Chapter Text
romeo: YOU GUYS, specs is looking at me!!!
race: get some!!
(across the lunchroom)
specs: romeo is just such an annoying little bitch! he just wants attention!
spot: ...and?
specs, dreamily: and i'm gonna give it to him
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jack: i just lowkey think that my grandpa is santa's twin. he's fat. he's old. and he likes his cookies. just don't eat them.
crutchie: what happens if i eat his cookies?
jack: you get coal and you'll never see the light of day ever again
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race: yayy! white power!!
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finch: black baby no!
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albert: why are hot people in prison? like,,, shakira.
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(katherine straightened sarah's hair)
joseph pulitzer: oh you're straight now!
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jack: something, something. get out of my butt
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race: banana banana, can you hear me? lalalalalaaaaa!
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albert: the first one sounded like satan was crawling out of the charging port
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smalls: this lady in front of me at church was like "do 𝘺𝘰𝘶 believe He is risen?" and i said yes and she was all "oh really? because you're wearing pants!" lIKE, LADY-
race: yOu DoN't BeLiEvE iN gOd, YoU'rE wEaRiNg PaNtS!!
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finch: ynot? *evil laugh*
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crutchie: i swear to god, if you don't stop singing right now i'm gonna sacrifice you to the glitch gods.
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albert, high out of his mind: oh yeah, i got booby.
race, also high: nooooooooOOOOOOO AL, IT'S "oh yeah, it's all coming toGeThERRRRRR"
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romeo: i need to write a part two of how santa is being held captive in my basement
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hot shot: now let's cut him open, see what comes out.
jojo: *gasp* his pancreas is gay!!
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blink: they're starting a cologne war! GET YOUR COLOGNE WAR 𝘖𝘜𝘛 𝘖𝘍 𝘔𝘠 𝘍𝘈𝘊𝘌!!!! bro that's so fucking strong. dude it's like hotel soap!!
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albert, high: look- lookat th dean
finch: oh no
race, also high: wh- why is the dean killing his wheelchair??? *starts laughing uncontrollably*
davey: what is wrong with you people
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jojo, casually: i wanna,,, find the scene where ed almost hangs himself.
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mike: jojo, brobro, that's a big nono you fucking homo
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jojo: dawg, whaddo i say that's funny?
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(dysphoria day)
albert: put sauce on my boobs.. then cut them off.
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spot: can we stop talking about fingering oompa loompas now?
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race: bruh stop fingering my ass
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elmer: my inner demons need to cum