Chapter Text
It starts simply. It’s normal that Alex should go up to see his - boyfriend? Friend with benefits? He doesn’t know, they’ve never really defined this, this thing that’s hanging out like friends do, with kisses in dark corners, not secret but quiet, and waking up with tangled sheets that smell like them both, little smiles that no-one else sees.
Or at least that’s how it was, until Sean left for college last month, and an apartment of his own in New York. Alex isn’t particularly angry at him for leaving, he’s happy for him, but he misses Sean, hates that what used to be a thirty second walk down the hall has become a hour’s drive.
Alex could go to college too, he supposes. It’s an option he’d have once never considered, not with his record, but meeting Charles Xavier, moving to a mansion which is now an actual school, changed a lot of things for him. But even with the option, he’s not too keen to leave the first place he was ever accepted, ever actually wanted. So he hangs back, even does a little teaching for the kids with more destructive powers, those who need to learn control.
It was easier for Sean - he’d always wanted to leave home, jumped at the choice to join their little group, and now he’s leaving again. Although it’s not -
'It’s not leaving leaving,' Sean had said, noticing how Alex’s face had fallen just a little when he’d seen Sean’s acceptance letter. 'We can still see each other, we can still call and write, I’m not that far away, really, and-' Alex had shut him up with a kiss, before pulling away and quietly assuring Sean that he was happy for him, that he wasn’t mad.
And it’s actually surprising to Alex how sincere those words were. He thought he’d be at least a little pissed that the first person he’d ever let get really past his barriers, under his skin, was moving away, but somewhere along the line he’d started caring more about Sean’s happiness than his own, started trusting him enough that he knows Sean isn’t leaving him.
And he knows, he knows that Sean misses him just as much. The night before he’d left, they’d stayed up in bed for hours, sweat soaking through the sheets as they moved, one more time, just once more. The ‘come with me,’ the ‘stay’ remained unspoken. And now they speak more than they ever did before, without physical touch, and Alex would be hard pressed to admit that most of the time he’s not calling so much to get off as just to hear Sean’s voice, which seems a little more tired every time they speak. Sean’s always been halfway to insomnia, but right now he seems worse than ever.
Alex isn’t sleeping great either.
---
It’s late afternoon when Alex pulls into the parking lot of Sean’s apartment building. It’s big and old, and it seems nice; the windows look to be big for the size of the apartments, metal balconies and fire escapes weaving down between them. Alex has seen photos of Sean’s apartment, but never been there before, and Sean has written him instructions on how precisely to get there; 8th floor (as high up as he could get, naturally) - don’t use the left hand elevator, it always breaks down- No. 15 on the right. And when Alex gets there, bag in hand, avoiding the elevator which is indeed broken-down, Sean answers the door, more gangly and freckled than ever, with his hair longer than before, pushed out of his eyes and curling around his neck.
He smiles widely - 'Alex, hey man, hi' - and leans down to kiss him right there in the doorway.
Alex pushes past him, grinning despite himself, and shoves through into the apartment,
'Come on man, let me get through the door, would you?' Sean takes his jacket, hangs it on one of the hooks in the tiny entrance way, and drops his bag beneath it. Alex looks around.
It’s nice - small, just one main room and the bathroom, but it’s only Sean there, so it doesn't matter. He’s stood between a squashy looking couch and a small kitchenette, the latter of which is surprisingly tidy. Across from him is Sean's bed, and his desk is tucked way in a little alcove opposite its foot. But Alex was right; the main feature of the room is the two windows which take up the whole upper half of the wall facing the couch. With the blinds up, light streams through them, making everything seem larger and airy.
Looking around, the apartment is distinctly Sean. His guitar hangs on the wall beside the couch, and the shelving above that and his bed is filled with Sean’s books, comics, and bits and pieces Alex recognises, one of which might be a fragment of one of Alex’s burnt-out blasting panels. A look at his desk reveals stacks of CDs, Sean’s horrifyingly expensive sound system - Alex hadn’t understood at first, until Sean had glared at him, actually glared and scowled and sat Alex down with the headphones on. And then Sean hit play, and oh yes, Alex understood.
His laptop is there, hidden under scraps of paper, but no TV - Sean doesn’t watch a lot of television, if somethings worth watching he’ll generally look it up himself.
There’s a closet door, covered in posters and bits of art, and like the kitchen, it’s suspiciously tidy. Knowing Sean, even the small space wouldn’t stop his belongings slowly sprawling everywhere. Alex can’t shake the feeling that Sean actually cleaned up for him.
'Not much, but it’s home, right?' Alex whirls round to meet Sean’s smiling eyes.
'Yeah,' Alex grins back, 'It’s nice, I like it.'
They stand facing each other with that slight awkwardness inherent to friends who haven’t seen each other in a while, an Alex takes in the shadows underneath Sean’s eyes, notes the slightly manic giddiness Sean gets when he hasn’t slept enough, which when it comes to Sean is definitely saying a lot.
Something in Alex aches a little.
He speaks first. 'How’s your course going?'
Sean bursts into enthusiasm. 'Fucking great, I’m working on this thing with Rob from my class- sit down man, you’re my guest, let me get you a drink...'
Alex flops down on the couch, listening as Sean reaches into the cupboards and gesticulates about his course. Sean brings his drink over and folds himself onto the couch, tucking his lanky limbs underneath each other. Alex sips his drink, absorbed enough that when he reaches back to put it on the side table, he knocks something off with his elbow. Alex swears and twists round to see what he hit, and sees a clunky looking camera on the floor, thankfully unbroken.
'That’s Lucy’s old camera, she doesn’t use it anymore, said I could mess around with it. Got it off her the other day, the departments are all kind of intermingling and incestuous, so I see the art and photography majors a lot. It takes polaroids, see?' Sean shows him how to work it, and Alex pays attention, not so much out of any particular interest, but more to hear Sean animated and enthused for what seems like the first time in far too long.
---
That night, Alex and Sean will meander around the flat, kissing and talking and pressing closely into each other. They’ll muss the sheets, twisting them up in painfully familiar ways, and before they sleep, under pretense of testing out the camera, Alex will take a picture of them, and sit shaking the polaroid, although he knows it’s pointless, whilst he waits for Sean to come back from the bathroom. They’ll sleep then, too tired to do anything but fold into each other’s arms, and both will sleep better than they have in months.