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if i could do it all over again

Summary:

“You know, sometimes,” Leonard continued, his gaze looking somewhere far off, “I wonder if I could have done something differently to prevent it all. I wish I could’ve had another chance, to do it all over again— and not be so useless.” He didn’t need to mention what he wanted to prevent; the dark memory already hung in the air around them.

Klein smiled ruefully, lost in thought. He softly echoed Leonard.

"I, too, wish I could’ve had a second chance.”

. . .

After five years, Klein wakes up from his slumber and becomes a full-fledged Mysterious Lord.
However, not even he could know a thoughtless comment would send him hurtling eight years into the past- before it all began, before everything.

Can he change the past to achieve a better future?

The sequel is out and updating!

Notes:

vietnamese translation by @Yukina6378 available here!

there's also a russian translation by Oyaka_Ange available here!

another viet translation by hoathanh106: here!

Chapter 1: happy accident

Notes:

Okay, brace yourself for an extremely long PSA:

For this fic, I will be pulling information from the wiki, the original text, and my own memory to write. If there’s any logical errors/holes, I apologize beforehand and I would really appreciate it if you would let me know so I can fix it. Also, lines taken from the original text will not be indicated for readability, but don’t worry, they won’t be huge paragraphs at a time, just descriptions and the occasional sentence here and there.

Again, this is a very ambitious project (and I don’t know if I’ll finish before LOTM 2 releases) so it has the possibility of being dropped when I lose interest.

This is also a fic where I’m placing my enjoyment as a writer above the enjoyment of the readers, so it’s VERY self-indulgent–characters and events will closely align with canon and there will be (mostly) no original characters, but in terms of the plot direction there will be quite a lot of change. For example, Amon (i love you but still) is not going to be a very prominent character, or even antagonist. (sorry for all the amon fans out there) This is subject to change if i change my mind later on.

Also, everyone interprets characters slightly differently, and since I’ll be writing about practically every character that shows up, i’ll apologize in advance for the OOC. I’m very open to constructive criticism though!!

And as mentioned in the tags, this is a slow burn fic with mlm romance between Leonard and Klein.

With that said, I’ll stop blabbing and hope you enjoy the first chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

3 hours after the birth of a new Lord of the Mysteries.

 

Sitting in his seat above the gray fog, Leonard looked at the shrouded figure at the head of the table with trepidation.

 

A few minutes ago, every member of the Tarot Club had received a message from previously dormant Mr. Fool– ‘He’ had finally awoken from his slumber and would hold a Tarot Club meeting the following Monday. 

 

So why… Why was he the only one pulled into Sefirah Castle?

 

Sensing the scrutiny from the mysterious deity, Leonard hurriedly averted his gaze. “H-Honorable Mr. Fool, do you need me for something…?”

 

Klein glanced at the clearly fidgety poet and smiled slightly as he tapped the mottled bronze table. “Leonard, you don’t need to be so formal with me.” With that said, he waved his hand, dispersing the gray fog that covered them and revealing both the green-eyed red glove and...

 

...The true appearance of 'The Fool,' the face that contained a mix of both Gehrman and Klein’s appearances!

 

Leonard’s eyes widened, and even as his instincts screamed for him to look away, to not look directly at God, Leonard remained riveted in his seat with his gaze irresistibly stuck on the hooded figure. 

 

He was speechless for a few seconds and struggled to form words. "Y-you...No, it's impossible...K-Klein?!"

 

The Fool directly laughed at the stuttering Deacon. “Why are you pretending to be so shocked? Did you not already guess as much when you entered my dream?” 'He' smiled, almost playfully, at Leonard. "Would you like me to remind you of what you said?"

 

“No, no need...uh, for that.” Leonard had half the mind to feel a bit embarrassed as he recalled his escapades in the God's dreams. However, he still looked at The Fool with flighty eyes, a bit disbelieving that his only friend had suddenly become a lofty Sequence 0. After all, there's a difference between having a poorly-backed suspicion and having direct proof!

 

Leonard nervously licked his lips and regained the courage to look directly at Klein. As he looked at the half-familiar face, Leonard managed to relax a bit and become more laid-back as his perception of his former colleague overlapped with that of the deity before him.

 

His next reaction was to immediately worry for his friend.

 

“Are you now… Above the Sequences? Is your condition alright? Do you have enough anchors, are you stable right now? What can I do to help? What about your humanity? ”

 

Suddenly bombarded with questions, Klein slowly answered them one by one with patience. “Yes, it’s good, yes and yes again, I don't require your help right now but that may change in the future, and I have a reliable solution for that.” It mainly consists of using Bug to Graft a large portion of my divinity onto a poor marionette shoved into a corner of Sefirah Castle…It’s a bit of a hassle to do, but it works.

 

Leonard’s eyes were still as wide as saucers and he subconsciously leaned forward, more curious than afraid. “Well, uh… how did you become or rather, create the identity of the Fool? And how are you The Fool and The World at the same time? Was The World just a fake identity at the Tarot Club?”

 

Klein felt a bit of embarrassment and wanted to force another Avatar of his to answer the question in his stead. It’s here! The question I didn’t want to answer the most! Preparing a script full of half-truths, Klein spent the next few minutes summarizing his secret identity during those three years.

 

Unconsciously, the initial half-forced lighthearted tone devolved into a bleaker one as Klein recounted his experiences.

 

"...After my gamble against Amon, I immediately needed to sleep to resolve the issue, which brings us to now." He finished in a low tone.

 

After The Fool stopped speaking, Leonard was silent for a while. “You…” He eventually made out with difficulty. “You truly went through a lot.”

 

Klein nodded in response, and they lapsed into another silence.

 

“Even all these years later, at a level completely separate from mortals, I still think about Tingen often.” Klein continued, his eyes dark and unfathomable. “It is still one of my most treasured memories.” 

 

“Likewise.” Leonard smiled at The Fool, but it wasn't a happy expression. In fact, maybe it’s only because of our attachment to those shared, happy times that we can even be friends and sit across from each other like this…After all, we are the only living witnesses of that incident. There is and will be no one else who experienced what we did.

 

“You know, sometimes,” Leonard said, his gaze looking somewhere far off, “I wonder if I could have done something differently to prevent it all. I wish I could’ve had another chance, to do it all over again— and not be so useless.” He didn’t need to mention what he wanted to prevent; the dark memory already hung in the air around them.

 

I know.

 

Klein smiled ruefully, lost in thought. He could feel his emotions becoming turbulent, which didn't bode well for a recently advanced Lord of the Mysteries. Quietly reigning in his increasingly chaotic spirituality, Klein softly echoed Leonard.

 

“I, too, wish I could’ve had a second chance.”

 

He didn't try to tell Leonard to keep the past behind him, or reassure him that it wasn't his fault-

 

Because for Klein, too, it was one of his biggest regrets.

 

A few minutes later, Klein peacefully sent Leonard away and recalled his Avatars around the world doing some basic information gathering. However, the instant he did so, he realized something was wrong– his spirituality was being depleted at an alarming rate, and even the marionettes and Worms of Spirit that he hadn’t recalled were being integrated into his main body!

 

As even the locked up ‘divinity storage’ marionette was attracted to him, Klein’s heart tightened and his eyes flashed. Not good! But before he could do anything, his vision and all other senses blacked out.

 


 

The year 1349.

 

Klein’s vision blurred and gradually focused. Confused and remembering the chaotic scene a few seconds ago, he immediately wanted to run deep into the fog of history–

 

But nothing happened.

 

Furrowing his brow, Klein was about to try again when he froze, taking in his surroundings.

 

A familiar bed, a familiar desk, a familiar wallpaper. Klein stood in shock in the middle of the room, feeling as if a bucket of cold water just washed over him. 

 

What?  

 

Even though he knew it was impossible, Klein doubted whether he was in a dream or not right at that very moment. But the floor, the air, even the small dent in the lamp… it all feels so real…It was as if he had truly gone back in time, eight years into the past!

 

He quickly pinched himself. I feel pain… As if freed from a spell, Klein sprung into action– he ran around the room, touching everything, confirming it was real.

 

Have I… actually returned to the past? But how? Was it when I carelessly spoke and made a ‘wish?’ The Lord of the Mysteries was stunned. No, wait– right now, I can clearly sense I’m already Sequence 8. That means some time has already passed since I first transmigrated…Struck with urgency, Klein immediately whirled around and checked the calendar.

 

After looking at the date, Klein paused in his hurried actions. He grabbed the thin calendar with both hands, eyes boring into the paper–

 

The current date was only 3 days away from when the True Creator’s spawn would be born in Tingen City!

 

Notes:

So i’ve actually already written 13 chapters (around a total of 20,000 words), wrapping up the tingen arc, which I will publish asap

but i want to know would it be better to write an entire volume/arc and then mass publish chapters on ao3, or update one chapter at a time?

also, please give name ideas :)