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The gathering was small, as was requested. He didn’t have a lot of friends, but those he counted among them were like treasures to him. The turn out had been rather intimate, the grave side was subdued, because the jester of their group had been the one laid to rest.
Gathering in the Stilinski home, the Sheriff had set up the DVD player and a CD player. It was an odd request, but it was laid out in the instructions he’d been given so…who was he to question it. Looking around at the assembled people, it was like the life had left the room. Today had been hard. The last 6 months had been hardest on him, because he promised his son he would keep this secret for as long as he could. Eyes were downcast, faces were tear stained. Even the most stoic and put together of the group looked like they were broken.
“Thank you all for coming. This isn’t an easy thing for me to do. I never thought I’d have to. Stiles…had a specific request for today after we…”
He couldn’t say it. He could not say ‘after we buried him.’
Without another word, he pressed play on the DVD player.
The screen was dark for a minute, and the fumbling with the lens cap was punctuated with a muted swear.
Thumping down in the chair, Stiles looked directly into the camera, and smiled his 1000 watt smile.
“Hey everyone. Sorry to drag you all away from what you were doing but I think it’s okay to ask you to join me here. Today, I just got home from the Doctor’s office. It turns out, the headaches I’ve been getting over the last little while weren’t headaches. I guess if you’re watching this, you’ve figured that out too. I want to hope that I’m sitting there with you, watching this and laughing at how worried I was but something makes me doubt it. But that’s okay, y’know? It really is. We’ve had some good times, and you never know. Maybe it wasn’t the c…I can’t even say it. Maybe I lucked out and pissed off the wrong werewolf. Or got hit by a bus. Or the Jeep finally blew up and I was inside. But I don’t think I’m that lucky either.
“I’ve been listening to some music lately. Trying to find something to help me because I don’t think I’m going to be able to say it all. I want to think that I’m going to be brave, and tell Scott that he’s like a brother to me. Or tell Lydia that she’s the greatest non-girlfriend girl-friend I could ever ask for. I want to hope that I’ll be strong enough to face this and not worry.”
His face crumpled as he sniffed into his sleeve.
“I want to be strong for you and I don’t want you to worry about me. God I hope I can do that for you. Because the fact of the matter is, I don’t want to die until I’m old and grey, but that isn’t an option for me.”
Taking a moment to compose himself.
“Dad, in the envelope you got there’s a CD. Just…pop it in and play track by track. I found this song while I was thinking the worst and…I want this to be my gift to you. Don’t mourn me.”
The TV went black for the duration of the first portion of the song. The video was still playing, but Stiles seemed to have timed it out.
Something I've been wanting to say to you.
Are you sitting down?
Pretty soon, there will be a day,
when I won't be around.
I'm not trying to scare you
or play on your sympathy.
Just want to remind you
that life is a symphony.
Everyday
Live it like it's your last one.
Every kiss
Kiss it like it's your first love.
If I had one wish; then I would wish
That you would live today like
Everyday
Everyday is your last one.
The assembled group wiped their eyes, Scott and Lydia gave each other a tight hug. It was selfish to think, but they hoped he’d say their names again before the video finished, just, one more time.
The song stopped after the chorus, and the TV flickered to life. There was Stiles, some time had passed, but not much. He was much paler, with dark circles under his eyes. He’d lost weight, and he didn’t have much to lose. Despite everything, his eyes still maintain the fire inside that kept him going. He was in an unfamiliar room, but closer examination showed he was in a hospital with something hooked up under his shirt. He’d had a stint installed to administer his cancer treatments. When he was at school, he looked closer to normal, but here, without the deception you could see he wasn’t doing well.
Smiling a tired smile, he gave a little wave.
“Hope you’re all hanging in there. As you can probably see, I’m still sticking it out. To answer your question, as to why you never smelled the cancer on me. I went to Deaton, and asked for something that would mask my sickness. He’d given me the moss to put into my breakfast, and that was that. I’d toyed with the idea of asking for the Bite, but I couldn’t. I’m not strong enough to live life as a werewolf. Maybe I’m a coward, or just too fucking chicken because it would hurt for like a day. I couldn’t go to Derek to ask, because I didn’t want him to look at me like I was crazy. Or worse. It’s stupid to think that even with this, I’m most afraid of him rejecting me. I just hope that by the time you’re watching this I’d have grown a pair and told you that I love you.”
Closing his eyes as a shiver of nausea moved through him.
“God please let me tell him. Please let me live that long.”
Slamming his hands into the chair, he just screamed at the ceiling, breaking down into dry rasping sobs because he didn’t have enough left in him for tears. The door behind him flew open, and Stiles Dad rushed in, holding his son while he screamed himself out. Even now the Sheriff looked haunted by that day. Eventually the screen went black with simple instructions appearing “Press play on the CD.”
People always rushing around,
Wasting time on money.
Don't be just a face in the crowd.
Getting high and running from something.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do.
In the end, it's up to you.
Everyday
Live it like it's your last one.
Every kiss
Kiss it like it's your first love.
If I had one wish; then I would wish
That you would live today like
Everyday
Everyday is your last one.
Derek looked absolutely destroyed at Stiles admission on the TV and subsequent break down. He’d never heard Stiles say those words to him in real life. His heart, simultaneously swelled, and shattered at the admission. He’d never been brave enough to put a word to it either. Sliding to the ground, he wrapped his arms around his legs, trying to hold it in. A strangled cry was all that issued from his mouth when Scott and Lydia wrapped themselves around him.
After the song stopped, it took a bit longer for the camera to come back up. Stiles lay in the bed, much as he did in the last month of his life. There was only the drip to help him manage the pain, and that’s it. He looked calmer. More relaxed. More…ready. By this point, they’d found out the truth, and jumped straight to forgiving him his duplicity and not telling them.
“So. Jackson. You just left the room. I have to say I’m surprised you’d come all this way just to say goodbye. I promise, I won’t tell anyone you even cried a little.”
Smiling a faded smile, he tries shrugging.
“Oops. Sorry. Wolf’s out of the woods on that one.”
Jackson let out a choked sob, surprising a few people.
“I think this is the last I have in me for this. I’m just so tired. I have to edit it still. Not easy to do when you can’t see much to save your life. So now, it’s time to be serious. Marvel at the fact I’m the one who said that.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was pale like a skeleton and he looked worn out.
“I’m counting on all of you to take care of each other because I won’t be there to do it. Make sure my Dad asks out Mrs. McCall on a date, because he really needs to get out of the house, and I know how much he cares about her. And make sure Scott goes to Vet school, because he’s smart enough and Deaton isn’t getting any younger. Jackson, make sure you tell Lydia that her love is what saved you, more than just the Kanima shit, but in your darkest hours, when you didn’t have it in you to go on. And Derek…my Derek…I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. Forgive me…please find it in you to forgive me. And Lydia, don’t scream for me. Please, just stay the human girl who loved me as a friend because you needed someone who understood the way your brain worked. And stay close. Let that be my legacy. Let this not be in vain. Please…just love each other, because I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.”
The image faded out, and the DVD finished the rest of the song.
Dip your feet into the ocean.
Let the sun beat on your skin.
Soak in every emotion,
that you never thought you'd live.
And never take for granted,
every breath you're breathing in.
Go everywhere you've never been,
And everyday
Live it like it's your last one
Every kiss
Kiss it like it's your first love
Everyday
Live it like it's your last one
Every kiss
Kiss it like it's your first love
And if I had one wish then I would wish
That you would live today like everyday
Everyday is your last one
Everyday