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Just because he was expecting Lance’s anger didn’t mean it was any easier to deal with.
“What the hell was that, Kogane?” he demanded, furious.
Damn. He couldn’t even wait for Keith to get down the ramp — the second he was visible from Black’s hatch, Lance jumped right in.
“You left us vulnerable! You ditched, and you fucking promised you wouldn’t!”
Keith grit his teeth. “I had something more important to check out, Lance,” he said shortly.
He grimaced internally as soon as the words left his mouth. He probably could have gone without the adjective.
To his great shock, Lance didn’t explode about priorities and how Keith has his all fucked up. He didn’t yell about Keith’s complete lack of communication skills, he didn’t angrily remind Keith that he was no longer able to play the lone wolf. That he had a team to lead.
Instead, he took a step back. It almost looked involuntary, like his body wanted to get the hell away from Keith before his brain could even approve the movement.
“‘More important’?” he asked quietly. “Abandoning us to try and fight a Robeast alone — that was a necessity? Running after Lotor in a wild goose chase specifically invented to frustrate and distract you was more important than fighting with your team? Making sure we were safe?”
The worst part was Lance’s voice — he didn’t sound angry. He didn’t even sound shocked, anymore. He sounded betrayed, but resigned about it. Like he had looked into Keith’s mind and seen — what? Why did Lance look like his worst fears had been confirmed?
“That — that was a poor choice of words,” Keith said carefully.
Lance raised a brow, mocking. “Oh, please go on then. Use another set of words to explain why we aren’t good enough for your backup.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Keith responded, incensed. Is that what Lance thought? “Is that really what you think of me? Some emotionless asshole who could watch his teammates die and not bat an eye?”
The hurt expression hadn’t dropped from Lance’s face, but it was twisted into something angry, now. Something shaking; furious and hurt and accusatory.
“I don’t think of that of you. Well, I didn’t .”
Keith reared back, shocked. He had accused Lance of thinking that… but never in his worst nightmares did he think that Lance would genuinely believe that about him. He and Lance… they had spent hours together, talking and confiding in each other. He knew Lance’s worst insecurities, his terror of being replaced, being forgotten. And in return, Lance knew all of Keith’s baggage. He knew that Keith had grown up with people consistently and baselessly assuming he was some callous, heartless monster, incapable of love, and how Keith had begun to convince himself that it was true. Lance had been the one to reassure him, his earnest claims of Keith’s concealed softness reassuring Keith on his worst days. Lance was always to one to check on him after tough days, the one to remind him that he loved and was loved.
But now, for Lance to denounce that, to spit on everything he’d said… Keith doesn’t think he’s felt hurt this potent before. Not even when they lost Shiro, did he feel this empty. This betrayed .
“And I don’t want to think this of you, because deep down I don’t believe it,” Lance continued. His chin trembled, and moisture began to gather in his eyes. Keith felt his own heartbreak reflected in those brown irises. “Because I know you. I know the Keith that sat with me when I was getting over the pain of Allura’s rejection, the Keith who reassured me every time I doubted that I was a valuable part of this team. The Keith who helped me get out of bed when I wanted to give up. The Keith who checked on me and knew something was wrong when everyone else thought I was fine. I know you. You are brave and caring and you love with your whole heart.” The tears finally fell from Lance’s eyes, and Keith felt his own tears drip down his face.
“I love you, Keith. I’m in love with you. With the man who cares about his family more than anything else in the universe. Which is why I’m so confused —“ he choked on a sob — “I’m so lost, Keith! This isn’t like you! I don’t understand why you’re forcing yourself to be distant, why you’re acting like we aren’t important to you anymore. Is Lotor really worth this? Is Lotor worth abandoning your family?”
Lance sniffled, pressing his hands to his face, and Keith cracked. He pulled Lance into his arms, unwilling to have this distance between them. Lance went willingly, burying his face in Keith’s chest.
“I’m so sorry,” Keith choked out. “I’ve been… struggling, again, with Shiro’s disappearance. And Lotor’s taunting isn’t helping. I let it get to me. I let him get to me, let his bullshit and my own anger cloud my vision. You guys are my family, Lance; you’re my family. You are my home . And I haven’t been acting like someone you all deserve. Someone that you deserve, Sharpshooter.” He pulled away slightly, tilting Lance’s chin up so he could meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I’ll be more careful from now on. I’ll stick with you guys, communicate better again. I’m sorry we had to get to this point for me to get my head out of my ass.” Lance let out a wet laugh, and circled his fingers around Keith’s hands, that were cupping his face.
“I accept your apology,” he whispered, “but I’m not the only one you need to apologise to.”
Keith exhaled slowly, nodding. A smile turned up the corners of his lips. “I will. There’s something more important I have to do first, though,” he hedged.
Lance raised a brow. “All that talk about prioritizing, and there’s still something you have held in spot number one?”
Keith grinned wider. “It’s a new thing, actually.” Lance tilted his head, indicating for him to continue. “You see, there’s this guy I like,” he said. His tone was light, conversational, but there was a wicked gleam in his eyes. Lance’s brow furrowed, confused at what seemed to be a completely random subject change, but then it dawned on him. He own words came crashing back to him, and his eyes widened.
“Oh my God, I told you I was in love with you,” he rushed out, reddening. Keith threw his head back and laughed. “Keith! Don’t laugh!” Lance admonished, slapping lightly at his chest and trying to pull away. Keith moved to loop his arms around Lance’s waist, tightening his grip. He bent his head back town, pressing it to Lance’s forehead.
“I’m in love with you, too,” he whispered. Lance moved his hands up to Keith’s neck, tangling his fingers into the hair at the base of his head.
“Well, then, Samurai,” he whispered back, “what are you waiting for?”
Keith wasted no time, pressing his lips gently to Lance’s.
They still had more work to do. Keith needed to earn back Lance’s trust; the trust of his whole team, really. Lance had to learn to work with him again.
But for now, they kissed, and they held each other, and everything else could wait.