Chapter Text
It was torturous, being pulled from time to time, both physically and mentally.. Loki could feel when it was going to start, and then it was a bright moment of burning agony before he was in yet another location, desperately looking for someone he might recognise in yet another unknown world. One moment he was practising control with O.B, or A.B or whatever he was called in his new world, and now he was standing on a cliff, overlooking a small harbour town.
He wondered briefly if this was Sylvie's new life, perhaps she had grown weary of McDonalds….
Looking around, and then at his hands, it seemed that he was to remain here for the time being, and so he made his way down a winding path towards the town to attempt to locate one of his new friends.
The town was small, but pretty. It reminded him a little of the Nordic towns he would visit with his brother so many years ago now, though the children sat on a fountain on their smartphones indicated it was definitely not. Loki looked around, curious as to where this place was. It had not been part of his timeslips thus far .
As he wandered he began to get the feeling he was being observed as he walked. Looking around, he noticed a few people who walked past were pointing at him, and whispering amongst themselves. He began to feel that he might even recognise some of them.
This was new. He’d only recognised one person per slip before, but he also couldn’t bring any of these peoples names to the forefront of his mind, just that they looked vaguely familiar.
Loki nearly jumped out of his skin when a huge hand came down on his shoulder.
He was fairly certain he didn’t recognise the gigantic rock man who was currently speaking at him enthusiastically, gesturing with one hand with a crate of beer in the other. He managed to focus on what this giant creature was saying, though it still did not make much sense.
“...can’t believe it’s really you, he’s going to be so happy, at least I hope so he hasn’t been great lately but if not I’ve got some more beers, you need to come have a brewski and tell us what happened and how you’re here, this is amazing!”
The boisterous happy rock man took hold of Loki’s arm, pulling him towards an alleyway, whilst Loki tried to explain he had no idea what was happening, but getting a word in with the man…rock? was impossible.
Everything became clear when they entered a small house, the rock man pulling him through a small corridor and yelling
“Thor! You’re never going to believe this!”
Loki froze, staring at the man on the sofa who he had last laid eyes on when he was muzzled and bound.
Thor stared back at him. This wasn’t his Thor. The man in front of him was depressed, tired, beaten down and world-weary. This Thor didn’t belong to him, this Thor belonged to the Loki who had stood up to Thanos, the Loki who had finally been a hero, the Loki from the Sacred Timeline..
The Loki who had died.
Thor stood up slowly, approaching Loki and Loki remained frozen, unsure what to do. He didn’t know this man, he had no right to him, but he still wanted to reach out to him, tell him he missed him, he wanted to hold him and apologise, for everything, for anything and never leave again.
Thor eyed him warily, and behind him Loki could see the stone man ushering another creature out of the room, leaving him alone with this down-trodden version of the God of Thunder.
Finally, he spoke, a single blue eye staring at Loki. Just the one,the other was now brown.. How had Loki just noticed that?
"You're not him, are you?" Thor says quietly and Loki remembers that the man was never quite as stupid as he let everyone believe. "You are, but you're also not."
"No" Loki agrees quietly "But I know what happened to him. I know what you lost."
"Why did you come here?" Thor sighs "Is this a game, or some special kind of torture?"
"It was largely involuntary, if I am honest with you, but it does not mean I didn't want to see you."
And oh he did. After the TVA had shown him the future he had lost out on when he picked up the Tesseract, he found himself longing for his mother, his brother, even Odin, though still certainly not as much as the former two.
It was a cruel state of affairs that the timeslip chose to give him the most pathetic form of his brother.
Maybe this wasn't for him though. Perhaps this was for Thor. He approached slowly, this Thor wary and cautious as Loki reached an arm out and touched his skin.
He was as warm as ever.
"Thor, it is me, as much as it can be in this timeline."
Thor looked at him in confusion, and Loki explained as quickly and concisely as he could, unsure how much time the slip would allow him to have. Thor didn't look entirely like he understood but he did his best to listen and not interrupt, and by the time Loki had finished, it felt like some of that obscene weight had lifted from the other man's shoulders.
“So, in another time, you managed to escape us following the battle of New York, which caused this…TAV to capture you and prevent you changing anything further from their ‘sacred timeline’.”
“That’s about the crux of it” Loki debated correcting Thor on the pronunciation of the TVA, but it didn’t seem that important in the grand scheme of things. His knowledge of what happened in this timeline ended at the death of his Sacred Variant. He had to know what happened to so utterly defeat the Mighty Thor.
He stepped forward, closer into Thor’s space, moving his hand from the man’s arm to his face. Thor tensed briefly as he moved, before he relaxed, face pressing into Loki’s palm.
“What happened to you, brother?” Loki said gently “I saw nothing beyond….myself. What happened after you lost…him.”
Loki nearly jumped out of his skin as Thor surged forward, and he tensed briefly, hand about to reach for a dagger that wasn’t there.
There was a lot of history between them after all.
To his surprise, he was folded into Thor’s embrace, the larger man burying his face into Loki’s shoulder. He felt tears through his shirt, but Thor’s voice, though quiet, remained steady.
“Everything. I lost everything. I lost Mother, then Father, and Asgard.” Thor clutched him tighter. “The ship was all I had left. Our people…and you.”
Thor pulled back, his watery gaze meeting Loki’s, and Loki felt his eyes begin to tear in return as Thor gripped the back of his head, fingers curling into Loki’s hair.
“I lost you. No tricks, or illusions, just Thanos and the stones and…. I lost you for good. And now you are here, yet you’re not and I cannot decide if it is wonderful or terrible.”
Loki sighed as he thought about Thanos. The Stones.
How the TVA had so many they used them as paperweights…
He gripped Thor’s arms tightly, giving him a weak smile.
“Perhaps this is just a brief ray between the clouds on a stormy day, to let you know…”
“The sun will shine on us again.” Thor choked out, interrupting him “That was the last thing you….he said to me.”
Thor pulled Loki in again, less of a hug and more of a crush, as if he held him tightly enough he might absorb him into himself and prevent him from any further harm.
They stayed like that for some time, until Loki sighed once more and tried to slowly peel Thor off him. As wonderful as it was to see his brother, after everything he had seen and learned during his time with the TVA, he had no idea when Time would abruptly rip him away from Thor again.
“Thor, I do not know how much time I have left. I cannot control when or where I am taken, but I need you to know I am sorry, I am so sorry and I need you to know.
“Oh Loki” Thor smiled, world-weary but with finally, a genuine light in his eyes “We discussed this, though you won’t know of it. Your actions at Ragnarok more than proved your remorse to me, and….Thanos confirmed it, but we also spoke at length on the ship. I forgave you”
Thor took Loki’s hands in his own, and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “And I forgive you again. I will forgive you as many times as you need me to, as long as you are here.”
At that, Loki let out a sharp sob.
“I know not how long I can stay, but I want to, Thor. I want to stay, I want.. I want..”
Loki pressed his face forward into Thor’s chest, unable to voice his thoughts. After the TVA, he had come to terms with the fact he would never see his family again, he’d never see Thor again. That life was over, and yet now, here in front of him Thor stood, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Thor said nothing, but rubbed his back soothingly, pressing his lips to Loki’s head. As Loki began to calm, his breath evening out, he pulled back, ashamed. How childish he must seem, crying to the point of breathlessness like a child throwing a tantrum.
“I’m sor..”
“Stop apologising.” Thor said firmly, meeting Loki’s eyes. Loki looked back, face sore and wet and observed the other man’s face, brushing a strand of blonde hair away from the brown eye.
“It’s strange to see.” He ran a thumb under the eye “but it suits you, in some peculiar way…”
Loki trailed off, staring at Thor’s bi-coloured eyes, unsure of what to say next.
Thor resolved the issue for him by leaning in and pressing his lips to Loki’s, gentle, but firmly with no hesitation. Loki gaped, slack-jawed in shock, unable to react as Thor pulled him closer, wrapping his arms fully around him and using his slack-jawed gasp as an opportunity to slip his tongue between Loki’s lips, just barely, before pulling back, meeting Loki’s eyes without a blink.
Loki ummed and ahhed, looking for words, but his mind couldn’t seem to formulate any coherent sentences.
“Thor…”He finally breathed “what was…I do not understand”
He could not deny, in weaker moments in the past that he had admired his brothers glow from afar, the almighty Thor was magnetic, and once he discovered they had no bloody relation, had once or twice let his mind wander down a path that ended a lot more happily for the two of them.
Perhaps, with all these mysterious new timelines, that future existed for them once upon a time…
But this Thor, this Loki. This was never on the cards for them.
“I know my own feelings, and I know enough of his to hope that it might also be true of you.” Thor took a step back and took Loki’s hand, running his fingers over his knuckles, gentle and soft in spite of the war calloused fingers.
“This is always where we were meant to end up.”
Thor spoke in earnest, the light in him had been slowly returning the longer Loki remained, and he found himself crashing past that last mental hurdle which he thought had kept him sane. Surging up, Loki gripped Thor’s face, kissing him fiercely and holding him hard, as though he might be dragged away any moment.
He very well might…
Thor grasped him by his waist tightly, and Loki broke away from the kiss, gasping from the energy of it all. The things he had barely dared to hope, finally here, finally his.
And then he felt it, that horrible pulling sensation that meant he had around 20 seconds before Thor was lost to him again forever.
He panicked, pulling Thor to him, kissing him with a ferocity he had never expressed to a single lover before in all of his thousands of years of life.
“Thor, I can’t…it can’t be stopped, but I will return, believe me, I will come back for you…”
And he was gone.
“I promise...”
Loki trailed off lamely. He looked around at a quaint suburban neighbourhood, surrounded by trees and sunlight, and was overcome with the urge to punch violently at one of the lovely trees next to him.
He was about to relive his anger, and likely break his knuckles in the process when he heard a familiar voice.
Looking up, he saw Mobius…or not-Mobius, the jet-ski salesman. Another friend lost in time.
Steeling himself, he pressed his fingers to his lips, where he could still taste the remnants of Thor’s kiss, before beginning a determined march over to Mobius.
He had to save the timelines now more than ever.