Chapter Text
Even as he curls his long elegant fingers around hers in the facsimile of a handshake, Sandalphon can’t help but marvel at how tiny and delicate the Singularity’s hands are. How is it that such a frail mortal body can even contain a soul powerful enough to change the course of the world? A burning rage surges up within him at that thought. It is as if the fates are mocking his purposeless existence with this child who stands before him, oblivious to the potential she holds.
All those centuries trapped in that cage questioning the meaning of his life while staring at, but never seeing, the endless blue sky above. A life not lived, he had waited so long for salvation, which would not come, that the passing of day and night bleed into an eternal twilight. The only thing he had known for two thousand years, was the absence of hope.
And yet before him is a being who has never known despair. Wretched he may be, but Sandalphon is not a selfish creature. He wants to share the bitter taste of desolation with her.
There is something in the Singularity’s eyes, an emotion he cannot give a name to, something akin to pity, but not quite. All he knows is that her gaze stings him, like salt applied to an open wound and he wants to hurt her for it. Spite may be for children but Sandalphon was never truly given the chance to grow into anything before he had everything ripped from him. He has no need for a world in which he has no place. And the Singularity is the embodiment of all that he wants but cannot have. Everything he dreams of becoming but isn’t. He remembers the way the girl in blue had looked at her upon their reunion, all relief and affection and love. In the moment that he shoves the Singularity off the cliff, he regrets nothing.
It is only much later when he feels his form dissipating and the warmth of Lucifer’s wings enfolding him that he feels a tinge of contrition. Even after she had returned from the bottom of the sky, the Singularity’s eyes had held no blame or resentment. It would have been easier if she had hated him, but there was only that same unfathomable expression from before. His last thought before his world fades to white is maybe, just maybe, it looked as if the Singularity was trying hard to understand. Even if it was a figment of his imagination, the thought brings a small semblance of peace to a heart that is unable to love itself.
All Sandalphon had ever wanted, was for someone to tell him that he mattered.