeing that the only way out of this was to satisfy Donghae’s curiosity, “Look, I honestly don’t know because, I haven’t exactly tried it. But yeah. I like it.”

“Cool,” Donghae said, fully intending to forget about it. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”

Shrugging Hyukjae moved into the living room, clicking around for something to watch while Donghae sprawled on the couch, laying his head in Hyukjae’s lap. He’d always been clingy, and even knowing Hyukjae was into those sort of things - restraints, control - even those couldn’t stop Donghae from cuddling up.

-

Donghae wouldn't say that he's obsessing over it exactly, but he's always had a healthy curiosity and this is no different. He wonders what it is exactly that turns Hyukjae on about it and ends up watching a lot of porn himself - purely for research purposes. When he watches the men get spanked, or the women getting blindfolded, he doesn't feel much of anything.

When he pictures Hyukjae though, being the one bound, gagged, held down and fucked. He can't help but feel that build of heat in the pit of his stomach, the one that makes his cock harden and his body tighten.

He's just finished watching something where someone got fucked by a dildo that looked about the size of his arm and the sub - yeah, Donghae knows things now - was crying, big tears down his cheeks that almost did something for him, and when he pictured Hyukjae crying that really did something for him, when he decides he's just going to call Hyukjae up, dick still hard and controlling the conversation.

If your best friend can't offer to tie you up and spank you until you come - who can?

It rings a couple times and Donghae is worried that he's forgotten some schedule or another until Hyukjae picks up with a cheerful trill of his name. "Hyukjae-ah," says Donghae warmly, "Listen I was thinking, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Probably nothing," hums Hyukjae, and it sounds like he's chewing on something on the other end of the line. "Did you want to hang out? You usually do that without asking."

"Yeah! I do want to hang out. I was also thinking while we did that I could tie you to the bed and we can see if that gets you off."

Suddenly Donghae hears choking on the other end of the line, he kind of wishes he'd done this in person but his bravery can only go so far as well. "Excuse me?"

"Well, I've been thinking about your situation - wanting all this stuff but not being able to have it. And I get it, if it got out people would definitely think you were a weirdo. So, I was thinking we could try it. Come on, it's not like it's the first time we've gotten off together."

Hyukjae made a protesting noise, "There's a big difference between us trading handjobs because Heechul-hyung was being stingy and you tying me up and fucking me."

"Oh, so you'd want to be fucked?" Donghae said consideringly, he'd known it was a possibility but hearing Hyukjae say it made it even more real.

"I don't know! I think you've got a strange idea in your head."

"Maybe," Donghae said, "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow night, yeah?"

Hyukjae sighed, and there was a pause where Donghae thought that Hyukjae might actually say no until he heard the small capitulation, "Bring your own lube, at least."

-
When Donghae got there the next day he had indeed brought his own lube, as well as condoms, and ties, and miscellaneous other things he thought could be used for kink play, it had kind of been an online grab bag of BDSM.

He keyed in the code again and stepped into Hyukjae’s house. Hyukjae was walking by the front door towards the kitchen and had heard him beeping in and asked, “Even after the last time you don’t feel the need to knock?”

“Do you have some other fetishes I might accidentally discover? Because if not I think we’re pretty safe on this one.” Donghae was getting used to loving the way the tips of Hyukjae’s ears turned pink when they talked about this.

Donghae dumped the bag of sex toys onto the kitchen counter while Hyukjae protested, “Not in front of my salad! I’m still having dinner.”

Summarily ignoring him Donghae said, “Okay, well first I want to make sure that you really want to do this, consent is important. And we need to choose a safe word if we’re going to explore this since I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable in case you drop into subspace.”

Hyukjae looked at him as if he had grown three heads, “Did you research this? Since when can you read?”

“I can read!” Donghae protested, not letting Hyukjae’s insults deflect. “And I’m serious, so what do you want it to be? How about ‘bonbon’?”

Hyukjae’s face hadn’t stopped coloring since Donghae started talking and now along with his ears his face was turning red and the sweet flush would continue and this time Donghae would get to see it and do something about it. Even though he was clearly still embarrassed Hyukjae nodded, “Bonbon is fine.”

“Well, what do you want me to do to you?” Donghae asked, eyes innocently perusing the variety of things they could get into laid out on the table, failing to pretend that he wasn’t hard and getting harder in anticipation.

Shrugging Hyukjae said, “I think the point is that I want you to decide that. But I also don’t want you to damage my internal organs so maybe we should stay away from the toys for now, Mr. Sudden BDSM Expert.”

“Okay,” Donghae said, stepping off the stool and into Hyukjae’s space, bracketing him with his arms on the counter behind Hyukjae, speaking softly, “Why don’t I take you over my knee then? See how quickly we can get you off.”

Donghae’s gaze was intense, it felt like Hyukjae had suddenly stepped on set with him where he was playing the role of Dom. Letting out a stuttering breath and trying to calm his nerves Hyukjae agreed.

Donghae grabbed his wrist and started leading him into the bedroom, rough by nature but this time something more, something intentional and sensual that turned Hyukjae on exactly like he thought it would.

They slip into the bedroom and it’s dark, but neither of them go for the light, allowing the cover of darkness to smooth over any awkwardness that comes from bending your best friend over your knee. Their eyes begin to adjust in the dark and the shadowed versions of themselves adds to the eroticism of the moment.

Donghae reaches for Hyukjae’s shirt first and it goes over his head quickly, Donghae doesn’t bother exploring - he’s never been good at foreplay and right now he just wants to feel Hyukjae’s skin under him. The pants come off quickly too and soon Donghae has a guiding hand on the back of his neck pushing him face down into the bed and over his lap, the pressure delicious against his dick.

Hyukjae lets out a whine when his face is pressed against the mattress and it all feels suddenly so intense.

Donghae looks down at the smooth expanse of Hyukjae's skin underneath him and realizes that now he has to touch him. His dick is all for it, but suddenly he feels unsure of where to start. Shoulders the responsibility of making Hyukjae feel good. He reaches a hand out to his back and begins to trace the ridge of his spine all the way down.

Hyukjae smells clean, like he took the time to shower before Donghae came over - knowing that they were going to do this. He can almost taste Hyukjae's impatience having become familiar with it over the years, but he wants him to wait, wants him to know that Donghae is in control right now, and when he wants to start is when they'll start.

Just when he thinks Hyukjae can't take anymore of the light strokes across his back he rears his hand back and slaps his ass, hearing the loud smack and the surprised 'oh' of pain and pleasure clearly. He doesn't wait for the tension to build again and just starts spanking Hyukjae's ass, feeling it grow warm underneath his palm.

Donghae had his suspicions he was going to like this, but he becomes completely immersed in the experience to where he almost feels as though he's above himself - watching him hold Hyukjae down with one hand and land his palm on his tender ass.

Hyukjae is making delicious noises that add to everything - sweet hums and exclamations that go straight to Donghae's cock. Donghae is sweating and everything is building so quickly. His hand is sore so he takes time to rub softly against where he's been spanking. Hyukjae is sniffling as he does this, but when Donghae feels the skin under one cheek, in that sensitive space between his ass and thigh and pinches, the moan he lets out is pure pleasure. He does it again and Hyukjae arches against his hand.

Hyukjae hasn't said much at this point, but after the pinches he utters a single, "Please."

Donghae acquises feeling desperate himself and rolls him onto his back on the bed, and Hyukjae is a mess. He started crying at one point - Donghae couldn't tell you when, and his eyes are wet and his entire face is blotchy and red starting in his face and going down his chest. He starts jacking Hyukjae off but he must have really enjoyed the spanking because he's coming in seconds, all over his stomach, wet and dirty, a sweet relief on his face.

The relief is short lived however because even after Hyukjae comes Donghae doesn't stop stroking him. Donghae is almost expecting him to say something or use his safeword, but he doesn't say a word, just begins to squirm as if trying to get away and the sniffles begin again. Donghae puts a hand on his hip to hold him steady and gets him off again like that until Hyukjae is trembling and has messed his stomach with come.

Donghae has been ignoring his own erection this entire time, too enthralled with Hyukjae's reactions and the pink tint to his skin. Hyukjae looks up at him torn between expecting and dreading Donghaea to go for a third round.

After getting him off the second time however he pulls down his pants, he might as well have taken off his shirt as wel,l but it's so soaked through with sweat at this point that it's worthless. Donghae strokes himself, pulling at his cock quickly until he's grunting and coming hard all over Hyukjae.

Painting his stomach with hot stripes of come that mix with the own release that Hyukjae had moments earlier. He groans and bends over as he comes, planting a hand over Hyukjae's head to steady himself. He feels Hyukjae's hands tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck and Donghae realizes that's the first time Hyukjae has touched him all night.

-

Donghae wouldn't say that it gets awkward from then on, but things are certainly different. He doesn't bring it up from that point forward either - thinking that it's Hyukjae's turn to say something, this is his fetish to begin with.

They begin their promotions and it takes them to Japan. They're having dinner at a place fancier than Donghae had ever imagined when they had been first starting off. The room is wide and has open windows that gaze out into the city skyline.

They're eaten a western style dinner complete with white tablecloth, red wine, and soft music in the background. It's almost romantic - Hyukjae must think so too, because he says, "When we get back to the hotel - you should tie me up and fuck me."

Donghae nods as if this is a casual request from him and hasn't made Donghae's heart start beating a mile a minute. The rest of the dinner is ratcheted with tension. Every sip from the wine and every look from Hyukjae driving Donghae’s blood pressure up. They wrap up their dinner and get in a taxi together, they're quiet in the car, but Donghae can't resist reaching out to touch. Probably would have touched him even if they weren't about to fuck. His hand rests on Hyukjae's thigh and squeezes, making him jump and then settle.

The ride up in the elevator to their hotel room is tense, both of them quieter than usual and gazing at each other from underneath their lashes, knowing what they're about to do. They get into the room and it's clean from where room service took care of it earlier and Donghae feels lucky that he gets to tie Hyukjae up in such a nice place.

When they get in there it's a little awkward, Donghae rummaging through his suitcase for his tie and lube while Hyukjae undresses himself. It feels very intense when he finally has Hyukjae's hands in his and ties his wrists together behind his back, the silk of the tie soft but firm against his skin.

It's different this time than before, the lights bright and exposing every inch of Hyukjae's body to him. He shoves him lightly onto the bed, but with his wrists tied behind his back it's harder to gain balance and he ends up face down on the bed, on his elbows and knees, ass up.

Donghae flashes back to when he took his hands to Hyukjae's ass, how red and warm it had been afterwards. It looks pale and smooth now and he wants to have him. He preps Hyukjae swiftly - the whole point of this to be a little rough with him.

He's been hard forever it feels like so it doesn't take much before he's pressing the tip of his dick to Hyukjae's ass and pressing slowly in, the feeling surreal. Hyukjae groans under him and pushes his hips back, tied hands curling behind his back.

It takes a second for them to get into a rhythm, with Hyukjae not having use of his hands and Donghae getting used to just how fucking tight Hyukjae is, but then they're fucking roughly, the headboard slamming against the wall and Donghae pressing Hyukjae’s shoulders down into the mattress until he's lying flat and pistoning into him as if he's merely a fucktoy. There's a moment in the middle where Hyukjae lets out a choked sound and clenches tightly, but Donghae keeps going, Hyukjae's orgasm not being even close to the point of this.

Hyukjae keeps moaning even after he’s come, pushing his hips back and muttering, “Use me, use me,” and it drives Donghae completely crazy, pushing rougher and rougher into him until he knows Hyukjae will be bruised tomorrow.

When Donghae feels the pull low in his stomach, he pulls out of Hyukjae and strips off his condom before jacking himself quickly - spurting all over Hyukjae's back and his tied hands, and damnit he forgot that was his tie.

He unties Hyukjae and slowly massages his wrists, getting off the bed and whispering, "I'm going to run the bath."

They're both in the bath when Donghae works up the courage to ask, "So, how was it?"

Hyukjae laughs nervously and Donghae follows too as their chuckles echo in the large hotel bathroom. Hyukjae sobers a little though and says, "Honestly?"

Donghae shrugs and nods, indicating for Hyukjae to continue. "I always thought it would be a little different. I don't know."

Donghae nods again and sinks a little further into the bathtub, trying to ignore the disappointment building in his stomach.

They keep fucking in Japan, the loneliness of tour life getting to them a little bit. Every time it’s the same thing, Donghae feels satisfied, but not. Hyukjae thinks it’s almost there, but not quite. Both of them can tell something’s missing, but Donghae can’t tell if it’s the same thing they’re wanting for.

They’ve been in Korea for a couple weeks when he gets a message from Eunhyuk, I want to try something different.

Donghae can’t even begin to imagine what that means. Everything has been so outside anything he’s experienced that ‘different’ falls under a range of a hundred different things.

Hyukjae meets him at his house for once and he has a bag with him, Donghae’s assuming with supplies.

Hyukjae looks more nervous than usual and Donghae starts getting nervous himself when Hyukjae says, "Safeword was bonbon right?"

Donghae nods. What is he planning on doing that might require them to tap out? Continuing Hyukjae says, "I want to take the lead tonight. Do you trust me?"

Donghae involuntarily laughs, feeling the nervous energy creep up inside of him. Does he trust Hyukjae? With what? But Donghae is not one for overthinking and he says, "Yeah. Of course."

They wouldn't be where they are if he didn't.

That's how he ends up tied to his bed with a cockring on and Hyukjae sinking onto his dick. It feels like it's been hours, every minute with the ring around the base of his dick feeling like an eternity. Hyukjae took his time teasing him, Donghae tight lipped as Hyukjae mouthed at his balls and cock - feather light licks that led up to this.

He feels as though he’s in a haze of pleasure, as Hyukjae works himself on his dick he moans and Donghae makes an unrecognizable sound back wanting to be closer. How could he be closer when he's literally inside Hyukjae he's not sure, but that's what he wants.

Hyukjae is going slow, teasing himself too since there's no way he could come at this pace. They're both starting to sweat and it adds to the slip of where their legs are pressed together. Hyukjae bounces up and down slowly, teasingly, letting Donghae’s cock slip almost all the way out of his body before slamming down again, both of them grunting at how deep Donghae’s cock is inside him.

Hyukjae keeps that pace for what seems like forever and suddenly speeds up, rocking his hips up and down, hands planted on Donghae’s chest. Donghae reacts like he's been punched in the gut, his whole body tensing and pulling at the bonds, he lets out an, "Oh, oh," that spurs Hyukjae on and he keeps the pace and says, "Do it."

He didn't even know he'd been waiting for that, but at Hyukjae's command his whole body clenches and he feels himself coming dry his orgasm rocking through him. He lays down panting after the orgasm passes through feeling like it was a train that had come through his body.

Hyukjae is still resting atop him having stayed still through his orgasm and Donghae can see through teary eyes that he's still hard. Hyukjae stares at him his breath coming roughly, and he waits seeing if Donghae is going to call this off, but Donghae presses his lips together and Hyukjae begins rocking his hips again.

Donghae loses track of how many times he comes that night and the last moments when his cock is free and Hyukjae is jacking off over him, coming over his dick until he lets out the few spurts his own cock has are a blur of sensation.

Hyukjae softly wipes him down the way Donghae frequently does with him his fingers tender. Donghae holds his hand for a moment as they come down and when Donghae closes his eyes Hyukjae is a warm presence next to him, but when they open again he’s gone and Donghae feels very cold.

-

Donghae sits at one of his typical lunch spots the next day waiting for Siwon to show up, he had called him earlier today because he thinks he may have gotten in over his head. He thought that he could be what his friend needed, no strings attached, but he’s realizing that while Hyukjae needs the play what Donghae needs is Hyukjae.

It doesn't take long after Siwon has sat down and they've ordered for him to put his concerned friend face on and say, "So, what's going on?"

Donghae hasn't even really figured out how to say it but what comes out is, "I'm being used for my body."

Siwon nearly spits his drink out, "Donghae, are you doing sex work?"

Shaking his head Donghae quickly denies, "No, no, no, it's not like that. I just maybe got into something with someone thinking we could be casual, but I was wrong. I don't think the other person feels the same way though."

Siwon's hands are clasped together and he nods and says, "Tell me more."

Donghae sighs and his gaze moves upwards, recalling the past months of his relationship with Hyukjae, "It's someone I've been friends with for a while. We started having sex, but the line to romance isn't crossing. It's like we're just friends that fuck. And the sex is amazing, but to be honest I'm getting kind of tired of fucking someone who isn't interested in holding my hand."

"Have you tried doing something romantic? You said you guys had been friends for a long time, maybe they don't know how to be anything else with you. You should try going on a date and if things don't work out well then that's that."

Donghae nods, "You're right, I'm not sure even I know how to be anything else with them, but I know what we have now isn't working either."

-

After having lunch with Siwon Donghae settles that the next time Hyukjae and he are together he's going to have them go out instead of having sex, and after only three times he manages to remember his resolution. Hyukjae is walking into the house and they start reaching for each other's clothes instinctively at first but Donghae shakes himself and backs up says, "I got us movie tickets."

Hyukjae looks taken aback and says, "Uh, did you want to see something tonight?"

Donghae nods, trying not to feel the prickle of hurt at Hyukjae’s reaction and says, "Yep, we're going out."

They take Donghae's car and they make their way to the closest theater, with the time Donghae picked they cut it close and Donghae goes in to save their seats while Hyukjae gets snacks for them. Hyukjae comes back in with the popcorn and soda and they put it in between themselves to share.

Donghae feels like this should be cliche romantic, sharing the popcorn between themselves and reaching for it at the same time. Their fingers brush and Donghae feels a frisson of excitement, but he looks over and Hyukjae is distractedly shoving the popcorn in his mouth still gazing at the movie.

The not-date goes on like that for the rest of the night and Donghae is feeling dejected by the time they reach his house again. Hyukjae is on him again when they walk through the door and Donghae feels that dark urge inside him well up again and he pins Hyukjae to the wall and Hyukjae's eyes are finally on him.

Donghae pushes at his shoulders and Hyukjae goes down easily. Donghae’s making his way to hardness and having Hyukjae pressed against the wall as he grinds his clothed cock forward against his face pulls him the rest of the way there. “Take me out,” Donghae says, one hand resting against the wall and the other tangling in Hyukjae’s hair.

Donghae doesn’t take it slowly once his dick is out, stuffing it in Hyukjae’s mouth with Hyukjae moaning around it. He fucks in brutally, holding Hyukjae’s head steady while he pumps his hips quickly, not thinking of anything but losing it.

Hyukjae’s hands are gripping his thighs tight to hold his balance where he’s pressed against the wall with a cock in his mouth. Donghae looks down and Hyukjae’s eyes are closed, wrapped up in the feeling and it’s that that makes him lose it coming in his mouth and pulling out to splatter come against his face.

Donghae is panting and he slides down the wall as well leaning against Hyukjae when he reaches the floor, curled against him.

Donghae reaches a hand down to jack Hyukjae off and he comes across wetness - he’s already come. Donghae sighs and presses a kiss against Hyukjae’s kiss, grimacing when he gets a bit of his own spunk. They sit there, panting and leaning against each other, the hallway dark and Donghae says, “Are you ever going to let me in?”

Hyukjae is looking down the hall, not at Donghae, “I have.”

“We can’t do this anymore,” Donghae says, finally.

Hyukjae looks at him out of the side of his eye and laughs resigned, “I know.”

-

Donghae makes his way up in the familiar elevator, tapping his foot and whistling as he waits for it to rise up. He thinks about meeting with Siwon earlier for coffee, how he had asked about the potential relationship that had been brewing a couple of months back. "Nothing really came of it," Donghae ended up saying, and Siwon nodded calmly before patting Donghae on the back.

Donghae keyed in the lock code and made his way inside the apartment, setting his coat against the table and turning on the TV, settling in to watch a movie.

A sudden yell startles him, "What the fuck?"

"What the fuck?" Donghae returns, he doesn’t even know why they’re screaming.

"This is my apartment only I get to say what the fuck," Hyukjae continues, looking put upon by Donghae lounging on his couch.

Donghae rolls his eyes, "You don't have to yell. Come on I'm browsing for a movie and then I want to order Chinese food, you have nothing in your fridge."

Hyukjae rolls his eyes and sits on the couch where Donghae then lays his head in his lap, cuddling up close. “Put the one on where they fall in love,” Donghae says from his spot laying down.

Hyukjae glances down at him, at how pretty Donghae’s face is from this angle and says, “As you wish.”