Archive of Our Own

Bran’s eighteenth birthday was surprisingly normal. He had invited some school friends, some family friends and, of course, his siblings and their respective partners. Everyone enjoyed the party and the delicious drinks that were offered. And… Well, maybe some of them enjoyed the drinks a little too much.

When the party finally ended, all of the Starks were exhausted, as it was almost one in the morning. So, when the last guest finally made their way out, the family collectively collapsed in the living room, not caring whether it was on the actual couch or on the dirty carpet.

Robb, Theon, Jon and Ygritte laid down, clearly drunk, in front of the sofa while Bran, Jojen, Rickon and Sansa fought for space in the cushions above them. Arya, Gendry, Ned and Catelyn wouldn't dare to go near the pile of intoxicated young adults, so they made their way towards the other side of the living room.

Once they settled, Ned took a look around. “I honestly don't know if I am disappointed in them or if I am happy, because those are definitely my children.”

“We could use this time to actually have a family bonding moment…” Cat said, slowly and slightly out of it.

Jon lifted his head only enough to look his stepmother in the eyes. “Mom, I think we’re all too drunk for that.”

When he laid his head back down, his wife grunted in agreement and rested her head on his chest. Next to them, Theon uttered. “But that’s what makes it the perfect moment, I guess.”

“Darling, don't give them ideas.” Robb said, stumbling over his own words.

“He’s got a point though.” Arya said. “We’re going to be honest with each other, at least.”

“So… Never have I ever?” Rickon suggested. 

“We’re not twelve, Rickon.” Jojen said.

“But it can be fun… Everyone has little to no inhibition right now.” Bran pointed out.

“Never have I ever it is, then.” Ygritte agreed, sitting up.

The ones that were already on the ground just followed her motion and the ones on the couch got down. Now the twelve of them sat on a circle on the carpet. They looked at each other in awkward silence, no one wanting to be the one to start the potentially weird interaction.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I’ll start.” Theon said. “Never have I ever lied to my parents about where I was going to be.”

Everyone drank. Except for Gendry. Arya looked at him in utter amazement. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No, I’m not. Robert just never cared enough, I guess.” He huffed a laugh. The kids laughed at the worrying joke while the adults looked horrified.

“Don't look so shocked, we all knew Robert didn’t care.” Arya said, looking at her father at the opposite side of the circle.

“Anyway… I’m next.” Robb said. “Never have I ever been arrested.”

Not surprisingly, no one drank.

“Oh, thank god.” Catelyn said, relieved.

It was now Jon’s turn and so he spoke up. “Never have I ever–”

“Wait.” Ygritte interrupted him, holding her laughter. “Can you do something for me, honey? To spice this up a little.”

“What?” He asked, seemingly afraid. She was definitely up to something.

She whispered something to him and a grin was instantly implanted in his lips. He looked at his siblings with his eyes sparkling in mischief. “Never have I ever been handcuffed.”

Robb and Theon slowly raised their glasses to their lips. Greyjoy looked at his boyfriend smirking before remembering about his father-in-law’s presence.

Ned’s eyes widened. “What?” He asked carefully.

“I would, but your father’s boring.” A clearly altered Cat said.

“What?!” Her husband repeated, this time even more stunned. Some of her children didn't seem too horrified, but the way Sansa looked at her mother was absolutely painful to watch.

“I cannot believe I agree with my mom in a context like this.” Bran said.

“What?” It was Jojen’s turn. “I didn't know you’d like that…”

“I didn't know you’d do that…” They looked at each other, considering.

“Let’s– Let's change the subject. Ygritte, your turn.” Robb said, not wanting the interchange to continue any longer.

“Never have I ever received a lap dance.” She said, looking at her husband.

“Really, Ygritte? Really?” Jon consumed the rest of his whisky as he finished talking. Theon also took a sip, for no one’s surprise.

When they were already moving on to the next round, the youngest brother quietly drank some of the liquid. If it wasn't for Arya, he would've gotten away with it. “Wait, Rickon? What the fuck?”

“Oh, shit.” He said.

“You mean Rickon has gotten a lap dance and I haven’t?” Ned said, exasperated.

“Okay, my sixteen year old baby brother has gotten a lap dance… That is not at all destroying my image of him.” Robb lamented ironically.

“You guys are so fucking dramatic…” Rickon said as he turned red from embarrassment.

“I would judge you, but I don't feel like I have the right to.” Jon said. “But at least I was older than you.”

“Hm… Jon? No, you weren't.” Ygritte said.

“Yes, I was.” He said.

“No, you weren't. It happened a little bit after Pillowtalk was released. That was almost eight years ago. You were barely even sixteen.” She said.

“Holy shit!” Jon’s eyes widened. “It happened eight years ago?”

“So that’s why you lied to us about where you were going.” Cat said, referencing the first round of the game. They laughed it off and looked at Arya.

“Hm… Okay, so, never have I ever… had sex in this house.” She spoke lazily.

Ned and Cat, who obviously drank, watched as Robb, Jon, Arya, Bran and their respective partners took sips of their drinks.

“I should be disappointed, but you guys aren't nearly as discreet as you think you are.” Their mother said. Gendry and Jojen fearfully took those words in.

Gendry cleared his throat. “Never have I ever kissed more than five people in one night.”

Theon and Sansa drank. The latter was a cause for surprise.

“Sansa?” Robb said.

“Oh, give me a break. I just got out of a toxic relationship that consumed a big part of my teenage years, I deserve to have my slut era.”

“Fair enough.” He said, shrugging it off. Everyone in the circle was able to agree with that. None of them liked Joffrey very much (even his half brother, Gendry, couldn't hide the disgust).

“Never have I ever had sex in a car.” Sansa said, breaking the silence.

Robb and Theon looked at each other and drank.

“Robb… neither of you owns a car.” Jon reminded him, shocked.

“I… We’re aware.” His brother answered, sheepishly.

“You're aware? That's all you have to say for yourself?” Catelyn didn't hide her amazement or her laugh.

“Please tell me you didn't do it in my car.” Ned pleaded.

“I really wish I could.” Theon said.

“Oh my god, you people have issues.” Arya said. Jojen enthusiastically nodded in agreement.

“In our defense, it's not like we had other options!” Theon observed.

“You did! You could just not have done it!” The father said.

Rickon interrupted them. “There’s no point in playing the game if you all are going to yell about every revelation.” He complained.

“This was supposed to be a family bonding moment, if I recall.” Ygritte said.

“Exactly! Now, it's my turn.” The youngest brother declared. “Never have I ever used someone in this room as an excuse to get laid.”

Arya seemed to think about it for a moment before looking at her boyfriend and taking a sip of the drink with him. After the questioning looks Sansa gave her, she decided to explain herself. “Look… Jon and Ygritte’s wedding was a lot.”

“You fucked at my wedding?!” Her brother was almost offended.

“I mean… if it counts for something, at least it was a very good fuck.” She said.

“Arya!” Gendry yelled, wide eyed and terrified.

Ygritte side hugged her sister-in-law. “Honestly, good for you.”

They bursted out laughing while Gendry looked between Jon and Ned like they were going to eat him alive.

After some time, Jojen looked directly at Theon with a smirk on his face. “Never have I ever helped any of the Stark children to sneak out of this house.”

Theon drank with indignation on his expression. “Brandon, get your boytoy under control.”

“Oh, he’s not the boytoy in this relationship.” He laughed. And Theon joined him.

“I officially know too much about my family’s sex lives.” Sansa complained.

“Imagine how I’m feeling.” Ned huffed a laugh.

“About that…” Bran said, looking at his parents. “Never have I ever had an accident child.”

His mother and father looked at each other terrified before consuming some of the alcohol.

“Well, I’m an accident, that’s not news, so dad makes sense.” Jon said. “But mom? Which one?!” He was holding back laughter.

“I refuse to answer that.” She said.

“You can't just refuse to answer stuff like that!” Robb said.

“Oh, she absolutely can, she's your mother.” Ned stated, almost laughing. “Now, my turn. Never have I ever had sex in a movie teather.”

“C’mon, dad, no one does th–” The eldest son stopped speaking when his boyfriend slowly took a sip of his drink.

“No one does it, you said?” Ned teased him.

“Theon?” Robb said. “Are you fucking crazy?” He had a stunned look on his face.

His partner tried to explain himself. “It was a long time ago, I barely even knew you! It's not like I–”

“You think I care if it wasn't with me? Fuck that, you had sex in a fucking movie teather!” Robb was almost laughing at how absurd that was.

“How bad was that movie, honestly?” Jon asked, almost unable to breathe from all the hilarity.

“Right? Movie tickets are not as cheap as they used to be.” Ygritte agreed with her husband, chuckling.

“I– Twilight was on…” Theon explained, almost giving in at how comical it was as well.

At this point, Robb was already breathless, incapable of holding himself up and resting his forehead on his boyfriend’s shoulder as he had a fit of hysterical laughter. Greyjoy looked at him and soon joined the man in chuckles and giggles. (It may have been a nervous laugh, but no one had to know that he was afraid of having his balls chopped off by his own boyfriend).

Catelyn noticed it was her turn to make a statement again and, looking at the time, realized that it may not be the best idea. “Hey, kids, it's already late and we're all pretty wasted. I think it might be a good time to go to sleep and pray we don't remember this interaction tomorrow morning.” She giggled.

“I certainly will try my best to forget at least half of this.” Ned said as he stood up with difficulty, holding a hand out to help his wife.

The rest of the family followed their lead, getting up from the floor and starting to make their way to their respective bedrooms.

Gendry stopped. “Hey, guys. Now that I know how fucked up all of you actually are, can we at least agree not to be loud tonight?”

“No promises.” Jojen said, taking the birthday boy to his room.

“Oh, fuck.” Rickon, whose room was next to Bran’s, prepared for a hellish night. “When I get a girlfriend, you are going to regret every day of your life, Brandon Stark.”

Everyone laughed at the interaction, this time actually going to their rooms to have the extremely needed sleep.