Work Text:
“Have a good DAYYY! YEAHHH!” screams Present Mic as Class 1-A stumbles blearily out of the classroom for lunch.
Jirou winces as her sensitive ears pick up the excessive feedback. Momo plops a pair of Quirk-made headphones on her head. She makes one for Shouji too, who holds it and stares at it. His ears are optionals.
“Wow, wow, wow!” says Mineta to nobody in particular. “Did you see that magazine that Present Mic had? The one with the American model on it? Sooooo hot. I’m a little… horny .”
The entire class backs away, forming a 6 foot radius around Mineta. Even his old buddy, Kaminari Denki, stays a little away. After being thrashed by every single girl in Class 1-A and 1-B, Kaminari’s gotten some places with respecting women.
But Mineta? Not so much.
As Class 1-A discusses things like All Might’s Secret Love Child and Shinsou Hitoshi and whether or not Momo’s Quirk could be used to make another Momo with organs and stuff, Mineta is up to his usual mischief.
Using his sticky purple balls, he pins the “two hottest babe’s” skirts up. Yaoyarozu’s and Ashido’s skirts, on opposite sides of the hallway, flap up and down in tandem, exposing Mineta’s second-favorite thing to look at: butts. He drools.
Ashido feels a breeze on her behind and glances down. She shrieks.
“MINETA,” she yells, trying to rip off the ball. It doesn’t work. Her eyes fill with tears of humiliation, and as a last resort, she uses her acid to dissolve enough of her skirt that her behind is covered. “MOMO! MOMO, your SKIRT!”
Yaoyarozu similarly shrieks and cuts away the fabric to let down her skirt.
“Mineta… you’re disgusting,” she spits and walks with Ashido to get a new uniform.
Mineta sighs, tugging on Kaminari’s pants.
“Guys… I just don’t get it. Why can’t I get a girlfriend? Girls just don’t like short guys. So shallow.”
The other guys are dead silent.
Kaminari laughs nervously.
“Guys like short guys!” he tells Mineta, smiling awkwardly.
“I’m not a homo, though,” Mineta whines. “Weird.”
“What a dumbass,” says Sero. “Kaminari, you’re too nice. Give him a good shock, next time.”
Kaminari sighs, walking faster to escape Mineta. “I will. He deserves it. Honestly, he seems so nice and then you put him anywhere near a girl and… gosh, I hate guys like him.”
No one notices Bakugou and Todoroki fuming in the background.
Bakugou is pissed. He’s pissed because the fucking Grape Bastard can’t keep his disgusting hands to himself, and he’s pissed because honestly, he doesn’t know what to do about it at this point. Grape Fucker’s been yelled at and screamed at and thrown off at least 4 cliffs, and he still cannot keep his goddamn words and eyes to a respectable level.
Todoroki feels the same way. His fists are clenched tight, knuckles white. Mineta reminds him of every terrible person who can’t take no for an answer. He reminds him of Endeavor on horrible, horrible nights when his breath stank of alcohol and he would grab Mom’s wrist and drag her to his bedroom.
He makes eye contact with Bakugou. Twin sets of burning eyes, determined to make something happen to the sad, sad life of Mineta Minoru.
Todoroki’s door slams open.
This is surprising because Midoriya is usually the only one who will visit unprompted, and usually he knocks first.
He glances up from his futon.
Oh. It’s Bakugou.
IT’S BAKUGOU. Todoroki glances frantically from the BL manga he’s reading, to his futon, electing to just drop it and stand up to steal attention away from the incriminating novel on the ground.
“What do you want?” asks Todoroki.
Bakugou scoffs. “I want you to help me take down The Shitty Purple Ballsack.”
“The Shitty Purple what?”
“Grape Bastard.” Todoroki understands. He would like to do that as well.
“Ok,” he says, “How?”
“I don’t fucking know,” says Bakugou. He bypasses Todoroki to flop on his futon. His futon that has “My Double Life,” a boys love manga with 2 hot boys on the cover. Todoroki tries, futilely, to kick it under his bed. Unfortunately, he has a futon, so it doesn’t work. Bakugou notices immediately.
“Is that what I think it is?” Bakugou says, sounding as gleeful as he ever has. He cackles. “HAHAHAHHA. Todoroki Shouto reads YAOI. Who would’ve thought.”
Todoroki accepts his death as Bakugou begins flipping through the pages. He stops on one page in particular.
In it, Hiroto is taking off his shirt from when he was masquerading as Hiroko, a female exchange student. “ K-Kenji. I am actually a boy! I am Hiroto, not Hiroko! ” There are rose petals in his hair. His skirt swishes around his thick, manga thighs. His lips have the ultra-3D look when the manga artist decides the scene is romantic. He has a 6-pack.
“Waaaa?! Hiroto! ~ I love you for your personality, not your looks! ” says Kenji, who also has a 6-pack. They kiss kiss fall in love.
It’s a pretty terrible scene, all things considered.
Todoroki waits for Bakugou to finish laughing at him.
And waits.
When he stops laughing, Bakugou looks up at Todoroki with terrible, shining eyes.
“It’s perfect.”
Todoroki does not like where this is going.
Todoroki pulls at the skirt that sits on his hips and falls about mid-thigh. It’s got shorts attached underneath, so at least Todoroki isn’t flashing everyone every time he walks, but-
“Isn’t this a bit short?”
Bakugou narrows his eyes appraisingly. “Nah, it’s perfect. Actually, it could be a little shorter.” He pulls the waistband of Todoroki’s skirt up. Todoroki gives a small eep as his family jewels get a little crushed. “Put these socks on, too.”
Todoroki holds the white socks up. They’re thick and long and have bows at the top. When Todoroki puts them on, they leave about 2 inches of bare leg between the skirt and the hem of the socks. His whole leg feels itchy and compressed, but the uncomfortable feeling is replaced by concern for himself when Bakugou appears, hauling a massive makeup bag in both his hands.
“Found it! Fucking finally.” Bakugou throws the heavy bag on the bed. Makeup brushes and palettes and tubes of lipstick come tumbling out. He picks up a brush, and jabs in such a way that reminds Todoroki vaguely of Eri and crayons. “Come here,” says Bakugou, grabbing Todoroki by the chin. “Hold still.”
“I’m scared.”
“Hi, scared, I’m a fucking expert. My parents are in the whole fashion schtick. I’m a genius.”
Todoroki would normally voice his doubts, but Bakugou’s pointy stick is approaching dangerously close to his eye.
Bakugou slaps some powder on his eyeballs, then grabs another stick.
“Close your eyes,” he says, brandishing the eyeliner.
“Will it hurt?” asks Todoroki.
“Only if I want it too,” says Bakugou, which is not reassuring in the slightest.
At one point, Bakugou pulls out two caterpillar-looking things.
“These are fake eyelashes,” he says, jamming them on Todoroki’s eyelids. They stick briefly and then flutter to the ground.
“What the fuck.” Bakugou tries again. And again. And again. On the last time, they stick for almost 30 seconds. Bakugou and Todoroki watch as they fall limply to the ground.
“Uh,” says Todoroki. “Makeup genius?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Bakugou says. “Mineta only cares about ass and tits, anyway.”
Todoroki surreptitiously texts Camie behind his back.
(4:20) Hi, it's Shouto. Pls help. Thx.
When Bakugou’s done with everything---lips, eye stuff, other stuff---he shoves a mirror in Todoroki’s face.
“Look at that fucking wing,” he crows. “Perfect. Jesus, your skin is so fucking clear.”
“Thanks-”
“Your lips are hella thin, though.”
“... Thanks. Why don’t you be the girl, then?”
Bakugou scoffs. “Because I’m a fucking beast, that’s why.” He looks Todoroki up and down, narrowing his eyes. “... We need a bra.”
“Why,” says Todoroki, who doesn’t want to wear a bra.
“You’re too flat.”
“How are you going to get a bra?”
Bakugou scowls. “From the store, or some shit.” While asking one of the girls is an option, Todoroki cannot imagine how any of them would react to being asked for a bra.
The nearest store’s like 15 minutes down the mountain that UA sits upon. When informed of this, Bakugou rolls his eyes.
“That’s 5 fucking minutes with the Bakugou Express. Let’s go, Half-n-Half.”
“That’s 2 minutes with the Shouto Express,” mutters Todoroki. Bakugou hears him.
They end up racing their way down the mountain, Bakugou screaming and causing mass destruction, while Todoroki makes a massive ice slide that also probably will cause some mass destruction. Oh well. UA’s woods are resilient, probably.
“Mother FUCKER,” screams Bakugou as he slams face-first into a bird 200 feet away from the bottom of the mountain and careens into a tree. Todoroki throws a peace sign as he zips past him.
Todoroki wins.
“No, I fucking won,” snarls Bakugou. “You think your fucking shitty ice skating shit can beat me?”
“Yes,” says Todoroki, “I did beat you. Also, have you considered using new curse words?"
Bakugou raises a fist, probably about to deck Todoroki in the face, when he notices the makeup that Bakugou himself painstakingly tried to put on.
“You survive this time, Katy Perry.”
(Back in the UA dorms, Shouji and Tokoyami process seeing the impossible sight of Bakugou dragging Todoroki in a skirt out the door. Shouji eats a ball of takoyaki. Tokoyami pops pistachios in his mouth. “What a mad banquet of darkness,” he says, popping another pistachio in his mouth, shell and all)
Camie: (5:15) haiiiiii shouto :kiss: be there in five! ttyl
Takahashi Akane’s really bored. At the Everything Store, where they sell everything, very few people ever come in. Except for UA students, who don’t actually come that often, and when they do, they usually buy about 2 candy bars and leave. She tried to close the store a couple of years ago, but Nezu heard about it and blackmailed her to stay open. Also, he pays her a pretty hefty check ever so often. Still, she would really like to close because honestly, she was hoping to do something with her life before she hit her 30s.
That’s why it’s such a surprise when the two boys walk in.
“Welcome to-” Holy moly.
“Do you have bras,” says the rabid first-place first-year UA Sports Festival winner.
“Uhhhh,” says Akane. She sweats. Bakugou Katsuki glares at her and lets sparks out of his hands. She sweats more. “Y-yeah. They’re right back over there. Please help yourself.”
Quirk: Sweat: Takahashi Akane sweats pure water. Great for removing BO! Useless for just about anything else, unless Akane ends up in a desert one day or something.
The second boy she recognizes as Endeavor’s kid. Why does Bakugou Katsuki and Endeavor spawn want a bra?
She watches as the two boys argue over sizes. Todoroki is wearing a skirt. Maybe he’s transitioning? MAYBE THEY’RE DATING? That’s adorable. Akane will have to compliment his makeup later.
Todoroki lifts up a training bra to his chest. It’s a bra that is usually bought by like….really small girls, or just teens, but Akane supposes it would work for Todoroki as well.
Bakugou scowls and smacks it to the ground. Akane winces. Hopefully, she can still sell it.
“Those are way too small. You need something like this!” Bakugou aggressively holds up the biggest bra they have in the store (a 35 GG) and shoves it in Todoroki’s chest. “Perfect.”
Akane would disagree, but who is she to judge? Todoroki cups it with his hands.
“Ok.”
They make their way over to Akane, who is sweating and composing her face so that she doesn’t make them think that they’re doing anything weird. There are so many unique people who exist! Just the other day, some weird blonde French kid walked in and bought 3 gallons of glitter glue and the last of Akane’s Camembert. Then, he spilled one of the gallons on her pristine, white floor. French people are so interesting.
Bakugou has acquired a white wig, duct tape, and a pack of instant ramen (Super Spicy!). Also, a knife, which Akane doesn’t think too much about.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” she asks Todoroki while ringing up their items. “What are your pronouns?”
“Ah.” Todoroki shrugs. “He/him.”
Oh. There go Akane’s theories down the drain. Sad.
She finishes bagging the goods, noticing that Todoroki has snuck in a pack of dry seaweed, when she realizes what they must be doing. Drag!
“Oh, great! It’s so cool to see kids these days interested in drag! Please let me know if you ever need any help with your makeup! Have a good day!” Akane beams. Kids are so cute.
“Ah. Thanks,” says Todoroki. Bakugou sounds like he’s choking, or laughing, maybe, in the back.
“Got to go,” says Bakugou, and they both vanish out of her store.
“Come back soon!”
What a good source of entertainment.
When Todoroki and Bakugou thunder back with their haul (Todoroki got bullied into wearing the bra, on the way), Bakugou almost chucks the whole bag back off the mountain.
“BITCH,” screams Bakugou.
“Bakugou-chan,” simpers Utsushimi Camie, standing at the gate of UA. “Nice ta see ya too!”
“Thank God,” breaths Todoroki, somewhat uncharacteristically. “Is my makeup okay?”
“Ooooo,” says Camie, leaning into Todoroki’s face. “Hmmmm. I’ll fix some things, ‘kay?”
When they reach Bakugou’s dorm room, Bakugou curses. “Fuck you. What the fuck is wrong with my makeup.”
Camie giggles, sticking spider-leg-looking-things (another set of falsies, Todoroki realizes) on Todoroki’s face. “It’s poppin’! Could be even better, though! Todoroki-chan, I thought it was the makeup!”
“Thought what was the makeup?” asks Todoroki.
“But actually, your lips are really just like that. Tiny. Thin.”
“Damn straight,” says Bakugou, teeth bared in a grin. “Grow some fucking lips, Half-n-Half.” Todoroki didn’t realize he was supposed to be self-conscious about his lip size until today. Just another thing to worry about, on top of his weird-ass scars, awkward nature, and lack of ability to resolve conflicts without someone getting permanently mauled (see: Iida and Midoriya’s arms). Bless Bakugou’s burning, hellish soul.
As Camie continues messing with Todoroki’s facial features, Bakugou blasts off and comes back with a box of tissues.
“C’mere,” he says, and grabs at Todoroki’s extra large but empty chest. He shoves a fistful of tissues into Todoroki’s bra. Then another. He empties out the whole box into Todoroki’s chest.
“Hell yeah,” says Bakugou. “Now you’re looking a little less flat.”
Camie purses her lips. “Y’know, I like skinny, lean boys. Bakugou-chan, you’re just such a brute. I could never dig you. Although you do have nice pecs…. “
Bakugou leers. “Nice pecs, huh? They fucking are the nicest goddamn pecs. You better fucking appreciate them. At least I have more cleavage than Icy-Hot over here.”
Camie gives a saccharine smile. “Mind if I touch?”
“Fuck no. No touching.” Bakugou spins Todoroki around. “Katy Perry, turn around.”
Bakugou shoves another box of tissues down Todoroki’s skirt. (“It’s because you’re flat back here, too,” he tells Todoroki) After he’s done, he gives it a slap. Todoroki can’t feel it through the layers of Kleenex.
“Feels nothing like a real butt, but it’s not like Grape Bastard will be able to tell the difference!” says Bakugou, smiling like it’s a good thing. He shoves the white wig onto Todoroki’s head.
Camie lets out a low whistle. “Damn, Todoroki. You make a pretty girl. Hit me up if you wanna be on my Instagram sometime.” She snaps a picture with her phone.
Bakugou circles Todoroki, admiring his handiwork. “I’m so good at this shit.”
Camie takes a few more pictures.
“Ta-ta,” she says cheerily, waving her phone which shows Todoroki staring, blank-faced at Bakugou who looks really close to sniffing his butt. “Gotta go!”
“How’d she get here so fucking fast from the other side of Japan in the first place,” questions Bakugou, watching her leave.
“Plot convenience?” suggests Todoroki.
“What?”
Bakugou stares at Icy-Hot. He makes a really good-looking girl, decked out in the UA uniform. The white wig drapes itself over delicate shoulders. Todoroki’s soft bone structure and heart-shaped face, as well as a lithe figure, form a really convincing girl. With huge boobs.
“What,” says Todoroki.
“Fucking nothing,” says Bakugou. He drags Todoroki out the door, and lo behold, they run into the Shitty Nerd.
“H-hahhhh?!” says Deku, face red, looking between Bakugou and Todoroki. “K-Kacchan? You have a girlfriend? You’re straight??” He stares at Todoroki, somehow turning even redder. Bakugou internally preens. He knows how much of a girl Todoroki looks right now---a girl who’s way out of Shitty Deku’s league.
(At that very moment, Kirishima poked his head out of the door. Kacchan, you have a girlfriend? echoes down the hallway. Kirishima flops in bed and screams into his pillow, feeling his heartstrings snap, one by one. Love is so hard. Especially when you love a blond Adonis with anger issues and dandelion hair.)
Todoroki turns. His white hair flows over his shoulder, as his perfect eyelashes and ocean-blue/crimson eye sparkle in the light. His lips part in a perfect gasp. The sound of birdsong fills the air, an aura of sweet-smelling roses perfume the sky-
“Yes,” says Todoroki blandly. “I am Todoroki Yuuko. Todoroki Shouto’s cousin.”
The illusion is shattered.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” screams Bakugou. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA FOOL WITH THAT FUCKING VOICE? HUHHH?”
“Oh, Todoroki-kun!” says Deku, sounding weirdly relieved. “Nice outfit.”
“Thanks,” Todoroki says. Bakugou glares. “Thanks,” Todoroki tries again, in a tinny falsetto. “Does that sound convincing?” Todoroki’s throat’s already starting to hurt from the voice.
“Not at all,” says Bakugou, “but luckily, Grape Dickbag probably hasn’t talked long enough to a real life girl to tell the difference. Anyway, I’ll be back. Gotta get some things.”
Bakugou thunders down the girls side of the dorms. He needs Yaoyorozu to make him… a camera? Something he can stick in the commons because he wants to watch the shitshow that’s about to happen.
“Huh?” says Yaomomo when he asks. All the girls are holed up in Ashido’s room together. “Uh, sure? But what for?”
Bakugou explains.
“BLASTY,” Ashido shrieks. “YOU’RE THE BEST! LET’S ALL WATCH TOGETHER!” She tries to hug Bakugou, who dodges and sends an explosion in her face.
“Yay! Sounds fun,” says Uraraka cheering. The other girls share a similar sentiment.
So that part of the plan’s easy: Bakugou installs a few cameras around the common area, which feed to a huge-ass 3x4 meter screen stuck on Ashido’s wall. Todoroki also gets a commlink that Bakugou can scream things into. Bakugou doesn’t think the full-screen TV actually fits in Ashido’s dorm room or obeys the Law of Conservation of Mass, but whatever. Yaomomo’s brain is pretty fucking respectable. The girls gather around it.
“I’m so excited!” says Hagukure. Two gloves send fist pumps into the air.
“Kero,” says Frog-face, her usually apathetic self. Jirou leans up against Yaomomo and gets ready, as well.
Bakugou retrieves Todoroki.
“It’s showtime, bitch.”
Todoroki looks mildly panicked. “Was I supposed to rehearse?”
“Fuck if I know,” says Bakugou. “Just traumatize the hell out of him. Maybe he’ll die.”
“That’s illegal,” Todoroki objects, but he heads downstairs anyway. As Todoroki Yuuko.
Bakugou returns to the girls.
“Is it starting?” asks Jirou.
“Hell yeah.” Bakugou smirks. This is gonna be fun. No one ever believes him, but Todoroki is the epitome of a troll. Todoroki doesn’t even believe it himself. “Get ready to watch the greatest fucking reality show of your life.”
They watch as Todoroki walks down the stairs.
(“Wow,” says Hagukure. “He’s cute. As a girl.)
Mineta sits on the couch, probably flipping through some hentai. He’s drooling. When he sees Todoroki, he perks up, wiping the drool off in the process.
“Heyyy,” he leers, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, Mineta! I am… Todoroki Yuuko! Todoroki’s cousin!” Todoroki puts on the worst fucking falsetto ever and stands in front of Mineta. “I saw you in the sports festival! On the TV! You were so…” Todoroki pauses. His face looks a little pale. “Attractive. Very cool.”
Mineta’s eyes appear to roll into the back of his head.
(“It’s his fucking dream come true,” says Jirou, rolling her eyes.
“Good for him, kero,” says Asui.)
Unfortunately, as a hero student, Mineta isn’t completely stupid. He squints at Todoroki.
“Why do you have a scar on your eye? Like Todoroki?”
(Uraraka sucks in a breath. “Bakugou!” she hisses. “Why’d you leave his scar there?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Bakugou hisses back. He honestly forgot it was a thing.)
In the camera feed, Todoroki freezes.
“Ah,” he says, voice cracking. (Bakugou prays that Todoroki manages to pull some bullshit out of his ass, because he sure as hell can’t.) “It’s. Genetic.”
(Yaomomo winces.)
Mineta squints harder. “Didn’t Todoroki get his from his mom pouring boiling water on him?”
(“Wow,” comments Tsuyu. “I didn’t know Mineta pays attention to things that aren’t girls, kero.”)
“Ah,” Todoroki says again. “No. Yes. My mother poured boiling water on me. After Shouto's mom did him. Because it was trendy.”
“Trendy,” says Mineta, suspiciously.
(“Bounce your tits! ” Bakugou scream-whispers into his mic. “Distract him!”
“Bakugou, when’d you get so good at dealing with Mineta?” whispers Uraraka.)
Downstairs, Todoroki bounces. It works.
“Wow,” says Mineta, the epitome of the star-eyed emoji, if it was infected with insatiable teenage horniness. He stares at Todoroki’s chest, hypnotized. “Hey, Yuuko. Since I was so cool at the Sports Festival, can I touch your tits?”
(“Holy fuck,” breathes Jirou. “Who raised this fucking slimeball?”)
There’s a moment of tense silence. Todoroki’s face looks like he just saw a particularly snotty tissue on the ground.
“Of course,” says Todoroki. “Mineta…senpai.”
(Uraraka shrieks. Bakugou shrieks gives a manly yell. Tooru screams. Everyone screams.)
On the screen, Mineta whips his head around.
“What was that?!”
Todoroki shrugs. “The wind?”
“Alright,” says Mineta, clearly entranced by the prospect of Real Life Woman Experience for the First Time in his Sad Horny Life.
He puts out his two hands around Todoroki’s tissue boob. He squeezes.
Mineta is drooling for them all to see in ultra-HD 4k. “This is my first time!” Mineta says like it’s something to be proud of. “It’s even better than I thought it would be!”
(“What are the… uh. Breasts. Made of,” asks Uraraka.
“Tissue,” says Bakugou.
“Pfft. That’s so embarrassing!”)
Todoroki clears his throat. “Thanks, senpai.” He forgets his falsetto.
Todoroki is a dumbass.
Thankfully, Mineta is still preoccupied with Fake Boob.
“What was that?” asks Mineta. His hand is still moving.
Todoroki clears his throat again. “Thanks, senpai… it feels so good!” Back to the terrible falsetto.
Mineta pauses his squeezing. “Can I feel your butt, too?”
“Sure.” Todoroki shrugs.
(“Uh oh,” says Bakugou. “I dunno how well that tissue is inserted.”)
Mineta gropes Todoroki’s ass in a similar fashion. “Huh,” he says. “I didn’t know butts and tits felt exactly the same!” He gropes harder.
Surprisingly, the first piece of tissue to dislodge itself is from the bra. Probably because it’s huge.
“Huh,” says Mineta, distracted from his momentary pleasure. “Where’d that come from?” The tissue drifts gently to the ground like it isn't a sign of the heavy sadness Bakugou and friends felt at the realization that the farce would soon be ending.
“Haha,” says Todoroki, staring at the tissue on the ground and sweating. “Heaven?”
Mineta squeezes again. The butt tissue falls out. Mineta shrieks.
“WHAT? WHAT?? WHAT’S HAPPENING?? IS THAT NORMAL?!”
Todoroki sighs.
“Sorry about that,” he says in his normal voice.
“WHO ARE YOU?” shrieks Mineta. "That-that's not your voice!"
Todoroki whips off his wig.
(“Omigosh,” says Hagukure)
“Mineta-san,” he says, face as straight as it always is. It’s me. Todoroki Shouto. I'm in your class. I love you. I just want you to notice me, senpai. I like you so much.”
Mineta’s face is ghost-white. Drops of perspiration are beading on his forehead.
“I-I-I-I.”
Todoroki, out of nowhere, winks. “Grrr. Can I kiss you?” He leans in closer to Mineta, eyes closed, red-cherry-lips pursed.
“I’M NOT A HOMO,” Mineta yells in disgust. “GO AWAY.”
“Only if you never, ever, ever, ever bother girls again!” says Todoroki, in the bad but creepy falsetto.
Mineta pales further. “O-o-okay.” Then he screams and sprints out of the room.
“Hell yeah!” says Jirou. High-fives all around.
“That was very fun to watch, kero!” says Asui.
“Thank you, Bakugou-kun! It was very kind of you!” says Yaoyorozu.
Bakugou is busy having a fit of laughter and doing a weird growly thing on the floor.
“Fuck,” he says. “Half-n-half is a fucking legend. What the fuck.”
The next time Mineta gets within a 7-foot radius of a girl, Todoroki throws an arm over Mineta’s shoulder.
“Grrr,” he says, next to Mineta’s ear. Mineta pales, screams, and runs away. He never tries to be nasty, perverted child again.
fin.