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“Geez, Scott! Stop!” Allison giggled. Stiles clicked his tongue, just wanting to watch a movie with friends, but of course, Scott and Allison had to be gross.
“Fucking hell, do they ever stop?” Erica muttered from beside Stiles.
“Bro, you think this is bad? You don’t have little family dinners with them.” Stiles muttered back.
“God, I’m so sorry.” Erica patted his shoulder.
“You’re adorable” Scott chuckled, kissing Allison’s cheek, making her giggle.
“Jesus, I’m getting a drink. I need a break.” Stiles stood up and went off to the kitchen.
The kitchen I’m the packhouse was his safe haven, everyone knew to leave it alone and not do anything funny in it. If they did, stiles would either mess with their food, or Derek would torment them.
“You good?” Derek asked, coming up behind Stiles and nuzzling into his neck.
“They’re ruining a fun night by being gross.” Stiles pouted.
“I would say ignore them, but they make that difficult.” Derek moved away from Stiles and went to grab a snack.
“Hey, can you grab-” Before Stiles could finish, Derek threw the Oreos at him. “Thanks, boo.”
“Don’t call me boo.” Derek snorted, going back to the living room.
At that comment, Stiles gets an idea. Is it a stupid one? Yes. Will it probably piss Derek off? Also yes. But it might get the message across that everyone here is annoyed.
So, Stiles sets the plan in motion. He walks back into the living room and sees Allison sitting in Scott's lap. Jackson beside them looks annoyed and uncomfortable, Lydia just doing her best to ignore it.
Stiles moves across the living room, passing his old seat beside Erica and going to Derek who is sitting on the armchair. Stiles just smiles and plops down on Derek’s lap, mimicking how the gross couple is sitting.
Derek, the best alpha there ever is, just lets it happen. He looks a little confused at first but just goes with it. Allison giggles again from her spot and Stiles can see everyone get annoyed again.
“Oh my god, Derek.” Stiles says in a valley girl voice, giggling. There was a snort from Erica’s direction, but Stiles ignored it. It was silent for a bit, thankfully, but it didn’t last long. They slowly started up again, much to everyone's disdain. There was a jumpscare in the movie and Stiles took the opportunity.
“Kya, oh my god Derek! That was so scary!” Stiles kept the voice, this time earning a snort from Isaac.
“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got you.” Derek said, completely monotone. This made Erica start wheezing, Isaac hiding his laugh as much as he could. Even Boyd was smirking at their antics.
“Um, Stiles?” Scott asked, looking completely confused.
“Yes?” Stiles hummed, going back to normal.
“What’s going on?” He asked wearily.
“Nothing, my fine furry friend. Just watching a movie with my bros.” Stiles grinned, going back to the movie. It gets blessedly quiet again, but that doesn’t make Stiles move. No. He is quite content seeing if he can weird Scott and Allison out more.
Stiles pops an oreo in his mouth, crying out in offence when a pillow hits the back of his head. He glares over his shoulder and finds Erica pointedly looking at Scott and Allison. So Stiles looks over and sees Scott feeding Allison a strawberry with his mouth. Stiles wants to gag. Apparently so does Jackson, because he looks completely uncomfortable.
Stiles looks down at his Oreos and pouts, he doesn’t want to share them. They are specifically labelled his, so no one else would touch them. Derek chuckles lowly, seeming to catch on to his dilemma. He saves him the hassle and feeds Stiles one of the Oreos by hand.
“Awe, thanks Derbear!” Stiles coos.
“No problem, bae.” Derek responds easily. This time Stiles has to hold back a laugh, not expecting Derek to even know about the word ‘bae.’
For all of their effort, it doesn’t seem to deter Scott and Allison from being their annoyingly obnoxious selves though. Jackson at some point sent Stiles and Derek a look, basically begging them to up the scales to weird them out. Stiles didn’t really have an idea for once though, especially when Scott and Allison started making out.
Stiles pulled out his phone and went on Amazon, scrolling through nerf guns and water guns. Which would be more effective? Water guns. But Derek might kill him for getting water in the house. Hell, he’s the one who cleans up the most around here, he would be mad.
Derek stood up, keeping Stiles in his arms in the process before putting him down where he originally sat. Stiles just shrugged it off and kept scrolling, wanting to ignore the two across from him. When Derek came back, he picked Stiles back up easily and sat down the way they were before. Stiles froze when Derek discreetly put something in his lap. He nearly cackled in glee at the nerf gun Derek somehow hid from all of them.
Stiles waited, he knew he was good with a gun, but nerf guns were different, obviously lighter. But he wanted to shoot Scott in the face every time. So he waited until they were going in for a kiss and took aim, hitting Scott on the cheek before sliding the gun between him and Derek. Both of them pretended to watch the movie as Scott asked everyone who shot him.
At everyone’s confused look, they left it alone. Stiles nearly giggled in glee, turning to hide his face in Derek’s chest. Derek chuckled as well, patting Stiles’ head.
“Just don’t take out an eye,” Derek whispered.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Stiles snickers.
“You break it, you buy it.” Derek raises an eyebrow at him.
“What? Like a penny is much.” Stiles rolls his eyes.
“Did you just say Scott is only worth a penny?” Erica leans over, joining the conversation.
“Fine, a quarter.” Stiles pouts. He notices the two are back at it again and pulls out the nerf gun, takes aim, and quickly shoots them before hiding the gun again.
“Okay, seriously. Who keeps doing that?” Scott sounds annoyed, but they all give him a blank look. “Can I at least know why?”
“Cause you’re being gross!” Erica shouts.
“We are trying to have fun as friends,” Isaac chimes in.
“Because I will kill you if I have to sit next to you any longer,” Jackson says.
“What are we doing wrong?” Scott sounds adorably confused, which just makes it worse.
“Scott, buddy. None of us want to be subjected to your PDA. It’s a bit much.” Stiles finally joins in.
“But you all are being all,” Scott waives, trying to find the right word. “Couply.”
“Yes, but we aren’t disgusting about it.” Erica sighs. “Boyd and I are holding hands and Lydia and Jackson are only lightly cuddling.”
“None of us are sucking face and feeding each other.” Jackson scowls.
“Well, what about Stiles and Derek?” Scott points at them in offence.
“Seriously?” Isaac chuckles. “They are only doing it to mock you two.”
“Yeah, the worst they do in front of us is the fact they can have a whole conversation without saying anything.” Erica rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, so suck my dick!” Stiles smirks.
“No, mine.” Derek huffs, gripping Stiles tighter.
“And that,” Lydia now chimes in.
“Do you really see the two of them all over each other like you guys are? Stiles usually lays on Lydia and me.” Jackson huffs.
“Or sits with me,” Isaac chimes in.
“Hell, he was with Isaac and me earlier.” Erica groans. “But then you two made us seriously uncomfortable and he did that.”
“Sorry,” Allison blushes. “We didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“You guys can be cute and adorable, just dial it back when you’re around us.” Stiles waves her off.
“It’s honestly disgustingly cute how you two still act that way even if you've been together for years.” Lydia flips her hair over her shoulder, hitting Jackson in the face in the process.
“Well, someone’s relationship has to be healthy around here.” Scott jokes, easing back.
“Please,” Erica snorts. “You two break up off and on so much.”
“Hey, we haven’t taken a break for almost a year now!” Allison points out.
“So? At least Boyd and I haven’t ever taken a break.” Erica says smugly, crossing her arms and looking over haughtily.
“But when you get mad, you get petty and vindictive.” Isaac chimes in. “And you can’t say I’m not right, I saw you flirting with someone when you two were fighting just to piss Boyd off.”
“He’s right,” Boyd wraps an arm around a pouting Erica.
“Well it can’t be Jackson and Lydia,” Scott scoffs.
“At least we're better than you.” Jackson shot back.
“Oh my god,” Lydia chimes in, gaining everyone’s attention. “How the hell are Derek and Stiles the healthiest relationship?”
“What?” Stiles said around a mouthful of Oreos, enjoying the show.
“It’s true, you two never break up.” Allison furrows her eyebrows.
“Whenever you fight, it doesn’t get petty at all,” Isaac adds on.
“And you’re both assholes, but can communicate easily.” Jackson looks confused.
“How the hell are the two most problematic the best at a relationship?” Scott looks at the two in question in wonder.
Stiles and Derek just look at each other, both shrugging and ready to drop it. But the pack doesn’t let them, no they keep trying to ask them what the secret is.
“Oh my god, it’s literally just about communicating.” Stiles finally gives in. “We talk everything out.”
“But Derek doesn’t like to talk.” Erica points out.
“He doesn’t have to?” Stiles looks at them all confused. “Can you not tell when your partner is uncomfortable?”
They all look between one another, trying to figure it out. Stiles sighs and leans back against Derek, wondering how these children survived in their relationships.
“Look, don’t get me wrong, we aren’t perfect. But that’s why we communicate. Both of us have had a shit run at life when it comes to people involved.” Stiles wants to drop it there but knows it won’t get left alone.
“Plus, we were friends first. So adding the romantic aspect was just another step.” Derek finally joins in.
“Oh,” Lydia blinks, getting a small smile on her face. “He’s right, we’re any of us really friends before we started dating?”
“I guess not,” Boyd hums.
“God, the slow burn really leads to healthy relationships.” Erica whines.
They all finally go quiet, letting Stiles get back to the movie. It’s practically over though, making him pout a bit. Stiles doesn’t let it get to him though, he’s seen it before. It just sucks because he wanted to watch everyone suffer through it.
“Alright, movies over. Go home.” Derek announces, Stiles laughing at all of their groans. It doesn’t take them long to file out, leaving Derek and Stiles alone.
“Sorry, should I leave too?” Stiles asks sarcastically.
“Fuck off and get your ass in bed.” Derek huffs, standing up and throwing Stiles on the other couch.
“Fuckin rude mate,” Stiles says in a fake Australian accent, leading Derek to shoot him with the nerf gun. “No fair! There’s only one.”
“Muffin,” Derek snorts. He moves to clean up the snacks lying around, Stiles just lounging in his spot and watching him work. “Stiles.”
“Yes?” Stiles blinks up at him innocently, not just watching his ass.
“Go to bed and pick a new movie.” Derek leans down and gives him a quick kiss before going into the kitchen.
“Don’t complain when I put on a Barbie movie again!” Stiles calls, heaving himself off the couch and going to Derek's room.
“I swear to god Stiles, if it’s Barbie again I will smack your ass,” Derek yells back.
“Ooh, kinky!” Stiles cackles. He gets to the room and flops on the bed, scrolling through Netflix. Derek comes in, looks at Stiles sprawled across the bed and lays on top of him, getting a laugh out of the younger man.
“Feeling spooky, funny, or just something dumb?” Stiles asks, ignoring the fact that Derek is crushing him.
“Dumb,” he mutters, nuzzling into Stiles’ neck.
“Cool,” Stiles flicks through until he lands on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. They lay like that, idly watching the show, mostly just enjoying each other's company.
“Hey, Der.” Stiles asks.
“No,” Derek mutters, finally rolling off Stiles.
“Awe, you don’t even know what I’m going to ask!” Stiles pouts, moving so he is draped over Derek now.
“That innocent tone usually means trouble for me. So, no.” Derek huffs.
“Even if it’s me asking to get a water gun for training tomorrow to shoot Scott?” Stiles peeks over Derek’s shoulder to watch the eyebrows furrow. Stiles smirks, knowing he’s won.
“Stop gloating,” Derek shoves Stiles off of him and leans over him, staring down.
“But you like it when I smile!” Stiles' laugh gets cut off when Derek kisses him.
“Yes, but not at my expense you brat.” Derek pulls back slightly.
“So can we pick one out tomorrow?” Stiles reaches up and wraps his arms around Derek's neck.
“Get one with a good range.” Derek rolls his eyes, leaning down and kissing Stiles again. Stiles can’t help the smile, even if it does ruin the kiss a little bit. He really loves this man.
Especially when it ends up with the two of them shooting the pack with water guns when they show up for training.