Chapter Text
“Give me a reason why I’m feeling so blue. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you.”
Distance was normally something he could cope with. He was used to it. With family in LA and Australia, while he lived in Hawaii to shoot the show, he could cope with not being able to see his loved ones as often as Daniel or Grace. But Alex didn’t realise the pain he could feel when the distance between Scott and himself was greatened.
They had only been doing whatever they were labelling their relationship as for a few weeks now, maybe a month, but this was the first time they were this far apart. Scott had gone back to LA to spend time with his father – something he didn’t do often, but felt he should; “An obligation,” he had called it. While Scott was there, he was in Canberra, spending a bit of time with his own family – mainly Saxon – during their few weeks downtime from shooting.
The distance wouldn’t have been a problem, Alex thinks, if Saxon hadn’t brought it up after a week of him being back in Australia. But his fifteen year old son was a nosey teen, and for some obscure reason had to know everything. And the “everything” of today’s conversation was Alex’s love life.
“Give me a reason why I can’t feel my heart. Every time you leave my side, I just fall apart.”
“What’s with all the questions, buddy?” Alex looked over the table at his son, who was engrossed by some game or the other on his phone. “Why are you showing so much interest all of a sudden?”
“Well, Dad, it’s been a few years since you and Holly split, and I… I guess I just worry about you,” Saxon replied as he laid his phone on the kitchen table.
Alex’s eyes narrowed at his son, something he had only started doing since he got the role of Steve McGarrett, and let them roam over Saxon’s features, looking for signs of him lying. “Your mother put you up to this, right?”
“No, Dad.” Saxon rolled his eyes in response, kicking Alex under the table. “I just, you know, worry ‘bout you. You’re so busy with the show that sometimes I wonder if you get any “you” time, you know?”
Alex chuckled as his son’s brow furrowed, obviously not sure of the words he had just spoken. He shook his head, looking at the young man before him, and gave him a half-smile. His thoughts were rolling around in his head and he wondered, should I tell Saxon what’s going on?
In this day and age, two men dating wasn’t something that was seen as being farfetched, or even hated. But his son was at the age where the people around him were influencing his upbringing, and even though Alex wasn’t ashamed of his relationship with Scott, he didn’t want to put Saxon under the kind of pressure that could potentially accompany his admittance to… whatever it was he and Scott did.
“There’s nothing to worry about, Sax,” Alex replied with a small smile, reaching over the table to squeeze his son’s hand. “I get plenty of “me” time – Grace and Scott see to it that I do.”
Saxon raised his eyebrow at his father, before shaking his head with a laugh. “If you say so, Dad. I’m gonna head up to bed.”
The two O’Loughlin’s exchanged goodnights, and Alex watched as his son climbed the stairs to the second floor. Once Saxon was out of sight, he covered his face with his hands and sighed deeply, wondering just when his son grew up.
Rubbing his hands over his face, trying to dispel the mix of exhaustion, emotional turmoil and sheer confusion about what to do, Alex let out a small groan before pulling his hands away. His eyes flicked over to the clock on the microwave, working out the time difference for LA, wanting – no, needing – to call Scott. He sighed as 22:17 flashed back at him.
“Only 5am,” he muttered to himself, grabbing his phone from his back pocket. He unlocked the phone and scrolled through his old messages, allowing them to bring a small smile to his face, even though his heart clenched slightly at the idea of not being able to hear Scott’s voice a while longer.
“You know I miss you. I think about you when you’re gone. I guess I miss you, nothing’s wrong. I don’t mean to carry on.”
Alex made his way out of the house and down through the short alleyway that led onto the beach behind his house. He stood on the pavement, watching the waves lapping against the sand as he breathed in the salty air. As he stood there gathering his thoughts, a slight breeze picked up, carrying the spray of the sea to his skin. It reminded him of when Scott and he had first decided to move past the friendship stage, and give into their obvious flirting.
His hand slipped into his pocket, grabbing his phone. He paused a moment, before withdrawing it and opening a new text message, sending a short, simple message to Scott: I miss you.
Alex knew that Scott would more than likely rip him a new one for the early morning message, but he needed to contact Scott, to just be able to send him a message so that when he wakes, he would know Alex was thinking of him.
He all but jumped as his phone started vibrating in his hand. Looking down, a grin spread across his lips as he read the caller I.D, trying not to chuckle as he looked at the image of Scott that accompanied the number. Alex hit “accept” and brought the phone to his ear, mouth open to answer, but Scott jumped in first.
“Was wondering how long it would take you.” Scott’s sleepy voice floated over the phone, and Alex couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped.
“Didn’t know I was so obvious, mate.” Alex turned around and walked back to the house and into his bedroom on the bottom floor.
“Obvious is what drew me to you, Alex,” Scott murmured, and Alex could hear the unmistakable sounds of the sheets shifting around Scott’s body.
“Yeah, yeah, stop trying to sweet talk me, Scotty. You already have me.” Alex sat down on his bed, toeing off his shoes. “But yes, I miss you.”
There was a shared sigh over the line and Alex lay back on his bed, clicking his phone onto speaker and laying it on the pillow beside his. “It didn’t really hit til today, when Saxon was asking about...”
“Oh? What was mini-me asking?” The curiosity was apparent in Scott’s tone, a thing Alex was glad for, as it meant they could tackle the issue tonight.
“Whether I have someone special in my life.”
“And do you?” Scott was being careful how he worded things, Alex was sure of it, but again, it was something he was thankful for. They didn’t need to have the discussion when it wasn’t even 6am in LA, but as the saying goes, no time like the present.
“I didn’t know what to say, so I deflected. I,” he paused as he shifted, getting more comfortable. “I wanted to talk to you, to see if we wanted to out ourselves.”
“I want the whole world to see that I am crazy about you, Alex O’Loughlin,” Scott said with finality, before chuckling and adding, “not that they don’t suspect already, of course.”
Alex couldn’t help the grin – in part about Scott’s joke, but mostly due to the fact he wanted their relationship to be known – that spread across his features, intensified as he heard the rustling of sheets on Scott’s end once more. “What are you doing there, Scotty?”
“Trying to get comfortable while I talk to my sexy-as-hell Aussie boyfriend.” Alex could hear the grin in Scott’s voice, and felt a small flush creeping up his body. “I can’t be held responsible if the mere sound of his voice gets me going.”
Alex groaned softly, feeling his jeans becoming that little bit tighter. “You’re a tease, Scott Caan, and you’re lucky my son blasts music into all hours of the night.”
“Does that mean I’m gonna get some over the phone? I didn’t realize you were that kinky, Alex.”
“There is still a lot you have to learn about me, Scotty.” Alex grinned as he sat up, tugging off his t-shirt and tossing it to the side before laying back down, his hand resting on his stomach as he listened to Scott’s small, almost indistinguishable moan. “You already know I have a filthy mouth.”
Their conversation soon lost all words and became moans, groans and sighs of pleasure.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Give me a reason why I can’t concentrate. The world is spinning upside-down, spinning round and round now.”
The next morning, Alex stepped out of his room and into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He and Scott had gotten off the phone at 4am – thank god Scott needn’t worry about money for the phone bill – and he had gotten a mere three hours of sleep before the neighbours had woken him with their incessant banging of car doors.
He was on a beeline for the coffee machine, getting it up and running as he leaned against the counter, letting the scent of the brewing coffee perk him up. He was so out of it, he didn’t hear Saxon enter the kitchen, or speaking to him, until there was a touch on his arm that made him jump three feet into the air.
“Whoa, Dad, it’s only me,” Saxon said, trying to cover a laugh. “Why are you so on edge? Or are you channelling Steve again?”
Alex let out a groan as he turned around, shaking his head softly as he answered his son. “Don’t turn into Daniel with calling me Steve. And I’m not on edge; I just didn’t get too much sleep last night.”
“You still have jet lag?” Saxon’s eyes were wide as he looked at his father, and Alex couldn’t work out if he knew what happened last night, or if he was genuinely that innocent.
“I was on the phone for a long time last night, buddy.” The coffee had finished brewing by that point, and Alex poured himself a cup, adding in some sugar, almost wide-eyed as Saxon grabbed a mug, too. “Aren’t you a little young to be drinking coffee?”
“I’m fifteen, Dad,” Saxon replied, rolling his eyes. “My friends are doing much worse than drinking coffee with their dad’s in the morning.”
Alex raised an eyebrow, silently asking his son about these “worse” activities he spoke of. Saxon replied with a shake of his head, a silent promise that he never had, and never will partake in said unspoken activities.
“So who were you talking to for six hours straight last night?”
“How do you know I was talking for that long?” Alex silently cursed the fact that his son was very observant.
“I heard you setting the alarm just before eleven; I did the maths and,” Saxon trailed off with a shrug. The two sat down at the table, Alex cradling the mug of coffee between his hands, while Saxon rolled the newspaper to his father. Alex just left the paper there while he watched his son.
“You not gonna ask who I was talking to, then?”
“Alright, Dad,” Saxon started with a laugh. “Who were you talking to, then?”
Alex took a sip of his coffee, as if to prepare himself with the onslaught of questions that would come from his admittance, and spoke softly, “Scott.”
“Well that’s normal,” Saxon shrugged, kicking his dad’s legs under the table. “You guys are like, best friends. And you play best friends. I’d be a bit worried if you didn’t call him while you’re here.”
Alex shook his head, watching Saxon carefully, seeing the realisation dawning.
“Wait, you mean…?” Alex nodded and laughed, nudging his son’s leg with his foot. “Is that why you were kinda… antsy last night when you were trying to answer my question?”
“Partially, yes,” Alex answered, knowing it was best not to hide the truth from his son. “I didn’t want to give you an answer without talking to him first, in case he didn’t want us outed.”
“Dad, it’s so obvious you’re together half the time. I watch the interviews you have together – I may be slow, but I ain’t blind.”
Alex shook his head and laughed at his son. “Well, I guess all that’s left to say is that I’m glad you accept us for who we are, and that I’m happy I won’t have to hide who I am.”
“You taught me all those years ago that things like this don’t matter, Dad. As long as they’re happy, right?” Saxon smiled over his coffee mug to his father.
“Right you are,” Alex nodded, giving Saxon his half-smile. “Although the distance… it’s hard.”
Saxon nodded, understanding what his father meant. The distance issue was something he felt every day, for obvious reasons, but he couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to deal with when it was the person you were in love with. “It’ll be alright, Dad.”
A plan was already forming in Saxon’s mind as to how he could help Alex out, it would just take a bit of cleverness on his part. Alex nodded to his son, murmured words escaping his lips as he stretched. “Thanks, Sax. Don’t know what I’d do without you some days.”
“You’d be bored stupid,” Saxon replied with a laugh.
“That sounds about right,” Alex muttered, before standing. “Now I’m going to shower, then it’s off to school for you, buddy.”
Saxon rolled his eyes and laughed, watching as Alex put his mug in the sink and laid his phone on the table, before heading off for his own bathroom. Once he heard the shower turn on, Saxon grabbed his dad’s phone, put in the password – he seriously needed something more creative than the alarm code – and searched through his contacts until he found Scott’s number, quickly copying it into his own phone. He put the phone back where he found it and ran up the stairs to his room, grabbing his school bag and grabbing his shoes, before heading back down the stairs and waiting for Alex.