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“Mr. Jung,” he tried to open his eyes, but they felt so heavy. He couldn’t do it.
But then the voice came again, a little louder this time like they were right next to him.
He tried again, opening them slowly before squeezing them shut against the bright light of the room.
“Mr. Jung, I’m Dr. Choi, do you remember what happened to you,”
Jaehyun groaned, head rolled to look at the man next to him, tried to sit up but couldn’t. Out of the corner of his eye the man came into focus wearing a bright blue pair of scrubs.
Doctor, he’d said. Was he sick?
“What?”
There was a woman beside him, helping him sit up by raising the bed with a gray remote. Above her head a couple clear bags hung, dripping steadily into a few different tubes that all led to his hand.
“How are you feeling,” the doctor asked after.
“Weird,” and he did, he couldn’t decide what was happening, his head felt stuck in a cloud.
The doctor gave a little smile, “does anything hurt,”
“No,” he looked around, saw a few monitors, followed their wires to himself where they were attached to his chest and his finger and his arm. “My head feels heavy,”
“You sustained a minor head injury, the heavy feeling is likely from the meds we have you on, and the anesthesia, it should wear off in an hour or so,”
“What happened,” he asked, watched the woman move to click away at the computer in the corner.
“Do you remember anything,”
He shook his head, closed his eyes when the action made his stomach roll.
“Do you know what day it is,”
“Is it Saturday,”
The doctor grinned, “it is,”
Jaehyun giggled, lifting his hand that weighed a bazillion pounds to cover his mouth. “That was a guess,”
Suddenly he felt loopy and loose, laughed harder when the nurse snickered with him.
“I’ll come check on him again in an hour, page me when the CT scan comes back,” the doctor sighed, handing the chart in his hand back to the woman who nodded at him.
“He has a bunch of people waiting to see him, can I let them in,” she asked as he moved for the door.
“I’ll tell Jisoo to get them,”
Jaehyun lolled his head back, fascinated by how heavy it felt, how heavy he felt. He popped back up, with a purpose, “was I hurt,”
The woman turned, “you were, but you’re all better,”
“Is that why my leg hurts,”
She nodded.
“I don’t remember,”
She nodded again, smiling, “You should, but tell me if you don’t okay, we don’t want to leave you in the dark too long,”
He bobbed his head. He’d only just dropped back to his pillow when the door opened again.
Curious, he sat up, glad he did.
“Whoa,” he said, smiling from ear to ear when a boy, with dark hair, big eyes and legs for days rushed in and to his side. An angel, amazing! The nurse laughed again.
“Jae,” the boy croaked, lunging to lay across him, face tucked into his neck in a way that Jaehyun really liked. He laughed to himself, fuzzy head really enjoying the attention of someone so cute. He hugged him back because he was really warm and right there. “You scared me,” he sniffled.
Jaehyun pulled back instantly, took his face in his hands as he looked him over. Was he hurt?
“Who did this?” panic set in watching this adorable boy start to cry.
The other boy tipped his head, “what,”
“Who made you cry? I’ll kill them,” all seriousness, he totally would.
The boy laughed but looked scared, head whipping around to the nurse.
“He has temporary amnesia,”
“Oh,” he said, hands never leaving their spot where they were clinging to scratchy material over his chest, “but he’ll remember things right,”
“He should, temporary amnesia is very common after minor head injuries,”
“Okay,” the boy said, fixing his gaze back on him, a sweet smile settled on his face.
Jaehyun let their conversation wash over him, unaffected while he kept his hands on the boy pressed close to him. He didn’t understand why he was so affectionate for being virtual strangers, but he was too into what was happening to properly care.
“You’re easily the cutest person on the planet,” Jaehyun said without hesitation, his stomach was simmering, and he felt really, pleasantly warm, eyes unable to tear away from the other.
The boy laughed, “thank you,”
“I mean it,”
The boy shook his head, teeth sunk into his bottom lip, “Stop it,”
“I can’t, I like your smile,”
The other swatted his chest, “you really don’t remember who I am,”
He shook his head after wracking his brain, “I wish I did, you’re so cute,” and liked the way color settled on the other’s cheeks after he’d said it. “What’s your name,”
“Jungwoo,”
“Jungwoo,” he said reverently, wishing he only had that one thing to say for the rest of his life, “Jungwoo, Jungwoo, cute,”
Jungwoo laughed again, reached to push his hair away from his eyes, which made Jaehyun cross his eyes a little, trying to watch his hand. “How are you feeling,”
“Floaty and good,”
“That’s good,” he said with a watery noise, “that’s good,”
“Are you still sad,”
“No,” Jungwoo assured him, “no, I’m just relieved, I’m glad that you’re alright Jae,”
He tilted his head, watched the other for a quiet moment before asking, “are we friends,”
The other looked a little pained but nodded his head.
“I bet I have a crush on you, I could totally see myself having a crush on you,”
Jungwoo didn’t say or do anything, just sat quietly on the edge of his bed, let Jaehyun play with his fingers when their hands met.
When his fingers hit a cool piece of metal on Jungwoo’s finger he froze. A ring wasn’t a big deal but even floating endlessly like he was, a ring on that particular finger meant married, taken, not for you.
“You’re married,”
“I am,”
“Oh my god,” he let out this really pained, distraught noise, dropped Jungwoo’s hand like it had burnt him. This was the end of his world, why were things so unfair, “oh my god that’s so unfair! Who is it, why oh my god,”
Jungwoo smiled, wider and wider till he laughed.
“Are you laughing at me,” he balked, heart sinking, “please don’t laugh at me Jungwoo, I’m…so low right now, I’m heart broken,” he flopped his head to the side, stared back at the nurse who was watching them with an amused eyebrow quirk, “do you have anything for that?”
“Afraid not hun, but he might,” she winked at Jungwoo before stepping out.
“You’re not going to do anything crazy or cruel to my husband if I tell you right,”
“I’ll consider being civil,” he whispered, genuinely feeling like the ground opening up and swallowing him would be better than enduring this.
Jungwoo leaned closer and closer to him till Jaehyun didn’t have anywhere else to go, pillow nearly flat underneath him.
Jungwoo kissed him, gently at first and then not gently at all. Jaehyun felt his eyes bug for a second till his drowsy self was powerless to being kissed like that and gave himself up to it. Jungwoo’s hands framed his face as he pried his mouth open with his own, tiny distressed noise leaving him after a moment.
When they finally pulled apart, Jungwoo’s breath rushed out of him while Jaehyun had the minor mental capacity to think, ‘oh shit, I’m gonna get my ass kicked for that,’ which he expressed to Jungwoo.
“Whoa, is, they’ll be mad right, that you did that,”
“I think he’ll be okay with it,”
“What, is he fine with you making out with random guys in hospital beds,”
“Not sure, are you,” Jungwoo asked, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
“What?” he couldn’t tell if his head was spinning from the drugs, the kiss, his confusion or his proximity to Jungwoo.
“You Jae, I’m married to you,”
He sat up as fast as he could, in shock which was thankfully not that fast at all because of the drugs. He lifted his hand to the bright light and laughed seeing the paler skin on his ring finger where a ring has definitely lived for quite some time.
“Wow,” he whispered, “where’s mine,” looking back to Jungwoo who handed him a matching silver band, easily slipping it back onto his finger.
“They took it off to run their tests, I also have your watch and a few bracelets,”
“I needed this more,” he said, not wanting to take his eyes off the ring on his finger but finding the strength so he could look at Jungwoo instead.
“How did I manage to trick you into this,” he found himself asking with a burst of giddy laughter.
“You didn’t trick me,” Jungwoo got really, really close to him which Jaehyun decided to savor in case he was dreaming and about to wake up.
“Why did you marry me then,”
“Because you asked me to,” he whispered, eyes half lidded and warm, “and I love you,”
“You do?”
“I do, so much, and when you’re less loopy I’ll show you,”
“Whoa really,” that brought another laugh, he felt so loose and bubbly, like anything hurting or being in pain was a long-gone concept.
“Really,”
“Wow, cool,”
“This Jae is so goofy,”
“Am I usually not,”
“You are,” Jungwoo laughed, “it’s just different,”
“You still like me though,”
“I love you, absolutely,” Jungwoo promised, leaning close for Jaehyun to kiss him. Jaehyun could’ve sworn he heard quick beeping but couldn’t be completely sure and then the door to his room was opening again and Jungwoo was pecking him a couple times, not putting too much space between them as a few people clamored into the room.
“Oh, should we come back or…” a light, cheery voice said.
“No, no, we’re good,” Jungwoo answered, sitting back but keeping a hand on him as he got comfortable on the edge of his bed.
The others chorused ‘Hey Jae,’ while one called him Superman. He was smiling gently with fluffy blueish black hair, shuffling closer to hand him a stuffed bear that had a patchwork band aid on its head and a pink heart sewn onto its tummy.
“Don’t ever scare us like that again, you hear me,” he said, finger held out in warning before he kissed the top of Jaehyun’s head, whispering that he was glad he was alright though. Jaehyun felt like his brain was being rattled and he could only describe the feeling that settled over him as fear, like he was being sat, prone in front of a herd of wild, hungry animals. These people didn’t seem wild, but he definitely didn’t recognize them either. Though they seemed to know and love and had worried about him and that made him feel really awful.
“You nearly gave Woo a heart attack Jae,”
And that made him feel worse. His eyes got hot, throat constricting but then Jungwoo was right there.
“Jungwoo,” he whispered, even he could hear the little bit of panic in his voice.
“I’m here, it’s okay,”
He wondered where that nice, loopy feeling had gone, he liked that way more than being aware of the fact that he’d forgotten people who were important to him.
“They’re…I’m sorry,” Jungwoo thankfully was able to pick up on what was wrong without him having to find the words to say it.
“It’s okay, they’re our friends,” Jungwoo soothed him, turned a little to the others, “Jae has temporary amnesia and he’s a little out of it,”
Jaehyun coughed to dislodge the lump in his throat, “I’m sorry,”
The one with the blueish hair stepped back, “no, no I’m sorry, I should’ve asked…I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m Doyoung,”
Jaehyun relaxed, searched his fuzzy head for a memory or moment attached to that name but couldn’t find anything. He smiled anyway, looking at him closely, “your hair’s blue,”
He laughed, hand reaching up to tuck some behind his ear, “yeah it is,”
“That’s cool, Jungwoo,”
Jungwoo hummed.
“Isn’t that cool,”
“Very cool Jae,”
The others were quiet while Jaehyun got lost staring at his angel of a husband, still not totally able to believe that that was real, through the fuzz, he heard Jungwoo say, “his doctor said it’d probably go away in a few hours, once the medicine wears off but for now…he’s a little loopy,”
“No shit,” one of them said, digging in their pocket for their phone, which they held up in his direction. “Hi Jae,” they said which instantly made Jaehyun laugh and feel better. Jungwoo giggled too which made him stop, he had to watch him laugh, it was beautiful the way his body gave into his happiness, the way his eyes lit up. He felt like he’d just met him, but he already knew that he liked him best when he laughed.
“You don’t remember us Jae,” a taller boy, slipped a hand through the hair of the boy with the phone, moving past him and closer to his bed.
He looked at the tall boy with black hair, the shorter one with the phone who was really pretty but paled in comparison to Jungwoo, and the final boy, was handsome, ashy blonde hair and sharp features that warmed as he came to stand close to Jungwoo, giving his husband a watery smile that cracked as he laughed.
Again, he wracked his brain for memories but came up short.
“No, I’m sorry,” he whispered, feeling horrible.
“It’s okay, I’m sure you’ll remember,”
The one closest to Jungwoo started talking to his husband, “what else did the doctor say,”
“Minor head injury from the crash and temporary amnesia but they don’t seem too worried. He had to get a few stitches in his leg and then he’ll need some PT but they don’t seem worried about that either,”
He nodded, “no one’s as lucky as you Jae,”
Jaehyun smiled up at him because he didn’t like seeing the tears in his eyes or the frown on his face.
“I’m Taeyong,”
“Jaehyun,”
The others laughed.
“Ten and Johnny babe,” Jungwoo offered, pointing to each of them as he followed his movement. He grinned at them which made them all laugh again so he laughed too, warmed up and secure seeing them all happy.
“Hey, did you guys know that I’m married,”
They all shared looks and then looked at Jungwoo who was laughing at him.
“Wow Jae,”
“I know, that’s what I said too,” he exclaimed.
“Did he really say wow,” Taeyong asked Jungwoo, moving again to rub Jungwoo’s back as he sagged into him.
“He did,” Jungwoo said, head half buried into Taeyong’s stomach, arms hanging onto his waist tight. Jaehyun had a brief moment of fierce jealousy but pushed it down remembering the way Jungwoo had kissed him and the rings that sat on their fingers.
“Let’s keep him hopped up, he’s so cute when he’s loopy,” Ten commented, watching Jaehyun’s face scrunch up with each passing thought.
“Let’s not Tennie, I’d rather he just got better, and didn’t need any drugs,”
“Sure, sure of course Woo, I’m sorry,” he said, looking like he was just trying to smooth things over and then his face morphed when he looked at Jungwoo, expression changing to show that he was actually very sorry. “I’ll stop filming him too…got more than enough blackmail material,”
Taeyong rolled his eyes, tightened his arm around Jungwoo, “he’s not gonna be embarrassed by anything he just said,”
“Beg to differ,” Ten seemed convinced as he pocketed his phone, hurrying forward to join Doyoung by the edge of the bed. “I’m happy you’re alright,”
Jaehyun smiled, “thanks,”
“And next time, no speeding okay, Woo will understand if you’re a little late to dinner,”
Jaehyun felt his face scrunch, eyes darting to look at Jungwoo, who was chewing his lip and turning to hide against Taeyong again.
“That’s how this happened,”
He watched Jungwoo’s head bob a little.
“Jungwoo, I’m sorry,”
The other turned, moved away from Taeyong, back to him, “it’s okay but next time, I don’t care how late you are, I prefer you safe okay,”
Jaehyun nodded so fast, the room spun, “car crash,” he whispered, mind suddenly flooded with images of a stale green light and shattered glass, a car running a red across the intersection. He swallowed thickly, feeling for the first time since he’d woken up like he knew what had happened to him. “I’m so sorry,”
“No, you’re alright and that’s all that matters,”
Jaehyun decided to believe him, even though he really looked like he might cry.
“Okay, I’ve seen Jungwoo cry enough in the last few hours for my whole life, he’s okay, he’s awake and fine,” Johnny crossed around the bed to stand next to Taeyong, “it’s okay,”
Jungwoo turned to grin up at Johnny, moved his head quickly in agreement, he blew out a heavy sigh, “I know,”
“And Jae,” Johnny said so Jaehyun hummed, not taking his eyes off Jungwoo though, “please, for all of our sakes, don’t scare him like that again,”
Jaehyun couldn’t speak for the version of him that they all knew and loved but right now, even a little fuzzy, he knew he’d never willingly make Jungwoo look like this again. He’d never hurt him or cause him pain. Not if he could help it. He smiled at Jungwoo when he looked back down at him, hoped he knew, without his saying so that Jaehyun hated scaring him and making him worry and never wanted to make him cry again.
Jungwoo got close to him to rest their foreheads together, moving so he could occupy the tiny space beside him which made Jaehyun really, really happy. The fog over him settled, like a weight while Jungwoo took hold of his hand and squeezed, it lured him into a warmth he wasn’t expecting. Before he could say anything to Jungwoo about how he never wanted to see him cry again, the nurse from earlier was coming back into the room, smiled at all of them as she made her way to pump by his bed. She tapped at it for a moment and informed Jungwoo that his doctor ordered one more dose of morphine for him and that he’d likely fall asleep on them.
Which happened faster than he was expecting, the feeling settled quick and with a vengeance. The others enjoyed this apparently as they teased him while he muttered nonsense and faded in and out. He listened as much as he could through his impending sleep, their voices relaxing him completely.
“Whoa, I’m sleepy,” he admitted, searching for Jungwoo’s hand to hold.
“Then sleep babe,”
“You won’t leave,”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Jungwoo promised, leaning forward to kiss his forehead gently, tucking the thin, itchy sheet over him.
“If I wake up with no husband, I’m gonna be very upset,”
Jungwoo laughed, pressed another kiss between his eyes, “I promise you won’t, okay, I’m not going anywhere,”
“He’s going to be very upset Jungwoo,” Johnny’s voice said teasingly which made everyone but Jungwoo snicker, his husband was too preoccupied scratching his head, he probably wasn’t even listening to them. Maybe it was the new medicine coursing through him or maybe it was Jungwoo’s fingers stroking through his hair, their friends hushed chatter filling his ears, but he fell asleep in record time.
When he woke up, he was no longer lost in a fog and his limbs, though sore, weren’t so tingly or heavy. He shifted a little then stopped when he felt the warmth against his side shift too, looking down to see a head of dark brown hair tucked against his shoulder. Jungwoo. His heart lifted.
Jaehyun stretched as much as he could to kiss the top of Jungwoo’s head, nosing into his roots and staying there till Jungwoo snuffled, waking up.
“Hi,”
Jungwoo looking back at him, sleepy smile making its way across his face, “hi,” he made a little noise in his throat, eyes glued to his like he was deciding what to say. Jaehyun figured that he was wondering if he was still without his memories of them. It was such an odd feeling, just looking at someone and wondering what they meant while you knew you meant so much to them.
This was Jungwoo, his Jungwoo who said yes instantly in college when Jaehyun asked him out for coffee, confessing he’d had a crush on him after orientation week, not wanting to part ways after their third date. Jungwoo who was terrified for months that he was more in love with him than Jaehyun was with him and broke up with him for a couple weeks after convincing himself that Jaehyun just wasn’t that into him. He remembers Lucas, of all people, knocking some sense into him, it was so easy, just tell him you’re crazy about him so he can stop coming over to my place to cry and eat all my food, so he did. And didn’t regret it when Jungwoo asked if they could skip their next classes, offering to hole up in his dorm for a really memorable and enjoyable 16 hours. He remembers taking Jungwoo home for the holidays and showing him around his hometown and his mom fawning over him because he was so skinny, too skinny and glaring at him like that was Jaehyun’s fault and not Jungwoo’s annoying metabolism. And he remembers Jungwoo crying when he’d asked him to marry him a few years after their first ever date and promised to love him with everything he had for the rest of their lives which was genuinely such an easy thing for him to do. After so long with him, loving Jungwoo was as simple and as vital to him as breathing. Their whole lives together to date rushing back to him like a floodtide made him wonder how he could ever forget someone so integral to his existence. How hard had he hit his head? Not that it mattered now because he remembered and he was fine and Jungwoo was here, looking at him like he didn’t know how to look away.
“I remember you,”
Jungwoo blinked, eyes watery when they opened again as a smile, the one Jaehyun loved the most, split his face before he surged up to kiss him. Jaehyun hummed into his mouth, feeling stupid for forgetting him for even the briefest time.
Jungwoo whimpered a little when they pulled apart, fingers delving into his hair as he scooted further up to lay beside him on his pillow.
“Love you Jae,”
“Love you more,” he promised, watched Jungwoo’s eyes flicker closed, “Sorry I woke you up,”
“Worth it,” Jungwoo grinned, face tipped up, “are you uncomfortable, should I move,”
“No, no don’t you dare,”
That made Jungwoo giggle, “Okay,”
“You alright,”
“Why are you asking me that, you’re the one laid up in a hospital bed,”
“Because I know you,” and he did. Better than he knew himself he figured after so many years together.
Jungwoo nodded till he couldn’t look at him anymore, moved back to hide against his neck.
“I’m right here Woo, I’m here, I’m okay,”
Jungwoo whined a little before he was able to make himself talk, “I don’t ever want to get another phone call like that, Jae, you will never…that was so scary,”
“I know baby I know, I’m sorry,”
“You don’t have to be sorry Jae, I shouldn’t be making the fact that you were in an accident all about me,”
“You were scared and you’re my husband, this is absolutely about you too,”
Jungwoo took a deep breath, arm laying across his chest as he settled further into him with a heavy sigh, “it could’ve been worse, and the doctors reminded me of that a few times but sitting out there, not knowing anything, getting that phone call was terrifying,”
“I know,”
“I couldn’t breathe Jae,”
His chest ached thinking about how all of that felt to Jungwoo. He was already prone to panic, and he hated that he’d put him through that, “I’m sorry,”
“Stop apologizing you’re okay and that’s all that…that’s all I should be thinking about right now,”
“Mhmm,”
“No speeding or rushing lights okay, you’re allowed to be late, I’ll never be upset if you show up late but in one piece okay,”
Jaehyun raised his eyebrows, smirking down at him, “I’m gonna remember you said that,”
Jungwoo huffed, tipped back to look at him, ignored his teasing in favor of checking on him, “you promise you feel alright,”
“I promise,”
“Don’t lie Jae, they won’t let you go if something’s wrong,”
“Wouldn’t that just give me more motivation to lie,”
“Jaehyun,”
He laughed at the look the other gave him, “I feel fine Jungwoo, a little sore and groggy but I think I feel good, please stop worrying,”
“I’m trying…it just feels impossible,”
Jaehyun smiled at that, feeling horrible once again for putting him through this.
“I hear you, baby, I can’t imagine what I would do or think if something happened to you. If I thought I was going to have dinner with you only to get a phone call that you’d been in a car accident, were unconscious being taken to the nearest hospital…I would’ve freaked. I can’t even begin to imagine where my head would’ve gone with that,”
“A really bad place,”
“I’m sorry,”
Jungwoo tipped back again to look at him, “it’s okay,” sounding like he was still trying to convince himself of that too but Jaehyun was patient. He knew he’d need some time to feel reassured about all of this. Knew it might be a while before Jungwoo was able to turn away from him without fearing the absolute worst and he probably wouldn’t let him drive a car for a while. Not that Jaehyun was super anxious to do that anyway.
“Now seriously, does anything hurt,”
“No, I’m good,”
“Are you sure, I mean, you’re sort of depriving me my right to play nurse for you,”
“Oh okay, I’m, it hurts, everything hurts,”
Jungwoo laughed even as he said, “Don’t push it,”
Jaehyun smiled back at him till he was laughing too, wincing a little, “wow, laughing hurts without morphine,”
“I bet, you were pretty hopped up,”
“Great,” he pulled Jungwoo closer when he snuggled into him, “Ten took a video…or did I dream that,”
“No, no he definitely took a video of you,”
Jaehyun shook his head, not having anything to say to that so Jungwoo kept going.
“I mean you were saying things like wow and whoa and being really cute,”
Jaehyun try to keep down the snort, “great, can’t wait for that to come back and bite me,”
Jungwoo rolled his eyes a little at him but Jaehyun could feel his relief and was enjoying the fact that he was able to joke about this. “But I guess there are way worse things that could’ve come out of this,”
Jungwoo was quiet after that, snuggled back close to him, probably wanting to go back to sleep after the long, tiresome ordeal they’d been through. He knew how he felt so he didn’t call Jungwoo on the fact that he was squeezing him really tight, and he didn’t say anything about the collar of his gown feeling wet. He just wrapped his arms around Jungwoo, held him closer and kissed his head. It was the very least he could do for putting him through hell today and it wasn’t like holding onto him and reminding him he loved him was hard for him. Jaehyun didn’t want to let go of him anyway.