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I’m not who I’m supposed to be

Summary:

Chan didn’t want to get married…

Not until he saw the boy walking in…

He looked so fragile, so unlike royalty…

Jeongin didn’t even know why he was here…

Chapter 1: The meeting

Chapter Text

Chan was supposed to get married. It was normal for royals actually. Like a covenant.

Chan hated the idea, but had no other choice but to comply. There were no other heirs besides him.

He was just lying in the pond, relaxing and getting ready to meet his fiancé tonight. He didn't know nothing about them, their name, how they looked, were they a good person, or bad?Nothing and that frustrated them more. What if they were rotten inside and he had to spend the rest of his life with them.

Chan sure wasn't in a hurry to meet them for sure. He just groaned and went underwater, just wanting to drown and end everything.

Jeongin was nervous as hell. He knew this was a thing, had he ever expected to be a part of it?

Absolutely not.

He gulped as the lady dressed him up in a ridiculously fancy outfit just so he could meet his future husband. Whom he’s never met. He wasn’t even supposed to marry him, he was just a replacement.

He wasn’t even sure if he was actually marrying or if he was meant to look pretty until the actual person who was supposed to be betrothed showed up.

Chan could hear all the cacophony and music in the castle, meaning the event has started. But he wasn't feeling like he should go anytime soon.

"You know that you have to go down?" Changbin told him. He was Chans personal guard and sadly his only friend. But he was right. This was bound to happen. Chan was still looking through the window when he saw them. A few dozens of guards, horses and a golden chariot.

"Well then, let's the show begin." He said to Changbin and they both went to the throne room.

“Calm down it’s not like he’s going to eat you alive.” The lady’s words were meant to be reassuring but Jeongin only heard the annoyance in her voice.

He wouldn’t stop fidgeting as they approached the castle. He couldn’t stop thinking about he wasn’t meant to be here. Why him anyway? How the hell did this happen? He just needed to stop thinking because they weren’t going to give him answers anyway.

He walked into the throne room staring at the two guards who stood in front of him. He had been told to walk straight and keep his head down. He was told not to speak unless spoken to and he had to rehearse his introduction a thousand times over and yet he still felt his heart pounding.

Chan just sat in his throne. Changbin stood on his left while the king on his right. He saw people coming, the guards hiding them from Chan’s view.

"I hope that they’re at least pretty.” Changbin whispered to Chan.

"Like that matters." Chan said.

"Do you want to have sex for the rest of your life with your beloveds face buried in a pillow? Don't you at least want a nice view?" Changbin asked. Chan only laughed. Good thing he has him at least. He could endure all of this somehow.

Jeongin felt a tap on his wrist and he recognized that as his signal to kneel. He kept his face down as the lady took a step forward.

“Prince Chan due to your failure to select an adequate fiancé, today one will be presented to you. Prince Chan meet your fiancé Yang Jeongin.” The lady bowed and Jeongin felt anxious. Was he going to be mad, Jeongin was by no means the standard for royalty?

Chan was annoyed by that statement. What did adequate fiancé means anyway? All the royals were rotten. Everyone just wanted more power. His power.

They were one of the strongest and fearful kingdoms. And a covenant with them was a must. His father was really powerful and cruel man.

Chan was thought to be the same. He looked at them. His eyes noticed a tiny person. He looked like he didn’t belong here at all. A pure looking boy, fear filling his eyes.

"Binnie!" Chan started.

"Yeah, I see him. Hope he is the one."

Jeongin felt another tap on his shoulder and he stood up on command. He looked up to see the prince sitting on the throne. He was careful not to stare or make eye contact before he bowed at his waist just like he had practiced.

“It is my honor to serve you and your needs my prince. I can only hope that I live up to your expectations as your fiancé.” Jeongin tried his hardest not to let his voice shake as he repeated the carefully rehearsed lines. He didn’t say anything more then what he was told as he waited for the prince’s response.

He looked even smaller when he spoke. Chan stood up and was now in front of Jeongin.

"Look at me." He demanded with a cold voice. When the boy lifted his head, Chan froze. The boy sure looked to pure for this world, but his eyes? It was like a whole universe. Like he held the world in them. And that moment he knew that the boy must became his.

"Is he a fairy?" Chan blurted that by mistake.

Jeongin stared up at him and sucked in a breath. Oh god. He hadn’t ever seen the prince in person. He was expecting someone older, someone cruder, someone who wasn’t able to naturally find a partner with ease. But this… this was entirely different. He was young and handsome… and did he just call him a fairy?

“No, my prince he is not.” The lady bowed before speaking but the look of annoyance was obvious on her face.

"Let's have dinner. You must be starving from all the traveling. " The queen sad. Chan continues to stare at the boy. He knew he was intimidating and probably scared the boy, but he couldn't stop himself. They say he is not a fairy but all he was missing were the wings to be one.

"Come on, don't creep the boy out more then you already have." Changbin said nudging Chan away from Jeongin. Chan followed but his gaze stayed a bit longer on the boy.

Jeongin nodded his head forcing a smile on his face. He was starving and he’d gladly admit to it although it wasn’t necessarily from the travels, but still.

He followed several paces after the prince knowing it would be rude if he tried standing next to him. He wasn’t royalty, he didn’t know how to live this life so when he was ushered into the dining room he sucked in a breath.

He couldn’t use enough words to describe how beautiful and elegant the area was. He was about to embarrass himself in front of the royal family.

Chan sat on the table, motioning for Jeongin to sit next to him. He wanted him near him for some reason.

Jeongin clearly saw the hand waving him over but he wasn’t given much choice as he was sat across from the prince. He stared down at the silverware with a frown. Why was there so much?

Chan was pissed at that damn lady. How dare she disobey him.

"I require for Jeongin to sit next to me. How else I'll have to know him better if he is so far away from me?" Chan’s tone was cold again when he glared at the lady.  And besides the boy looked like he wanted to be away from her. If Jeongin had to fear someone that would be Chan and Chan only.

Jeongin gulped as he heard the lady click her tongue beside him.

“My apologies my prince.” Jeongin was pulled up from his seat and sat down next to Chan. He didn’t look up setting his hands in his lap. He didn’t look up at the prince choosing to stare down at his hands instead.

"If you are going to be my beloved you have to obey me, not anyone else. Do you understand?" Chan whispered only for Jeongin to hear. The boy looked beyond scared.

Chans inner self screamed for him to embrace the boy, to calm him down. To tell him that everything would be all right.

And here he was.

Wanting to scare the boy even more. To push him to his limit.

Jeongin felt his ears burn as he heard the male whisper into his ear. He nodded his head quickly not saying a word. He could feel fear running through his whole body but he tried his hardest to ignore it.

He isn’t sure what it is, but something about the prince scares him. Was it just the fact that he knew nothing about the male, or was it how he was already demanding obedience?

Then again, that’s what Jeongin was meant to be. The prince’s obedient fiancé.

Chan saw the red on the boy’s ears and he loved it for some reason. He could see his mother glaring at him so he decided to stop.

His father teaches him to be cruel, while his mother - to be kind. She was his comfort, his safe zone. He could be good for now.

"Use the utensils from outside first, then for the second dish use the next pairs. " Chan whispered. He found it adorable how the boy looked so clueless and strange at the same time. Didn't he know how to eat?

Jeongin nodded his head listening to him speak carefully. Outside in. That shouldn’t be too difficult.

The first meal of the course was brought and set down in front of everyone. Jeongin stared down at the soup in front of him. He looked around the table cautiously waiting for everyone else to start.

From all the manners, Chan hated that they all had to wait for the king to start. Good thing he wasn't so obedient. So, he started first. Allowing for the rest to eat as well. And again, his gaze again fells to the boy.

Jeongin could feel the prince’s eyes on him. He swore everyone in the room was staring at him. He brought the spoon to his mouth trying not to spill anything from how bad he was shaking.

He just wished everyone would ignore him and pretend he wasn’t even here.

The queen saw the boy shaking so she brought a topic, bringing all the attention to her. She sure was a sunshine. Chan brought his hand over the boys, wanting him to relax.

Jeongin couldn’t help but flinch slightly. Oh god he didn’t want to anger him but that probably made him mad. He bit the inside of his mouth just trying to relax.

The queen made sure that no attention was at the boy, so he could eat at peace.  Chan didn't say anything but continue to stare at him. He was mesmerized with the boy.

"I told you to stop being a creep." Changbin said behind Chan.

You are very brave with your words." Chan said angrily.

"That still doesn't change the fact that you are a creep right now." Binnie said. He hated it when he was right. But something caught Chan’s attention.

"Eat." Chan demanded. "You look so fragile. Are you on a restriction or something?"

He was talking to him, oh god he was asking him a question. He looked up to the lady who had been with him the whole time but she was invested in the queen’s story.

“S-sorry, I was told to try and keep a thin waistline. It’s more acceptable for people of your standards.” Jeongin gulped as he stared down at the soup.

It was just soup it should be fine it he eats that. Anyways the prince had already told him to obey him and he just told him to eat. Jeongin picked the spoon back up eating slowly.

"You want to know my standards? I want my beloved to have some meat on themselves. When I hold their waist, I want to dig my fingers in their flesh and feel how soft they are. I don't want to feel bones." Chan whispered, ghosting his lips over the boy’s ear, loving to tease him.

Jeongin gulped as he felt his face heating up. He shifted awkwardly in his seat. Why was he so close at the dinner table? Wasn’t this kind of behavior supposed to be reserved for private encounters. Jeongin just nodded his head as he shut his mouth. Just eat, it’s not that difficult.

You don’t want to upset or disappoint him.

After all, you’re about to be married to this man.