Chapter Text
“Hello, sir, welcome to McDoo oohhhhhly shit …”
Thel 'Vadam had gotten used to the way that humans reacted to his presence on Earth. It wasn’t that long ago since a good chunk of the planet’s population had been outright terrified of him and his kind arriving on their doorstep, with many still carrying the wounds of the conflict that had yet to fully settle. A month ago, he would have understood it as a response purely out of either terror or distrust, even a few years after hostilities had ceased.
More recently, though, the responses had become… different .
Retirement hadn’t been kind to Thel. The Sangheili that had once worn the sacred armour of the holy Arbiter into battle now sported a paunch that would have burst clean out of it, along with most of the civilian clothes that he had brought with him when he settled down on Earth for good. Even human clothing shops had become a gamble at this point - apparently, even in the XL tiers and beyond, it simply wasn’t designed to accommodate a Sangheili with his generous distribution of body fat. The admittedly-comfy t-shirt he had managed to modify into one suiting his frame was doing its best, but he had more fast-food-softened belly to offer than the garment had material to cover it.
If any humans had ever questioned whether his species had belly buttons, now they had their answer.
After a moment to get his breath back from the gruelling uphill walk - with a few wrong turns, mostly thanks to his lack of inherent knowledge about how human city planning worked - Thel returned the cashier’s stare with his own look of curiosity. “This is where I can buy, hm… hams burgers, yes?”
“Uhh… y-yeah.” The human worked themselves out of their dumbfounded gawking, flashing a glance to another of their co-workers with an expression that Thel didn’t entirely understand. “Yes, sir. Clearly you’re a-”
“A Sangheili warrior.”
“Yeah, so, uh… if you need any help with the menu, just…”
It would have been insulting if it hadn’t been offered with genuine sincerity. Regardless of his fitness, Thel 'Vadam wasn’t to be underestimated - but he admittedly had a very limited understanding of what food was actually on offer. Even the few human friends he kept in close contact with found it a struggle to explain certain dishes to him, but he considered that more of a cultural context failure rather than a mistake on their part.
Like it or not, a Sangheili like him had to adapt slowly. The simple act of going to a new food chain was a learning experience, a chance to try something new and learn to better understand the human culinary arts a the same time.
The menu was gibberish, as usual, with only a few items offering recognisable names. Most of them seemed to be branded, a trend he had found particularly difficult to navigate around.
“...what is your most popular form of hams burgers?”
“It’s, uh, pronounced hamburger, sir.” A smirk was forming on the server’s face, but Thel didn’t blame them, not when he had gotten so much amusement out of watching humans innocently struggle to understand his own culture. “And that would be the Big Mac, usually in a meal-”
“Mac. Is that not the weapon your kind used on our vessels in the war?”
“I… wouldn’t know, sir. I just man the counter.”
Confidence was key. Thel wanted to integrate into human society properly, and that meant behaving like he belonged there, rather than stumbling over his words and coming across as an uneducated tourist. The last time he had eaten out a few weeks ago, he had ordered ten pieces of poultry nuggets and found the quantity overwhelming, and his years of tactical experience told him that overestimating was always better than underestimating.
“Then I will take twenty of these Big Mac meals you speak of. May I eat them in this establishment?”
“Wait, what? Uh, yeah, but you realise that twenty meals is a lot of-”
“Do not worry about the cost.” Slipping his newly-issued credit card out of the bag slung via a strap over his chest - or, rather, straining around his gut - Thel offered it to the register. “I have budgeted for these occasions.”
“That’s not what I-”
Thel simply pressed the card against the scanner and waited for the beep, then turned to find a table. Every time he had eaten out at a human restaurant, regardless of whether the food was ‘fast’, they had always second-guessed his choice and attempted to offer something meant specifically for ‘alien visitors’ like him. It was yet another understandable attempt at politeness that he found marginally insulting, and he was not about to be second-guessed.
—
Thel was beginning to realise why the human had been so nervous.
The mountain of food currently filling his table from end to end was nothing short of obscene, a pile of paper boxes and containers complemented by a nigh-undrinkable number of liquid serving containers. The first three on their own had looked like a bit too much for a single meal, but now that he had been fully served, he was starting to wonder where exactly he had gone wrong. All eyes were on him - or, rather, his food - and the peer pressure was enough to make even his spine heat up from the embarrassment of being thrust into the spotlight.
“Well… a lesson learned for next time.”
Muttering to himself for no reason other than his own encouragement, he slipped one of the trays closer and cracked open the tiny box, the smell of deep-fried beef and melted cheese assaulting his nose and sending a rumble through his gut. It was the same sensation that had rocked through him every other time he had even come near this 'faster' food, some kind of unrestrained hunger that had only gotten worse now that he had packed on a few pounds in his retirement.
If humans really ate like this, it was no surprise that he had gotten rather portly. The fact that humanity's soldiers had even been able to squeeze into their armour was a testament to their own self-restraint.
Turning the burger over in his hand and taking a peek at the contents, Thel felt his stomach groan in hunger again at the mere sight of what he had been served. It was hard to describe, but something about the array of ingredients looked moreish even before he had taken his first bite. Such simple ingredients - simple meat, simple vegetables, and a yeast bun - crafted into a masterpiece.
It was the first bite that he had anticipated the most. He hadn't known what to expect from human food, and had been pleasantly surprised when he had tried something called a 'pizza' a few weeks ago, but the elusive burger had always been a mystery to him. After a moment of hesitation to make sure that his palate was prepared, he leant in and took his first bite, his four mandibles taking a moment to find an angle that worked.
The moment he bit down, a rush of flavours and textures overwhelmed him, sending a kick of satisfaction to his brain in a way that very little of his own species' food ever had. As soon as he swallowed, he was back to taking another bite, the signals of need from his stomach overpowering all other impulses.
"This - mmfh. - is a true delicacy. Humans are - mmh - truly masters of their craft."
There was no shame in indulgence, at least not somebody as accomplished as Thel 'Vadam. Each mouthful was like a taste of heaven, a burst of flavour and texture that was both satisfying and utterly delicious. Little by little, his own self-restraint began to falter as he felt himself chewing and swallowing practically on autopilot, the salt and grease and sauce and texture somehow jumbling his thoughts into a haze of pure bliss. Bite by bite, he began to forget that he was surrounded by dozens of humans staring at him with varying degrees of shock and fascination, his mind focusing solely on the pleasure of his indulgence.
Before he knew it, he had finished the first burger and was already reaching for the second, his hands snatching up the box without him even having to look for it. He had specifically avoided eating anything in the past eight hours so that he could really enjoy this human food with a clean palette, but that had just left him with a gnawing pit in his stomach that this food was simultaneously filling but not actually lessening .
Either Sangheili cooking had gotten bland to him after a lifetime of eating the same meals day after day, or humanity had discovered a new level of culinary perfection. He couldn't decide which, but the more he ate, the less he cared about either option.
The second burger was just as delicious as the first, and by the time it was gone, the third was already in his hand. The salt was beginning to get to his throat, and that gave him the perfect opportunity to sip from one of odd cups he had been provided with, the bubbling brown liquid inside barely visible through the barley-translucent lid that held it there.
It took him a moment to navigate the straw, but the first sip was a revelation. The immediate sweet, fizzing taste was unlike anything he had ever had before, carrying a flavour that he couldn't place but immediately wanted more of. Whatever it was, it was refreshing in a way that only made sense to his body, and within moments he was draining the entire cup dry, the bubbles tickling his throat in the most satisfying way possible.
The burger in his hand drew his attention back to eating, and before long, he was caught in a cycle. Thel didn't consider himself a slave to his own urges, but it was getting increasingly difficult to ignore the hunger pangs, and his self-control was fading fast. Even with his extra paunch, he hadn't expected to be able to eat this quickly for so long, and he could only chalk it up to the food itself being lighter than it actually was - a fact that he was taking full advantage of.
By the time he had reached his sixth burger and downed about two and a half drinks, his stomach was starting to feel just a little bit rounded. Even as he continued to chomp away, he could feel his body sending him a confusing mix of signals, telling him that he was full yet reminding him that he wasn't weighed down like he had been with the steak dinners at human-run diplomatic events. It was an odd sensation, but Thel wasn't about to stop, not when the craving to keep going was so unrelentingly strong.
"Excuse me, sir, but-"
One of the employees - the server from earlier - was standing over him, looking a little bit nervous. Thel paused, his third drink’s straw perched in his mouth.
"...management asked me to, uh, check in on you. To see if you're okay."
" Mm ?" Thel swallowed and withdrew the cup, a small involuntary moan of satisfaction leaving his throat as the cool liquid coated the inside of his throat. "Absolutely, human. Your food is truly delicious ."
"No, not the food, uh, sir. You." The server motioned towards the table, which was still littered with a small army's worth of burger boxes and containers. "If you want, we can bag some of this up for you so that you can take it home for-"
"That won't be necessary." Thel's voice was firm. His hand was already reaching for the next box, and the hunger hadn't faded. If anything, the fact that someone was potentially to stop him was only making him hungrier. "I shall finish what has been brought to me."
"O-okay. Well, if you need anything else, just, uh, let me know."
"I will do so."
With that, Thel went back to eating, the irritation of being interrupted immediately fading as he got another bite of hamburger. He was beginning to understand why humans found this kind of food so addictive, even after what must have been only a small meal. There was something so satisfying about the flavour and texture, a blend of fat and salt and grease working to create a food that somehow tasted better than a healthier meal could. He had experienced many human foods since his retirement - his waistline was proof enough - but this was the first one that he had truly felt like savouring, and the urge to keep going was almost too strong to resist.
By the time he had finished his thirteenth burger, Thel was starting to slow down. Even with his ample stomach space thanks to a few months of relaxing and indulging, there were limits, but the moreish properties of what he was eating had somehow spurred him on regardless. The tightness across his waistline was counteracted by the fact that he didn't actually feel heavy or sluggish - it was as if he had filled up on the flurry Sanghelios-grown grain porridge that he had enjoyed in his youth, only with a flavour exceeding even the most delectable homecooked meal.
The only reason he was slowing down was because he could feel his stomach tightening.
Slumped back in the far-from-ideal chair and patting one hand against his middle, Thel took another bite of the fourteenth burger from the pile. He could feel the surface of his middle having turned taut, the layer of post-retirement plush across his waistline doing little to hide the obvious distention of his belly. Every breath made his bulging stomach gently rise and fall in turn, occasional busy grumbles escaping the surface as it tried to digest the unfamiliar foodstuff.
Had he been this stuffed with his own people's food, he would have called it a night and taken a long sleep to let his body digest. But somehow, through the still-unknown science of human fast food, he had room to keep going.
Digging into another burger and chasing it down with a fizzy drink, Thel found himself unable to stop the pattern, the combination of sugar and fat and salt working together to constantly open up just enough space for a little more. Halfway through the brain-wreckingly-delicious hamburger, his eyes drifted to the odd packets of 'fries' that he had previously ignored, the immediate impulse to try them winning out over his own faltering self-restraint.
He hadn't even realised that his pants were feeling tight until he tried to lean forwards and grab a packet, his bulging stomach squeezing against the edge of the table as he awkwardly fumbled one of the fry packets into his grasp. He had heard that fries were supposed to be good, but had always considered them to be something he would try at a later date - but now that they had been served to him, he had no reason not to partake.
As the first greasy, salty, crunchy cuboid strip found its way to his mouth, Thel's eyes went wide with the realisation that he had found something truly delicious for the third time that night. Another attempt, this time coated in the crimson-red sauce that he had been served along with them, only made the flavour all the more overwhelming. Before he knew it, he had devoured the entire packet of starchy sticks, and was already reaching for the next one with a groan of contentment.
His pants were definitely getting tighter. Even his oversized shirt was straining far more than it had been when he had walked in the door, the fabric stretched taut around his midsection and riding up to reveal a hefty chunk of grey flesh peeking out above his beltline, but Thel didn't care.
This was the best meal he had had since his retirement, and he was going to enjoy every last bite.
—
The groaning from Thel's obscenely overstuffed stomach were matched only by the half-panted moans of agony-laced pleasure leaving his exhausted throat. He had never felt this engorged with starch and meat and bread and whatever else he had been cramming into his maw, but that moreish sensation had gotten no less powerful, not even with his stomach distended to the point that it was pressed tight against the table edge.
Moaning loudly as he forced down another mouthful of hamburger, Thel felt his tightly-stretched gut swell just a little further, a deep churning gurgle working its way out of his middle as he followed it up with a handful of fries.
The Sangheili's breathing was coming in shallow pants, the pressure inside him becoming more and more pronounced as he continued to pack himself full of fast food. At this point, he was moving purely on autopilot, his mind clouded with the rush of sugar and salt that was sending him into a blissful, overstuffed haze. The aching overfullness across his bulging belly was starting to overtake the diminished returns of pleasure he felt with each bite, but the desire to keep going - a choice made entirely due to uncharacteristic gluttony - was somehow stronger.
As he slowly and unsteadily swallowed the final bite of his twentieth burger, Thel's stomach growled in protest, the tightness around his waistline almost unbearable. One hand was idly running uneven circles around the curve of his engorged stomach, while the other was fumbling for the straw of his umpteenth cup of soda, his fingers clumsy and sluggish as they tried to fumble the straw into his mouth by shaking the cup until it was in the right position to drink from.
He had never felt so full in his life .
Thel's gut was a taut, rounded mass beneath his shirt, the curve of his stomach visibly rising and falling with each shallow, laboured breath. With each gulp of soda, he only compounded the problem further, the carbonation fizzing up and rapidly taking up any room he had spare. He looked so excessively rounded that he could practically feel his own digestive system clogged up with an excess of difficult-to-digest human food, the pleasure signals firing off to his brain doing their best to counteract the misery that his overstuffed stomach was going through.
A rush of air began to build at the base of his throat as Thel drew the cup away, wincing as he felt the pressure tighten on the upper curve of his stomach before it shifted higher. It was only a few seconds later that a loud, rumbling belch forced its way out of him, trailing off into a small sigh of pained relief as the pressure around his stomach lessened ever so slightly.
He had eaten enough for three , if not four , particularly hungry Sangheili. His gorging had left a pile of emptied containers and drained drink cups in its wake, the sight of the refuse serving as a reminder of how much he had managed to power through before hitting a wall that he couldn't push past.
With a pained grunt, Thel forced himself to try and sit upright, inadvertently squeezing the contents of his stomach inwards and then against the table. After a couple of rushed breaths and a few rubs to try and soothe his aching middle, Thel lazily turned his head to look at his human observers - most of whom were clearly either recording him, taking pictures, or frantically texting their friends about what they were seeing.
He could only hope that they were going to frame it as a famous Sanghelli conquering a battle of the stomach, rather than spreading lies about him 'letting himself go'.
With a groan of exhaustion and another small burp that slipped out alongside it, Thel leant back in his chair and patted his aching stomach, the bloated, stuffed mound barely shifting beneath his palm. He was practically too full to move, his bulging middle keeping him pinned in place. Even if it hadn't been, he was starting to doubt that he would be able to squeeze himself out of the seat he had crammed himself into, not without a lot of effort and some assistance from his fellow diners.
The haze of post-gluttony fatigue was beginning to settle over him, the drained energy that came with stuffing his stomach to its limits making him feel sleepy and sluggish. It had been a long, trying day, and with his food binge finally catching up to him, all Thel wanted to do was find somewhere comfortable to rest and digest.
Evidently, that was going to be in this very chair. He wasn't moving any time soon.
—
The Thel 'Vadam that stood in the mirror was significantly heavier than the Thel 'Vadam that had inhabited it only a week ago. Even with a stricter diet over the past few days, there was no hiding the fact that he had gorged himself into a bigger shirt size.
It was hard to deny your own gluttony when its results came in the form of a plumper, softer, heftier figure that nothing in your wardrobe could hide.
Pressing against the lower curve of his softened middle with one hand, Thel felt a pang of regret as he saw his fingers sink deep into the added plush on his waistline, the extra weight resting heavily across his middle more than anywhere else. There was an obvious softness to his thighs as well, but it was clear to see that most of the excess calories were now padding out his paunch - another step away from the toned and battle-tested warrior's body that he had once maintained.
The worst part was, he was starting to enjoy it.
Turning slightly to one side and watching his rounded belly jiggle slightly at the movement, he traced one hand over the curve of his midsection, letting his fingers dip into the chub just enough to appreciate how soft he had gotten. It was a sensation that he had never expected, a level of physical comfort that his warrior's body had never allowed him to experience.
And, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he liked the newfound softness.
With a sigh, Thel reached over to snatch a button-up from the clothing rack beside him, his heart starting to pound a little harder as he considered squeezing himself into it for his weekly trip out to try some more human food. Realistically, he was already far too large to fit into it comfortably, but the memory of having so many human bystanders watching him descend into gluttony had stuck with him for reasons he refused to examine any closer than he had to.
Even now, nude from the waist up, there was something inherently exciting about how large he had actually gotten - and, more specifically, the idea that others would be able to witness the rounder, heavier, fatter Than that he saw before him in the mirror.
For years, humanity had tried to best him in battle, whether that was fleets pitting their arsenals against one another or individual warriors throwing their lives away against the calculated swings of his glowing blade. For the first time in his life, Thel 'Vadam, ex-Arbiter and now retired war hero, felt like he had been completely and utterly outplayed by an enemy that he hadn't even known he was fighting.
And it felt incredible .