Archive of Our Own

"What the fuck, Pansy?" Draco demanded as he opened the envelope. They’d decided not to buy birthday gifts for one another this year after figuring out that they had both just been returning whatever the other bought for them. This way cuts out the middleman. 

"It's just a little something, Draco," she replied calmly. "You're getting rather pudgy, you know. I thought you'd like the chance to lose the Longbottom look."

Draco glared at her. She looked back at him primly without a hint of apology. He glared at the gym membership card in his hand. It didn't apologize either.

It was true that he'd gained a bit of weight. That was what seemed to happen when one was in their mid-thirties and worked a desk job. He wasn't bothered by it though. His clothes were still expertly tailored. He hadn't lost a bit of his hair. Honestly, he thought he looked quite nice, all things considered. The bit of extra weight even made him look less like Lucius, which was something he would never regret. Who wanted to be perfectly slim and look like their arsehole of a father when they could be a bit soft and look like themselves? 

"You'll never find a man if you don't put yourself out there, Draco," she said finally. "Be your best self."

Self-consciously, he rubbed his jawline. "Fine," he said with a sigh. "I'll give it a try. But I can't imagine how going to the gym is going to help in that department."

It wasn't that Draco didn't want to date anyone. He certainly did. It was just difficult with his job and his cat and… who was he kidding, mostly it was his past. His job kept him busy through the day, of course, but everyone's did. His cat was fairly self-sufficient and seemed to prefer it when he wasn't home taking up her space. But his past was a different beast entirely. He was never quite certain what to say about it, about his family and his actions during the war. He'd paid for all that, of course. Three years of community service and a rather hefty donation from the Malfoy vaults had declared him free and clear, a productive and upstanding member of wizarding society. But he didn't always feel redeemed.

He didn't feel that way when Hermione Granger-Weasley came to his office with a question about tax law. He didn't feel that way when he walked down Diagon Alley, past the joke shop with one twin still looking a bit lost without the other. He didn't feel that way when Luna Lovegood, who now ran the ice cream shop, was nice to him even when she really shouldn't be. He still felt a bit like the teenaged boy he'd once been, privileged and spoiled, stuck between saving his parents and wanting to do the right thing. 

So dating was difficult, to say the least.

But perhaps Pansy was right. It did happen on occasion. Perhaps working out a bit would give him the boost he needed to put himself out there, to find love. 

"Say 'thank you,' Draco," Pansy said in a sarcastically sweet tone. Her crimson lips turned up at the corners innocently while her dark-lined eyes glinted wickedly at him. She was sipping something pink from a martini glass. It was all very over-the-top, very Bond girl.

"Fuck you very much, Pansy," Draco said, smiling sweetly back at her.

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Wicked Gains was the stupidest name Draco had ever seen for a gym. He couldn’t imagine why getting fit would be something wicked. He considered the Dark Lord to be the most wicked creature he'd ever met and he hadn't looked fit in the least. 

Nevertheless, he went in. He had an appointment after all, and he made it a point to never miss an appointment no matter how much he dreaded the task. 

"Malfoy!" Dean Thomas said from behind a desk just inside the door, a wide grin on his face. Draco didn't think he should be smiling to see him of all people. "You actually showed!"

"Of course I showed," Draco said, feeling rather affronted in spite of himself. "I have an appointment."

Thomas laughed. "I'm aware. I booked it," he said. "I just wasn't sure your girlfriend was serious when she made it. I don't think I've seen you out anywhere in years."

"Pansy is not my girlfriend," Draco said quickly. "I hope she didn't tell you that." He was aghast at the thought of someone assuming he was dating her. Pansy Parkinson did not tie herself down to anyone. And if she did, she would never tie herself to him and the feeling was quite mutual. Of course, there had been that one time during seventh year when he was still questioning his sexuality, but the less said about that, the better. "And I do go out," he added as an afterthought. He went out to get cat food and groceries. He went out to go to work. He went out for drinks with Pansy twice a month to ensure that she didn't stop by his home to make sure he wasn't dead. She had done that once. He had hated having her sharp judgy eyes looking at his sad lonely flat.

"Alright, man," Thomas replied, his eyes still shining with amusement. "Whatever you say. I'll let Harry know you're here."

"Harry Potter?" Draco asked, suddenly feeling terribly self-conscious. He'd had an enormous crush on Potter once upon a time and he'd bollocksed it up horribly. Like nearly everything else in his miserable past.

Thomas just winked and flashed a toothy grin at him then picked up his phone. "Harry," he said. "Your 6 o'clock is here."

Then Harry bloody Potter, Witch Weekly's darling and Saviour of the Wizarding World, entered the room. 

Merlin. What Draco would have given to sink into the floor just then. There were no other words for it: Potter looked good. He was wearing tight blue workout shorts and a grey tank top that covered basically nothing. He had bulked up considerably since their school days and all of it was muscle. His thighs rippled as he walked and Draco could only imagine how they'd feel squeezing his hips… and perhaps that old crush hadn't gone away after all.

"Draco!" he said, smiling in a friendly way that left Draco feeling rather disconcerted. They hadn't exactly parted ways on good terms. Potter had essentially left him in the hall after rescuing him from a fire before going on to save the world, etc, etc. Until that moment, he wasn't aware that the Chosen One even remembered him. "I wasn't sure you'd show up!"

"Why wouldn't I show up?" Draco snapped. Was he seriously expected to have the exact same conversation twice?

"We just weren't sure your girlfriend was serious when she booked the…" Potter started, but Draco cut him off.

"Pansy Parkinson is not my girlfriend!" he said firmly. "I am a homosexual and even if I weren't, I would not date that harlot bitch." He didn't feel bad talking about his only friend like that. He'd have said that to her face if she'd been there and she would laugh and agree with him. 

"Oh!" Potter looked at him stupidly for a moment as if trying to reconcile that thought. 

"Is that going to be a problem?" Draco asked. He was far too old to deal with bigots. Especially bigots who claimed to be inclusive. 

"Of course not," Potter replied, shaking his head. "I'm gay too. Well. Bi, but still." Having dropped that absolute bomb, he told Draco to follow him and Draco was left with no choice but to obey. As he walked, Draco was sure he could hear him chuckle while muttering "harlot bitch" under his breath. 

"So what do you do?" Potter asked when Draco caught up with him. As they walked Potter showed him around the gym as if it was something revolutionary, as if he'd never seen a locker room before. 

"I'm an accountant," Draco replied. He didn't expect any reaction. He knew that he had a boring job. Nobody asked questions when he told them he was an accountant. 

That is what made it all the more surprising when Potter stopped short and looked at him with wide green eyes. "You are?" he asked with interest. 

Draco prayed that he wasn't about to ask him questions about the gym's books or some such nonsense. With equal parts exasperation and hesitation, he said, "Yes, Potter. My job is an accountant."

"Niiice," Potter breathed, grinning. "Are you on OnlyWands?"

"Erm, I work for a firm." Draco wasn't sure exactly what to say to that. What on earth was OnlyWands? "That's a place where accountants work," he added slowly because at that point Potter seemed so dense he needed it broken down to its most simple explanation.

"I get it," Potter said, winking. Merlin and Morgana, did he seriously just wink? "You should check out OnlyWands, though. You'd be great there."

"Very well," Draco said after a beat, agreeing just to end this terribly odd conversation. "I'll look into it."

"Cool," Potter said, resuming his tour of the gym almost too quickly. "So what are your workout goals?"

That was a question that Draco should have been prepared to answer. It was why he was here, after all. Unfortunately, the best he could do was mutter, "Pansy thinks I'm getting too chubby."

Again Potter stopped, though he looked more annoyed than interested this time. "What are your goals, though?" he asked. "I can help you lose weight if that's what you want. I don't think you need to though."

"I don't want to!" Draco said, grateful that someone else seemed to recognize his dilemma. "I…" he paused, hoping that he wasn't saying something daft. "I rather like the way I look," he said softly.

"Good!" Potter said, perking up. "I love body positivity, no matter the body type. Makes my job easy." He walked over to a bumpy looking wall and began tapping his wand over it. "Let's just focus on having a good time then." Draco rather liked the sound of that too, though he had a feeling he'd be imagining a different kind of good time with Potter when climbing into bed that night. "This," he continued with a gleam in his green eyes, "is a climbing wall."

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Draco didn't think he'd ever been so sore. He eased himself down into his desk chair and typed OnlyWands into the search bar. "Moneypenny," he snapped at the cat who was draping herself over his shoulders. "You've got food. Go away!" 

"Meow?" she replied, likely questioning his sanity. She did not go away.

He scrolled and clicked for a few moments, his eyes getting ever wider. He was tempted to cover Moneypenny's eyes. Some of what he was seeing was utterly obscene. 

Fascinating. But obscene. It was probably a good thing that he was so sore he didn't think he could even handle wanking. OnlyWands was porn! Live porn!!

Just then, his FlooTime app chimed and he scrambled to close the OnlyWands window before he answered. Not that Pansy would have known – or cared – that he was looking at naked men on the wizardnet. 

"Pansy!" he barked as soon as her face came into view. "Why did Harry Potter tell me to look at pornography??" Actually he had implied that Draco should make pornography, but he wasn't ready to talk about that. 

Pansy cackled. "What the fuck did you say to him, Draco?" she asked between peals of laughter. Merlin, her laugh was grating. "We both know our dear saviour is about as dim as Snape's classroom. What have you said to make old Potty's mind fall in the gutter?"

"I just told him I'm an accountant!" Draco protested. He had not said anything out of order in the least.

Pansy laughter certainly did not decrease. "You didn't?" she gasped.

"I did!" Draco said. "I told him I work at a place where accountants work because he didn't seem to grasp my meaning. And then he told me to check out OnlyWands." 

"Oh, Draco. Haven't you seen those videos on WixTok??" Pansy said, obviously exasperated but still laughing. "Nobody asks you questions when you say you're an accountant," she sang. Badly, Draco thought.

"What is WixTok?" he asked. He felt like he had entered some kind of alternate universe. 

Pansy narrowed her blue eyes. "It's social media," she said slowly, as if she was speaking to a toddler.

"Like The SpellBook?" he asked. He had a profile on The SpellBook. He was friends with his mother and Pansy and Lavender Brown and he had even liked the 007 page. There was something he found compelling about that muggle spy. Much more glamorous than Snape had ever been, at least. He didn't much see the appeal of the social media thing though. 

"Why do I talk to you?" she muttered, rolling her eyes. "SpellBook," she intoned, "is for the elderly. If you want to keep up with Aberforth Dumbledore, by all means, keep your SpellBook account. Those of us who live in this century are using WixTok, though." 

Blinking at her for a moment, he then said in a small voice, "Do WixTok accountants like pornography?"

"Oh darling," she said, laughing again. "It's a euphemism. WixTok 'accountants' are sex workers. "

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After hanging up with Pansy, Draco found himself sitting quietly and petting Moneypenny for a while, before ever so casually getting out his phone and setting up a WixTok account in spite of himself. He felt rather silly about it, but now that he'd gotten himself into this mess due to some stupid lightning gen slang that he didn't understand, he figured that he'd better at least give it a cursory glance. He scrolled through clips of cute boys who were far too young for him and videos of krups chasing their tails. He followed Luna whose account seemed to be just her playing an ukulele and singing about giving ice cream to magical creatures. 

Before he knew it, he'd gotten caught up in it entirely. He did hear the accountant song a fair number of times and found himself a bit more interested in looking at OnlyWands knowing that he might see some of these men there. It wasn't until he got so caught up in it that he posted a video of him casting bubble charms at Moneypenny while she glared at him in annoyance instead of cutely batting at them that he realized how much time he'd lost to WixTok. It was no wonder it was so popular. One could lose themselves there, faffing about for hours and accomplishing absolutely nothing. 

Rolling his eyes, he put his phone down for the evening, made sure Moneypenny's water dish was full, and headed to his bedroom, mildly berating himself for having lost so much time to something so trivial. After taking his clothes off, he decided he didn't need to wear anything to bed that night. No one would know and his arms were aching. That climbing wall had been no joke. 

Flicking his wand, he turned the lights out then tossed it onto his bedside table. He didn't fall asleep right away, though. As expected, his head was full of images of Potter and his broad shoulders and muscular thighs. Somewhat less expected were the thoughts of OnlyWands playing in the back of his mind. Why had Potter seemed so interested in him being there? Did Potter want to see Draco Malfoy naked? To stroke his hard cock as Draco Malfoy disrobed?

That thought had Draco's own cock perking up with interest. He gave in to it without hesitation. Yes, it was very late. Yes, he needed to get to sleep. But he'd fall asleep far more quickly after wanking than he would if he tried to fight it. As it turned out, he wasn't too sore for this after all. 

His last thought after cleaning himself up, just before falling asleep, was to wonder why on earth he had agreed to booking another appointment with Potter tomorrow. 

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Draco woke up the next morning with a face full of fur. "Moneypenny, get off," he groaned, his voice thick with sleep. Shoving her was a mistake though. As sore as he thought he'd been last night, it was at least doubled after a night's rest. Cursing climbing walls and WixTok and Harry bloody Potter, he sat up with a groan and grabbed his phone. Moneypenny rubbed her soft body against his back and mewed pitifully; she was only being sweet because she wanted brekkies and he knew it.

Ignoring her for the moment, he checked his notifications. He had an email from a client complaining about his recommendation that they stop producing thestral leashes as they were a waste of resources (marked for later) and one proclaiming that there were hot young wizards in his area (deleted). And he had 36 notifications from WixTok. 

Seventeen people had liked his video of Moneypenny, seven had commented on it, nine had followed him, and three had invited him to watch their live streams. He rolled his eyes because it was all quite silly; why would nine people follow him because he made one video of a cat. A cat who was, at the moment, biting his elbow because he hadn't fed her the moment he opened his eyes. He was also rather pleased, though, in spite of himself. He was generally terribly uncomfortable in wixen social circles so it was rather gratifying to find that he wasn't entirely hated on social media. One of his new followers went by the username TheBoyWhoLifts. That could only be one person. 

Flopping back on his bed, he pressed record not really knowing what on earth he was doing. He was starkers, for Merlin's sake! Not that anyone could tell that. They could see he didn't have a shirt on though, which was nearly as bad. "Good morning, WixTok," he said. "Thank you to everyone who's followed me overnight. I really apprec- oof!" Moneypenny planted herself on his chest and meowed loudly. "Moneypenny and I really appreciate the new friends." He ended the video and posted it quickly, before he could change his mind. At least now he had a crumb of content for the nine people who'd apparently been interested in him. Or, more likely, in Moneypenny. Whatever.

Finally, he got up and fed the cat. She didn't even bother to thank him for it, the entitled little minx. 

He climbed in the shower then and decided for a moment that he may as well just live there forever. The hot water felt incredible on his sore muscles. Before long, though, his sense of responsibility got to him and he reluctantly shut off the water and went to get dressed. 

As he tied his tie and buttoned his waistcoat, he made a mental list of what he had to do that day: balance the books for Wizco (their bank statement should be in today), figure out why Spellridge's was hemorrhaging funds (he suspected their payroll accountant was being less than upstanding), argue with the CEO of CreaturesCorner about thestral leashes (not that he cared. They could bloody well bankrupt themselves if they liked, so long as they paid him first), and go to Wicked Gains for another round of abuse from the Saviour. Sighing, he flicked his wand and set it to packing his gym bag as he pulled on his black chelsea boots. They were the most comfortable shoes he had that weren't trainers and, given how he felt after one round with the Chosen One, he decided that comfort was key. 

Moneypenny swished her grey tail in irritation and gave him a glare when he nuzzled her furry head and told her to have a good day. That was the best he'd get from her; some days she swatted at him when he told her goodbye but she hadn't this time so he decided that today would be a good day. 

Throwing some floo powder into his fireplace, he called out clearly, "Malfoy, Zabini, & Nott" and stepped through to his office. His happy place. He knew that working in finance was an objectively boring job. It was why he didn't generally discuss his work with people that he came into contact with. But he found it quite invigorating. Numbers made sense to him where people and cats did not. 

Blaise and Theo had set the firm up with him, of course, but they each largely kept to themselves. There was no need for much social interaction in their line of work and they all rather preferred it that way. Nott was in financial law, so he was often out of the office anyway, and Zabini worked much like Draco: quiet and alone.

"Good morning, Draco," Lavender greeted him as he entered the office. 

"Mx Brown," he returned. Lavender could have been another source of awkwardness for him, if he'd let it. They had deep scars running down the left side of their face and neck from Greyback in the final battle and he could have felt guilty over that since the feral wolf had been on his family's side. Not that he'd even chosen to be there, but still. When it came down to it, even the Dark Lord wouldn't have treated Lavender in such a way. He may have killed them if needed, but he wouldn't have maimed them needlessly, and he was a monster. Greyback had been an entirely different beast, quite literally. Draco was only grateful that Lavender had survived the encounter. 

"Theo wanted me to let you know he's done some research into the Spellridge's account. It's definitely their payroll guy," they said, handing him a memo from Nott. "It's Zacharias Smith," they said in a conspiratorial tone. "That guy always was a wanker. Theo's going to start preparing a case for prosecution."

Smiling, Draco thanked her. "That makes my day easier," he said. "And you aren't wrong about Smith." Privately, though, he fretted about it a bit. An easier day at the office only meant more time to stress about the gym and Potter and euphemisms for sex work. 

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"Draco! You showed up again!" Potter said when he entered the gym that evening. He had hesitated less at the entrance this time. Knowing what to expect was helpful, though he was still dreading it a bit. 

"Of course I showed up, Potter," he snapped, shifting his gym bag from one sore shoulder to the other. "You booked this appointment with me. You should have known to expect me." Honestly, did they just go around booking appointments willy-nilly and expecting none of them to show?

"I know," Potter said, chewing at his thumb nail. The plebeian. "I didn't know if you were serious or just humouring me."

"Merlin, not this again." Draco rolled his eyes. "Can we please just go forward under the assumption that if I make an appointment I will keep it?"

"Sure! Sounds great," Potter replied, grinning cheerfully. "I thought you might like to do some swimming this evening," he said as he came out from behind the reception desk. "You went pretty hard on the wall last night. You're probably pretty sore today."

"Understatement of the year," Draco muttered. "That's fine, Potter. You're the expert." In all honesty, swimming did sound rather nice. He knew that it would be just as much of a workout as climbing had been but being in water tended to make things seem easier. 

He made his way to the gym locker room with Potter trailing just behind him. "I didn't know you had a cat," he said as Draco started to change clothes.

"I'm not sure why you would have known," he replied, unbuttoning his shirt and folding it neatly. "Until yesterday, I hadn't seen you in 20 years. Cats typically don't even live that long, so I certainly wouldn't have had her back then. And you wouldn't have known about her even if I had," he said. "We weren't exactly close."

"I might have known," Potter said cryptically. "I knew most everything about you back then."

Draco sighed and ran his finger along one of the faint white scars criss-crossing his chest. "Yes, I suppose you did." Quickly, he pulled his workout shirt on.

"And I didn't know you liked James Bond," Potter continued on. Why did this infuriating man feel the need to list everything he didn't know about someone he hadn't seen since their school days? 

"I'm a British man, Potter. Liking James Bond is practically a requirement," he said, pulling his shorts up. "Although," he went on, "it is a somewhat recent development, as you can imagine. My father didn't exactly allow muggle things to be present in my life when I was young." He pulled his wand out and transfigured his workout clothes into something more suitable for swimming. "Not that I missed much really. Bond in the 90s was… objectionable."

"No way!" Potter shot back. "Brosnan was great! He was funny. Bond's supposed to be funny. And he was way better looking than Craig."

"I'll give you his looks," Draco said, following Potter out of the locker room and toward the indoor pool. "But Craig has much better films. He's gritty. Bond is meant to be gritty."

"You think Quantum of Solace was good??" Potter said incredulously. 

Draco grimaced. No. No, he did not. "Skyfall," Draco said, climbing into the pool. "Skyfall is good." That was an understatement. Skyfall was the pièce de résistance of Bond films as far as Draco was concerned. 

"Skyfall…" Potter sang, drawing the word out like Adele. His singing was… not great, but it didn't bother Draco nearly as much as Pansy's bad singing did. "Okay, fair," he said. "That one was perfect." Then he started directing Draco on water aerobic warm-ups and told him to do 20 laps in the pool and all thoughts of Bond and banter ended. 

After he got started, his sore muscles loosened up and he found that he really enjoyed swimming as a workout. The climbing wall had been fun largely because he got to look at Potter's perfect arse as he demonstrated techniques, though the workout had been enjoyable enough too, he supposed. Swimming, though, he truly and thoroughly liked. The 45 minute workout flew by and after what seemed to be only moments, Potter was directing him to do a cool down.

"I haven't had such fun working out since our Hogwarts Quidditch days," he said as he climbed out of the pool. He hadn't exactly meant to say something so dorky and old-man-sounding, but Potter just smiled at him and cast a drying charm over his dripping body. Draco shivered slightly – definitely not in a bad way – as Potter's magic caressed his skin.

"Great!" he exclaimed. "Finding something you enjoy is really what it's all about."

They headed back to the locker room. Draco wasn't sure exactly why Potter was following him this time. He could certainly change clothes and find his way out the door without a personal trainer's assistance. He decided to take advantage of the opportunity though. "I have to tell you something," he said quickly at precisely the same moment that Potter said "Can I ask you something?"

They danced around each other for a few moments, each politely insisting that the other go first when finally Draco just went for it. "I'm not a sex worker!" he said, much more loudly than intended. 

Potter stared back at him in confusion, his mouth open. He looked like an incredibly muscular and attractive fish. Draco gazed back, eyebrows raised. He had never been attracted to a fish before. He waited for Potter to say something. 

"But you said…" Potter spoke slowly. "You…"

"I said I'm an accountant, Potter," Draco replied equally slowly for Potter's benefit. "And I am an accountant. I work in finance. Money. Numbers." He tried to make it as simple as possible. 

Slowly realization dawned in Potter's green eyes. "You're an accountant," he said sheepishly.

Draco nodded.

"And you work at a place where accountants work." He smacked a hand against his face then ran it through his hair, messing it up more than it already had been. "Godric, I'm so sorry, Draco!" he said earnestly. "I really thought…"

Draco cut him off. "I'm not offended, Potter," he said. "There is nothing offensive about sex work. It just isn't what I do. I didn't want there to be any misunderstanding." Potter swallowed hard and nodded back at him. "Now," he continued, bumping his shoulder into Potter's to show there were no hard feelings. "What did you want to ask me?"

"Right," Potter said, shaking his head as if to clear it. "I was just wondering if you'd like to go out with me?"

It was Draco's turn to gape at Potter and he was certain that he made a less attractive fish than the other man. "Why?" he finally managed to say. "I mean, I'm…" What he was went unspoken: boring, chubby, a Death Eater. "And you're…" He looked at Potter helplessly. Interesting, fit, the Saviour of the Wizarding World. 

Potter smiled kindly. "Your past is your past, if that's what you mean," he said. "It's history. And I never did well in that class." He grinned. "All I see is a cute guy who fascinates me, Draco. I know you're a little insecure about your body, but you shouldn't be. I already told you that I like body positivity, no matter the size or shape. You're  happy with your body. You told me so. And I like that." He bit his lip and stared at Draco for a moment before continuing. "You're clearly not out of shape like you claim to be, either. You just swam for 45 minutes and you tackled the rock wall like a beast yesterday." He paused and tentatively reached out to touch Draco's arm briefly. His fingers were warm. "I think we've got great chemistry and I'd like to get to know you better." He ruffled his hair again. "And I really want to meet your cat," he added, laughing. 

Draco ran a hand over his face, feeling the stubble that was beginning to grow there this late in the evening. It was as if Potter had shot down every argument he had without him even voicing any of them. "Isn't it a bit of a conflict of interest, Potter?" he asked. "Dating your client?"

"It's Harry," he corrected. "And no. I don't think so, anyway. I'm not a healer. I just run a gym."

Draco nodded. "Alright," he agreed. "Harry." The name felt strange on his lips, but right, as if some long past wrong was beginning to be corrected somehow. "I'll go out with you."

"Great!" Harry exclaimed, letting out a breath as if he'd been fearing rejection. "I'll let you get changed then. Just stop by the desk before you go and we'll figure it out!" He gave Draco another bright smile then turned and all but skipped down the hall. Draco stared after him for a moment, still not sure exactly what had happened.

After he got dressed, sans his tie and waistcoat as he saw no need to put them back on just to go home, he pulled out his phone and opened WixTok. He had four new followers. 

"Hi, WixTok!" He said after pressing record. His hair was a bit of a mess – nothing like Harry's of course, but it was hanging limply down the sides of his face – but he didn't much care at that moment. WixTok had already seen him naked in bed. He shoved the stray blond strands behind his ears and continued, "I've just finished at the gym for the evening and I got asked out on a date!" He widened his eyes dramatically. "I said yes, of course. I'm just… quite giddy!" he said with a little laugh. "Thought I'd tell someone who may be interested. I doubt that Moneypenny will care much." 

With that, he ended the video and gathered his things then headed down the hall to meet Harry to arrange their date. He knew that Harry had followed him on WixTok and could even, at that very second, be watching Draco's silly reaction. But he didn't mind. He wanted him to know that the hesitancy he'd shown in the moment did not outweigh his excitement. 

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"Draco Malfoy!" Pansy screeched through FlooTime. "Why did you tell all of WixTok that you had a date before you told me??"

"It's not a big deal," he said smugly back, petting Moneypenny who was lounging calmly in his lap for once. 

"Not a big deal??" she hissed. "It was a big enough deal for you to tell the whole wizarding world! You've never gone on a date before!"

"I have so!" he objected. "There was that man with the fedora."

"Having egg and cress sandwiches with Marcus Belby for lunch at the Leaky Cauldron is not a date, Draco," she said, rolling her eyes at him. "So who is it? Is it Dean Thomas? He sounded hot when I spoke to him."

"No, it's not Thomas," Draco said. He looked down at his nails nonchalantly. "It's Potter."

"HARRY POTTER??" Pansy demanded. "I'm going to kill you, Draco. How could you not lead with that??"

"Honestly," Draco said, dropping the act, "I'm just as shocked as you. I've no idea why he'd be interested in me. I'm certainly not my best self at the moment." He huffed a self-deprecating laugh.

Pansy's eyes softened. "Yes, you are," she said firmly. "I only said that to get you to do something, to get you out of the rut you were in and motivate your arse to get out of the house. You are always the best, Draco Malfoy. I would accept nothing less from those around me and you know it."

He gave her a watery smile. "That's true," he said, swallowing hard. He did not want to tear up over Pansy Parkinson. "You are terribly demanding."

"Damn right, I am," she said with a wicked smile. 

"I told Potter you were a harlot bitch," he said, regaining his composure. Moneypenny jumped down to the floor and he winced as her claws dug in.

"Good!" Pansy said, laughing. "So he knows what to expect from your best friend. If you've got to put up with the Granger-Weasleys, he deserves to put up with a harlot bitch like me."

"I love you, Pansy," Draco said with a laugh, but he meant it. 

"I know," she said, her smile reaching her blue eyes. "I love you too."

¤▪︎¤▪︎¤▪︎¤

When the day of their date arrived, Draco was a nervous wreck. Even Lavender noticed that something was up with him. 

"Ooh, is it date night?" they asked excitedly when he stumbled over his own oxfords coming through the floo.

"How did you even know about that?" he asked. He was friendly enough with Lavender, but he certainly didn't tell them anything about his personal life. 

"You put it on WixTok," they said, looking at him like he was silly. "You've been talking about it for like a week."

"Oh," he said. "I didn't realize you'd see those." He hadn't really considered the fact that people he dealt with on a professional level might see his videos. Thankfully, he hadn't really said anything untoward. He just hadn't been very, well, professional in them. Not in the least, actually.

"Of course I have!" they said, smiling. "It's nice to see that side of you. You're always so buttoned up and serious. I thought you were kind of oblivious, honestly." 

"Erm, no," Draco said, shifting uncomfortably. "I just don't have many friends, is all. And Blaise and Theo are the same as me!" He was beginning to feel unfairly singled out. 

"They really aren't!" they laughed, but seemingly in a friendly way, not in a laughing at him kind of way. "We all went out to the pub last night. You're in the SpellBook chat where we talked about it. You just never open it." They lowered their voice. "We all thought you were going through some stuff, honestly. I'm glad to see you're coming out of it though!"

"What group chat?" he demanded. He certainly hadn't been included there. He wouldn't have missed an invitation like that. It would have been rude. 

"Let me see your phone," they said, holding out a hand.

Draco handed it over, then stood over Lavender's shoulder, watching as they navigated through his apps. "Look," they said, opening up the SpellBook. "Click this bubble in the corner and there's your messages." A little green number hovered beside the bubble once she opened it. 

"What does the 47 mean?" he asked, afraid that he already knew the answer.

"It means you have 47 message requests, you old man," they laughed. "Check those messages!" They handed his phone back to him. "I bet you have more friends than you thought."

After thanking Lavender and giving their shoulder a friendly squeeze, he took his phone into his office and closed the door. 

Four of the messages were from Pansy, all essentially saying, "You dumb twat. You don't even know how to check these, do you?" He replied: You could have shown me how at any time, you hussy. Don't blame me because you are a terrible friend. 

Twelve of them were from his mother, some asking him to explain various memes and some animated gifs proclaiming "I love my son!" He rolled his eyes, but sent back a few hearts and a few meme explanations. "Okay, boomer," he thought, understanding for the first time why Pansy got so irritated with his technological ineptness. It wasn't his fault he'd practically been raised in a pureblood cult.    

Another twelve were either spam or messages from people that he did know but had no desire to be in contact with. No Greg, I don't want to invest in NifflerCoin. No, Marcus, I do not want another date with you and your fedora. Apologies Hannah, I am gay and do not date women. Some of them he replied to and some he deleted.

The remaining messages were all from people he never would have expected to hear from, but he wasn't sorry to. There was one from Dean Thomas announcing the opening of Wicked Gains a year ago and one from Hermione Granger-Weasley inviting him to a war memorial to foster reconciliation in wizarding society. Eight were from Luna under various profiles – how many owlmail addresses did she have? – sharing poetry she'd written or art she'd made or just whatever random thoughts had floated through her brain.

And yes. There was an office group chat. A fairly active one by the looks of it.

Draco: Why is this chat called Books, Booze, Bugs, and Draco?

Ender Dragonfly: I really like bugs. I'm sure you can figure out the rest. Lol

Blaise the Magnificent: Nice of you to join us, old boy!

Draco: bugs? Like… spy technology? 

Ender Dragonfly: Bugs like insects. Lmao

Draco: oh. I'm guessing Theo is books?

Shut up I'm reading: 🙄🙄🙄

Shut up I'm reading: Seriously though, I'm glad you're feeling better. 

Draco: I wasn't depressed! I didn't know about this chat! 

Blaise the Magnificent:  Well now that you do, you'll have to catch us up on life. Pub tonight? 

Ender Dragonfly: He can't tonight. He has a date!

Shut up I'm reading: 👀👀 Who's the guy?? 

Draco: ….

Draco: you do know we're all in the same office, right? We could just have this conversation in person.

Blaise the Magnificent: This is easier. Stop deflecting. Who is he?

Draco: …. I'll tell you if it goes well. 

Shut up I'm reading: Good luck then. Pub night tomorrow! Bring him if he's good. 

Blaise the Magnificent: Yesssss!!

Draco found himself grinning at his desk like an idiot. All this time he'd spent keeping his head down, focusing only on his work and his cat and avoiding his past, he'd been avoiding the present too. Maybe Pansy had been right to tell him he needed to put himself out there. Maybe going to the gym hadn't been about his weight at all, but about shaking up his stuffy routine. 

He gave a deep sigh. He hated whenever he had to admit to Pansy that she'd been right. 

¤▪︎¤▪︎¤▪︎¤

As nervous as Draco had been, the date went brilliantly. He'd worn a deep burgundy coloured shirt, hoping to play to Harry's Gryffindor sensibilities, and a dark grey suit. Whatever he'd done, it had worked, because Harry's green eyes had widened appreciatively when he'd seen him. 

They had dinner at a new place called Charm just off Diagon Alley. It was the perfect place for a first date; elegant but not overly pretentious, romantic and cozy but not so much so that a first date was uncomfortable. Their conversation flowed freely as they talked about everything from films and work to friends and social media.

"I honestly didn't know about the accountant song when we first met," Draco confessed. "I was genuinely shocked when I found out what OnlyWands was. I couldn't fathom why you'd have sent me there."

Harry went bright red as he laughed. "I really thought that's what you meant! I've never met a real accountant before!"

Draco laughed with him. "Well, now you have. I really enjoy my work, but most think it seems very dull."

Harry laid a warm hand on top of Draco's. "I'm not sure about the work, but I find at least one accountant very interesting."

"That was a terrible line, Potter," Draco replied with a smile. "You're going to have to do better than that if you meet Moneypenny. She's far more picky than I am."

Before they knew it, hours had gone by. Desert finished and wine drunk, they split the tab without fuss and headed out onto Diagon Alley.

"It's been ages since I've walked the Alley at night," Draco said, trying to remember when the last time had been. He must have been a child still.

"I love it best at night," Harry proclaimed and Draco couldn't disagree. Most of the shops had closed down, but the bars and restaurants were busy. Fairy lights were strung overhead and the magic of the little wizarding space seemed more palpable. The air almost hummed with it. 

"Do you want to come back and meet Moneypenny?" Draco asked shyly. He didn't want to presume anything, but if Harry was half as happy as Draco was just then, he knew that the night had gone very well indeed. 

"Is that a euphemism, Mr Malfoy?" Harry asked cheekily.

Draco laughed. "It could be, if you like, perhaps. But I really do have a cat and you did say you wanted to meet her."

"What are we waiting for, then?" Harry said, taking Draco's hand and twining their fingers together. "You only live twice, you know?"

"Or so it seems," Draco said, grinning. No one else ever got his Bond references. 

Hand in hand, they walked down Diagon Alley, slowly making their way to the nearest Apparition Point, in absolutely no rush. It was enough just to be together, to feel their hands touching and the air of magic around them. They had all the time in the world. 

¤▪︎¤▪︎¤▪︎¤

When they got to Draco's flat, he unlocked the door and Moneypenny came tearing into the room, likely expecting food, but not at all expecting a stranger. She stopped short when she saw Harry and gave an inquisitive "Mrrow?"

"Moneypenny," Harry said. "What gives?"

"How long have you been planning that one?" Draco asked, rolling his eyes at Harry's Connery impression. He couldn't have been more charmed though. 

"Since I first heard her name," Harry laughed, running his fingers through her soft grey fur. "So this is the place where accountants work?" he asked, looking around. "I like it!"

"This is the place where accountants sleep," Draco said, pouring two glasses of wine and handing one to Harry. He sat down on the sofa and watched as Harry played with his cat. She seemed far more interested in him than she'd ever been in Draco, but he wasn't offended in the least. He rather liked it. "I told you I work in a firm." He told Harry a little about his office and mentioned that they'd invited him out with them the following night. 

"I'd like that!" Harry said, smiling. "How is Lavender anyway? I knew she had recovered after the battle, but I never heard what happened to her after that."

"They," Draco corrected. "Lavender uses they/them pronouns. But they're doing really well. They really like bugs."

"Like spy technology?" Harry asked, an excited gleam in his eyes.

"That's what I said!" Draco exclaimed. "But no. Just insects apparently."

"Oh," Harry said. "That's disappointing. But I'm glad to hear they're well. I know it wasn't easy for them at Hogwarts."

Draco grinned, pleased at how seamlessly Harry had switched to using Lavender's correct pronouns. "It wasn't easy for any of us, I'm afraid," he said. "But we're all doing much better now, I think."

Smiling, Harry stood and crossed the room to sit by Draco, setting his wine glass on the coffee table as he passed it. "True," he said. Easily lost in the green eyes that stared deep into his, it seemed natural to hear next, "Would it be alright if I kissed you?" 

"I can't think of anything I'd like more," he said, setting his own glass down beside Harry's. 

And then Harry's lips were on his, warm and firm and perfect. His fingers were in his hair and he tasted like wine and chocolate and magic. Draco ran his fingers over Harry's arms, feeling the curve of his biceps. The strength beneath his fingertips was intoxicating. They each kissed as if they needed it to breathe.

In time, Draco crawled into Harry's lap, straddling him, pressing their bodies together through their clothes. "You're so perfect, Draco Malfoy," Harry murmured in his ear and Draco melted. 

Ties were discarded first, then shoes, then shirts. Harry stood up, Draco's legs still wrapped around his waist, and tried to make his way to the bedroom, ending up, instead, in Draco's office and stepping on Moneypenny's tail on the way. 

"She might not like you best now," Draco mumbled against Harry's throat and Harry laughed. 

"I'll make sure to make it up to her some other time," he said.

Eventually they found their way to Draco's bed, closing the door firmly behind them to keep the cat out. Their remaining clothes were tossed on the floor. Their bodies grew sweaty as they moved together. Draco worshipped Harry's body and Harry worshipped his right back. There were no secrets, no misunderstandings. Only heat and passion and magic that flowed between them and when they finally drifted to sleep, their bodies tangled together, the magic and passion still mingled in the air.

¤▪︎¤▪︎¤▪︎¤

When Draco woke up the next morning, there were green eyes smiling down at him. Harry had his messy head propped on his hand, his muscular legs still entwined with Draco's. 

"Good morning," he greeted softly. "I fed the cat."

Draco almost proposed marriage right then and there. Finding a good man was difficult enough. Finding a good man who also loved his cat? That was priceless. 

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to Harry's. "Good morning," he said. "What are your plans for the day?" Draco hoped he wasn't being presumptuous by asking. Harry had said he'd go to the pub with him that night, but that didn't mean that Draco was entitled to know exactly what he planned to do all day. 

"No plans," Harry said. "I'll spend the day with you if you've got nothing else going on." He smiled hopefully and Draco mentally canceled any plans that he'd had for the day. Not that he'd really had any, but even if he had, those dimples were worth canceling plans. 

"I've got nothing," Draco said, grinning and pushing his hair back from his face.

"Cool!" Harry said. "I thought you might like to make a WixTok with me?" Draco laughed, and when he realised that Harry was quite serious, he laughed even harder. 

An hour and quite a few takes later, Draco was getting ready to post the video. It had been nearly impossible to get through it without laughing, but in the end they'd done it. Harry watched over his shoulder as the clip played back to them. 

Draco, sitting at his desk with a ledger book and a calculator sitting in front of him. "Nobody asks you questions when you say you're an accountant," he lip syncs.

Harry pops over his shoulder in the video and lip syncs back, "What do you do?" 

"I'm an accountant," Draco returns.

"Where do you work?" Harry asks.

"At a place where accountants work."

"Do you like your job?" 

"Yes, I like my job, and my job is an accountant," Draco finishes, punching some numbers into the calculator with a flourish. 

"It's definitely going viral," Harry said after they'd watched it a few times, laughing harder each time it played. 

"I honestly can't be arsed whether it goes viral or not, Potter," Draco said, still giggling. He tagged @TheBoyWhoLifts and captioned the video 'No, really. I'm actually an accountant' before posting it. "I'm just happy to be putting myself out there."