Chapter Text
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Arturia was as silent as usual while she sipped on her tea with one hand, sitting composedly amidst the roses in the garden. Her other hand was absent-mindedly touching her light shawl, to smooth out its creases and keeping it into place, draped over her shoulders and with its ends gracefully falling into her lap.
Princess Rin had gotten used to her lady-in-waiting’s quietness after such a long time of being friends with her, but since she had always disliked silence, it meant that she had to fill it with conversation, no matter how one-sided it could end up being. It was therefore extremely useful that she always had something to talk about and, even though Arturia was quiet, Rin knew that she attentively listened to everything she said. It was usually only after several hours of her talking – and only if requested – that Arturia would intervene with replies of her own.
It should have been a normal afternoon, in which Rin chatted about the matters of the kingdom – the people she had visited, the effort she had put into one project or the other, the contents of her advanced lessons – but unfortunately, on this day, it wasn’t going to be the case.
This time, the conversation consisted mainly of Rin pouring out her anger and despondency regarding her husband’s recent conduct.
To be fair, it wasn’t the first time this happened. Rin’s wedding to Prince Shirou had been nothing short of a fairy tale, but that had soon come to a change when Rin had heard of him ‘being very generous’ with a kitchen maid, just a few months into the marriage. Rumours spread quickly at the palace, and Rin had confronted her husband in both fury and dejection, clearly affected by his licentious behaviour.
Shirou had seemed surprised by her anger and had offered an apology, which had placated her and had made everything go back to normal… but that had lasted only for a few weeks, when other rumours had started to spread once more. What was worse, it ended up not being a one-time occurrence, but it kept happening again and again during the following three years.
Every time whispers of her husband’s ‘generosity’ reached her, Rin raged, despaired, brooded and ultimately forgave. And every time, she ranted about Shirou’s infidelities to Marchioness Arturia, or Saber, the title everyone knew her as and which she preferred. Rin was furious about what was happening, but her pride wouldn’t allow her to show her true feelings to the rest of the palace; as her most trusted servant and probably only friend, Saber was the sole person who was allowed to see her raw anger and pain.
Rin paused in her latest tirade against her husband to study her silent companion. Saber never seemed dissatisfied in her role as a lady-in-waiting, even though the road that had made her become one had been unconventional to say the least.
Saber had been her lady-in-waiting for the past three and a half years now. It had all started with an incident that had happened at the palace, soon after Lady Rin had become engaged to Prince Shirou. Never comfortable in her pre-determined role as a woman, Saber had disguised herself as a man and had joined the army, quickly rising through the ranks due to her prowess, ultimately ending up in the royal guard. There, she had defended the Prince from an attempted murder, getting injured in the process.
She would have been rightfully knighted, if the treatment of her wound hadn’t exposed her real gender.
The entire matter had been considered highly improper, which meant that it had been concealed from the people. Everyone had swiftly been told that the valiant guard who had protected the Prince had died of his injuries, and Saber had quickly been forced to become the wife of one of the most powerful men in the country, Marquis Gilgamesh.
She didn’t know him, had in fact only met him once, yet he had seen her spar and had decided that her skills were too good to be dismissed by forcing her to become a mere wife. Therefore, he had insisted on her also becoming the future Princess’s – Rin’s – lady-in-waiting, in order to be her unofficial personal guard as well. That meant that, among other things, Saber was to wear the formal dresses destined to noblewomen, but hers were usually less cumbersome and tailored so that she could move swiftly in case she needed to save her charge’s life.
Ever since she had heard her story from the gossip that had reached her, Rin had always admired Saber’s unprecedented courage and boldness at taking up a weapon and proving herself in such a rigid society.
At the same time, although she had never asked, out of respect for her lady-in-waiting’s serious and reserved demeanour, Rin had little doubt about the fact that Saber’s current married life was anything but strained and unhappy. She hadn’t been given a choice in it and, while she had never complained – to her, at least – Rin had never seen Saber spend time together with her husband Gilgamesh. She seriously doubted they had even consummated their marriage, considering how aloof Saber always was and how bored and completely uncaring Marquis Gilgamesh appeared to be the rare times Rin happened to meet him.
However, no rumours about their marriage had ever reached the Princess, because Saber didn’t live at the royal palace but in a nearby castle of her own, whose servants were apparently rather tight-lipped, at least when compared to her own.
As soon as she got a grip over herself and shook those thoughts away, Rin immediately regretted doing so, since it left her with the unappealing opportunity to once again face her own husband’s unfaithfulness. After all, while Marquis Gilgamesh seemed to feel only indifference towards his wife, nothing had suggested any infidelity on his part – and this was quite different from her own husband Prince Shirou.
Arturia silently looked at her friend over her teacup. She knew that soon it would be requested of her to offer a response to appease Rin’s anger, but she was slightly hesitant this time. All the other times when this had happened, Arturia had attempted to convince Rin to have a frank talk with her husband, but her stubbornness and pride had prevented the Princess from following such an advice.
As she didn’t know Prince Shirou herself, Arturia doubted it was wise to give credit to what seemed to be only rumours; furthermore, because of the fact that she did not live at the palace and whenever she was there she was required to always be by Rin’s side, she had very few opportunities to investigate the veracity of what was being said. All she could do was believe Rin’s suspicions and offer her her honest opinion on them.
When the Princess gave her an expectant look that meant that she now wanted to hear a reply, Arturia inwardly readied herself. She had become fond of Rin, and she knew that speaking her mind on this subject was going to upset her, and would probably even be capable of damaging their friendship.
“Are you certain, Rin,” she began slowly, trying to stifle the helplessness she was currently feeling and doing her best to be as gentle as possible, “that what you’re doing is worth it?”
Rin gave her an incredulous and slightly appalled look.
“Fighting for my marriage? Of course it’s worth it! How can you even ask something like that?!”
Arturia held back a grimace, having expected Rin to take offence. She did not know how to phrase it the right way, but Rin was her friend, and she was unwilling to avoid telling her what she truly thought.
“I’m not recommending a course of action nor am I telling you what to do – all I’m doing is offering you my thoughts.” She took a deep breath. “These… these kind of situations have been taking place for over three years now, Rin. Why do you keep insisting on this marriage and on accepting your husband back?”
“Because I love him,” Rin replied, her tone firm and without the slightest tremor.
Arturia prepared herself to deliver the rest of her argument, knowing that it was only going to fuel Rin’s anger further.
“Is it… really worth it?” she asked, her voice soft. “If he keeps being unfaithful, it means that he doesn’t respect you.” She paused. “You deserve better than that.”
Rin’s aqua eyes flashed dangerously, but Arturia didn’t let that deter her.
“If this is how he behaves, it shows that he doesn’t love you back, and he doesn’t deserve your love,” she asserted, infusing as much kindness in her words as she could. “He isn’t–”
“He does,” Rin insisted, interrupting her. “He does deserve my love, and he truly loves me as well.”
Arturia knew that the Princess was already boiling with anger, but it wasn’t enough to make her hold back anymore.
“If he did, then why would he keep doing things that hurt you?”
Rin abruptly stood up, glaring at her lady-in-waiting.
“How dare you,” she snarled. “You don’t understand anything. How dare you tell me to give up on the one I love, when I know he loves me back?!”
There was pure anger in her expression as she regarded Arturia coldly. “You are doing this… you are doing this only because you are rancorous and spiteful about your own marital life, aren’t you? You are only interfering because your husband neglects you and trapped you in a loveless marriage!”
Arturia’s already pale complexion became completely white as the colour drained from her face with every word that was leaving her friend’s mouth.
But Rin wasn’t finished yet, and went on, ignoring her lady-in-waiting’s sudden pallor, “You are telling me such horrible things only because you are bitter about what was decided for you – about having had your spouse chosen by others! You envy the love I have in my marriage, one that you will never have!”
Even though Rin’s cruel accusations stung, Arturia chose to ignore them for the time being and pressed forward, “Rin, I have never said and never will say anything about the love you have for him, I’m talking about the love you have for yourself–”
“Shut up!” Rin hissed. “He made a mistake but he isn’t really at fault! I’m simply too clingy, and because I’m so demanding, on this occasion he… he strayed–”
“According to what you told me, he strayed on countless occasions.” Arturia was the one to interrupt her this time, and rather vehemently. “And every single time, you forgave him.”
“Because I love him.” Rin’s tone was uncompromising.
“That is your right, but it’s not going to change anything now – every time this happens you despair and suffer deeply, but you forgive him and take him back! It’s an endless cycle–”
“I told you to shut up!” Rin shouted. “You are awful, Saber! Only because you resent the fact that you were forced into an arranged marriage, you–”
“That,” Arturia’s voice was so cutting that it stunned Rin into abrupt silence and even made her sit down, “is a completely different and private matter, and it has nothing to do with what I’m saying.”
She took a deep breath. “Rin – you can’t let things continue as they are. This entire situation is making you suffer. Talk to your husband about what is happening – if he keeps being unfaithful, please don’t stay with him.”
Rin’s eyes were full of hurt as she suddenly stood up once again.
“I thought you were my friend, Saber.” Her voice was empty and monotone. “I thought I could confide in you, that I could tell you my troubles. Yet all you can think of saying to me is some nonsense about ending my marriage? About leaving the man I love?” Her eyes became icy. “You are no friend of mine.”
Those words felt like a merciless stab in the heart for Arturia. Yet Rin still wasn’t finished.
Giving her a look full of heated contempt, she spat, “You don’t understand what love is, Saber. You never have and you never will.”
Turning around, she walked away, leaving Arturia alone in the quiet garden.
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