Chapter Text
Peter was elated as he clicked his seat belt in the plane…
He had finally managed to convince Ken to take a couple of days off from the restaurant so that both of them would go see his father in Hong Kong, since the accident and despite already arranging it with Ken, Peter could hardly manage to steal him away for more than a day at a time… despite the doctor's order to take it easy for a while… to both of them…
that until he had put his foot down and told Ken to keep his promises, and Ken, fearing to upset his partner any further, agreed…
It was how both of them ended up flying first class one evening… after Peter had practically dragged Ken out of the restaurant, into the house to pack, and then directly to the airport before Ken could wiggle out of it.
"Did you tell him already?" Peter asked as he ushered to the hostess… He didn't leave room for Ken to do anything other than pack and go to the airport…
"In a way… He knew to expect us, I told him of your plans but never mentioned anything about the time"
It was true, after that night when Peter surprised Ken with the tickets and the plan to take some time off the restaurant to see Ken's father, it seemed that everything else went in the other direction, Ken was making new safety arrangements for the restaurant and Peter was too busy wrapping up all the work that would require him to be present in person…
In all truth, Ken was looking forward to seeing his father, but since the whole ordeal and the injuries he sustained, he seemed to be on edge about going back into anything that would remind him of some of the time between Din's disappearance and him coming back as Peter…
Somehow and despite all the effort to start a new life, things were still unsettled… their entire past was still fresh in Ken's mind as if it had happened only yesterday… The whole thing was still tugging on his brain, He jerked awake from nightmares related to losing Peter, He zoned out more than usual, He was hardly back to being himself and it showed
Phayu even commented on it one night, as he and Hin were dining with Peter, waiting for Ken to join them…
"He is hardly ok…"
Peter nodded grimly… Hin shared a look from his partner to his brother… but kept his peace…
"He has been working really hard to make sure I cannot notice as well… He hardly sits down for one second… it's scary… and then there are the nightmares… the jerking awake at night, the endless zoning out whenever we are both sitting idly by…"
"What is it about?", Asked Hin
"The Forest, the house… it's not always Inpha as well, sometimes it is just one of us or me falling off that cliff as he watches helplessly…"
"Did he tell you that?"
"No… he hardly talks about it, but it is not hard to put two plus two with the things I keep hearing him mummer all night…"
"Shouldn't you both seek help?"
Peter shrugged, Ken shot that down when Peter attempted to talk him into it…
It had been hard on Peter too, watching Ken suffer from his own memories and not allow him to soothe him, every time he woke up from a nightmare, Peter would wrap him in his arms and repeat sweet nothing to him till he managed to fall back asleep, If he managed to fall back asleep… It was more nights than not that Ken would head to the restaurant without having as much as a wink of sleep… drinking cups of coffee all day to remain focused, as he managed the staff in and out of the kitchen…
Thus, the enforced vacation…
The flight was uneventful, Ken remained awake as both of them opted to watch a movie together and catch up on some time alone, one of the perks of being in the air was that none of them could give a damn about a phone at least till they both landed in Hong Kong…
Meeting Ken's father was another thing entirely…
The man was beyond happy, beyond elated, to see his child with the man he loved again, seeing him thriving and chasing his dreams, and above all else, he was happy to see Peter safe and sound, and hear about their life…
However, Ken's father was not the kind of man who wouldn't notice the dark circles in his child's eyes as he spoke about his restaurant, or notice the shake of his hand from the caffeine he was consuming to compensate for the lack of proper rest…
He shared a meaningful look with Peter… and Peter knew he was going to be interrogated just right…
"Child, Why don't you prepare the room for you and your partner while I have some tea with Peter here.."
Ken whined, not wanting his father to give Peter the shovel talk…. but Peter smiled at him and pushed him to comply…
"We didn't book a hotel so unless you clean and prepare that room, we would have to stay awake all night…"
Ken chuckled before he stood to go check on their sleeping arrangement…
Ken's father looked at Peter hard and long…
"Tell me what is going on, Don't leave anything out…"
and Peter spilled his guts… literally…
He started with what the man already knew, about Peter keeping his promise to Ken, about gaining his forgiveness, about trying to move on… and then moved to all the things that had happened… the fights, the jealousy… and the accident in the restaurant…
Ken's father listened to him intently… not interrupting a single time… he waited for Peter to tell his tale and then some more…
"He never dealt with your disappearance well… He was stuck in an endless loop of memories that didn't seem to leave him… the guilt had been eating him for years, you cannot expect it all to fade now that easily… Hadn't you come back to finish with Inpha, I was pretty sure it would only be a matter of time till he went there himself, it was only a matter of time, and I knew I could only keep him there so much… after the funeral, I was sure he would hunt down that man… he believed he no longer had anything to lose, that all was lost already"
Peter nodded his arrangement, he knew as much, still, the whole thing was driving him insane, there must be something to help Ken with, there must be a way or another… he couldn't just sit idly by…
"I know it's hard seeing him suffer in memories and fear like that…"
"Do you think there's something I can do to help him?"
Ken's father didn't take a second to answer, the whole thing was just too simple…
"It's not that simple, Ken was… used to being abandoned… He knew the pain of it all too well for him to deal with it now… not when it meant losing you like that…"
"I told him that that night was never his fault… things went the way things were meant to go… He said he knew as much but…"
"Knowing is a thing, believing is another…"
both of them heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs and went silent as Ken walked down and back to his seat…
"I hope you weren't too hard on him, Father…"
Ken's father looked at Peter with sincerity…
"He makes you happy… I cannot be hard on him now…"
and Peter knew he had to find a way to guard Ken against his own demons…
-----
The room was the same as Peter remembered…
He had followed Ken there after saving Ken that one time, leaned in, and kissed him as he slept because the temptation was just too much for him to bear… back then he had thought he would go insane if he didn't touch Ken or kiss him someway… two years was such a long time, he felt every second of them…
and now standing in the same room again, he was overcome with the same emotion… with the same need to make up for lost time with Ken…
He locked the door and wrapped his arms around Ken's waist as Ken put away their belongings… before littering his neck and back with tender soft kisses…
Ken turned in Peter's arms and leaned in, kissing him full on… He too was overcome with the same emotions being back in that room with Peter… The same longing… memories of many dark nights when he cursed being alive and alone…
"I am here now, you are no longer here alone fighting your own demons…"
Ken nodded, his throat tight with emotions… Peter had begun moving, pushing Ken into the bed before leaning down on him… kissing him enough that his head was starting to spin with it…
"I am going to erase all the things you remember about that room, we will make new memories here, and everywhere in the city, till all you can remember is me by your side…"
Ken smiled, and Peter made well on his promise…
-----
The small bed in Ken's room meant that Peter had him tucked safely into his arms, in the aftermath of their own heated romance…
Ken had fallen asleep almost right away after… soothed to sleep by Peter's presence, by the warmth of their intertwined bodies, by the fact that he was no longer alone in that room, no longer surrounded by memories of long lost love…
Peter watched him sleep mesmerized, He liked having Ken in his arms, liked being his guard and his watchful protector… warding away his nightmares and his bad memories… along with some of his own as well…
Peter too had been scared shitless during that time in the hospital, holding Ken's body in his arms while he was unconscious and not responding and seeing him being wheeled into the ER after that, reminded him of the fear he had as he was in Korea. If Ken was going to make it or not, what would he be like once he had woken up… He remembered the stories he heard in passings between Sai and Hin, about how unresponsive he was, how closed off, how he withdrew into his own mind and didn't utter a word for days.
Peter pulled Ken tighter against him when the memories assaulted him, tucking him under his chin and wrapping both his arms tighter around him…
A single thought passed Peter's mind as he fell asleep…
He was going to ward those demons from Ken's mind…
-----
The following few days were a study in romance for Peter and Ken…
Peter made good on his promise to make new memories with Ken around the city, going from one place to the other, spending time with Ken, listening to his stories, and trading him for some of his own… and other things…
Ken had a long talk with his father… who was by far not the kind of man to avoid specific topics…
"You are still scared of losing him…"
Ken looked at his father as both of them stood cooking behind the counter in the restaurant… He had missed that, missed standing by his father's side and learning from him, seeing his time-honed skill…
"Shouldn't I? It was by far not an easy ride…"
"You should, we should always fear losing the ones we love, but that doesn't mean that we should let that stop us from living…"
"I am not letting it stop me from living…"
Ken's father side-eyed him…
"I don't remember ever seeing you that tired child, even then, you still slept because of the medication and because you wanted to remain healthy, don't you think I knew all about the fact that you were aiming to avenge him… besides that, I have heard about your little freak accident, shouldn't you have rested a bit after that? I was told by Peter that both of you would visit soon… that the visit would be needed to force you into getting some much-needed rest…"
Ken looked at his father sheepishly
"I cannot shake the feeling that something bad would happen… that his happiness would be short-lived… that he would vanish into thin air like he was never there, to begin with…"
"Wasn't that fear there for the past few months? Is that new?"
"It was… I just… I kept busy, pushed to the back of my mind, but I am sure Peter had told you already that I have acted upon my anger a couple of times…"
Ken's father nodded, he had heard about their infamous fight, about Ken slapping Peter when he confronted him about his accusations
"Yet here you are wasting your time worrying instead of making use of every moment to make up for all the time you both had already lost…"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you think Peter is scared too? Don't you think he had heard - and seen - by now how much you have suffered… that he too had suffered enough as it is…"
Ken thought about it for a second… before his father continued
"He told me Phayu and Hin had filled him in about your time at the hospital, and during your last injury, they were all worried about the state you would be in when you woke up… Don't you think he too lived in fear that something would happen and this time he wouldn't be able to get you back…"
Ken stared at his father in confusion…
"But I…"
"You what? You had an accident and almost died because of a gas leak in the restaurant… You were in a coma after that for days… don't you think he had suffered that same fear back then…"
Ken looked at his father… understanding dawning on him…
"He may have been good at hiding it, but Peter is scared for you, he hears you mummer things in your sleep, wakes you from your night terrors… He can see through your attempts at acting normal…"
"I know that…"
"yet you shot him down when he suggested seeking him…"
"I don't want to burden him any further… I am a handful as it is…"
"By making things worse for both you and him?"
Ken sighed, his father was - as usual - right about him…
"Promise me, Ken… Promise me you will ask for help…"
"I promise you, Father…"
-----
Despite wanting to stay for further more days with Ken's father… Peter was needed back in Thailand… and from what he heard, he was needed urgently…
It was a day after the conversation between Ken and His father… Peter and Ken were asleep when the phone rang with Hin's number… waking both of them of much-needed sleep…
Peter expected the worse when he picked up, and he was right to do so… their mother had fallen ill all of a sudden and Hin needed Peter back, urgently if he can help it, and while Pete had told Ken that he could stay for a few more days and catch up with his father, Ken refused to do so, he wouldn't leave Peter's side for anything, and If Peter was needed then Ken too we needed, Their mother was more of a mother to him than his own…
This was why they made a quick arrangement to fly the following morning right away, hoping to get back as really as possible, since the drive back itself would take plenty of time…
Ken's father was very understanding when both of them told him the tale… He even promised Ken that he would come to see his restaurant and spend some time with both of them soon…
The flight was tense though, despite Ken's trials to ease Peter… he had an uneasy feeling in his heart…
and soon both of them were in a car driving through the forest road in the rain to reach Hin's parents' house and the hospital…
-----
Peter was not a reckless driver, on the contrary… he was the image of carefulness…
He had been a biker too since he could ride one, and he loved the speed and had the kind of carefulness that helped him remain safe as well…
but driving in the rain was driving in the rain and there was no way around that… it was risky and uncomfortable, the vision would lessen, and no matter what, or how careful one was, accidents could happen…
Moreover, driving with needing to speed up and be there for someone you love in mind, was not the best way to drive around those conditions… and in a forest nonetheless…
Peter barely saw the wild animal that had jumped right in front of the car, before he heard Ken's shout… and then he was hit with something with such force… that everything faded to blackness right away…