Chapter Text
Miles would be lying if he said he hadn't imagined several... events with Gwen. Hugs, kisses, shared naps… their first time.
And he would be right to lie (he had dignity to save) because he and Gwen were not a couple (much to his regret).
And it’s not like it’s really one-sided. He wasn't blind to the little touches she kept giving him: her hand for a second on his arms, his chest, the way she clung to him, the way she made their goodbye hugs last a little longer each time.
It's just that, even five years after their reunion, Gwen was still terrorized by a certain "curse" (and so was he).
Gwen Stacy wasn't ready for a relationship.
And even if it was slowly killing him, Miles understood, he accepted.
So how did they get there?!
It was dark, the party was in full swing. The music resonated in several neighborhoods, bringing a festive and summer atmosphere to the small surrounding streets.
The roof of Miles' building was a venue often used for these types of events, local residents were used to the noise at this time of year.
Except that this time, it wasn't large families and close friends who occupied it, but a group of rather special humans.
Pavitr and Gayatri had gotten engaged a week ago, and Miles offered his universe to start the festivities.
You would think that as a Spider-local, Miles would be fully present that night, chatting with the others and not moving out of the dancefloor.
Instead, he had snuck up under the water tower, staying away.
How could you blame him when she was there, after what had happened?
His warm body pressed against hers, her hot breath tickling his lips...
He shook his head sharply.
It only took a few minutes before someone joined him.
“Are you two going to dance around each other for a long time?
— And you, how long will you stay on my nerves about that ?
— ‘Til I get the wedding announcement."
Hobie was a great friend, Miles knew that. But sometimes he wishes he’d keep certain thoughts to himself (he won't, he was Hobie).
“You can deny it as much as you want, I know there's something odd in the air. Well, it's not like I'm the only one who feels it.
—What does that imply ?
— That everyone here can feel your sexual tension."
He would have rather preferred his guest to be Pavitr. Pavitr would have said romantic, and he was so used to it that he would have easily tolerated it.
Her hands, which he had initially pressed against the wall above her head, now gripped his cheeks so that he would never leave their kiss .
Of all the words he could have chosen, why this one?
"Stop bullshitting.
— “Stop bullshitting”, he says. As much as I like my drummer, I can recognize her flaws, and she is officially the worst liar in history.
— And so ?
— And so I know she's lying when she says nothing happened between you and her.
— Oh great, so we're going to base this lame discussion on your super psychoanalyst skills ?"
Hobie only let out a mocking laugh in response.
Yeah, Miles wasn't a good liar either.
“Anyway, it would be cool if you could clear the air quickly.
— Why are you so involved in it?
— The sooner this is over, the sooner Gwendy will be fully into her music again."
It was a half-truth. Hobie cared deeply for his friends. And Miles wished that tonight he would have cared a little less.
“You know what pal ? You’re right... I’m going back to the party.
— Behind you, Peter Pan."
Coming back down with the others, Miles was greeted by the young engaged couple. They spoke for several minutes, probably fifteen, especially about the wedding which should take place in a few months.
“Hey, Gwen, join us!”
Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! Not Gwen!!
He turned around and his eyes met hers. The young woman was obviously reluctant to come over, knowing that it was best for them. But Gayatri started to insist, so Gwen finally walk closer.
And although they were on the same line, they both established a… “safe distance” between them.
The initial discussion resumed, but the obvious tension between Miles and Gwen was impossible to avoid, making the whole thing a little more awkward. But Gayatri did everything to alleviate it as much as possible, and the two concerned thanked her inwardly.
The young fiancée also gave her companion several looks, looks full of meaning.
‘Don’t say a word.’
Pavitr's slight obsession with the relationship between Gwen and Miles was known to everyone, in fact it was one of the first things he alluded to when he met Miles five years ago. So she knew very well that a single remark could change everything, and he easily intercepted the message.
But suddenly his eyes squinted.
“Gwen, is that… is that a hickey?”
Maybe not enough, actually...
Gayatri looked at him half-shocked and half-angry, disappointed to see that her efforts had just been wasted by her lover's lack of tact.
Gwen immediately hid it, her face turned crimson red and she looked away.
Miles felt cold sweat running down his back. The new fiancée pretended not to see that both of them were flooded by embarrassment.
"Oh that ? No, it's just... I burned myself with my straightener!
— But your hair is wavy?
Gayatri restrained herself from hitting her own face.
“We can't all have your amazing hair, you know? haha. It never lasts long on mine.”
Yeah, Hobie was right. Gwen was humanity's worst liar.
Finally, they moved away because it was time for the “long-awaited” speech.
The other two stood there, not knowing who should take the first step in the opposite direction to let them breathe (Miles felt like he had been holding his breath for the last few minutes).
Gwen did it.
“I…I’m going there. Sit down a bit. I'm uh, a little tired.
— Oh, yeah of course. Hmm… See you later I guess.
— Uh yeah, haha, see… see you.”
And so she left.
On god, could their only interaction over the last three weeks could have been even more awkward?
His pelvis rubbed against hers desperately, neither wanting the other to move away by fear of dampening the flame.
‘Think of something else damn it!’
He nibbled the sensitive skin on her neck, near her left ear, leaving a third mark. She made a strangled but pleasure-laden noise.
‘Damn, focus, Miles!’
It was as if his work was never finished: he wanted to repaint her body with his hickeys. And the way she said his name didn't help matters.
Mi-Miles…
“Miles!
— What ?!"
He shouted out in surprise. Everything went silent, and he realized that people were waiting for him to respond.
Peter, who took him out of his reverie, said a few words to him.
“Pavitr was thanking you for being a groomsman at the wedding.
— Oh, no problem, Pav'! My pleasure.”
The young man smiled back and continued his speech, pretending nothing just happened.
Miles turned his head to the right where he saw Gwen, who had a little mocking grin. But when she saw the young man's dilated pupils, she understood instantly and her smile disappeared.
Yeah, there was nothing to laugh about.
Miles honestly didn't know how they ended up on that couch.
It had been placed there on purpose, out of the way, so that those who wanted to take a break could sit comfortably.
But the fact is, although they spent the entire evening avoiding each other, they were both there. Sitting side by side, uncomfortable and visibly overwhelmed by the situation.
Miles let out a long sigh before slumping back, his shoulders drooping.
Gwen did not imitate him.
But once again, she was the first to speak.
“I…I missed you Miles.”
She dared to turn her eyes slightly towards him, wanting to judge his reaction. To say he was surprised was an understatement, he didn't even expect her to say anything. For a few seconds, it was silent again. Gwen began to cower, regretting having spoken.
Miles realized this immediately.
“I missed you too, Gwen.”
Her body relaxed at his words, and he knew he had made the right choice.
“I’m sorry about earlier, she continued.
— What do you mean ?
— I did everything to hide them but… I think the makeup must have come off.”
‘Hide them.’ She refused to say precisely what she was talking about, as if that would change their situation, but Miles obviously knew what she was talking about.
Now that Gwen was on his left, he had a magnificent view of the famous hickey that had caused them trouble an hour earlier.
How insistent had he been that the mark was still there, albeit faded, after three weeks?
The poor girl must have fought to hide them during the last days, especially with an ex-cop father under the same roof.
“No, I’m sorry. It’s my fault after all.”
She opened her mouth and took a breath, about to respond, but she seemed stuck on the words, and took a break after several failed attempts.
“I have something else to tell you,” she said after several seconds of silence.
‘She changes the subject…’
‘Um sure, go ahead
— I took a test, just in case.
— A test ?
— Yes Miles, a test.
— What test? I don’t understand Gwen.”
Gwen had an exasperated look on her face, as if she wanted to scream the answer at Miles. But she held back at the last second, knowing that although this couch was quite far away, if she raised her voice a little, anyone could hear her.
“A pregnancy test, Miles.”
Her voice squeaked between her teeth.
His eyes widened and he felt the cold sweat returning.
“And… how did it turn ? he dared to ask the question, his voice trembling with nervousness.
— Negative, don’t worry.”
He let out a second long sigh, this time of relief.
“But I still wanted you to know. I'll go see a doctor, just in case, but... I don't think there's anything to worry about.
— I…I see.”
Then again, Miles would be lying if he said the thought of a possible pregnancy hadn't crossed his mind more than once. He had just tried to push it away as far as possible. So this announcement from Gwen was a huge weight off his mind.
So even after all that, it’s like she can still read him like an open book.
Perhaps it’s precisely because of what happened that she’s doing even better.
'Shut up, he thought to himself.”
“That… That must have been hard for you.
— What are you talking about ?
— Take the test. Alone, I mean. I should have been with you."
‘It was the least I could do.’
“It’s okay Miles, it’s not like I warned you anyway.”
After saying all that, it's like a weight has been lifted off her chest. But they both knew there was a lot left unsaid between them.
She still allowed herself to sink into the sofa, now at the same level as him.
They stayed like that for several minutes, looking at the few stars visible despite the usual light pollution of New York.
One day, he will take her to see a real starry sky.
He realized, as he thought this, that he had been observing her for an indefinite amount of time.
'Stop hiding Miles, you'd be lucky if she even wants to see you again.'
“You like the view? she asked, daring a smirk.
— Um yes, it’s uh, quite stunning, he replied, pretending not to understand the double meaning of the question.”
He was even surprised by her audacity.
She hummed a small laugh in response.
She turned her head towards him, abandoning her celestial observation to look into his eyes. He did the same, and swallowed a little. She licked her lips. They both moved closer and-
Screams rang out behind them as the cork of the bottle of champagne that Peter had just opened popped a little harder than expected, splashing around ten people in the process.
This incident had the effect of a cold shower for both. They backed away as quickly as they got closer, staying at the ends of the couch.
“I think we should clear things up, you and I. We’re friends , she said, putting too much emphasis on the last word.”
His heart fell violently to the bottom of his chest and his eyes seemed to be empty of all emotion. He didn't think, three years ago, that his heart could be even more broken, but here they are.
This was sort of the third time that Gwen Stacy had openly dismissed Miles Morales' obvious feelings, and the second time he felt stabbed.
Because where the first time they were just two teenagers with lives far too complicated to be in a relationship, this time they were two adults incapable of dealing with an event that could shatter the friendship so dear to them. in a snap of the fingers.
Because this time, Gwen Stacy was rejecting him not to come back later, at the right time, but to flee. Run away from him.
" Right ? she asked again, more cautiously this time, when he still hadn't answered her, too busy sorting through the intrusive thoughts.
— Yeah, friends , he said after a long breath.
He needed all his concentration not to run off to his childhood room right now and make sure he never saw her again.
Not because he hated her, downright the opposite actually.
He wanted to run away too because he knew he was incapable of facing Gwen, while they pretended to be just friends while his body screamed at him to hold on to her and never let her go again.
The atmosphere, which had relaxed slightly (and ironically) after the blonde's little joke, became stifling again after her apparent lie.
And this time, it was he who escaped by leaving the roof, leaving her alone with herself on this old sofa facing the void.
When he arrived at their apartment, he slammed the door, taking all his frustration out on it.
His parents, luckily, weren't home today (“romantic dinner,” they told him), so no one could blame him.
He also closed his bedroom door, more quietly this time, wanting some privacy even if no one was there.
He undressed to just his boxers, ready to fall asleep. As he settled into bed, he realized that he hadn't even said goodbye to Pavitr and Gayatri, or anyone else.
Not even to Gwen.
He regretted leaving her alone, leaving without a word.
'We are friends .’
The word seemed like venom being spat in his face.
The regrets will be for a next time.
In a final burst of clarity, he sent a message of apology to Pavitr, saying he was sorry but that he was not feeling well. He also congratulated them for the umpteenth time on their engagement.
After only a few seconds, the two lovebirds told him there was no problem and that they just hoped he would get better quickly.
'If only they knew…'
For once, he would have liked Pavitr to play the “matchmaker” (maybe they would have made a move and, as Hobie said, “clear the air”).
Before turning off his phone for the night, he looked at Gwen's contact for several seconds, hesitating whether to send her a message.
He turned it off after a minute.
He placed the phone on his bedside and pulled the thin sheet over his legs. And while he searched for sleep, he tried to ignore what had been eating away at him for the past few weeks.
He absolutely wanted to continue his painting, but the top of Gwen's costume hindered his progress. It took him a second to remove it and her bra, and another one to pounce on her small, perky breasts, before he heard her let out the most beautiful moan he had ever heard.
'Shit !'
He was screwed.