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“Why in the living fuck are we out here again? It’s snowing out, and we’re sitting on metal bleachers. Doesn’t seem like that clever of an idea to me,” Karkat complained as he watched Eridan flip through his newest script. Of course the shorter boy was complaining; it was to be expected. In fact, Eridan would be concerned if he didn’t complain.
“Because I need to look over my parts for the play, and I can actually focus out here, unlike in there,” Eridan answered simply, not even bothering to glance up from the paper. It was true; here it was quiet, asides from Karkat’s complaints, while the auditorium was filled with other loud, chattering students who were practicing for the play as well. “Besides, we’ve only been out here for, like, five minutes. And I figured you’d be smart enough to wear an actual coat for once instead a that shitty hoodie of yours,” he added after looking up to catch Karkat glaring at him.
Karkat narrowed his eyes menacingly at the remark on his choice in clothing before sighing and moving closer to Eridan in an attempt to read the front of the script to see the title. “Macbeth? Sounds lame. Which douche do you get to try out for?”
Eridan gasped and shot a bewilered look at his friend, obviously dramatizing his reaction.
“What? What’d I say wrong this time?”
“So many thin’s you don’t e’en want to know. But I’m goin’ to tell you anyway. First of all, you don’t try out; you audition. Secondly, this play isn’t anywhere near lame. In fact,” a smug grin crossed Eridan’s face, “you should audition with me.”
“Oh, fuck no. That’s your district. I don’t want to wear tights and prance around stage like some asslicking fairy of faggots or some shit, okay.” Eridan’s face fell as Karkat crossed his arms over his chest to show he meant it.
“W-well,” he grimaced at the stutter in his voice, “excuse me for askin’ you, princess.”
Surprisingly, Karkat made no comment on the name-calling; simply continued frowning and staring at what he could see of the play script. After a few moments of comfortable silence, he spoke up again. “Are you going to have to kiss any assholes in it?” Eridan looked up from the page at Karkat, but he glanced back down at his lap to avoid any awkward eye contact.
“So that’s what you’re worried about?” Eridan scoffed.
“I am not worried about that, shit for brains. I just want to know if you finally get to have hot make outs, mr. virgin lips.” Despite saying this, he still wrung his hands nervously, and his face was rather flushed— though this could simply be from the chill weather. Karkat hoped that Eridan didn’t see through his lie.
But he did. Eridan saw through it completely, or at least he thought he knew why Karkat wanted to know. Though he knew for sure that he wouldn’t even have to worry about kissing anybody, he stopped to think about it before answering, making sure to make a big show of it. Kissing, he did think of, but he was mostly thinking about being able to kiss Karkat. The crush on the loud boy had formed slowly over the years, but it took him by surprise when he realized how he felt. Feferi was the one he was supposed to love, and everyone knew this because of how often he told them this, but any love he felt for her that was anything other than platonic seemed to completely disappear into thin air as soon as he admitted to himself that he might actually be attracted to his so-called best friend.
“Dude, you still there?”
“Oh, yeah. No, I don’t have to kiss anybody in this, or at least, I shouldn’t have to.” He returned to reading his lines over again. “But who knows, maybe I’ll find a nice girl to take into the janitor’s closet, and-“
“Eridan.”
Eridan shot a glance up at Karkat. “Yeah?”
“Don’t be a complete douchelicker.”
“Wow, rude, Kar. Look, I have to audition today, and we get to hear back some time next week. What day is it anyway?”
“It’s the thirteenth, dumbass,” Karkat answered, shaking his head slightly. “You seriously didn’t know that?”
“Wait, the thirteenth? That means tomorrow is the fourteenth!” This comment got him a rather rude stare from Karkat. “No, I mean, it’s the fourteenth. Valentines, dude.”
“Yeah, I know. But so what? It’s just another Tuesday for me.”
Eridan cocked his head to the side. “I thought you of all people would appreciate a day for couples, considerin’ those shitty romance movies you watch all the time.” Karkat opened his mouth to object, but Eridan cut him off before he could even get a word out. “Yeah, yeah, not shitty. I know. Look, we both have to find ourselves some dates. Preferrably someone who is nice to look at.”
Karkat rolled his eyes. “You are such a jackass. Picking a valentine based off looks should be against the law.”
“See, that’s what I mean. You’re a helpless romantic, Kar, and everybody knows it. So, why don’t you have a valentine? It doesn’t make much sense.” He furrowed his brows and leaned in closer to Karkat, ready to listen.
“It’s just not that big of a deal to me. Besides, it isn’t like anyone is going to want to be my valentine. Everybody knows me as the yelling kid. Who wants to be with the yelling kid on the day for couples. Nobody, that’s who.” He waved his arms around him theatrically to get his point across better.
Eridan simply rolled his eyes. “You got the answer wrong, it’s everybody. Everybody wants you obviously. But I’m gonna snatch you up first so there aren’t any riots to worry about.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re gonna be my valentine,” Eridan answered matter-of-factly. A grin split across his face at the blank look on Karkat’s face. “Is that a yes?”
He shut his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair a few times before answering. “Fine. I’m your valentine or your snoogly-woogly bear or what the fuck ever you feel like calling me.”
“Does this mean I get to kiss you?”
“Excuse me?”
“You, me, kissing. I didn’t stutter.” Eridan leaned in closer, still smiling.
Karkat bit down on his lip nervously. “Maybe. But it isn’t even Valentines yet, so you have to wait for my answer.” His lips twitched as if he was about to smile, but Eridan knew better than to expect him to actually smile or give away any signs of happiness.
“Come on, just a peck. Just one,” Eridan pleaded. He put on his best puppy-dog eyes look in an attempt to convince his friend.
“I said maybe. And stop moving so close to me, Romeo.” He pushed Eridan away, almost playfully, if you could describe anything Karkat does as playfully.
“All right, all right. Calm down, I’m just kiddin’.” Eridan rolled his eyes and set the script to the side, deciding that he would never be able to focus on it now.
“Too bad.” Eridan pouted in confusion at this, but Karkat didn’t state what he meant.
“What’s that mean?” Karkat stayed silent, but stood up and plopped himself onto Eridan’s lap. “Dude, get off,” he muttered, shoving the boy in his lap.
“Isn’t this what you wanted, though?”
“I wouldn’t know if this is what I want because you aren’t tellin’ me what you’re doin’ you douche. Just tell me an-” He was cut off as a pair of lips pushed against his own. They say that when the person you love kisses you, you’re supposed to see fireworks. That’s an understatement for what Eridan felt. His whole head might as well have been exploding, and his veins filled with firecrackers.
By the time Karkat pulled back, his face was burning with embarrassment. “There. I kissed you, fishlips.”
Before Eridan could speak, a blast of snow slammed against the back of Karkat’s head, followed by a chorus of laughter. Looking down at the ground near the bleachers they sat in, he saw a group of their classmates pointing at them, whispering, and giggling. “Get a room, faggots!” was one of the multitudes of things they managed to get out in between their laughs. Karkat whipped his head around, ready to give the kids one of his infamous lectures, only to get another snowball chucked into his face.
“Hey! Watch where you’re throwing those things, assholes!” Eridan shouted at the kids walking away before looking down to check on Karkat. “Dude, you okay?” When he got no response, he tried comforting him. “Look, who cares what they think, they’re just a bunch of douchebags anyway. Come on, I can’t tell if you’re okay if you don’t even look at me.”
Gathering his courage, Karkat finally looked up at Eridan, but stayed silent. It felt like he was choking, drowning, he knew his face was wet, and he could only hope it wasn’t from tears. But Eridan’s stunned silence convinced him otherwise. He ran his fingers over his face to brush away the water, and pulled his hand to look at it. His fingers seemed to be covered in red liquid, though. He furrowed his brows as he tried to figure out why his tears were red. Then it finally clicked that he was actually bleeding, not crying. Karkat looked up to say something, but nothing seemed to come out. He was still choking over himself.
Thankfully, Eridan spoke up. “Dude, you’re bleedin’. Holy shit, they must have put ice in that snowball or somethin’. Are you okay? Kar, say somethin’.”
“You think blood washes out?”
“Oh my God, you are such a fuckin’ ass. I actually thought you were hurt, Kar.” Eridan punched the other boy’s shoulder jokingly before sighing out of relief. He had actually worried about him, and he was glad that he wasn’t legitimately injured.
“Man, I must be the best fucking actor ever then. Maybe I should try out for that play of yours,” Karkat joked.
“I don’t know about actor, but I do know you’re a good kisser.”
“Oh, shut up.”
