Archive of Our Own

He drags the dead body over the floor with such perfect violent movements, it makes Dazai´s insides turn. He watches how Chuuya heaves the old business man onto another pile of useless, dead bodies, leaving them there to rot like they deserve after living such a pathetic life – it´s beautiful. Sometimes Dazai wishes that he would be one of those bodies, killed by Chuuya´s bare hands, finally finding relieve.

“Are you done staring at me, asshole?”, the redhead groans, lifting yet another lifeless body from the ground. “We have a job to finish.”

“I can´t help it! You look absolutely stunning killing those idiots with your beautiful hands”, Dazai pouts, his lips forming into a grin. “I´m jealous, you know? Those guys get to be shot and strangled by your hands – why can´t I be in their place?”, he whines. 

Chuuya sighs, dropping the seemingly pretty old man onto the pile and wiping the blood on his black leather pants. What a shame to get his pants dirty with the blood of someone so unimportant – it should have been his blood instead. “Dazai, you know why you can´t just die. Now help me dispose those shitheads and then we can leave.”

Dazai lets his shoulders drop but grabs the arm of another dead business man and heaves him to the corner of the room. There is no point in arguing with Chuuya – not when he is clearly right.

Earlier today, Mori send them on a mission to get a device with important information on it from a big company on the other side of Yokohama. Of course, Dazai was noisy enough to attract the attention of a whole fucking business meeting when they snuck in. Well, long story short, they had to kill all of them in order not to get in more trouble and now they have to dispose the dead bodies of a whole meeting of disgusting old business men.

Dazai secretly wonders how empty their lifes were when he inspects one of the distorted faces. Most of them probably had a family, even kids, but how could Dazai care? He grew up with this – he wanted this. He wanted violence and he wanted to live this life full of darkness. He can only try to imagine what it is like to have a family and a normal job, yet alone the thought of it makes him shudder-

“Alright, we´re done here”, Chuuya sighs, wiping some blood and sweat from his forehead. He looks messy, exhausted even, but that doesn´t bother Dazai in any way. Beautiful is all he can think about when he sees Chuuya.

“I don´t want to go back yet”, Dazai protests.

“Huh?”

“Why don´t we go somewhere and relax for the rest of the night? It´s too late to go to sleep anyways and we have the day off tomorrow.”

Chuuya´s lips curve into a smile. “I´m in.”

“Come with me. I know where we can go”, Dazai states happily. He grabs Chuuya´s wrist and drags him through the door, way too eager for someone who just witnessed a whole mass murder. Chuuya couldn´t care less though. He is inwardly glad that Dazai suggested spending the rest of the night together. He doesn´t like being alone after rough nights like these. It makes his thoughts wander in directions he doesn´t want them to go and Dazai seems to be the only person he can trust enough to spend those difficult hours with him.

Meanwhile, the brunet drags him up the staircase until they arrive at a metal door that is obviously locked. Dazai rummages through the pockets of his long black coat and pulls put a tiny metal tool, probably self-made. His skilled fingers insert the tool into the keyhole and it doesn´t take more than ten seconds until the door is unlocked.

Dazai makes a weird gesture with his hands, trying to signalise Chuuya to go through the door first. “Lady´s first”, he coos, obviously trying to hold back a laugh. Chuuya rolls his eyes and for a short moment, he thinks about punching his partner right in the face. Then he remembers how much days like these put a strain on his nerves too, so he simply goes through the door.

Apparently, Dazai led them to the rooftop of the skyscraper. It´s one of the highest buildings in Yokohama and it makes a beautiful view over the whole city and the ocean on the horizon. It´s still mostly dark outside though, which makes it difficult to walk without tripping, but before Chuuya can think any further, Dazai has already grabbed his hands to drag him to the edge of the rooftop. They sit down and Dazai pulls out a tiny box from the other pocket of his coat.

“Whoa, those cigarettes are fucking expensive”, Chuuya blurts out, his eyes widening at the smiling Dazai in front of him.

“I swiped them off of one of the guys earlier”, he proudly explains, handing Chuuya a cigarette and lighting it for him. The redhead sighs when the first drag of the expensive cigarette hits his lungs. It burns slightly with the intensity of the tobacco, but it is still so so good.

For a while, there is nothing but silence between him and Dazai. It is not uncomfortable though, more likely a silence to process what they have just witnessed while smoking in peace. Chuuya wonders if moments like these have the same effect on Dazai as they have on him. He feels relived after such acts of violence, yet some part of him wants to think about the family those people had, about their dreams and about their life. He shouldn´t be thinking about that and he knows because he is one of the bad guys. Maybe he does because he always wanted something like a family, people he could trust, but all they did was disappoint him.

Not Dazai though. He has always been on Chuuya´s side – no matter how damaged his body looked like after using corruption, how brutally he killed people or how he had several breakdowns in front of Dazai – he was and still is always there.

“Don´t think too much, you´re going to fry your braincells one day”, he hears Dazai´s voice right next to him.

Chuuya smiles, taking another drag of his cigarette. This is exactly what he means – Dazai is there for him, he knows that he thinks too much and he knows that he tends to get stuck in his thoughts.

 “I was just wondering how you feel after those days”, the redhead mutters.

Dazai sighs, takes a drag of his own cigarette and then turns to Chuuya. “I chose this life. I could be one of the good guys if I wanted to, but I didn´t.”

“Yeah, but how can you find happiness in a place where there is none?” There is silence again.

“I´m not happy, Chuuya”, Dazai says, his voice a little flatter now. “I will never be happy, no matter if I´m on the good side or the bad side. In fact, I don´t see any point in good and bad sides anyways. I don´t believe that a human being can be good. We tend to believe that we can be good out of our own selfishness but in reality, we can´t be. So it doesn´t matter on which side I´m on.”

Chuuya already expected this answer from his partner. After all, this is Dazai Osamu and not just anyone. But he understands his point in some strange ways. No matter how good someone tries to be, at the end of the day, most of their actions were out of selfishness. It´s simple human nature, Chuuya already knew that ever since he joined the Port Mafia, but a part of him still believes that there are very few good people existing in this world.

“And I personally don´t believe that there are any good looking, hot good guys that can kill a whole business meeting with their bare hands”, the brunet grins.

Chuuya can´t help but laughs at that too. “Yeah, probably.”

Then, there is silence again. Chuuya takes another drag, inspecting the way Dazai does the same.

“Do you think we´ll ever going to be happy in this life?”, he can´t help but ask. He isn´t sure if he wants to hear another pessimistic monologue of Dazai´s dark past and his suicidal intentions, yet his thoughts are still interesting to him.

The brunet sighs, chewing on his already chapped lips before answering. “I don´t think so. I don´t think I have the capability of feeling happiness. Everything is just- just so dark out here. And I don´t mean the sky or the city or anything like that, I mean the directions my thoughts go”, he explains. Dazai´s face is slightly twisted in pain, something he would only allow Chuuya to see. “But what do you think?”

“I don´t know, honestly. I still believe that there is a chance for people like us”, Chuuya answers, turning his gaze towards the sea again. “Maybe I only think like this because I really want it to happen. But I´m sure that we will find out happiness someday, whether it be in the Mafia or not.”

Dazai looks at Chuuya, inspecting his features all over again. The sun is already rising, dipping Chuuya´s skin into golden light. His clothes are stained with blood, his arms are scarred from corruption and he looks clearly exhausted with darks shadows under his eyes – yet the only thing Dazai can think about is beautiful. He doesn´t know where his partner takes the strength to still have hope for a good life after everything that happened to him, but Dazai admires that part the most about him. He wishes that his brain could work the same, that he can have a few positive thoughts for at least a while – but it doesn´t work, no matter how hard he tries to see anything good about the fact that he is still alive.

There is only one thing, one thing that somehow lets him feel an emotion close to happiness. It´s not that much, only a small spark in the base of his stomach that makes his heart flutter and his chest tingle slightly, but it´s there.

The thing – or more likely the person – he is talking about is Chuuya.

“You look so beautiful tonight”, he says, never breaking eye contact with him. He watches how Chuuya´s pupils dilate and how he clearly needs some time to process his words. He can´t blame him though, not after such a long day, and then, his lips finally warp into that small smile Dazai adores that much. He also notices the slight blush over his cheeks, making Chuuya appear combined with the warm sunlight like a soft, lovely creature, totally different from his usual aggressive state.

Chuuya extinguishes the cigarette butt and turns back to Dazai, who is still intensely staring at him. It makes his heart flutter slightly too – knowing that there is someone that still likes to stare at him after such a brutal act.

“You might as well kiss me if you stare at me like that”, Chuuya laughs, leaning closer to Dazai until their noses touch. Their conversation remains unfinished, but neither of them cares right now – not when they have the chance to forget everything for a few seconds.

And that is when Dazai finally closes his eyes and pulls his partner into a gentle kiss. It starts out slowly and sweet at first – Dazai´s chapped lips gliding over Chuuya´s soft ones, nipping at his lips from time to time. Chuuya enjoys the slow build up just as much as Dazai does because it makes his stomach tingle like crazy.

Then, the kiss finally deepens with Chuuya bringing his hands up to Dazai´s jaw to guide their lips closer together in that specific angle he loves so much.  He lets out a satisfied sigh while Dazai wraps his arms around his neck. The brunet smiles against his lips, gently letting his tongue graze Chuuya´s bottom lip. The other opens his mouth and lets his tongue rub against Dazai´s, which is enough to make him groan in the back of his throat.

They keep kissing until both of them are panting with their cheeks flushed slightly red, then Dazai pushes Chuuya on the hard ground. It´s thrilling to be on the edge of the rooftop, only a few meters away from the seemingly endless abyss, but Chuuya doesn´t dare to look down. Not when there´s a pair of chocolate brown eyes directly staring at him.

“How about I´ll help you relax after such an exhausting mission? You look like you need it”, he suggests. Chuuya smiles contentedly, letting himself be handled by his taller partner.

“I like that idea”, he sighs when Dazai starts undoing the buttons of his blood-stained shirt and vest and strips them off his body. He gives Chuuya, who only remains in his black slacks, a satisfied look before stripping them too.

“This is even better than the view”, Dazai murmurs in Chuuya´s ear, letting his lips slightly graze the sensitive skin there. He listens to the quiet gasp Chuuya lets out, taking this as a sign to go further down his neck, leaving feather light kisses everywhere and sucking at the spot right behind the redhead´s ear. It makes him squirm under Dazai´s weight, leaving him burning with the desire to get more.

More of that sizzling feeling in his stomach, more of the white-hot pleasure pulsating through his veins- more of Dazai.

Chuuya brings his arms up to Dazai´s neck, pulling him into a wanting kiss again. His tongue slips into the other´s mouth, rubbing in just the right places to make another groan leave his lips.

The taller man smirks into the kiss and fuck-

That´s what makes Chuuya crumble in Dazai´s hands, letting him devour him in any way he wants. He moans into the kiss, enjoying the slow build up and the slick sounds of their lips.

Dazai breaks the kiss apart first, letting his gaze wander over the smaller man lying under him. Chuuya´s cheeks are flushed pink, his lips are still slightly parted and swollen from the kiss and above all, he looks already messy.

“How about I fuck your stupid little brain out so you won´t think too much, huh?”, Dazai teases him, gently caressing the other´s bottom lip with his thumb.

Chuuya lets out a huff, yet his eyes say otherwise. “Why do I have to be on the bottom again?”, he asks. For a moment, Dazai only looks at him with a satisfied expression written all across his face and Chuuya wishes that he would just do something already.

He secretly enjoys being overpowered by Dazai, letting himself be handled and cared afterwards, completely able to lose control and let go of everything for a few moments and Dazai knows that. He´s just playing his game, trying to get the words out of Chuuya, but he would rather jump from that building than admit that he likes to be controlled.

“Oh come on, I know you like it”, Dazai grins while removing his shirt and vest too. “You just have to say it and I´m going to give you everything you want.”

So that´s what Dazai wants from him tonight.

Chuuya swallows around the lump in his throat. The desire to withstand the idea is strong and his pride simply won´t allow him to say those things out loud – but he wants to. No, he needs to.

“What´s wrong? You´re usually so loud”, the brunet says, caressing the other´s jaw before gently guiding his face to look him directly in the eyes.

“I-“, Chuuya starts, but the words get stuck in his throat. His cheeks start to burn with embarrassment, making everything even more exciting. His gaze wanders away from Dazai´s glowing eyes, but his hands are quick enough to guide them back again.

“Try again.”

“I- Dazai, please-“, Chuuya chokes out, biting his lip in humiliation. It´s frustrating, but still so exciting and so good. It´s enough for Dazai to gently stroke his sides, sending shivers all over his body. The redhead squirms under Dazai´s touch – it´s too much all at once but still not enough. His skin practically burns under his partner´s fingers and his breath hitches every time Dazai touches a sensitive area –

“Ugh, fuck- “, Chuuya whimpers when Dazai pinches one of his nipples. “Dazai, I can´t-“

“Don´t worry, I´ll help you say it”, the brunet whispers in his ear, making the other squirm even more. He continues to rub and pinch his nipples, twisting the cool metal bar pierced through them. Dazai knows it´s one of his favourite spots – which is why Chuuya got them pierced about a year ago. It makes his back arch in obscene ways, head thrown back and mouth parted around a never-ending gasp.

Finally, Dazai brings his mouth down to lick and suck at one of the hardened nubs and Chuuya´s composure breaks-

“Dazai- please, please, please”, he moans, trying to get more friction between his legs. The brunet smirks against his chest, letting go of his nipples with a silent pop.

“What do you need, love?”

“Just touch me already”, Chuuya pleads, trying to prop himself up on his elbows. “Asshole…”, he adds.

“I´ve got you”, Dazai says with a satisfied smile, bringing his partner up into another kiss. It´s deeper and slower this time, but so much more desperate. After the kiss, Chuuya practically clings to Dazai, still lingering in the humiliation and the fall of his pride.

Dazai strips off both of their boxers and for a moment, he forgets that they are literally on the rooftop of a skyscraper, completely exposed to the whole city. He stills for a moment, admiring the early morning sun and then the sight beneath him. “Are we going to get started or do you suddenly regret bringing me up here?”, Chuuya says, raising an eyebrow. Just now, the brunet notices that this might be the reason why Chuuya struggled so much to let down his guard. They are still in public and he probably feels like he has to keep composure in case someone is attacking them – so his brain is basically still in fight mode.

“I don´t care. No one´s going to see us and even if – what are they going to do? We are from the fucking mafia, it doesn´t matter if we shot 20 or 21 bodies today”, Dazai reassures Chuuya. “Just relax, I´m going to take care of everything now. No one´s going to see you like this”, he adds and the redhead finally relaxes in his arms. Dazai was right, Chuuya was kind of tense because they really could end up being caught completely naked, fucking on the rooftop of a building. But now that Dazai promised him to take care of everything, he feels lighter in the chest- and the words made his stomach tingle.

The brunet lets his hands slide further down until he reaches Chuuya´s dick, already hard and leaking with pre-cum in his hands. He gives him a few slow, dry strokes, forcing a cute moan to leave the redhead´s lips.

His hands trails down further and when his fingers gently graze Chuuya´s rim, he twitches underneath him. Dazai brings his fingers up again, holding them in front of Chuuya´s mouth.

“We don´t have lube up here, you know what to do”, he explains and his partner nods, taking two of his fingers into his mouth to coat them with as much salvia as possible. He lets his tongue swirl around them, pretending that it´s Dazai´s dick in his mouth. The brunet lets out a content sigh at that, enjoying the view and the warm and wet feeling around his fingers.

He finally pulls them out and spreads the redhead´s legs apart. Chuuya gasps at the sudden coolness and the exposing position he is currently in, but as soon as Dazai´s fingers circle his rim, his thighs spread even wider.

Of course, Dazai has no intentions in going easy on Chuuya today. If he really wants him to forget everything for a brief moment, he has to get him that desperate and worked up that the only thing he can think about is his dick. He slides his fingers past Chuuya´s rim, figuring that they are not wet enough to make it painless, so he pulls one of Chuuya´s legs above his shoulders and bends down to-

“Hey, don´t do this when we´re literally on a fucking rooftop!”, the redhead groans.

“But Chuuya, we don´t have lube and it will hurt otherwise”, Dazai explains once again. “Just enjoy it, no one´s going to come up here.”

Before Chuuya can react in any ways, Dazai has already lowered his face again so he can easily give the other´s rim a small lick. Chuuya´s head falls back again, a strangled moan leaving his lips. And there goes his composure and the ability to think logical thoughts. They shouldn´t be doing this outside, it´s such an intimate thing, but when Dazai has already started doing this thing, he might as well finish what he started. “F-Fine, but hurry up.”

Dazai smiles at him, lowering his head again to continue licking his rim with small movements of his tongue. Meanwhile, Chuuya is loudly panting, trying to somehow not end up being too loud. The chances of getting caught are low, but not zero.

When Dazai is satisfied with this work, he pushes his tongue a little deeper inside, making sure to rub his tongue against all the sensitive spots. The sounds Chuuya lets out make his insides burn with primal desire and he can´t help but slightly touch himself too, slowly stroking his dick with his free hands. That goes on until Chuuya decides that he has enough, blindly reaching for Dazai´s hand to guide it to his ass, all while still moaning and panting above him.

“E-Enough, give me the real thing”, he breathes.

The brunet only clicks his tongue and shakes his head, but at least he grants Chuuya the satisfaction of his fingers. He finally slips two of them in, watching how his partner arches his back even further and his head falls back against the ground.

With all the foreplay they have done, his fingers slip in easily. The stretch burns slightly, but the redhead loves every single sting it causes. He tries to push back further, to get his fingers deeper, but all he gets is an apologetic kiss on his left ass cheek.

“Sorry love, but I´m going to decide when it´s enough today”, the taller man smiles. Along with the nickname, Chuuya can only take what´s given to him because he knows that there is no point in arguing with Dazai, not when he already practically submitted to him. And besides, does he even want to be in control right now? He knows Dazai will give him everything he wants, he just has to be patient for a little while longer.

After a moment of adjusting, the brunet moves his fingers in a slow pace, slightly dragging them against the rim before pushing them inside as deep as they could possibly go. Chuuya lets out an obscene sound at that, which sends sparks through Dazai´s whole body. He doesn´t feel alive very often, but right now he does. All because of his lovely Chuuya.

He moves his fingers faster, setting a steady pace while making sure that he hits his partner´s favourite spot with every thrust. It makes Chuuya whimper and arch into Dazai´s touch, inwardly asking for more and more.

When Dazai notices that his legs start shaking slightly and his moans grow a little too loud, he pulls his fingers out.

“Wha- hey, don´t stop now, bastard!”, Chuuya whines, trying to grab the other´s wrist and bring it back.

“Nuh-uh, be patient and I´ll give you what you asked for”, he teases, pulling his wrist back. The smaller man slumps back again, spreading his legs over Dazai´s thighs, who is kneeling in front of him.

“That´s it, you´re so precious like this”, Dazai praises, rubbing small circles in the soft flesh on the inside of Chuuya´s thighs. The other only groans, impatiently wiggling his hips to get what is right in front of him and that´s exactly what Dazai does.

He positions himself in front of Chuuya, teasing his rim with the tip of his dick. It doesn´t take long until the redhead suddenly decides to push back on his own, forcing a low surprised moan out of Dazai and himself.

“You really couldn´t wait, could you?”, Dazai breathily chuckles. Chuuya moans in response, pushing back further against him until his dick is completely inside of him.

“W-Wait, don´t move”, Chuuya gasps, grasping Dazai´s wrist for some kind of support. “I need a second.”

The brunet nods, interlacing his hand with his partner´s shaky one. He takes a closer look at Chuuya, how is eyes are half-lidded and his cheeks slightly flushed, how his chest rises and sinks with heavy breaths and how a few desperate sounds leave his lips. He´s beautiful, ethereal even, Dazai would say.

After a brief moment, he feels his partner relaxing under his touch and then, he finally pushes himself back again with a needy moan.

Dazai sees that as a sigh to finally move, holding onto Chuuya´s hips for support. The tight and warm feeling around his dick makes Dazai groan with every slow thrust and he can feel Chuuya´s moans vibrating through his whole body. The redhead has no shame in letting out the obscenest sounds Dazai has ever heard. He is loud, his voice higher and raspier than usual, but he loves every single second of that. If he could, he would imprint those sounds somewhere in his brain and replay them every time a meeting gets to boring or he is stuck alone in his own apartment at night.

“F-Faster, fuck!”, Chuuya´s voice brings him back into reality and right now, he has no other choice but to obey his wish.

Chuuya moans even louder at the change of pace, twitching and squirming in front of Dazai. The redhead lets his own hands wander across his upper body, stopping at his nipples to pinch and rub them again, just like Dazai did a few moments ago. He pulls on the metal bars and Dazai needs to gather all of his remaining strength not to cum right away because shit – Chuuya gets incredibly tight around him with every pull on his piercings. The sight alone makes Dazai´s mind spin and he feels like he lost touch with reality himself.

Chuuya doesn´t look any better, desperately trying to get more and more of Dazai. It doesn´t take long until he feels the familiar tingling feeling in his lower stomach and probably the hitch in his breath gave it away to the brunet, because he slows down slightly, forcing Chuuya´s eyes to open again.

“Wha-“

“Say it”, the brunet demands. Dazai loves slightly humiliating Chuuya with making him say what he wants. It sends a dirty thrill down his spine and it´s probably enough to get him to the end too.

“I- please, Dazai”, he chokes out, scratching the brunet´s upper arms, the humiliation turning his cheeks even redder.

A particular hard thrust right against his prostate has him crying out, finally letting go of every string of sanity that is left.

“Please, make me cum”, Chuuya moans, head falling back again and back arching at the pace Dazai sets up.

The taller man chuckles breathily, the words throwing him that much closer to the edge of a wonderful abyss of pleasure and he is totally willing to let himself fall right into it.

“See, that wasn´t so hard”, Dazai groans. His composure is slowly crumbling and he is dangerously close, so close that he can barely think clearly.

“Please, please, please-“, is the only response he gets, so he gently pulls on the piercing with his free hand while the other holds onto his wrist for dear life.

“I´m so close”, Chuuya whimpers, and that´s all it takes for Dazai.

He cums deep inside Chuuya with a loud moan and it feels like for a moment, the only thing existing in this world is him and Chuuya in front of him. Through his haze, he only faintly hears Chuuya cry out while he cums all over his stomach, untouched.

Dazai tries to get both of them through their orgasms, slowly riding them out with deep thrusts while all he can hear are Chuuya´s ecstatic cries of pleasure and feel the warmth of skin against skin.

After a few blissful moments, he slumps forward against Chuuya, who is still panting violently, trying to regain his breath.

Dazai gently wipes away a few tears that must have escaped when he came and then, he kisses him deeply to give him some sort of comfort after such an orgasm.

Slowly, Chuuya opens his eyes and pulls Dazai into a gently hug. He feels much better now, peaceful he would even say. There are only him and Dazai, laying on the rooftop while the warm morning sun shines on their naked bodies. It´s beautiful in its own ways, and that´s exactly what he likes about it. For a few minutes, they only lay there, sharing a few lazy kisses and feeling the body of the other against their own.

“You want a cigarette?”, Dazai asks, but it comes out muffled since his face is pressed against Chuuya´s neck.

The redhead hums, too tired to properly speak.

Dazai helps him up and then tries to clean the mess on both of their stomach with a few paper tissues he found in his pockets. Then, he hands Chuuya his clean shirt and his boxers.

They sit on the edge of the rooftop, the city already coming to life underneath them. They don´t know how much time has passed, but they don´t care, because it´s not important in that moment.

Dazai lights Chuuya´s cigarette and then his own, slowly taking another drag of the expensive tobacco.

“That was a good one”, he hums, lightly caressing Chuuya´s jaw until he rests his head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, it was”, he nods happily. “I fucking love you.”

Dazai smiles. And for a moment, the world looked at least a little brighter.

“I love you too, Chuuya.”