Work Text:
Hermione stood in front of him with all her possessions packed in her trusty beaded bag (number eight). “Severus, I am sorry, but I am done. If you cannot accept my love at face value, if you cannot give back to me, there just is no point anymore. I had better leave before I shrivel up and die next to you from sheer loneliness.”
Severus felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over him with this unexpected announcement; the floor wobbled under him, and he couldn’t breathe. That was how she felt? Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.
The next thing he knew he was on the sofa; she was patting his cheeks and doing the routine FAST checkup to see whether he was having a stroke. He might actually have preferred that.
When he could breathe again, he hung onto her hand and said, “P-please stay a minute. You don’t know what you’re saying. Holding you has been the only time in my life I have ever felt... content. I- I cannot lose you.”
Hm. ”And what’s in it for me?” – “How is it not enough?” – “You want the list?” His eyes widened. She sighed, dug into her bag, and pulled out an actual list, “Pros and Cons”, five feet long in her still tiny handwriting. The “Pros” were four inches, the “Cons” all the rest. Oh God.
He started reading, and she went and made some tea. This was going to take longer than she thought. Good???
A few things seemed ridiculous to him, but a general picture emerged- she didn’t feel seen or cherished. Implicit trust and physical comfort were not enough for her.
“I- I don’t know how I could change all that.” – “Would you accept help?” – “How?” – “Couples’ therapy.” – “Explain?” – “There are qualified people to help a couple to overcome serious problems, most of which are down to poor communication and unhelpful habits. One typically goes once a week, or twice a month or such.” – “And if that doesn’t work?” – “Then we can say we tried our best instead of just giving up.” – “How long does it take?” – “Depends. Could be a couple of years.” – “And where would you… be during that time?” – “In the beginning, elsewhere. I need a break. If we feel we are understanding each other better, we could try living together again, to see whether we can put the new knowledge into practice. If we…” – “Yes, yes, yes, where do I sign? Where do we find such a person?” – “I only know about muggle ones, but maybe we are lucky and find a squib. We need to share the cost. I will look around and let you know.”
She finished her tea and left the house. He let her. The door klicked. He looked at the fireplace, unfelt tears running down his face. This was worse than with Lily- Hermione had reciprocated his...regard, after all, and so it went much deeper. Surely she had been... happy with him sometimes? But it was also better than with Lily- he was being given a chance.
He clung to those four inches.