Chapter Text
Long ago in ancient China, there were people who gained strong spiritual power through hard training and lifetime discipline, they were called the cultivators.
Every district had its own cultivational sect, whether it was small or big, to guard the common folks from supernatural or demonic creatures might lurk in the darkness of woods or when the sunburst had gone to its sanctuary. Ghosts and living corpses, possessed animals or even humans, ordinary humans knew better than to confront these kind of sightings by themselves, reckless ones would pay with their lives.
But even though smaller sects and rogue cultivators were scattered all along the land, the entire cultivation world was led by five great sects.
Nie sect was based in Qinghe. The founder of this sect was known as a butcher, the exact reason why they preferred sabers as their main weapons rather than swords like the others. They were known for their violence and aggression in a battle.
Jin sect was based in Lanling. The easy way to distinguish Jin sect members was by spotting the red vermillion mark on the centre of their foreheads. It was a royal cultivational sect known for their luxury and gold as also their archery skills.
Jiang sect was based in Yunmeng. Founded by a rogue cultivator, Jiang sect members had been taught to attempt the impossible since they were children. With silver bell hanging on the members’ sashes, the disciples of this sect was known for their honesty and unrestrained way.
Lan sect was based in Gusu. It was known for their beauties both in men and women, their elegance and grace, their strict thousands of rules which bore strong disciples with strong sword arts and accompanied by equally strong musicality as the medium of their second weapons.
The last and the greatest of them, Wen sect was based in Qishan. With a sunburst aflame as their crest, Wen sect was the most powerful sect with their enormous source of land, people and skills. Their inventions and knowledge about cultivational aspects had massive contributions to help people.
These great five sects ran a balanced system since their founders had built their sects from scratch. They had worked together for a long time with the same purpose to protect common folks without wanting to climb above the others. They had respected each other and helped one another.
A truly beautiful and peaceful world to be born and raised.
In the month of the winter, when the full moon was hanging high and clouds were letting her blue light basking the colours in its mysterious hue, a quiet cry was heard from one of the cabins in Cloud Recesses, Gusu.
The madam of the Lan sect had just given birth to a second son of their sect leader. The baby’s cry was carried with the wind, subdued as soon as his mother had her warm arms around his tiny body. Even though her husband was nowhere near the cabin, Madam Lan was satisfied to have his firstborn running into her cabin after given permission by the midwives.
“Mother!” The boy fell on his knees with hurried thud.
“Ssh,” Madam Lan hushed his older son fondly, “your brother has just gone to sleep, A-Huan. Please mind your voice.”
Lan Huan covered his quiet giggle and climbed onto the duvets to take a closer look of his baby brother. He looked at the bundle in his mother’s arms in wonder, eyes wide and filled with happiness.
“What is his name, Mother?” Lan Huan asked with the innocence of a four years old child.
Madam Lan smiled down at his newborn son, “A-Zhan. His name is A-Zhan.”
“A-Zhan.” Lan Huan tried the name on his tongue and fell into another giddy giggle, “A-Zhan, A-Zhan, I’m your brother, I’ll be the best brother. Let’s grow up strong together!”
The baby stirred and fell back into his deep sleep, not yet minding about the world, not yet understanding about anything.
☁ ☁ ☁
Lan Zhan didn’t really know if his family had run in different ways. For as long as he remembered, his mother lived in a secluded cabin in the west wing of Cloud Recesses and his father in the other in the east wing. He and his brother had always lived in the main quarters in the centre.
Other children had their parents, either the father or the mother, to wake them up, dress them, feed them every morning before they went to classes, but to him and his brother, it had always been their nannies. And now, that their uncle had deemed Lan Huan old enough, it was his brother waking him up, helping him dress and feeding him everyday.
They couldn’t feel jealous of the other children. Their uncle had told them that they were the sons of sect leader, they had to be stronger than the other children. Lan Zhan did feel jealous when he saw his friends playing with their mothers at the mountain behind Cloud Recesses. But he had Lan Huan. He felt grateful for his taller presence.
There were two moments Lan Zhan treasured the most in his young life.
First, when he and his brother went hand in hand toward the cabin in the west to visit his mother in every full moon. She would play her guqin for them, hummed the calming song as she stroked both of their heads on her lap.
Second, when both of them visit their father in the east cabin every autumn, to listen to him ask their year in hoarse, unused voice and to his xiao playing the same song their mother always played for them.
It was always him eager to learn the guqin from their mother while his brother was following their father to learn xiao. When they weren’t visiting either of their parents, they always practiced their song together just to see his mother proudly laugh when they succeeded, or their father’s rare smile at their small mistakes.
In the sixth year of his life though, Lan Zhan’s life changed.
It was the full moon tonight, his brother was holding his hand as both of them were walking together toward their mother’s cabin. Lan Zhan brought a tiny bouquet of gentians he and his brother had arranged in the noon. His brother had his usual smile on his lips, humming their parents’ song together with the younger.
When they arrived in front of Mother’s cabin, Lan Huan lifted his small, but still larger than Lan Zhan’s, fist to knock three times. Usually, their mother would open a few seconds later with her warm smile greeting them. But tonight, tonight she didn’t come out even after Lan Huan had done triple knocks four times.
“That’s weird. Is she asleep already?” Lan Huan cocked his head, “Should we just go in, A-Zhan?”
Lan Zhan looked down at the bouquet of gentians and nodded, “Let’s put these in her vase so she can see in the morning.”
“That’s a good idea.” His brother beamed, “But we have to be quiet, okay? Walk on your toes like this.” He demonstrated how to tiptoe, earning quiet giggle from his younger brother.
“Ssh, A-Zhan,” Lan Huan whispered between his own giggle, “it looks funny, but we have to do it so we won’t wake Mother up.”
“Okay.” Lan Zhan nodded.
Lan Huan slowly slid the door open and urged Lan Zhan to follow him.
There was some unfamiliar scent in the air that reminded him of metal. It was faint enough under their mother’s flowery fragrance, but he didn’t really mind it.
They found their mother’s vase first. Lan Huan changed the water and threw away the withering flowers and Lan Zhan arranged the gentians carefully before putting the vase back on its right place.
“Let’s check on Mother before we go back.” Lan Huan whispered.
Lan Zhan followed his brother, keeping his head down to pay attention to where he went. But then, Lan Huan stopped suddenly, making his forehead colliding with his brother’s back.
“Brother?” Lan Zhan whispered, but his brother didn’t move. So he peeked over his brother’s shoulder and see their mother lying on her front, white robes pooling ungracefully around her.
“No, A-Zhan!” Lan Huan turned around and hugged him, pressing his head down on Lan Huan’s shaking shoulder.
“Ssh, Brother,” Lan Zhan pinched his brother’s side, “Mother is asleep. Don’t be too loud.”
“R-right. M-mother is asleep so we can’t be too loud.” Lan Huan stuttered. He turned Lan Zhan around and started pushing him toward the entrance, “Le-let’s go back, okay? Let Mother s-sleep.”
“Okay.” Lan Zhan nodded and let his brother pushed him out their mother’s cabin.
Lan Huan tucked him into his bed, but strangely, his brother walked back toward the entrance of their room.
“Brother?” Lan Zhan called, “It’s almost curfew. Where are you going?”
“I need to-to see Uncle, A-Zhan.” Lan Huan answered.
“Can I come?”
“No!” Lan Huan shook his head vigorously, “It’s big boys matter!”
Lan Zhan pouted, “I want to grow up faster…”
Lan Huan smiled at his brother, but it didn’t reach his eyes, “Sleep, A-Zhan.”
And so, Lan Zhan did.
☁ ☁ ☁
He knew about the truth of their mother’s death four months later when his uncle had finally had enough of Lan Zhan sitting in the snow, refusing to budge until he met Mother.
“She’s gone.” Lan Qiren told him, “She will never come back. So stop visiting this cabin and use your time to study instead.”
Lan Zhan stormed into the shared quarters of him and Lan Huan with tears on his face, “Why won’t Mother come back?”
“A-Zhan…”
“Why, Brother?” Lan Zhan sobbed, “Is it because I’m too loud? Is it because I’m falling behind on memorising rules?”
“No!” Lan Huan scrambled onto his knees and pulled his brother into his arms, “No, A-Zhan, no, she loved—loves you, she loves me, she loves the both of us. But—but she has to go to a better place.”
“A better place? Where is the better place? I want to go too! I want to meet her!”
“You—we can’t. It’s too far away. We’re forbidden to visit it.”
Lan Zhan cried to sleep that night, in the warmth of his brother’s arm, in the cold of abandonment and rejection.
☁ ☁ ☁
When autumn came, they were also banned to see their father. Uncle said, their father was trying to achieve unworldly matter. Lan Zhan didn’t understand, but Lan Huan seemed to do and he didn’t push their uncle anymore, so Lan Zhan also kept his silence.
At least their father was still in Cloud Recesses.
He didn’t want him to go far away like Mother too.
Lan Zhan stopped smiling ever since.
☁ ☁ ☁
Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji now that he had reached the age of seventeen, had come to understand what had happened with his mother and what his father had been doing at the age of ten and twelve.
His father, just like all Lans’ romance stories, had fallen fast and deep for his mother. But his mother had killed one of his teachers which made her a killer. The confinement of his mother was a punishment for what she had done, and the seclusion of his father was his punishment for falling in love with a murderer.
His uncle had told him that love of a Lan was a curse to oneself.
He had also come to understand that while he hid behind an indifferent, cold mask, his brother hid behind his warm, gentle smile.
Twin Jades of Lan, people called them. Two powerful and brilliant cultivation siblings from Gusu, with fair skin and beautiful faces. The First Jade, Zewu-Jun, Lan Xichen, represented the calm breeze of autumn, while The Second Jade, Hanguang-Jun, Lan Wangji, represented the cold ice of winter. Both were eligible bachelors. Their names were known in the entire cultivation world. Many women from other sects had sent them letters, hands offering for marriages, but none was taken, none was even called, polite rejection letters were what the poor maidens always received. They were perfect dreams, only could be fantasised, but couldn’t be reached.
At the age of eighteen and twenty-two, Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen, finally met their father again. They were called into the east cabin and sat in front of their father and uncle.
“I am stepping down from sect leader position.” Their father announced, without pleasantries, without questions about his sons’ lives during those years they hadn’t met, no warmth, no love, nothing.
“Understood.” Lan Xichen said, because yes, he knew what entailed their father’s short announcement.
Even though he sounded brave and strong, Lan Wangji knew how terrified his brother was. Being the youngest among the other sect leaders would carry its own burden. Even Chifeng-Zun, Nie Mingjue, the current sect leader of Qinghe Nie, had been twenty-five when he had stepped up to take his legacy after his father had passed away from qi deviation two years ago.
“Since your father is in seclusion, the coronation will be done privately, only attended by us, Wangji and the Elders.” Uncle spoke.
“Understood.” Lan Xichen repeated.
“It will be three days from now, prepare yourself, Xichen.” Uncle added.
“Understood.” Again, came from his brother.
After that, they were dismissed. Not once their father looked up to them, not even once he tried to reach for them.
Three days later, they were back to their father’s cabin with Elders and Uncle in tow.
The coronation was short and cold. His brother and their father were sitting on their calves side by side, then the two eldest Elders who were in charge of the ceremony came behind them.
First, they collected their jade tokens, the identity of Gusu Lan sect members and the key to enter Cloud Recesses, on two elegant lacquer box cushioned with velvet pillows. His brother’s was the ordinary jade token just like the other sect members had, while their father’s was the only one jade token with more intricate carving, the only one owned by a Lan sect leader. They put them in front of each of his brother and their father.
Second, they pulled the silver diadem off their father’s hair without breaking the knot and then they also pulled off the pins off Lan Xichen’s. Again, they put them on other two cushioned lacquer boxes and put them in front of each hus brother and their father.
Without the luxury of pins and diadem, without jade tokens, they weren’t Zewu-Jun and Qingheng-Jun. They were nobodies.
The Elders told them to face each other. They bowed to each other in low, polite salute. Their father took the diadem from the box and put it on Lan Xichen’s knot and otherwise. They exchanged tokens. The Elders took Lan Xichen’s oath.
And then.
And then it finished.
Just like that.
There was no banquet. There was no exchanged cups. There was no joy. There was no congratulatory.
Later, when Lan Wangji followed Lan Xichen back to his quarters, with additional weight over his hair, over his sash and over his shoulders, the younger watched his brother cry silently at the moon for the first time in so long.
☁ ☁ ☁
The cultivation world wasn’t as peaceful as he had thought, it seemed. Having been drowning in his little world, burying himself to get better and stronger and smarter, had made Lan Wangji blind of the ever changing situation outside his own bubble.
The first conference he attended with his brother as the new sect leader was chaotic. All sects had gathered in Lanling Tower of Jin sect, except for Wen of Qishan. From the information Lan Wangji had gained, apparently Wen sect had annihilated some smaller sects around the outskirts of Qishan which had refused to join theirs. The movement was unsavory. It smelled fishy even though Wen sect had claimed that those sects they had destroyed had launched assaults at them first and Lan Wangji could see why; who in the right mind would attack such enormous sect without alliance? And for what reasons, out of the blue?
Even since the new Wen sect leader had been coronated, such nonsensical accidents kept happening, waterborne abyss in the Biling Lake coming from Wen territory that had caused the deaths of some innocent villagers, runaway Xiangliu that had been chased away to the border between Qishan and Yunmeng, and more. Such things had raised questions from the other sects, especially ones that had got a taste of the accidents.
Lan Wangji pitied his brother and his unfortunate timing to have been coronated at the period of troubles. He wouldn’t let Lan Xichen to overcome the hurdles by himself though, he would support his brother with anything he could and be allowed to.
“We should attack them!” The sect leader of Yao roared, “We have been let them doing what they want too long!”
“Right, right!” Some other sect leaders agreed.
“Gentlemen, please,” Jiang Fengmian, the leader of Jiang sect of Yunmeng raised a hand, “let us discuss this first. The greatest victory is that which requires no battle * . Let us think of another way to stop Wen sect from spilling more blood without us spilling more blood.”
“I do agree with Sect Leader Jiang,” Lan Xichen finally spoke after being silent since the beginning, “War will bring so much devastation, we also have to think about how enormous their army is.”
“We cannot just stay and do nothing! We have tried ways to make them admit what they have done are wrong, but they refused to!” Someone said.
“Right, right!” Some others supported.
“Sect Leader Lan,” Sect Leader Ouyang called with a cold voice, “are you sure you are not agreeing to Sect Leader Jiang just so you can gain something for your personal benefit?”
Lan Wangji leaned forward, ready to retaliate, but Lan Xichen gripped his fist under the table even though his face also turned dark.
“You crossed the line, Sect Leader Ouyang.” Suddenly Nie Mingjue’s baritone voice came in between, “Sect Leader Lan merely agreed because Gusu Lan is known for their way to face violence without violence. You do not accuse someone like that just because they agreed to choice that was not yours.”
The called out sect leader went red to the roots of his hair, whether in anger or embarrassment.
“It is correct.” Jiang Fengmian said, “Let us not to get sidetracked by other things. We are here to discuss the best way to stop Wen sect assaulting smaller sects and harming the villagers, we are all alliance here, are we not?”
Sect Leader Ouyang scoffed but he didn’t talk trash anymore.
Lan Xichen sent a grateful nod to each sect leader of Jiang and Nie, which was returned accordingly.
After the small debacle, the discussion proceeded as usual, but even until the end of the night, there was still no agreement reached. Jin Guangshan, as the host, finally decided to put their conference into pause and sent his guests to their quarters.
Lan Wangji, instead of going to his own quarters next to Lan Xichen’s, followed his brother into the latter’s quarters.
“Brother.” Lan Wangji called as soon as the door slid behind him.
He knew, even though his brother didn’t say anything, that Lan Xichen was still bothered by Sect Leader Ouyang’s baseless accusation.
“I’m fine, Wangji.” Lan Xichen smiled ruefully, “Shocked, yes, but it was expected. I am the youngest after all, Uncle has warned me how some of them would look down on me and I understood completely.”
Lan Wangji looked down at the bamboo flooring and thought how unfair it was to see someone’s worth through how long they had been alive in this world.
A row of polite knocks were heard not long after. Both siblings exchanged questioning glances and Lan Xichen slid the door open to greet the unexpected guest.
“Ah, Sect Leader Nie.” Lan Xichen stepped backward so he could give the other young sect leader a polite bow, but Nie Mingjue prevented him by holding him below his forearms.
“No need for that.” Nie Mingjue said, “I’m here as someone who wants to be your friend, not as a sect leader.”
Lan Xichen smiled as he straightened his back.
“Oh?” Nie Mingjue found Lan Wangji behind Lan Xichen, “Did I come at a bad time?”
“Ah, no, Wangji just visited to check on me.”
Hearing the subtle message in his brother’s voice, Lan Wangji stepped forward to give the other sect leader a bow and said, “I will be taking my leave. Please, excuse me.”
After Nie Mingjue had returned his bow and stepped a little aside so he could pass, Lan Wangji stepped out his brother’s room. He walked slowly, catching the tail his brother’s invitation for Nie Mingjue to enter the quarters, which was accepted. He only turned around to check on Lan Xichen for the last time after the door had been closed. Sighing, Lan Wangji decided to retreat to his own guest quarters and slept it away.
☁ ☁ ☁
The second day rolled just like the first. Still chaotic and full of sharp tongues. But two sides which consisted of those who didn’t want the war and those who wanted were now slowly changing.
Apparently, Nie Mingjue hadn’t been the only one who had visited other sect leaders the night before. And while Lan Xichen had told Lan Wangji that Nie Mingjue hadn’t come to discuss about Wen but to have a chat, Sect Leader Ouyang had visited the other sect leaders to personally gain more people on the side of people who wanted the war.
It was a dirty move, if Lan Wangji had voice on the matter, but it didn’t break any rules.
On the third day when the conference was to be concluded, it was natural the the side who wanted war won. Lan Wangji didn’t like the smug look on Sect Leader Ouyang’s face showed to his brother and Sect Leader Jiang, but then again, he could only seethe in silence.
“I will be reading the summary of this conference.” Jin Guangshan said with his usual smile. He unrolled the parchment and held it by the sturdy woods at each end, “One, an alliance has been formed by all willing sects existing, except Wen sect of Qishan. Second, the reason of the alliance which formed is to put Wen sect’s suspicious movements into stop. Third, each sect has to send their army and be responsible to attend the possible impending war with Wen sect.” He rolled the parchment back and put it on the cushioned box on his table. “Is there any question or objection?”
There was none, but Lan Wangji could hear Lan Xichen sigh in disapproval.
“Very well.” Jin Guangshan raised the lid of the box over the parchment, “With this, I shall announce that the conference has been concluded.” And he put it over the box.
The banquet was the next on the rundown. Servants came bringing rich and luscious dishes of Lanling. They never stopped, once a dish had gone empty, a servant would come to change it with another, ready to fill the guests’ stomachs to their hearts’ content. Jars of wine selections were put over the long tables for them to take freely, spoiling their tongue with each different taste of them. Well-known musician from far Baling had been called to complete the joy with their cheerful songs.
Lan Wangji lost his brother in the sea of people and laughter. He had tried to look for the man in similar coloured robes with his but he had never caught even a glimpse. Eventually, he gave up and decided to leave the banquet early. The stench of alcohol and spice was too much to handle for long. He believed his brother would understand.
It was still too early to sleep even for Gusu Lan’s standard at nine pm. Deciding it wouldn't hurt to take a leisure stroll around the luxury of Lanling Tower, Lan Wangji wander further from the loud hall toward the balcony in the east wing.
He didn’t expect to find his brother there though, and not by himself too, there was Sect Leader Nie standing next to him. Lan Wangji hid in the shadow then, sensing that both men had their reasons to walk out of the banquet by themselves.
He knew he should’ve continued to take different path or even go to his quarters instead but the sight of Nie Mingjue pulled his brother’s slim figure into his strong arms was too shocking for him to even move his feet. He couldn’t hear their voices but he definitely could see how Nie Mingjue cradled Lan Xichen’s face in his hands and leaned to kiss the sect leader of Lan.
Lan Wangji’s hand tightened around his sword as he took a sharp breath.
He didn’t know what to do with himself as he kept watching his brother reciprocating the kiss by circling Nie Mingjue’s waist with his arms.
After the kiss, Nie Mingjue leaned away and pulled Lan Xichen to leave the balcony with him toward—Heavens!—that was the direction of Qinghe Nie’s guest quarters.
Lan Wangji leaned back onto the wall as those men had disappeared from his line of sight, mind swirling uncontrollably.
His brother? Lan Xichen? With—with another man? How was that possible?
Lan Wangji had considered himself as someone who knew his brother the most, not even their uncle could read Lan Xichen’s mood as well as him. But now? Now he wasn’t sure anymore.
Deciding to put his stroll to an end, Lan Wangji staggered back to his own quarters.
He didn’t hear Lan Xichen come back until it was long past midnight of the next day.
☁ ☁ ☁
Lan Wangji felt his head heavy with the lack of sleep. He could only sleep far after he had heard his brother putting out candles in the next quarters. He had only slept for about two hours before he had woken up at five am, just he usually did even though his sleeping time had been messed up.
When he met his brother in the morning before their journey back to Gusu, Lan Wangji noticed the subtle glow on Lan Xichen’s face, a glow that hadn’t been there the night before. It wasn’t only that, now that he was aware of what was going on between his brother and Sect Leader Nie, Lan Wangji also noticed how they exchanged subtle glances and small smiles during breakfast.
When it was time for them to depart, Nie Mingjue took Lan Xichen to the side and gave something Lan Wangji couldn’t see. He was sure they would’ve kissed if only there hadn’t been anyone around. Shaking his head, he unsheathed his sword and stepped on it. Lan Xichen followed not long after.
There was a longing smile on Lan Xichen’s face. It didn’t disappear even after they had arrived in Cloud Recesses.
Uncle and some disciples greeted them. They had a late lunch and evening snack altogether and then Lan Xichen began reporting the summary of the conference.
Lan Qiren sighed heavily at the end of it, “It was expected. Hatred sets oneself’s head into flame.”
“I shall inform our disciples to be prepared.” Lan Xichen said.
“No need. I will do that myself. Please get some rest, both of you, it has been a long journey.”
Both siblings thanked their uncle and left the quarters side by side.
“See you again, Wangji.” Lan Xichen smiled at him and turned to the east wing direction.
Ever since the both of them had reached adulthood, they had been given their own places. While Lan Xichen had chosen to live in Hanshi, the cabin which had previously been owned by their father before he had left to the peak of the mountain by himself, Lan Wangji had chosen Jingshi, the cabin near the one used for their mother confinement, near enough for him to smell his mother’s gentian scent, but far enough for not giving him nightmares. Both wings had given them sweet and bitter memories, the exact reasons of them choosing the cabins.
Lan Wangji, despite his exhaustion, decided to follow his brother toward Hanshi. Lan Xichen looked curious about this but he let his little brother without question. Not yet.
“Sit. I’ll make us some tea.” Lan Xichen said.
So did Lan Wangji sit.
He watched his brother walking around the cabin to serve the tea and put the cups and teapot onto the low table once it had been done. He filled their cups with gracefulness of the sect leader of Lan and pushed Lan Wangji’s share with the tips of his fingers.
“What do you want to talk about, Wangji?” Lan Xichen asked.
Lan Wangji looked down at his tiny reflection on the surface of the tea, “I saw.”
“Mm? What did you see?” Lan Xichen asked again and sipped his tea.
“Brother and Sect Leader Nie at the balcony last night.”
Lan Xichen coughed at that, choked on his tea. Lan Wangji hurriedly gave his brother his handkerchief.
“You—” Lan Xichen widened his eyes, “you saw… ?”
“...mn.”
Lan Xichen patted his chin dry and put the handkerchief down on the table, “H—how much?”
“From the beginning, until you left toward Qinghe Nie’s quarters.” Lan Wangji muttered.
Lan Xichen’s face reddened, “And… and what do you think?”
Lan Wangji considered his answer before saying, “Are you both in love?”
“I don’t know.” Lan Xichen answered helplessly, “He has been such a gentleman to me, but I—I don’t know. We haven’t talked that far.”
“Is it… okay?”
“What is?”
“To… to be with another man?”
There was understanding in Lan Xichen’s eyes, “You’re asking the wrong person here, Wangji, I am, too, unfamiliar with this. But love is love, is it not? I think it doesn’t matter whether it’s a man or woman, as long as we love them, I don’t see why not.”
The younger one looked back down at the tea in front of him, “How did you do it? Between men?”
“Courting? I think it’s the same as courting a woman? Ah, different gifts, perhaps?”
“No, the—the other thing.”
Lan Xichen blinked once, twice, and then he palmed his face, ears burning red, “Heavens, Wangji!”
Lan Wangji frowned a little because he was genuinely confused and curious despite embarrassment.
When a Lan had reached the age of fifteen, there was an obligatory class they had to take after they had been given their courtesy names. It was sex education class where the teacher would slowly educate the disciples about what could and couldn’t do between men and women and how to do sex safely and consently. Although it had left Lan Wangji flustered and sweaty by the time it was over, he understood the essence of sex between a man and a woman, but not between two men.
“Are you seriously asking your brother this now?” Lan Xichen asked back after a while.
“Mn.”
“Gods—okay, okay.” Lan Xichen bit his lower lip, “I—I was at the receiving end. I don’t really understand, only the big picture of it. I took a bath first to clean myself up because, between men, one of them will have to put it into…” Lan Xichen cupped a hand near his mouth and whispered the word as if afraid anyone would be listening.
Lan Wangji reared back a little after hearing it, “Did—did it not hurt, Brother?”
“I can’t believe we’re talking about this!” Lan Xichen pinched the bridge of his nose. “Uhm, no. Well, a little at first, but Mingj—Sect Leader Nie was gentle about it. There was oil and a lot of preparation. He made sure to—heavens—to loosen me up first.”
“Did it feel alright to you?”
“I believe it depends on your partner,” Lan Xichen chuckled, a little awkward, “but with him, it felt amazing.”
Lan Wangji took in Lan Xichen’s dreamy smile and nodded. It was the important thing anyway, that his brother had enjoyed the whole thing.
He dropped the topic after that, not wanting to embarrass his brother any longer, and turned to talk about the recent conference. They agreed they would take part in training Lan disciples first thing in the morning tomorrow. Lan Wangji excused himself after that, knowing the both of them need to be well-rested on the next day.
If he dreamed of hands and mouth on his skin and bright laughter ringing, he wouldn’t remember when the sun rose.