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When the news of her son’s defeat came, Sisygambis was shocked but not as surprised as she should have been.
She was sitting in her elaborate chair as the eunuch announced the news. He was trembling a little, as if afraid of her possible reaction. But she only waved her right hand to dismiss him and let out a long sigh.
Despite her love for her son, she knew he did not care enough about his women to defend them to his death. No Persian Great King would. Also, he had always valued his own skin too much. And so, no matter how boastful he was about his military prowess, she knew he would leave them behind when push came to shove.
But it also meant that the barbarian upstart would now have his pick of the women. That was, assuming he did not kill them all, as was the custom of Persia.
Her proper daughters-in-law, Darius’s wives, began silently weeping. Oh, nothing showy, just tears rolling down before they were quickly wiped away. Darius had married them mostly to secure alliances and they were too well-bred to truly make a scene. Sisygambis did not know if the tears were for Darius or their own safety.
Darius’s concubines, on the other hand, started collapsing into various piles onto the floor, sobbing and tearing out their hair. They were loud and showy; in fact a bit vulgar. But they were Darius’s favorites, and he had always liked high-strung women.
She scanned the crowd once more and commanded, “Silence! My son is still alive! He’ll be back soon to kill the barbarian invader.”
And then she summoned the eunuch to find her granddaughters, especially the two oldest ones, both of whom had reached marriageable age.
Like Sisygambis, they held their back straight and their head high, despite their obvious apprehension. Naturally, they were worried about their father, as Darius had always been an excellent father to his many children.
Being the King of Kings should have meant he had thousands of duties to worry about, yet he had always remembered to bring them a treat or two whenever he visited the harem. Back when they were young, he would even play with them or talk to them sometimes.
Sisygambis waved her hand again and the eunuch gathered everyone in front of her. “The barbarian will be coming here soon. We must show him what being civilized means.”
*****
The next day, the barbarian king finally arrived. He entered with another man, who was a little shorter and with a head of shining, straw-colored hair. And the two of them were similarly attired in tunics of sorts, but with bare legs. The king was finely featured, almost as handsome as a Persian, though both of them were as beardless as any eunuch.
Accompanied by her granddaughters, Sisygambis prostrated herself. She knew her movements were still elegant, despite her aching bones. She murmured a welcome to the barbarian king, and both men immediately extended their hands to guide her back up.
“No,” the king said. “I’m not Alexander.” The king – wait, no – the brown-haired young man turned sideways and let his companion with the golden hair step closer.
She tried to apologize, but the actual king merely laughed. “No matter, Mother. He, too, is Alexander.”
When a person was this generous, the only thing to do was to accept. She introduced to them everyone at the harem, and they seemed genuinely interested, despite the fact that they must have so much to organize and manage in the outside world.
Neither the young king nor his companion seemed that interested in the various women, though a few of the concubines were simply…simpering. They were throwing ‘come-hither’ looks, but the two men acted as if they did not see it.
However, they did stay until the incense stick had burnt out, talking with her and her granddaughters. The two men were not actually looking at the young women with lust, but with, dare she dream it, respect. After a short while, they said their goodbyes and left.
*****
After a while, Sisygambis got used to the uncertain life. She actually liked the young barbarian king, though her loyalty to her own son had not wavered.
When the Persians finally broke through later, she was glad but not ecstatic like the rest of the harem. Despite it being the only strategically sound choice, she still had hard feelings about her son abandoning her and the rest of his women to his enemy’s mercy.
But soon enough, that victory turned to tragedy. It was a scene eerily similar to the day she received the news of his son’s defeat. A eunuch scrambled into the harem to tell her the news of her son’s death.
But the women did not sob this time. They had used up all their tears at Darius’s first defeat.
Sisygambis felt sad beyond words, but Darius’s death seemed inevitable once she had gathered from her network of servants of the young invader’s – the Great King now – prowess on the battlefield.
They could not tell her much about the actual fighting or strategy, but they were able to amass gossip about how the young Great King was as fearless as any lion and how loyal and fierce his men were. And the Persian army was soft, despite its numbers. Their civilized ways were ironically their downfall.
But then she learnt that one of Darius’s underlings had betrayed him and practically left him for dead, to be found by the Greeks. She vowed to find his name and have him killed, either by assassin or by begging the new Great King Alexander.
And then Alexander did something she never expected. He sent Darius’s body back to her, with word that she should plan a funeral as elaborate and dignified as was befitting his station in life. And then he was even to be buried in the royal tombs.
She finally burst into tears right there and then. She had already experienced kindness at the young man’s hand, but this was beyond generous. She sent a wordless thank you to Ahura Mazda and recommended planners to the now Great King.
After Darius’s body arrived, she and her granddaughters washed it themselves, using rosewater and fragrant oils. When they finished, they sent it to the embalmers. Everything was done properly, and she led the women, including her granddaughters, to the funeral and said a final goodbye to her dear son.
Yet in her heart, a kernel of hope began to bloom. She had lost a son, but the new Great King had continued calling her Mother. Dared she hope that this foreign Great King would act as a son to her as well?
*****
They were back in Susa when Alexander sent the whole harem teachers of the Greek language.
Sisygambis had ceased to call the Greeks barbarians, especially when they acted much kinder in many respects than Persian customs would demand. And the young Great King had even avenged her son’s death by killing that faithless scoundrel Bessus.
But to learn their language was a step too far. Also, she was too old to be able to absorb a new language.
Yet she made sure her granddaughters did learn Greek and learn it well. If they were to survive the world without completely losing their status as semi-princesses, they must keep themselves in Alexander’s good graces.
Soon, the young man and his companion visited the harem again. It wasn’t that he hadn’t visited before, but it was always just to talk with her and her granddaughters, and not to demand relations with any of the women.
And the servants did whisper that the Great King preferred lying with his loyal companion Hephaestion and the eunuch Bagoas over most women, with the sole exception of a concubine named Roxane.
But during this current visit, the Great King stated matter-of-factly that he would be marrying her oldest granddaughter Stateira, with his companion Hephaestion to marry her second oldest one, Drypetis. With a gentle smile, he explained that this was to ensure his and Hephaestion’s children would be blood kin.
She was actually glad of the arrangement, as it would mean the two men would focus on Stateira and Drypetis and not neglect them in favor of concubines. In fact, other than that Roxane, there might not be any other concubine in the Great King’s life. And it was rumored that Hephaestion had never had any relations with women.
And if the Greek tutors were any indication, the two men did want to actually communicate with her granddaughters, on top of their stated wish for the two young women to be, well, broodmares. But Sisygambis naturally would never breathe a word of those feelings to the now Great King.
*****
Drypetis and Stateira were visiting the harem when they received word that the Great King had died.
Drypetis had not even gotten out of mourning colors for her husband Hephaestion yet, and now this devastating news. Stateira gasped, with all the air seemed to have gone out of her at once and her hand shooting up to clutch her heart.
Sisygambis quickly gathered her into her arms, trying to offer the young woman a grandmotherly shoulder to cry on. But the shock was so great that her own tears would not come and that felt profoundly wrong.
The Great King was so young still, and Stateira had not borne Alexander any children yet. So Great King’s wish to have his children and Hephaestion’s children be part of the same family were doubly dashed.
Then Sisygambis glanced at her second oldest granddaughter and remembered the day the two men first visited the harem. “He, too, is Alexander.” So it should not shock her this much that the Great King died only months after his closest friend.
Nevertheless, what Sisygambis truly felt was…nothing. Absolute numbness. Over the years, she had slowly come to see Alexander as her own son as well, and no mother should experience the death of not one, but two children, each in the prime of his life.
On top of that, no Persian should have to experience the death of two Great Kings in one lifetime, especially in such a short period of time. And unlike the death of her first son, there was no one to avenge Alexander’s death against.
Sisygambis looked up, sweeping her gaze around the room, with all the women and eunuchs still living there, as if the Persians had not been defeated. Some of the women were actually rejoicing that the ‘barbarian’ Great King had died.
But the rest of these barbarians did not appreciate the Persians’ civilized ways; so without Alexander, who would protect them now?
And specifically, her two granddaughters’ lives were now in grave danger, as the Great King’s concubine Roxane was a jealous and scheming woman, and she had borne the Great King his only son.
But all these thoughts and calculations were becoming more and more exhausting. She would much rather leave all this behind, and simply lie down and grieve, for both Persia and her two royal sons.
Propriety demanded she stay dignified and manage the women, but who would gainsay her now? She nodded to herself. There was in fact nothing stopping her from just leaving everything behind, now that the situation had become totally hopeless.
She pressed a kiss onto Stateira’s forehead and gently pushed her away. She stood up and, after pecking Drypetis on the forehead as well, began walking to her own rooms. Stateira and Drypetis tried to follow, but she gestured at them to remain where they were.
Once inside, she locked the door and collapsed into a puddle. The sorrow did strike her then, and she wailed. A small voice in her head kept scolding her for feeling this much pain, which was far greater than the pain she felt for her own flesh and blood. But emotions were emotions, and she had no control over how strongly she felt.
The only thing she could do was control how she would express her pain, and she did not feel like repressing it right now. So she kept on lying on the floor sobbing, curled up as if she was still in the womb.
After what seemed like hours, somehow she had made up her mind during that time. She would keep her room locked and refuse to eat, and hopefully could pass onto the afterlife this way.
Vaguely, she could hear someone banging on the door, but it was secure and would hold. Occasionally, her tears would stop and she could feel her mind waking up again. Still, in the back of her mind, she noted the days and nights passing.
But everything felt slow and sluggish, and though at first she felt starved, it stopped by the third day. She also felt parched, but that, too, passed. By the fourth day, she felt extremely weak and sleepy. Yes, she could almost feel her spirit leaving her body behind.
And leaving this world behind would feel so good…
Sisygambis closed her eyes.
~~ finis ~~