Chapter 1: Mad-dog-chan real name
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Yahaba:”Kyoutani come help me with something.”
Oikawa: “Yahaba is that a new member or something?”
Kyoutani: *rolls eyes and grunts* “That me”
Oikawa: “WAIT THAT YOUR REAL NAME. I THOUGHT IT WAS MAD DOG”
Iwaizumi: “Idiot”
Chapter 2: Makki Sings
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Matsukawa: “Guys can guys sing”
Oikawa:”I can”
Iwaizumi: “No you can’t”
Oikawa:”Yes I can Iwa-Chan”
Hanamakki: “I can and I better then Kawa”
Matsukawa: “I bet you 10 yen you can sing”
Hanamakki: “You bet”
Hanamaki: “All I know All I know loving you was a losing game”
Hanamakki: “How I do”
Oikawa,Iwaizumi and Matsukawa:*lies* “You did good”
Kyoutani: “You sounded like shit”
Makki:WHAT
Chapter 3: Kunimi steals food
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Kindachi:”Where did my strawberries go”
Kunimi:”I stole them”
Kindachi: “I was going to eat them”
Kunimi:”Not now”
Chapter 4: Iwaoi is canon
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Makki: “Iwaoi is canon”
Matsukawa:*pictures of them doing couples stuff*
Yahaba:”Fucking finally”
Kyoutoni: “I don’t wanna know Iwaizumi and Caption are fucking”
Kunimi: “I thought they were dating”
Kindachi: “Same”
Watari: “Guys they are not dating”
The rest team: “WHAT
Watari: “Ask them yesterday and they blushes super hard. Saying them just best friends”
Watari: “But they definitely love each other”
3 days later
Iwaoi: *Walks into the gym* “Were dating”
The rest of the team: “FUCKING FINALLY”
Chapter 5: KinKuni
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Kindachi: *feeds Kunimi strawberry *
Kunimi: *blushes*
Random person: “Stop making me feel single”
KinKuni: *Blushes*
Chapter 6: Never mess with Aoba Johsai and I mean it
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Aoba Johsai: * Tease Oikawa*
Fucker: “Oikawa your weird”
Aoba Johsai: * Deathly Aura*
Chapter 7: Mastuhana
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Matsukawa: “Lets get married”
Hanamakki: “YES BABE”
Iwaizumi: “You guys are to young”
Matsuhana: “Shut up Iwa-Chan”
Mastuhana: “jinx”
Mastuhana” “jinx again”
Iwaizumi: “oh dear god help me”
Oikawa: “Iwa-Chan let also get married”
Iwaizumi: “Oh dear fucking God”
Makkihana: “double wedding”
Iwaizumi: “OH DEAR MOTHER FUCKING GOD LISTEN TO ME!!!!!
Chapter 8: Kyohaba
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Yahaba:”Wanna a bracelet”
Kyoutani: “That childish”
Yahaba: “I give it Watari then”
Kyoutani: “Fucking give me that”
Yahaba:”Ok”
Chapter 9: Matsuhana with Oikawa the Matchmaker
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Oikawa: "That it. I can't take the pinning anymore"
Matsuhana: "what"
Oikawa: *pushes them*
Matsuhana: *kisses*
Oikawa: "You work out the rest. My job here is done"
*Later*
Matsuhana: "Were dating"
Oikawa: "Iwa-chan pay up"
Chapter 10: Oikawa Tooru Love life
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Someone: 0So do you like Iwa-chan or Milk beard more? "
Oikawa: "Yes"
Someone: "You need to choose"
Oikawa: "How can I. They are both the loves of my life's. I want to marry both of them and be with them forever "
Someone: "You can't marry food"
Oikawa: "Bitch who said I couldn't"
Someone: "Iwaizumi-san"
Chapter 11: Iwaizumi Vs Milk Bread
Summary:
You guys ready for this chapter.
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Iwaizumi: "Listen here and well. Oikawa Tooru is mine and you need to stay away from him"
Iwaizumi: "I known him since birth. We live right next to each other. We were best friends. I gave hoodies,love, care and I understand him Ok. "
Oikawa: "Iwa-chan why are you talking to my milk bread"
Iwaizumi: "He trying to take you away"
Oikawa: *hugs him* "Don't worry I love both of you equally. My jealous Iwa-chan"
Chapter 12: Watari feels single
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Kyoutoni: "Yahaba you have... pretty eyes"
Yahaba: "Well you have.. Nice hair"
Kyoutoni: "Umm"
Yahaba: "Umm"
Watari: "Hello I still exist"
Chapter 13: Iwaoi love children!? (part 1)
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Oikawa: “Yahaba since your going to be captain next year,I need to teach you a few things”
Yahaba: “Aye Aye Captain”
Iwaizumi: “Kyotani do you need tips in the love department. You keep starting at Yahaba”
Kyoutani: *grunts* “N-no”
Matsukawa: “Makki you wrote that down”
Makki: “Yup, more evidence to prove Iwaoi love children are: Yahaba,Kyoutani,Kunimi and That blueberry from Karasuno.”
Mastukawa: “I think his name was Kageyama”
Chapter 14: Iwaoi love children (part 2)
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Makki: “Oikawa Tooru and Hajime Iwaizumi”
Mastukawa: “Tell us the truth”
Iwaoi: “what truth”
Mastukawa: “About your children”
Oikawa: “Children?”
Makki: “Yahaba,Kyoutani,Kunimi and Kageyama”
Iwaizumi: “They are not are children. Just are friends/teammates”
Mastuhana: “Lies”
Oikawa: “I don’t what crazy theories you have or how even this idea Segway into your head but me and Iwa- Chan have ‘children’”
Mastukawa: “I still smell lies”
Chapter 15: Singing
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Oikawa; "I kissed a girl and I like it"
Makki: "the taste of her cherry chapstick"
Mastukawa: "I kissed a girl just to try it"
Yabaha: "Hope my boyfriend don't mind it"
Kindachi: "It felt do wrong"
Kunimi: "felt so right"
Watari: "doesn't mean I'm in love tonight "
Oikawa: "Maddog-chan no Iwa-Chan join"
Iwa and Kyoutani: "No"
Oikawa: suit yourself
Oikawa: "I KISSED A GIRL"
Iwaizumi: fuck it
Iwaizumi: "I like it"
The whole team expects Kyoutani: "I LIKE IT"
Chapter 16: Your new best friend
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Makki: "Oikawa"
Oikawa: "Makki are you ok. You look mad."
Makki: " I saw you hanging out with Sugawara yesterday."
Oikawa:"Yeah. Were besties"
Makki: "I thought we were besties bitch"
Oikawa: "Of course we are. I have many besties"
Oikawa: "You,Astumu,Suga,Matsun,Iwa-chan,Kaylee,Semi,Tendou even thought I hate his boyfriend,Yahaba,Kuroo,Bokuto,Kunimi,Ally,Peach,Lissy-san,Asui,Yumeko and a lot more."
Makki: "How many more?"
Oikawa: "Probably 10 to 20"
Chapter Text
Makki: "Made with real fruit"
Makki: "Woo Hoo I'm putting fruits on my face"
Chapter 18: Dear Diary
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No one
No one in the world
No one to ever live
No one even ghost and aliens
Oikawa: "Oh, dear diary, I met an Iwa-chan"
Everyone in Aoba Johsai: ・・・・・・・
Chapter 19: Mistakes
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Iwaizumi: You made a mistake
Makki: I............made many Mistakes this week
Makki: your going have have to specific
Chapter 20: Iwaoi two
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Oikawa: Wait you like.......... my personality?
Iwaizumi: I was surprised too
Chapter 21: Favoritism
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Makki: Oh Iwa-Chan-
Iwaizumi:Shut up
Mattsun: But Iwa-Chan-
Iwaizumi: Shut up
Oikawa: Iwa-Chan be nice
Iwaizumi: Fine whatever
Chapter 22: B99
Notes:
Inspired by Brooklyn 99
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Oikawa: Do you recognize any of these man
Makki: I was hiding in the bathroom stall, so I didn't see his face, but I heard him.
He was singing along to the music at the bar.
Oikawa: Do you remember what he was singing?
Makki: I think it was the song I Want It That Way
Oikawa: Backstreet Boys, I'm familiar. Okay...Number One, can you please sing the opening to "I Want It That Way"?
Kindachi: Oh really? You are my fire...
Oikawa: Number two keep it going
Yahaba: The one desires
Oikawa: Number three
Kyoutani: Believe when I say
Oikawa: Number four
Kunimi:I want it that way
Oikawa: Tell me why
All of them: Ain't nothing but a heartache...
Oikawa:TELL ME WHY!
All of them: Ain't nothing but a mistake...
Oikawa: Now number five
Watari: I never want to hear you say...
Oikawa:WOO!
All of them: I Want It That Way!
Oikawa: Chill! Literal chills...
Makki: It was number five. Number five killed my boyfriend
Oikawa: Oh my god, I forgot about that part!
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Oikawa: Remember that time you told me to lick a flower
Iwaizumi: No I say Oikawa Don't Lick the Flower and then said you can't tell what to do and then you lick the flower
Chapter 24: Iwaizumi
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Maki: I dare you to call Iwa-Chan iwaizumi
Oikawa: Ok. But you owe me milk bread
Oikawa: Iwaizumi I need you to help me with something
Iwaizumi:.....
Kyoutani:.....
Watari........I
Yahaba:Captain are you ok
Kindachi: Who hurt Captain
Kunimi: I wonder what Iwaizumi did to Captain
Makki and Mattsun: *laughing their asses off and recording it*
Iwaizumi:Either Kawa really mad or the World ending.
Chapter 25: Favoritism again~
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Oikawa: Kindachi can you call Kunimi. None of us can reach him
Kindachi: Sure
Makki: He probably won’t pick up because all of us have tried six times already
Kunimi on the phone: Hello
Chapter 26: Watari feels single part 2
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Watari: Why are you guys tongues green?
Yahaba: I had a blue popsicles
Kyoutani: yellow one
Watari………Wait
Watari: Stop making feel single
Chapter 27: Iwaizumi being done with Mattsun shit
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Mattsun: Dude I just realized that I’m n love with Makki
Iwaizumi: Congratulations on being the last person to know
Chapter 28: Iwaizumi being done with Mattsun shit part2
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Mattsun: I wish Makki could know how much I love him
Iwaizumi: All you do is stare at him during practice like a creep. You literally say the gayest shit to him and then said ‘No homo bro’
Mattsun: That how I flirt with him
Iwaizumi: You are going to die alone if you keep doing this
Chapter 29: Shampoo
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Mattsun : Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Makki: Okay, but in my defense, Oikawa bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Mattsun : That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
Chapter 30: Don’t call Iwa
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Mattsun and Makki sitting in jail together*
Makki: So who should we call?
Mattsun : I’d call Iwaizumi, but I feel safer in jail
Chapter 31: I love you
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prompt:
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Mattsun : Thanks fam!
Kindachi : oh no
Makki: *cries* I love you too
Kyoutani : Sounds fake but okay
Watari : *A flustered mess*
Iwaizumi: can i get a refund
Oikawa:I love me too
Yahaba: I know
Kunimi: Why
Chapter 32: Doritos
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Oikawa, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Makki: Hey Chill bean
Iwaizumi: Hi.
Mattsun: Hello.
Kyoutani : Hey!
Oikawa: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Makki: We were out of Doritos.
Chapter 33: plan G
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Oikawa: Time for plan G.
Makki: Don’t you mean plan B?
Oikawa: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Iwaizumi: What about plan D?
Oikawa: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Mattsun: What about plan E?
Oikawa: I’m hoping not to use it. Kyoutani dies in plan
Yahaba: I like plan E.
Chapter 34: Poor Police
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Yahaba: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Kyotani : No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
Chapter 35: Who hurt sleeply boy
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Kunimi: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...
Chapter 36: Thats a lot of information to get in 30 seconds
Summary:
This is based off a friends skit but I changes a few words
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Makki: Iwaizumi and Oikawa live together
Iwaizumi: Makki got married to Mattsun in Vegas
Yahaba : I love Kentaro Kyotani
Mattsun: I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle
Watari: I wanna gooooooo
The Coach: That was a lot of information to get in thirty seconds
Chapter 37: Someone help Iwa-Chan
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Makki: That was almost a good idea
Iwaizumi: You just described 90% of your pranks
Chapter 38: Iwa-Chan no
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Oikawa: Iwa-Chan you ok?
Iwaizumi: Please give me a reason to not kill Makki and Mattsun
Oikawa: They are our friends
Iwaizumi: So what
Oikawa: Blood is hard to clean up
Iwaizumi: I know how to clean blood thanks to my sister
Oikawa: You can’t watch Godzilla movies in prison
Iwaizumi: Thank you Kawa
Chapter 39: Kunimi lost track
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Kindachi: When the last time you slept
Kunimi: Who keeps track of that
Chapter 40: Coffee
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Watari: How would you like your coffee
Yahaba: As dark as your soul
Watari: Cup of milk please sir
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Iwaizumi : Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée
Chapter 42: Capitalism
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Kindaichi: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Kindaichi, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
Chapter 43: You love me
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Oikawa: Iwa-chan I need to tell to you something
Oikawa: You have a crush on me
Iwaizumi: ..............
Makki: That one way to confess
Chapter 44: Straight
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Oikawa: Makki lets get one thing straight you're not"
Makki: I mean have you seen Mattsun
Makki: He the whole reason I'm gay
Chapter 45: I'm going to torture Watari again
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Oikawa:Let get one thing straight-
Makki: Said clear because no one here is straight
Watari: Hello I exist
Chapter 46: Watari know
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Watari: Do you and Kyoutani have pet names for each other
Yahaba: No
Watari: What make a cookie sweet
Yahaba: Sugar?
Kyoutani cross the gym: What do you need
Yahaba:
Watari
Watari: Don't lie to me again
Chapter 47: Iwaizumi is done
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Iwaizumi: Do you and Makki have pet names
Mattsun: Nope
Iwaizumi: What another word for newborn
Mattsun: Baby duh
Makki: Babe?
Iwaizumi: Don't you dare lie to me again
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Kunimi: This sign 'Do not enter' but I'm allergic to the rules
Kindachi: And nuts
Kunimi: How dare you exposed me
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Oikawa: That how my hair got suck in my blow dryer
Makki: cool🗽But🗽Did🗽You🗽Know🗽Liberty🗽Mutual🗽Customizes🗽Your🗽Insurance🗽So🗽You🗽Only🗽Pay🗽For🗽What🗽You🗽Need🗽
Chapter 50: Idk what call this
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Kindachi: Guys I learned how to wink
Makki: You just figured that out
Makki: Bitch I've known how to wink since birth
