Work Text:
Jack.
Jack was a fucking idiot, Zack decided. Jack was also really fucking lucky Zack loved him, or he wouldn't be doing this at all.
Some days Zack should just be like, "Fuck this shit I'm out," and back out of the room slowly, but no, oooh noooo, he has to be nice and care and bullshit.
Zack met Jack during his first semester of college. He was supposed to be Zack's roommate, but he was never around. There were signs he had been in the dorm, but he was never actually there. And Zack was in that dorm unless he was in class.
Because he's a socially awkward adult.
The point being, Zack never saw his roommate and then decided that he wasn't actually real. Kind of like a ghost.
Now, for the first two and a half weeks of college, he was convinced the guy that he was supposed to be rooming with him didn't exist, and instead someone random wanted to make it look like he did to make Zack freak the fuck out.
Instead, how he met Jack, his phantom roommate, made him freak the fuck out.
It was one of those rare nights where Zack couldn't sleep, and wouldn't sleep at all. In fact, this was the first time he wouldn't get a good night's rest since he moved into his dorm. (You would think different, with moving away from family and all, but Zack became independent when he was nine. He didn't like asking for things when he could do it himself.)
He was facing the wall, counting his heartbeats when he heard the shake of a doorknob being rattled, and Zack flipped over immediately. He eyed the golden object from across the room as it shook, light bouncing off of it from the moonlight coming in from the single window.
It was when a muffled curse came from outside the door that Zack reached for the wooden bat between his bedside table and the bed.
Carefully getting up, wincing at the way his bed creaked loudly, he tiptoed to his door.
The doorknob turned and Zack was freaking out about hitting a stranger (he wouldn't feel bad if it was a murderer) but he was scared shitless so he definitely wasn't letting go of that bat. It was when the door opened, and a lanky figure stepped in, that Zack prepared to swing.
The stranger flipped the light switch before Zack could swing, and spotted Zack himself clenching a bat and probably looking like a terrifying kid holding a bat with an afro.
Zack expected the guy to throw a punch or some other form of self defense but instead, he kind of shrieked.
Like a little girl. In a high pitched wail. Um.
Wasn't this guy trying to mug Zack?
The guys hand were placed over his heart like he was trying to stop it from beating out of his chest. He took a deep breath and the pointed a finger a Zack in an accusing manner.
"Why the hell do you look so confused? You were just about to beat me with a bat!" (He was taller than Zack, spiked hair with a blonde patch where it separated. He was kind of skinny, for being so tall.)
Realization hit Zack, kind of like a smack to the face. This guy was his "phantom roommate" who actually existed.
Now, life would just so have it that the first words Zack would speak to Jack would be, "Holy shit you're a real person." With wide eyes. And then they'd fight about why Jack wasn't a real person and why Zack was just about to brutally beat him with a bat.
After that, Jack became, really. Well. Present.
Zack expected it to just go back to normal where he was alone constantly, but apparently Jack decided he'd stick around.
Daily. He'd ask Zack random questions what bands he liked, or, "do you really do your homework? Dude that's boring."
And for awhile Jack got nothing but terse responses. It wasn't really personal, Zack was like that with everyone. But, the best way to describe Jack is as a fungus.
He's annoying and rude and obnoxious, but he grows on you whether you like it or not. Zack would be doing pushups in the middle of the floor and Jack would walk in the door singing a song and Zack would start to sing along because he knew it. Because Jack.
He's a fungus. Beware.
When Zack got his hair cut Jack cried. Literally cried and Zack had to hold him for hours because wanted his "curly babe" back. It was ridiculous.
He then had to explain to Jack the concept of Zack's hair not being his, and Zack decided he didn't like his curls. So he cut them.
That only made Jack cry more.
But the goddamn fungus kept growing.
Suddenly Jack was pressuring Zack into meeting his friends Rian, Alex, their girlfriends, and some guy with the last name Flyzik.
So Zack did, the reason only God knows, because he sure didn't. Zack doesn't just casually hang out.
It's not that he regretted it, because Rian and Alex were pretty chill, and Lisa and Cassadee were great, and Flyzik was a bit weird but not in a bad way.
But Zack didn't really like…people. He could handle two or three at a time, but everyone at once was kind of stressful.
It was pretty annoying that Jack was the one who invited him but he clung to Alex the whole time. He spent his time talking to Rian and Flyzik though, while Alex and Jack entertained the girls.
When they got back to the dorm, Zack prepared to go to class and didn't really say anything to Jack.
The "bonding" happened late at night though.
If there was one thing Zack learned about Jack, it was that he like to drink. He frequently came back to the dorm wasted off his ass and Zack had to thank the person who brought him back while simultaneously apologize for causing problems.
That night was much like any other, a stranger knocked on their door and Zack opened it to grab Jack, thank and apologize to the stranger. But while Zack was apologizing Jack was clinging to him, and muttering incoherent things.
They stranger was quiet for awhile, as she eyed the both of them. "Make sure he doesn't go out drinking anymore. You could lose him to a stranger like me," her brown eyes looked up at Zack. She flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Anyway, have a good night."
It took Zack a moment to realize what she said.
"But we're not—" but she was already down the hallway and turning the corner.
Zack shut the door and locked it, and picked up Jack bridal style to carry him to his bed. "Why must you be so difficult?" Zack muttered, gently laying him down.
Jack grabbed his wrist when he went to move away. "Cuddle me," he whined and Zack would probably be able to smell the tequila from a mile away.
"Jack, you're going to have a massive hangover when you wake up, just sleep for as long as you can." Zack sighed, annoyed.
"That's the longest you–" Jack hiccuped "–you've talked to me." (Which was a lie, they've had conversations. Short, but still conversations) He pouted, eyes dazed and unfocused. "Please," he whined again, making Zack roll his eyes.
"Move over," Zack sighed. Jack grinned in victory, and wiggled over to press himself against the wall.
For a moment Zack worried how two grown men would fit on a twin sized bed, then he figured that he would take up most of the space and Jack would cling to him so room wasn't really a problem.
It was the fact that Jack would probably wake up with a boner. That was the problem.
Zack made Jack face the wall, so if he did wake up with a boner, it wouldn't be pressed into Zack's side. To keep Jack from whining, Zack wrapped his arms around Jack's waist, and tugged him against his chest. (Zack felt warm, merely seconds after holding Jack. He worried about having a fever but shrugged it off.)
So basically, they were spooning, and Jack was the little spoon.
"Such a good friend…"Jack rumbled. "Love you," he said and grabbed Zack's hand to intertwine their fingers.
"I love you too, Jack." Jack squeezed his hand.
"No you don't." Jack muttered. Slurring his words with sleep and intoxication.
Zack furrowed his eyebrows in confusion but let it be. He curled around Jack and waited for him to fall asleep, before he let himself fall asleep.
Those are pretty much Zack's most important memories of Jack.
Now, this is where we started. With Zack claiming he should probably back out of their friendship because Jack gets Zack into some pretty dumb things.
But Zack learned a long time ago he could never say no to Jack. (Personally, Zack thought it unfair.)
"Jack, I feel awful." Zack sighed. Goddamn kid making him fake date to get Alex's attention. "You have his attention all the time anyway, can't you just talk to him?"
It was worse knowing this plan to get Alex's attention could potentially break up him and Lisa.
"No! Do you know how weird that would be? 'Oh hey Alex, you're my best friend and I want in your pants.' No." Jack bit his lip, looking at Zack with pleading eyes.
"I don't get it! You practically live in each others pockets anyway." Zack huffed, throwing his hands in the air.
They were sat in the middle of the room, on the floor, directly across from each other. "Please, Zack, it would mean everything."
His eyes were wide and Zack couldn't find it in him to say no. He's been attached to Jack, since they became friends. (Jack was the only guy who seemed to care up front, and not just when it mattered.)
Zack knew Jack knew this, and he obviously used it to his advantage. "Jesus, fine, just stop looking at me like that." Zack said, looking away from Jack's eyes.
"Yes! Thank you! I love you!" Jack jumped on Zack, knocking them over. Jack pecked Zack's cheek and then jumped up. Zack watched as he dug around for clean clothes.
"Fucking idiot," Zack muttered affectionately before standing himself.
"I heard that!" Jack said, and gave Zack a mock hurt face.
Now. The whole fake dating thing worried Zack, how were they supposed to act? In love? Awkward? Normal?
Apparently, Jack had it all figured out.
Zack went to walk out the door to his first class of the day, when Jack grabbed his elbow and stopped him.
“Let me walk you,” he smiled softly. Zack was confused, and Jack must have been able to tell. "To make it more believable." He explained.
Zack nodded, feeling sick to his stomach. But he ignored it. For Jack. Because Jack was probably the closest friend he has and Zack owes him. (Jack was the only actual friend Zack had.)
Jack laced their fingers together and started talking to him about random shit. Zack was hardly paying attention all too aware of Jack's palm in his.
They've held hands before, plenty of times, because Jack's a little shit and likes sucking up to Zack after he's said something offensive.
But it was different. They were expected to now. This was an expectation and this made Zack think about what others had thought when they held hands and looked at them before this.
God. Zack was probably stressing for no reason.
Before Zack realized, they were at his classroom door. Jack stopped both of them and looked at Zack with another soft smile. (It was strange, really. He didn't know Jack could be so gentle.)
"See you later babe," he said, loud enough for others to hear but not so loud that it'd make it look like he was trying to embarrass Zack.
Which he does a lot of so it probably wouldn't be surprising to other people. But then Jack leaned down to kiss Zack's forehead—and there was no way someone was not going to believe that.
Jack said goodbye and walked away, leaving Zack to walk into class a little dazed.
Who the hell was that guy and what did he do to Jack. That is definitely a stranger wearing Jack's face, because Jack wasn't—Jack wasn't so gentle.
When Zack sat down, a girl slid into the seat next to him. Her hair was dyed red and her nose piercing matched Zack's own. Green eyes looked at him curiously.
"So." She said, black nails tapping on the wood table. "Are you and that guy from outside dating?"
The first thing he thought of was the blonde girl telling him to stop letting Jack go out to drink alone months ago.
She thought they were dating too. Zack felt sick for the third time that morning.
He wanted to say no, they weren't dating, in fact Jack was just a touchy feely kind of guy. But this was for Jack.
Zack owes him.
So instead of shaking his head no, he smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah we're dating."
The girl squealed. "That's just so cute! I'm Oli. Technically Oliver because my parents refused to acknowledge the fact that I was going to be a girl." She waved her hand, like she was dismissing the thought. "But anyway,
that's really great. You don't see many gays around here and all."
Zack laughed and thanked her.
She was kind, and took Zack's mind off of the guilt eating at him.
Later that day, Jack convinced him to go out and eat lunch with everyone. (It happened so rarely, with the problem of different schedules.)
Jack had his arm around Zack's waist, holding him closer than normal as they walked down the street to the little diner that they'd meet their friends.
All the while Zack's heart was beating out of his chest. What if they get rejected? And they aren't even dating? God, what if—
"Hey, stop thinking so hard." Jack squeezed his hip.
‘It's only fake', Zack imagined him saying. It only managed to make him feel worse.
Fuck. Lisa and Alex were great together–they–they were happy what was Zack doing?
And the only reason he had was because he wanted to make Jack feel better. But what if his shit plan actually worked?
What if they successfully pulled Alex and Lisa apart?
"Hey." Jack was suddenly whispering in his ear, making Zack jump. "Stop thinking so hard. It'll be fine. I promise."
"Yeah. I don't trust you when you say the word promise," Zack mumbled.
Jack laughed, loud and happy, "you probably shouldn't."
Zack grinned. This felt normal. Even if Jack was holding him too close, this is how they were. How they are.
Their friends were already crowded at a table, two empty seats left for them between Alex and Flyzik.
Lisa sat across from Alex and Cassadee and Rian sat together. Jack and Zack sat down, and although Jack's arm was removed from his waist, his hand slipped into Zack's.
Zack looked down at his menu, trying to ignore the fact that his friends probably noticed they were closer than normal, and the red heat creeping up his neck.
If he had his curls, he would be able to hide this fact. He decided Jack was right to cry about losing his "curly babe".
He was gonna let Jack deal with the whole, "fake coming out of the closet thing". (They didn't know that it was fake though.)
Jack squeezed his hand and Zack reminded himself to breathe.
He's not ruining anyone's life by finally coming out of the closet. (He could be ruining Alex's life.)
It was after they ordered the food, and they were waiting, that someone finally caved in.
Jack's been whispering in his ear for the past thirty minutes trying get him to relax. And he was. Slowly.
But it was Cassadee who, after taking a sip of her drink, looked right at the two of them. "Alright, I'll bite. What's up with you two?"
Zack shrank into Jack's side, Jack's previous attempts of trying to relax him forgotten. "You can tell them," Zack said under his breath, knowing Jack was nice enough to wait for an OK.
"We're uh–" Jack started and with every word Zack felt himself become a different shade of red. "We're dating, actually."
Fuck. Fuckity fucking fuck.
Zack could feel the blush in his goddamn ears.
It was silent, until Alex spoke up, "No shit? Congrats man!"
Then everyone was speaking at once and all Zack could think of was how Jack felt, about Alex thinking he was happy with someone else, when he just wanted to be happy with Alex.
Zack was just really depressed now. He wasn't embarrassed about being with Jack, because Jack's actually a good guy even if he's a dumbass.
When their lunch finally came, no one was talking over anyone, and things were back to normal.
Except. You know. Zack and Jack were now officially "dating".
Alex had later invited them to the bar he worked at, for a celebratory drink.(Zack didn't really see what their was to celebrate. They'd only be more touchy feely than normal.)
But Zack dreaded that night. Probably without reason, but he didn't want to touch Jack if he wasn't the one Jack wanted to touch.
But it went exactly like Zack didn't want it to. They went to the bar, Alex got off his shift in five minutes, but they waited for him to get off his shift before they started drinking to be polite.
He kind of was the guy who invited them out, he was owed that much. As expected, Jack and Alex got wasted, and the drunker Jack got, the more he touched Zack.
But the problem was, Zack was kind of drunk himself, and he knew he shouldn't be letting Jack leave sloppy kisses on his jaw, but he was.
It was when Alex started to call a cab home that Zack did the same. Their was no way Jack or Zack were driving, and Zack wouldn't even let Jack drive sober.
Jack is a dumbass who makes dumbass decisions and Zack doesn't want his death to be by a car crash. That's just stupid.
In the cab Jack got way more feely, and Zack felt bad for the driver who kept clearing his throat whenever Jack would say something suggestive.
Which was probably twice every minute. Jack's hand was trailing up his leg, slowly, slowly, slowly, and Zack couldn't remember how to breathe.
He was crowded against the side door by Jack who filled his all senses. Zack's drunken mind didn't have the decency to push Jack away when he started kissing his jaw again.
The little car came to a halt throwing Jack off of him and Zack was giggling too much to help him up. Jack clambered out of the car and headed towards the campus. Zack tossed the cabbie a twenty and tumbled out of the car after Jack.
The walk to their dorm was a blur. All Zack can remember were the giggles and shushing one another when they got too loud.
Everything got clearer once that door was closed.
Zack was pressed up against the wall, kissing Jack like he was a lifeline while Jack was pushing up against him, hands busy with removing his hoodie. Both of them kicking off their shoes and removing their socks with their feet.
It was familiar, the way Jack's cool hands were a contrast to Zack's heat as they bunched up his shirt, moving up his side's in feathery touches. They parted momentarily for Jack to pull Zack's shirt over his head.
(This has happened more times than Zack would like to admit.)
Jack moved his mouth from Zack's own and instead attached it to Zack's neck, biting and then licking to soothe the sting of pain, making Zack let out little involuntary grunts and whines.
Zack's hands were letting go of Jack's shoulders and trailing down his torso to the waistband of his skinny jeans. They moved to his belt, undoing the buckle and then pulled it from the hoops in his jeans.
Neither could seem to get enough of each other, or enough air, only able to take in short little pants of breath.
The sound of Jack's zipper being unzipped was loud in Zack's ears, even though the occasional moan and pants, and what was probably the sound of all of Zack's blood rushing to his dick was suffocating his senses too.
Zack's hand was in Jack's pants, touching, and Jack was letting out nearly porn star worthy moans. Zack laughed at the thought.
Being a porn star was probably Jack's dream job.
Jack's mouth was on his again and they were slowly, slowly moving to Jack's bed, taking their time. Jack's left hand moved to palm at the obvious tent in Zack's jeans, making Zack moan as a result, and Jack to seemed to swallow all of his pleasure tainted sounds greedily.
The back of Zack's knees hit the bed (he forgot they were even moving at all) and instead of falling onto it, Jack was gently laying him out, tracing his mouth on Zack's jaw once more. (Maybe he had a thing for jaws.)
Jack stood up, removing himself from Zack and Zack whimpered at the loss of contact. His eyes opened and Jack was peeling if his shirt revealing flesh and bone, the skinny lanky guy Zack knew, and the one he remembered the first night they met. Jack began to shimmy out of his pants, and his boxers after that.
Zack's eyes wondered Jack's body. Honestly, Jack had no muscle, and that's not to say that you have to have muscle to be attractive, but it's just surprising Jack can even hold up his own.
Jack was attractive, really attractive. His form just worked for him and he had legs that went on forever. Zack just really, really wanted to touch him.
Jack smirked at Zack, who lay panting on the bed with his eyes half closed and filled with lust.
Fuck. Literally.
Jack crawled on the bed, kneeling between Zack's clothed legs, and placed his hands on Zack's waistband. He deftly worked at Zack's belt, quickly undoing Zack's jeans and yanking them down to his ankles. Zack kicked them the rest of the way off and Jack threw them to the floor.
Jack's mouth was on him, licking and sucking the head of his dick through the boxers. His hands pressed down on Zack's hips so he wouldn't thrust up, making him go at Jack's pace.
Zack's hands clenched and twisted the bedsheets while his toes curled. "Ja–oh god–Jack, please…" Zack moaned.
Jack lifted his head and hummed, pulling Zack's boxers down much like he did his pants: eagerly. He moved up the bed the kiss Zack, hungry and deep, and Zack couldn't get enough.
His hand was on Zack, teasing, feather like touches up and down his erection, and Zack was quivering from the attention. Jack tugged firmly before trailing down Zack's torso in a path of bites and licks.
Zack's breaths were increasing in volume now (loud, short gasps of pleasure), and he could feel the smugness radiating from Jack.
Before Zack could make a statement like get on with it, Jack was taking him into his mouth to the hilt, a load moan replacing any kind of response Zack had.
Jack had a great mouth. A really, really great mouth.
Jack pressed his tongue flat against the underside of Zack's cock, and licked up, an Zack's dick was probably a metaphorical lollipop in this situation.
Zack tangled his fingers in Jack's hair and tug, knowing he couldn't do much of anything else but moan.
Jack hummed around his dick in response, Zack's toes curling from the vibrations.
Jack's mouth let go of his dick with an obscene pop and a wicked grin. He crawled up the bed once more, to reach into his bedside table.
He came back with a condom and a bottle of lube. He placed both items on Zack's stomach and Zack managed to roll his eyes through his pleasured haze. (Jack was ridiculous, even during sex.)
Jack moved down to mouth at Zack's inner thigh, his hands busy coating his fingers in lube. Jack kissed his way up to Zack's leaking erection and lick a stripe up the side. Zack whimpered.
It was when a slick, cold finger circled and pushed into the ring of muscles that Zack felt anything close to pain. It was a burn he was all too familiar with, always resulting in a small hiss of pain.
Jack kissed his hip bone and whispered, "I'm sorry, baby," like every other time they've ever had sex.
Zack scoffed in response. Did he really think this still bothered Zack? Zack moved back on his fingers after a moment, to signal he was ready for another.
The second finger was when the actual stretch began, Jack would curl his fingers and spread them, trying to find Zack's prostate.
He was successful every time. Jack's finger brushed against the bundle of nerves, causing Zack to cry out.
"Holy shit—Jack!" Zack moaned, a hand moving back to Jack's hair, pulling, but not so hard he'd hurt Jack.
It wasn't long after that Jack had all three fingers curling and stretching Zack out, brushing against his prostate every time.
Zack was pushing pack against Jack's hand, a whimpering mess. "Jack–Jack–please, just–" Zack was seeing stars and he hasn't even climaxed yet.
Suddenly Jack was removing his fingers and opening the silver condom packet to roll the condom itself onto his dick. He tossed the packet it the floor, and the lube too, after he coated his dick in the liquid.
He grabbed one of Zack's legs to throw over his shoulder and lined himself up, before pushing into Zack's entrance, inch by inch, until he was buried deep.
When Jack came to a stop, he let out a content moan. "Your ass is great. I could stay here forever. Zack, I'm moving into your ass."
Zack laughed breathlessly, "please don't. I use that for other reasons than your dick."
Jack laughed, and let both of Zack's legs wrapped around his waist, pulling Jack closer. "I love you," he bent down and murmured into Zack's neck.
This has happened before too, and Zack has always just taken it in stride. "I love you too," Zack whispered and felt Jack smile against his neck.
"No you don't," he said just like months ago when he was drunk.
Then he was pulling out of Zack, and thrusting back in, leaving Zack a groaning and whimpering mess.
They found rhythm like that, Jack would thrust into Zack, shallow and sweet, and when he did Zack would grind back against him. It wasn't long until Zack was reaching his climax, groaning and begging Jack to go faster, to the point his words slurred together.
His pace was upped and Jack was practically pounding into him, pulling out almost all the way and thrusting back in so hard Zack was seeing white.
"Fuck! Fuck, Jack–I'm–I'm-" his warning was cut off by a loud moan, specifically Jack's loud moan. The blissed look on Jack's face stirred Zack's own release and he was crying out Jack's name loud enough that probably the whole hallway of people could hear them.
Jack pulled out and flopped down next to Zack. "That was great," he breathed.
Suddenly Zack was exhausted, and felt over used. Jack got up and came back with a rag to wipe up Zack and himself.
The used condom was tied and in the trash (hopefully not in the floor). Not that Zack actually cared at the moment.
He felt more weighted than ever with his emotions. Jack crawled into bed behind him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close.
Zack fell asleep soon after.
The next morning Zack was up preparing for his first class when he remembered that they left their car in the parking lot of the bar, and left a sticky note for Jack to ask Alex to pick it up.
He probably wouldn't. He'd probably forget, or not see the note.
Zack got to class, and Oli slid into the seat next to him. "Hell–oh. You don't look so good man," her green eyes were concerned and Zack could only smile.
He felt awful. "I'm fine, just didn't get a lot of sleep last night," he said rubbing at his eyes.
"Like I believe that." But she didn't push any further, and Zack was thankful.
It was weeks later, when Zack started to look and feel like shit, did he talk to someone.
He had bags under his eyes, and his hair always looked bad whether or not he tried to fix it, and everyone was getting pretty concerned.
So, he talked to Oli.
Except, more like, he was forced to talk to Oli. One day after class she grabbed his wrist and didn't let go, dragging him to her dorm.
She opened the door with such force it slammed into the wall, making a Girl in the room jump.
She turned around and started to say, "honestly, Oli, you'd think to be a little more gentle–" she then spotted Zack and blinked owlishly. "Oh. Hello."
She was the girl. From before. Silk blonde hair and large brown eyes.
"Hey! Christine, if you could leave and give us like an hour to talk, that'd be great!"
Zack held up his free hand. "No, it's fine, she can stay." Oli eyed him nervously.
"Are you sure? I won't be held responsible if she gets involved."
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine, I swear."
"Fine," she pulled him over to the bed on the left side of the room with red sheets. She sat him down and sat across from him.
They sat and stared at each other for a moment, the scratch of Christine's pencil loud in the silence.
Then the pencil stopped and Christine was walking over to sit on the bed. She sat down next to Oli and Oli smirked.
"Told you."
Zack shrugged. Personally he didn't care who was with them right now, as long as it was someone Zack didn't know. (Well, didn't speak to.)
"Talk, or have your balls at risk." Oli said, pink lips quirking up in a smile.
Zack would have talked either way. "So, you know that guy I'm dating? We're not actually dating."
Oli's eyes widened in an 'oh shit' manner, while Christine listened intently.
"We were–no are–fake dating to get another guys attention. But that guy has a girlfriend." Zack sighed.
Explaining this was going to be awful.
He did it anyway. He explained Alex, the guilt, and he even talked about the sex. (Which was kind of awkward.)
His explaining probably took up the thirty minutes that Oli had originally requested.
When he was done he felt better, but at the same time, he felt worse. He didn't want to acknowledge he was doing something as awful as breaking up Alex and Lisa, he didn't want to acknowledge he was doing just because Jack was his best friend and he'd do anything for him.
But here he was. He felt less weighted with secrets, but felt like more shit than ever. He rubbed at his eyes, feeling tired all over again.
Christine and Oli were silent, probably thinking through what Zack had said.
"Well, number one, your friend, or fake boyfriend, whatever, is a major douchebag. Number two: Fake dating or not, you probably shouldn't be with him unless you're completely okay with the consequences of it." Oli stated.
"Why does that make him a douchebag?" Zack asked. She didn't elaborate on that. Jack was anything but a douchebag, he was a idiot and obnoxious, but Jack wasn't actually a douchebag.
"Because he doesn't realize that…" Christine held up her hand cutting off Oli.
"Look, you care about this Jack guy, right?" She said, and then continued not waiting for an answer. "But the sex thing. He's not a fuck buddy, because if he was, you wouldn't feel the need to do anything for him. But he's really important to you, yeah?" She paused this time. Zack nodded.
"Zack, what if." She hesitated. "What if you're in love with Jack?"
What.
Wouldn't Zack know? Wasn't their supposed to be some kind of butterfly feeling, wasn't there supposed to be sparks and fireworks instead of. Whatever Zack felt? "But–I don't…"
"Zack, you don't have to be obsessed to be in love with someone." Oli stated.
The afternoon was spent in his dorm, Jack no where to be found. (It was like the first few weeks he was here: alone and empty.)
He sat there lying on his bed facing the wall, thinking about the conversation he had with Oli and Christine.
What if he really did love Jack?
He'd be screwed that's what. Jack's so obviously in love with Alex it hurts.
It's kind of just…pitiful…
"…ack! Zack! Zack wake up!" A hand was on his shoulder, shaking him.
Zack was pulled from unconsciousness and he blinked until his blurry eyes were clear. He propped himself up on his elbows to see Jack standing over him. Jack's eyebrows were furrowed in concern.
"You doing okay? Me and Alex were just going out if you wanted to come," Jack said, his hand still on Zack's shoulder.
Alex. (It was always Alex, Alex, Alex. Zack knew he wasn't the important one, but it always hurt to be reminded.)
Zack rolled his eyes and layed back down, shrugging off Jack's hand. "No. I don't want to." He turned to face the wall, so he wouldn't have to look at Jack's face.
"Woah, it's someone's time of month." Jack said. (Zack could imagine the way his hands were held up in an innocent gesture, and he tried not to.)
"Go away, Jack." Zack muttered. Jack didn't say anything else, but Zack could hear his retreating footsteps and the door opening and closing.
Now he was hyper-aware of how he felt, analyzing everything, and he just. Couldn't see it.
The next day was when he realized.
Zack offered to buy Jack breakfast, an apology for acting like a jerk, and Zack was all too aware of the arm wrapped around his shoulders. Along the walk Zack noticed he unconsciously leaned into Jack's touch, into his side where it was warm. Jack talked most of the walk, asking stupid questions.
Jack was just being Jack.
When they got to the diner they previously ate at with their friends, they settled into a booth and sat across from each other.
They didn't talk much while ordering their food, Jack got extra chocolate chip pancakes while Zack got eggs and toast.
It was before their meals came to the table that Zack apologized to Jack again.
"Hey. Don't worry about it, Alex was pretty worried too, you always come out with us."
This was the first time Zack noticed the ball form in his stomach, that felt heavy like lead.
It stretched up through his chest and squeezed around his heart, and all Zack could do was smile. "Thanks," he said, with out really knowing what he meant.
It was a couple days after that Zack finally broke under the pressure.
Jack was saying something about Alex again, and the fist closing in on Zack's heart wasn't just squeezing, it was crushing. Zack tried to ignore it while searching for his other shoe. Then Jack asked if Zack was listening.
"God damnit Jack!" Zack shouted and threw the single converse shoe in his hand at the wall, in a fit of rage.
Jack looked ready to jump out of his skin.
"Can't you shut up this once? It's always about Alex, and if you want to talk about Alex, go to him. I'm sure he'd be pretty interested! I'm done! I–I'm done pretending for you, I'm done pretending I'm fine, I'm just fucking done!"
And then Zack was out the dorm, slamming the door shut behind him. He walked down the hall barefoot, and with each step, his rage deflated.
Zack ended up in front of Oli's dorm, tears in his eyes that he refused to let drop.
When he knocked, Christine answered the door, her eyes softening immediately after she saw him. Oli came up behind her, and spotted Zack.
They didn't say a word to him as they pulled him inside, and after the door shut, Zack lost his composure.
The tears he refused to let fall were slowly over flowing pushing themselves over the edge.
This time he was lead to Christine's bed, comforting with forest green blankets and sheets.
He probably cried for hours with out a sound with Christine and Oli curled around him. They fell asleep like that too.
It was around seven in the morning when his phone started to ring in his pocket.
He pulled it out of his pocket, and with out looking at the caller ID, answered it. He held the phone up to his ear after sniffling.
"Hello?" He asked.
"Zack? Man you sound like shit." Oli snickered, awake, beside him.
"Sure, what is it?" Zack asked, wanting to get this over with. Alex was the second to last person he wanted to be talking to right now.
"Have you seen Jack? He just cancelled on me, and he hasn't texted me back."
“Why the hell should I know?”
"The guy is kind of in love with you, you know. I thought he'd tell you." Alex said, like Zack should know this.
Zack snorted. "Yeah right. The guy's obsessed with you."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Alex asked, sounding completely confused.
"That's the whole reason we started dating, he wanted to make you jealous."
"Are you–oh my god that dumbass." Alex said, and let out an annoyed huff. "Zack. I'm going to tell you something. You have to listen very carefully."
Zack's nose wrinkled in confusion.
"Jack has been whining about you for months. Months. This guy is ass over elbows in love with you, and when he told me he had a plan, I didn't think he'd be so stupid." Alex paused. "Actually I should have known, it's Jack."
"What?" Zack asked, his heart ready to thump out of his chest.
"Jack's in love with you. With you, Zack Merrick, not me, Alex Gaskarth." Alex huffed again. "That's all the inspirational speech I have, come back never."
Then the line went dead and Zack sprang into a sitting position. "I have to go," he said slowly, like everything was sinking in.
"I have to go, you both are amazing people, but I have to go!" And Zack was up running around if the room and he thought he heard Oli shouting behind him, "Go get him tiger!"
Zack was back at his dorm in only a minutes time, after running across the campus, the morning weather was fucking cold. He swung the door open and his eyes swept the room to see Jack curled up in a ball on his bed.
"Go away, Alex," he muttered bitterly.
"You have no idea how much I hate you right now. You fucking idiot." Zack spoke, out of breath.
Jack's intake of breath was loud, heard over Zack's harsh breathing.
Zack walked over to Jack, all the while saying, "no, like, seriously fuck you. You could have just told me you like me, but no, you had to be a dumbass. Like usual."
Jack was now sitting up, looking at Zack with wide eyes. Zack stopped at the edge of the bed, looming over Jack.
"Would you just get your ass out of bed and kiss me?" Zack huffed, after a moment of silence.
Jack was scrambling to untangle his limbs from his bedsheets and stumbling to stand. His hands were place on the side of Zack's face and pulling him forward in an eager kiss.
Then Zack punched him in the stomach. Jack made an 'oof' noise, all the air leaving his lungs. "That's for not telling me," Zack said, wearing a smug smile.
"Yeah, okay, I deserved that on–" Jack went on to say, but was cut off by Zack's mouth on his.
They'd figure it out from there.
Eventually. And…
Zack.
Zack was totally in love with Jack, even if he was an idiot.