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Nathan had been scrolling through his phone for the past three hours, texting everyone in his contacts list in a fit of utter desperation. At first, he’d just messaged the pretty girls, and then, the average looking ones. After half of them turned him down and the other half didn’t respond, he quickly moved onto the ugly chicks. Then, he began texting guys as well.
Simon was the only one who responded. It was well past midnight when he came by the community centre. Nathan opened the side door and pulled him inside.
“Barry, I’m so glad you could make it!”
Nathan pulled him into a hug with one arm over his shoulder, overly friendly compared to the way he usually treated him. Then he placed his palms on Simon’s cheeks and kissed him on the forehead with a wet smack. He looked Simon dead in the eyes.
“We’ve got to shag immediately,” he said.
Simon’s eyebrows shot to the top of his head.
“You said this was an emergency. I thought you were in danger.”
“I am in danger! I was flirting with this chick and she went totally psycho. She used her freaky powers on me and now if I don’t have sex with someone A-S-A-P, my dick is going to shrivel up and fall off.”
“Are you sure? That sounds made up.”
“Oh, you don’t believe me? There was a guy that could turn people gay and a kid who could control milk, but making people’s genitals fall off is just unimaginable!”
“Dairy, actually.”
“What?”
“He could control lactose, not just milk”
“Well, whatever, you knew what I meant.”
“How do you know she wasn’t lying?”
“I don’t, but I’m not going to wait around until my prick falls off to find out! I know you don’t use yours, but I do, and I’ve only got the one.”
Nathan twisted out of his t-shirt and pushed his briefs down to his ankles. Once fully in the nude, he gyrated his hips for good measure.
“Now let’s get down to business.”
Simon’s eyes widened. He shook his head in disbelief.
“No. I’m not - I’m not going to have sex with you.”
“Why the hell not? It’s because I’m too big, isn’t it?”
Nathan gestured to his entire crotchal area with both hands and pumped his hips. Simon’s lip curled in disgust, and he squeezed his eyes shut and looked away.
“No.”
“It’s alright, you can say it - you’re afraid of my enormous cock!”
Nathan gyrated so his cock swung around in a circle like a pinwheel.
“I’m not!”
Nathan swayed as he circled Simon, moving in closer.
“But you do think it’s massive?”
“No!”
“C’mon! Please? I’ll be gentle!”
Simon shook his head. Nathan furrowed his eyebrows and pouted. He put his hand on Simon’s shoulder.
“Just the tip?”
Simon took a step back, swallowing nervously.
“You’d rather let me die?” Nathan batted his lashes dramatically. “Heartless Barry, even for a panty-sniffer like you.”
“Can’t you ask someone else?”
“You really think you were at the top of my list? Kelly said it felt like she was biffin her brother the last time we kissed, and Alisha - her and Curtis are “exclusive” now, whatever that means. I’ve gone through and messaged everyone in my phone! You’re my last resort!”
“If it’s that important, then can’t I - can’t I be on top?”
“Can you?”
“Why not?”
“Are you asking me or telling me? What kind of game are we playing here?”
“I’m not playing. No game. I can do it.” His lips pressed into a thin line. “If I have to.”
“Well you don’t have to…” Nathan mumbled. “But otherwise I will die.”
“You’re immortal.”
“Well it’s actually worse than dying! My cock is gonna fall off. What kind of fulfilling life can a man live without his cock? I don’t wanna experience that kinda trauma. It’s not worth it. Will it even grow back if I do die? I’m not sure how any of this works. Just stick it in me until I squeal like a pig. Oink oink.”
“Stop it.”
“Why? You don’t want me to be your little sex piggy?”
“N-no.”
Nathan squeezed his shoulders from behind and when Simon turned to him he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“You sure you don’t wanna trade places? I’ve got more experience.”
“You’ve done this before?”
“Well, not with a guy, obviously, but I’ve tried anal with chicks.”
Simon took a deep breath, feeling insecure.
“Then why me?”
“You answered my message first,” Nathan said nonchalantly. “Plus, I figured you’ve thought of shaggin’ a guy anyway.”
Simon furrowed his eyebrows.
“I haven’t.”
“Blowjobs, then.”
“No, I haven’t.”
Nathan looked genuinely surprised.
“You’re telling me you’re completely heterosexual with a face like that?”
Simon touched his cheeks with his hands.
“What do you mean? What’s wrong with my face?”
“Nothing’s wrong with it, you’ve just got a little case of gay face.”
“What?”
“You know, the face of a homosexual.”
“Forget it, I’m not doing this.”
Simon turned to leave but Nathan ran in front of him with both hands out, naked except his socks.
“Come on, don’t be like that! Who would’ve thought a melon-fucker like you would get his knickers twisted over a little thing like sexuality? Who cares! It’s not a bad thing. I’m sure at a gay bar you’d do extremely well. Have you ever been to the Cock Fight?”
Simon shook his head.
“No, have you?”
“Of course! That’s how I ended up with that Thai ladyboy!”
“You…you really had sex with a man?”
“For Christ's sake, ladyboys aren’t men! I know a man when I see one. Worst case, she was a transsexual. Kelly’s more of a man than this little tart. She barely came up to my nipples. Hair longer than a banshee.”
“What’s a banshee?”
“That’s not important. What’s important is she took it up the arse like a champ. I’m sure I can manage somehow. C’mon.”
They found a table not too far off and Nathan threw himself over it. He slapped his cheeks with both hands and then spread them.
“Fire in the hole!” he shouted.
Simon stood several feet away, staring awkwardly. He couldn’t believe what he was about to do. Nathan glared at him over his shoulder.
“How are you going to fuck me from all the way over there?”
Simon approached cautiously, then stood there without saying anything. He stared at Nathan’s ass, hands hovering a few inches away from his hips, too scared to touch him. He swallowed around the lump in his throat.
“I can’t.”
Nathan huffed and turned over. He used his arms to push himself up on the table. He looked at Simon expectantly.
“Alright, let’s have a look.”
“What?”
“Get your prick out,” he gestured with his hand. “Let’s see what we’re working with.”
“No. I can’t.”
“How are we gonna shag if you won’t get your cock out?”
Simon grimaced and unzipped his pants. He pushed them down around his ankles so his briefs were showing. He held his hands in front of his crotch.
“Is this about size? You’re probably average. C’mon, I promise not to laugh. Well, unless you have a micropenis or something. Do you have a micropenis, Barry?”
“No!” Simon looked off to the side. “I can’t get hard.”
Nathan rolled his eyes.
“Don’t tell me you’ve gone and gotten early-onset erectile dysfunction from watching too much porn! You probably watch that real twisted shit too, like the cartoons with the tentacle monsters raping schoolgirls and laying eggs inside them.”
“No! I’ve never had this problem before.”
Sweat was beading on Simon’s temple and he was breathing a little heavy.
“Alright, listen here Barry, how about I help you out this once, just because you’re doing me a solid. I’ll help you help me, okay?”
“How?”
“Just get your prick out, would you?”
Simon took a deep breath and pulled his cock out. Nathan slid off the table and onto his knees in front of him. He looked up at Simon as he reached for his cock.
“You better not tell anyone about this,” said Nathan.
“Why would I tell anyone?”
“I don’t know. I’m just putting it out there.”
“If people knew about this it would be bad for me too-!”
Simon gasped and stopped talking when Nathan wrapped his hand around his cock and squeezed it. It was hot against his palm. He stroked the entire length of it and then spit on it, stroking it until it stopped growing in his hand.
He looked back up at Simon. His face was red. Nathan eyed him up and down.
“More of a grower, huh? You were holding out on me!”
Simon’s cock twitched when Nathan complimented him.
“At first I thought you were going to suck it,” said Simon.
“You thought wrong!”
Nathan pushed himself off the floor and took a deep breath.
“Alright, let’s go. For real this time.”
He bent over the table and spread himself again. A shiver ran down his spine when his nipples pressed into the cool surface. Simon didn’t move and Nathan sighed.
“Don’t worry, I shit my brains out before you got here and hosed my ass out after. You’re good to go.”
“You did - why?“
“For this! I had to prepare for a worst case scenario.”
“Doing this with me is a worst case scenario?”
“Isn’t it?”
Simon stared again at Nathan’s ass, willing himself to move. He gently touched Nathan’s side with his hand, keeping the other on his cock, making sure to maintain his erection. He held his cock steady and tilted his hips, finally close enough to reach Nathan’s ass. He shivered when he finally made contact, pressing their searing hot skin together. A careful nudge forward told Simon all he needed to know. There was absolutely no give.
“It’s not possible,” Simon said quietly.
“What?”
“There’s no way I can fit. You’re - it’s too small.”
“I can’t have you pussying out on me now, just imagine I’m someone else! I already know which beautiful lady I’ll be picturin’ shaggin’ me from behind with her big pink strap.”
“Oh my god.”
“What? Just squeeze your eyes shut and think of England! Fuck me already!”
“Alright, if you’re sure.”
Simon was spurred into action by Nathan’s urging. He held his cock steady and pressed forward into the crevice of Nathan’s ass with a bit more force, wincing at the friction.
“Ow, fuck! Stop! I was wrong. That hurts like a bitch. You were right, ow! Fuck.”
Simon promptly went limp. Nathan reached back and touched his own asshole with his fingers and then stared at his own hand in shock. He twisted around and sat up on the table, kicking his legs back and forth.
“At least I’m not bleeding.” He blinked and shook his head. “Christ, I thought my arsehole was going to rip in two.”
Simon felt nauseated by the concept.
“I thought you said you’ve done this before?”
Nathan hopped off the table and began pacing back and forth.
“I said I’ve tried anal. Pay attention. Never said I actually succeeded. No wonder chicks never wanna do this. Especially when they’ve got a perfectly good fanny right there.”
“I think we need some kind of lubricant.”
“You think? Lemme just grab my pocket lube!”
“Really?”
“No, not really!”
Simon shrank back when Nathan snapped at him. His eyes traveled around the community centre as he tried to think of a solution.
“Maybe there’s something around here we can use instead.”
Simon flinched when Nathan grabbed his shoulders and shook him.
“Of course! Barry, you’re a genius. Butter!”
“I didn’t say -”
Nathan ran off before Simon could finish his sentence and grabbed a tub of margarine from the community fridge. He dropped it on the table, popped off the lid, and shoved his fingers inside it, like he was fingering it. Simon blinked, trying to process what just happened. Nathan reached behind himself while Simon stared.
“Don’t watch!” Nathan shooed him off. “Worry about your erection, would you?”
“Sorry.”
Simon turned around and squeezed himself, trying to get himself hard again. He could hear Nathan shifting behind him, squeezing and squelching. He tried imagining girls he’d been attracted to in the past, but his mind kept drifting back to Nathan and the sounds he was making. After five minutes dragged by without anyone saying anything, Simon finally asked:
“Is the butter helping?”
“I think so but I'm actually - nghn - regretting my decision. It’s less like a slip n’ slide and more like when you grease a chicken for the oven.”
Simon thought for a second.
“I think I saw some lotion in the counselor’s office.”
“Now you tell me that? Go! Get it!”
Simon scampered off and found the counselor’s office had been left unlocked. He grabbed the lotion pump and brought it back with his hand partially over his eyes.
“Can I look now?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Nathan shoved away the tub of margarine and shook off his hands. “Ugh. I’m covered in this shit.”
Simon stiffened when Nathan walked up to him and wiped his hands on his shirt. He was too shocked to object. He swallowed hard.
“Do you,” Simon stuttered. “Do you want me to help you?”
Nathan plucked the lotion bottle from Simon’s hands.
“I think I can manage fingering my own arse, thanks.”
Simon played Snake on his phone while Nathan shuffled around behind him, back turned to Nathan to give him some semblance of privacy. It only took a few minutes for Nathan to get ready. The brunt of the work had already been done with the margarine, unfortunately.
“Alright, alright, this is as good as it’s going to get.”
Simon turned around and Nathan shoved the bottle of lotion into his chest and headed to the table. He bent over it again. The last thing he wanted was Simon staring deep into his eyes while he fucked his ass open.
“This is the last time I’m bending over this stupid table, so let’s get it over with already!”
“What about a condom?”
“Don’t have any, don’t care. No more interruptions!”
“I’ve got it.”
Simon opened a condom from his pocket and fought it onto his dick. He slicked himself with lotion and stepped forward, pushing against Nathan’s asshole with the slick head of his cock. This time, when he pressed forward, resistance gave way and Nathan’s ass started to open up for him. He gasped when he finally made it past that first ring of muscle and started sinking inside him.
“Fuck, that’s weird,” Nathan groaned.
Simon watched in amazement as he finally slid all the way into Nathan’s ass. He was trembling with the effort to go slow and stand at the same time, while also trying to shut out the thoughts about pumping his hips and fucking Nathan into the ground.
“Is it working?”
“It’s going in,” Simon said.
“I know that much! I’m asking if I’m cured.”
“How would I know?” Simon paused inside him. “Do you feel any different?”
“Other than your cock up my arse? Not particularly, no.” Nathan huffed. “Dammit! How long do you think we have to do this?”
“Well we have to finish, I suppose.”
“Both of us?” Nathan was completely soft. “There’s no way.”
“Does it feel that bad?”
“Have you ever shoved a sizable cucumber up your arse?”
Simon shook his head.
“What’s it like?”
“Like I’ve got to take a shit.”
Nathan felt Simon start to go soft inside him. Nathan tightened up instinctively and Simon gasped as blood rushed back into his cock.
“Pay attention to your prick, would you?”
“Sorry! I just don't like hurting people…”
Nathan rolled his eyes. Says the guy who brutally murdered one of their probation workers and stuffed her in the freezer.
Simon tilted his hips, grasping Nathan’s thighs and pulling him up and back until their skin was flush. He rocked on his heels as he dug around in his ass. Nathan made a sound like he was choking.
“Any better?” Simon asked.
“I don’t want you to make it better!”
“But it feels better, right?” Simon shifted the angle and tried again. “Lift your hips.”
Nathan obeyed with a groan.
“How much practice have you had at this?”
“None, but I’ve seen diagrams before.” Simon rolled his hips and Nathan squealed. “Is that your prostate?”
“Don’t look for my prostate!” Nathan grunted but Simon ignored him and did it again. “What business have you got looking at prostate diagrams when you haven't even thought of kissing a man!”
"I never said that."
Simon nailed it again and Nathan made a sound in the back of his throat. His cock was starting to grow against his belly. Simon ducked his head to get a look at it for himself.
“But it’s working.”
“Well of course my cock is on board! That guy would sign off on shagging a horse if I didn’t mind him.”
“You’ve got to finish too.”
“How do you know?”
“I - I don’t, really. It’s just a guess.”
Simon pulled Nathan’s hips back with every thrust, reaching deeper inside him. When he let go of his hips, Nathan continued to move on his own, humping himself on Simon’s cock. He pressed back onto Simon’s cock, so that he hit that good spot every time.
“OOOohshit.” Nathan sucked in a breath. “That’s - that’s - that’s really something actually…”
“Did you just…?”
Simon stared at the cum painting the table. Nathan wasn’t exactly ashamed, can’t say he ever has been, but he was surprised.
“It’s never - well it’s happened that fast before, but never from the arse.”
“I think that was a prostate orgasm.”
“You think?"
After a beat passed, Simon tilted his pelvis and thrust again. Nathan whined out loud and his softening cock twitched, trapped between the table and his stomach. He lifted his hips to avoid more friction.
“You’re killing me. I’ve already blown my load! I thought you were a virgin? Why is it taking you so long?”
“I’m nervous.”
“Well relax before you break my ass already.”
“Am I hurting you? Maybe what we did was enough. Want to stop?”
Nathan felt his cock soften a little inside him. He wasn’t about to start the process all over again. He was seeing this through to the end. Besides, he still had that weird tingly feeling in his balls. Surely when the power over him was lifted, it would go away?
“Nonono,” Nathan gushed. “It’s perfect.”
Nathan could feel Simon’s cock jump from the praise. Nathan practically sighed with relief. Simon was emboldened by the gentle cajoling. They were so close.
“Keep fucking me. You’re almost there.”
“Yes.” Simon grit his teeth as his erection came back to life, throbbing harder than before. “Are you sure - can I really? - I’m getting close.”
Simon’s voice wobbled. He could barely maintain the pace he was setting. He snapped his hips in a steady, quick rhythm. Nathan just wanted him to cum and he knew praise would do the trick.
“Fuck me, fuck me with your perfect cock.”
Every compliment went straight to Simon’s cock. It twitched inside Nathan when it was praised.
“I’m going to come,” Simon grunted.
He gripped one of Nathan’s shoulders for better leverage, back bowed as slammed inside him. His knuckles turned white as he rolled his hips, harder and faster until they were moving separate from the rest of his body.
“Cum,” Nathan commanded. “Hurry up and cum!”
Simon’s hands slid down to Nathan’s waist, forehead pressed against the skin of his back. The space between each movement became smaller and smaller, until Simon pumped his hips hard and came with a groan. He felt himself go boneless but caught himself before he collapsed on Nathan’s back. He rolled the other way instead, leaning back on the table beside him to catch his breath.
A minute had barely passed when Nathan and Simon looked up at the sound of one of the doors opening. Kelly was standing there with her mouth open, completely flabbergasted. She shook her head, eyebrows furrowed.
“Oh my god,” she said at last. “Are you two fuckin’?”
“Of course not!”
She looked between them.
“But I just saw his cock in your arse.”
“Okay, you got me!” Nathan admitted. “What else was I supposed to do? You wouldn’t help me! Barry really pulled through on this one.”
“His name is Simon! And I never said I wouldn’t help ya! I said I had to finish doing my hair.”
“I thought that was a no!”
“It wasn’t!”
“So you came here to shag me?”
“A duh! What are you a gay now?”
“Of course not! Sexuality is a spectrum, you know…I probably fall somewhere in the - if it breathes, and has a hole...”
Kelly looked at him with disgust.
“I already know you’ll fuck anything that moves! What about you?”
She gestured to Simon but he didn’t say anything, he just gaped like a fish. Nathan spoke for him before Simon could even begin to think of a response.
“Oh he’s definitely a closet bisexual. Look at him, he’s got a terminal case of gay face. Plus, he’s a total service top. The type of guy who would only take a cock if a girl was pegging him, know what I mean?”
“No I don’t, and I don’t want to! Don’t call me at night again. Next time I won’t answer!”
She stormed out of the community centre and the door slammed shut behind her. Nathan pulled his shirt over his head and shrugged when Simon looked at him.
“Geeze. What’s her problem?”
*
The next day at the community centre, everyone laughed when Kelly recounted the tale of what she’d witnessed. Curtis scrunched up his face in disgust. He and Alisha turned to Simon and looked at him in shock.
“You really fucked him?” says Curtis. “I would have let him die.”
“Me too,” says Alisha.
Nathan stuck out his tongue at them. Simon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Well that’s why I didn’t call you.”
“It wasn’t actually fatal,” said Simon. “It was just - just going to make his prick fall off.”
Everyone burst in laughter except Nathan, who scowled.
“You would have been doing the world a favor,” said Curtis.
“Besides,” said Alisha. “You could’ve gotten a fake cock, like - y’know, like lesbians use. Probably be bigger anyway.”
Nathan narrowed his eyes.
“Well at least I’m not a closet bisexual.”
“How do you figure?” said Alisha. “Didn’t you cum loads?”
“How’d you know about that?”
He turned to Simon, who looked completely baffled. Then he turned to Kelly. She refused to avert her gaze.
“What? I got eyes! It was all over the table, mate!”