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Sprint of Shame

Summary:

It ended with them wearing each other's hats, Luffy pantless and Law coatless, their respective crews ready and waiting for their sprint of shame onto their ships.

Notes:

Just a tester on Law since I haven't written him before. I really love Luffy/Law, so I'm hoping to build up to an actual, proper story about it, so have this silly oneshot instead. It's Post-Dressrosa, which hasn't finished yet, so it's obviously AU, set at an indeterminable time in the future. Any criticisms and the like, don't hesitate to say!

Work Text:

“Oh, look. Isn’t that the Straw Hat’s ship?”

 

Penguin was terrible at feigning surprise, but Law didn’t have the heart to tell him, instead slanting an unreadable side-glance his way. His crewman was trying and failing to hide a grin, and Law now knew that there had been a reason as to why his crew had been so adamant in needing to dock at the closest island right now because submarine fever. He let out a quiet sigh.

 

The Thousand Sunny was docked into the bay their submarine was currently drifting towards at a rather lazy pace. It’d be a tight squeeze, cramming their submarine beside it – the bay was on the small side – but the awkward manoeuvring would be less hassle than directly docking at the town’s port. This island was known to have regular visits from Marines. It wasn’t a place that Law would have chosen for a supply run, but his crew had been insistent, and this all but clinched his suspicion that somehow, in some way, his crew was in cahoots with the Straw Hats to keep coordinating their meetings like this.

 

(This was like, what, the fourth ‘accidental’ meeting in two months? Once would be a coincidence, but four times was just plain suspicious)

 

“What a surprise. Who knew they’d be here?” Penguin continued, and, really, he needed to work on his acting skills. Law could feel the corners of his mouth twitch upwards, feeling a strange mix of annoyed fondness.

 

“Four times in two months,” Law said slowly, and he tilted his head slightly, seeing a figure standing on the deck of the Thousand Sunny. It looked like they were waving at them, although they were still too far away to discern their identity. “What are the chances?”

 


 

 

The person on the ship had been Brook. He had come to greet them on the bay proper, a tea cup in hand, with one of his usual jokes.

 

“I almost didn’t believe my eyes for a moment there until, well, until I remembered that I had none! Yohohoho!”

 

Brook’s jokes were one of the few things Law hadn’t missed about his time on the Thousand Sunny.

 

Bad humour aside, however, Brook was one of the most agreeable members of the Straw Hats so information was quite forthcoming on why they were docked at an island that was known to be frequently crawling with Marines. According to Brook, Nami had declared, while they had been en-route towards an island that was making her log pose go nuts, that they were in a sudden and dire need to resupply. The threat of low food stores had brought Luffy to heel with this, and so, they were docked at this island, leaving Brook and Zoro (who was currently napping on the Thousand Sunny to the surprise of no one) in charge of the ship while everyone else was released into the wild.

 

Not suspicious at all.

 

After that, the Heart Pirates were unleashed on the island, with the exception of Bepo who volunteered to hold down the fort. Normally Law would ask someone to stay with the bear, or stay himself, to keep him company, but Brook was perfectly happy to do so in his stead (in fact, he practically insisted that Law went ahead), and so, after confirming that this was fine with Bepo, Law wandered towards the nearby town at a more leisurely pace than the rest of his crew.

 

No matter how (privately) eager he was to meet up with the Straw Hats again, there was no real rush. Besides, there was something pleasing about stretching his legs on a long, relaxing walk after spending a solid week in the cramped quarters of the submarine. Although it was an impressive sea vessel in its own right, and Law would trade it for nothing in the world, it did make him miss the large, open deck of the Thousand Sunny, with its soft lawn and miniature gardens.

 

One could only do laps of the submarine’s small deck for so long before they were ready to throw themselves into the sea.

 


 

 

The island was a temperate one, so the walk from the bay to the town led Law through a dense woodblock, a dirt path his only guiding point. The heavy scent of pine was almost heady, and it was practically a relief when the trees tapered off into a wide field, long stalks of crops swaying in the gentle breeze. He could see some people – farmers, most likely – working in those fields, so he avoided them, travelling the dirt path until it became stone, and the small farmers’ houses became tall brick buildings of a town, cramped together in tight streets that reminded him, almost unpleasantly, of Dressrosa.

 

The people seemed friendly, but they gave Law a wide berth, their smiles nervous. He saw a few wanted posters on the walls as he walked past, absently noting that he saw both his faces and Luffy-ya’s on them, and entertained the idea of when the Marines would arrive, and in how much force. In fact, considering the Straw Hats had been here all morning already (it was already past midday), he was amazed that the town wasn’t on fire or destroyed yet.

 

Well, there was still time.

 

“Is that you, Traffy?”

 

A familiar, high pitched voice made him pause, and he turned to see the familiar, short form of Dr Tony Tony Chopper come trotting out of a small shop. His small backpack seemed full to bursting, and the reindeer looked positively cheerful, a spring in his step as he approached him. Law bent his head in a friendly greeting, long since resigned to the nickname that some of the Straw Hats persisted in using for him.

 

“Tony-ya. Nice seeing you.”

 

“What a coincidence! Did you need supplies too?” Chopper asked, and Law couldn’t help but scrutinise him a little. Either the reindeer was a better actor than Penguin, or Chopper was completely ignorant that the “coincidence” was such an obvious set up that it was bordering on ridiculous. Well, no matter.   

 

“Something like that. My crew were getting cabin fever.” Thinking on it, were all of them in on this little game? He didn’t know whether to be impressed that they managed to conceal it until after the third time they ‘conveniently’ bumped into the Straw Hats, or slightly miffed. “So I’ve let them loose on the town for a bit.”

 

Chopper made an understanding noise. “Oh! There’s a good bookstore not too far from here,” he said suddenly, and he pointed a hoof down the street, in the direction Law had been heading in earlier. “It has some medical texts I’ve never seen before. If you, ah, want…oh, wait…”

 

The reindeer seemed to realise something, and he waved his hoof in a vague gesture Law didn’t understand, his expression becoming shifty. “Well, um, anyway, it was nice meeting you! I just remembered, I need to let Zoro off…”

 

Law didn’t call Chopper out on his suddenly suspicious behaviour, instead nodding his head in a polite farewell. “I won’t keep you, Tony-ya.”

 

Chopper gave him an apologetic look, but cheerfully bade him goodbye, trotting off back towards the bay. He was swallowed up in the crowd almost instantly, and Law resumed his slow walk down the street, keeping an eye out for the bookstore Chopper mentioned. Expanding his medical repertoire was always something he was up for.

 

Of course, it wasn’t meant to be, because not even ten steps later he was suddenly tackled by what felt like a charging gorilla. It was only the loud yell of “TRAFFY” right in his ear (and briefly deafening him) that held him back from instinctively slicing up the assailant and sticking him back together like a potato man. The urge was still there, though.  

 

“Straw Hat-ya,” Law said with a calm he did not feel, clenching his jaw tight and his nodachi even tighter. Luffy’s rubbery limbs were wrapped around him like some sort of freakish octopus, and the nearby citizens were staring at them in open bewilderment and anxiety. Maybe he should slice him up, see how easily Luffy got around with arms for legs and a crotch for a head. “Get off me.”

 

“Didn’t expect to see you here, Traffy!” Luffy laughed (loudly) in his ear, predictably ignoring him. “Hey, are you- eh?!

 

Law thwacked him right in the forehead with his sword, and while it didn’t hurt the rubbery menace, it startled him enough to Law to successfully disentangle himself from the Straw Hat’s limbs. One shove later and Luffy was flat on his ass in the middle of the street, frowning up at him as if deeply betrayed. Law was unmoved.

 

“Straw Hat-ya, what did I say about jumping me?”

 

Luffy looked blank for a brief moment, but hurried into some form of action when Law’s eyes narrowed dangerously, lips already forming the beginnings of “Room”. “Ehhh, not to… do it…?”

 

Hmph. He’ll spare him. Besides, he’s in a good mood, possible ruptured ear drum aside.

 

Wordlessly, he turned away from Luffy and started walking. He heard the Straw Hat pirate scramble behind him, and a moment later, he was humming at his side, arms swinging and face cheerful. Law found a tension he didn’t know he carried ease out of his shoulders, grip loosening on his nodachi as Luffy’s terrible, off-key humming coaxed his lips to upturn into a smile. He promptly hid it into the tall collar of his coat, but from the corner of his eye, he could see Luffy grinning too.

 


 

 

The Marines’ timing was absolutely awful.

 

Body pieces were flying everywhere in various states of distress, innocent citizens were running away screaming, Luffy had lost his shorts and sandals back there in the confusion and Law had no idea where his coat had even gone. Somehow they managed to switch hats too, but in between fleeing from the Marines (Smoker’s gruff voice was a constant bark behind them), there wasn’t really much opportunity to sort it out.

 

“Why do I even listen to you?!” Law hissed, unsure whether to be mortified or furious at being caught with his pants down (literally!) by Smoker of all possible Marines again! Why was it always him?! Didn’t this man have a hobby that wasn’t being the biggest cockblocker alive?!

 

“Shishishi!” Of course, Luffy was laughing – the stupid lunatic – his bare feet slapping the ground with one hand clutching at Law’s hat clumsily crammed on his head. The thick bill of it was threatening to fall into the rubberman’s eyes, which was all they needed, a blind Luffy running amok without any pants. “Come on, Traffy, this is fun, right?! Smokey’s face! His face! Did you see it?!”

 

He wouldn’t call being walked in on by the Marines ‘fun’, but, okay, whatever, fine, Law isn’t a man to judge someone on their freakish tastes.

 

“I’m putting your dick on your head after this!” Law snarled, reaching out to grab Luffy around the waist just as the faintest whiff of smoke reached his nose. They were on the edge of the town now, the sprawling crop fields before them. He dug his fingers so tightly into the Straw Hat’s waist that if he wasn’t made of rubber, he was sure it would’ve bruised – hoped it bruised, the inconsiderate- “ROOM!”

 

A confusing split second and they switched places with a scarecrow four hundred metres away. He was pushing the boundary of his powers with making it so large, and when his feet hit the ground, long stalks tickling at the bare skin of his torso, he was actually winded for a few quick moments. But Luffy hauled him forwards, and a quick hop over the fence and they were in the woods, the thick press of tress muffling the shouts of the Marines behind them.

 


 

 

Predictably, by the time they reached the bay their respective crews were ready and waiting for their captains to do their sprint of shame. Hats were hurriedly shoved at each other, Law smacked Luffy around the head and promised that next time he was going to switch his arms and legs around before Straw Hat completely ignored his threats and dragged him into a cheeky kiss (someone wolfwhistled). The urge to fuck him briefly eclipsed the urge to messily murder him.

 

He fucking hated Straw Hat-ya.

 

He absolutely fucking loved Straw Hat-ya.

 

It was a complicated. He didn’t know.

 

But the kiss ended, and the urge to fuck him remained but went unsatisfied, because Luffy ran to the Thousand Sunny, pantless, his precious straw hat clutched in his hand, to the jeering and shouting of his precious crew. Law’s gaze lingered for only a moment before he went to his own ship, Bepo hauling his ass onto the deck and bundling him inside, the submarine already pulling out of the bay at top speed.

 

And that was that.  

 


 

 

Three weeks later, when Law was standing on the deck of his submarine, squinting against the glare of the sun, he could see a familiar ship making its way towards the same island as them. The Thousand Sunny proudly cut through the waves, and he sighed to himself, just as behind him, he heard Penguin say;

 

“Oh, look. Isn’t that the Straw Hat’s ship?”

 

And so, for the fifth time…