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Ghost jumps in his chair when his office door bangs open. He lifts his head, ready to shout at who ever interrupted him so rudely. The scowl on his face falls when he sees a panicked Gaz panting by the open door.
"What's wrong?" Ghost asks, standing and making his way to Gaz.
"Soap, something with Soap." Gaz pants, he had clearly sprinted to Ghosts office.
Ghost feels the blood drain from his face. Sudden panic making his breath hitch. He reaches out a hand, grabbing a still panting Gaz by his shoulder.
"Breath, slowly." Ghost instructs.
Gaz looks up into his eyes, Ghost's breath hitches again when he sees the fear in his eyes.
"Now tell me, what the fuck is happening." Ghost asks, panic seeping through every word.
Gaz closes his eyes, slowly breathing, calming himself as much as he can. Once he gets his breathing under control, he opens his eyes again and looks at Ghost, the fear still clear.
"We were eating in the mess. He got a message or something. I don't know, but what ever it was, it scared him. He went pale, and all but ran to his room He was muttering under his breath, I only heard cursing. He locked himself in his room. I tried to get in, but I couldn't." Gaz says, panic growing again.
"Shit." Ghost mutters.
Ghost turns and walks back to his desk. He opens the top drawer, grabbing the spare key he never needed. Johnny never locks his door.
Never.
With the key in his hand Ghost makes his way to Johnny's room. He knocks on the door, nothing. He tries the door knob, hoping Johnny was okay, that everything was normal. He sighs when he feels the door is still locked. He unlocks the door and makes his way inside.
The sight that greets him makes his heart stop. The fear he felt before, returning ten times worse.
Johnny pacing back and forth, pistol clutched in his hand. Other hand pulling at his hair. Every now and then he raises the gun towards his head, scratching his head. Muttering something under his breath, before he lowers it again. It's fucking terrifying. Ghost doesn't know what to do, he feels frozen, eyes seeing, but brain unable to process.
Johnny walks by his bed again, and that's when Ghost sees the pile of pill boxes. His eyes zero in, seeing the small heap of pills next to the boxes. It's all of Johnny's meds. Pain meds, anxiety and depression meds, mixed together. Ghost recognizes all of them, having given them to Johnny when he's been in medical.
What the fuck is happening!?
Ghost looks back to Johnny. His breath leaves him, small cry leaving his mouth when he sees Johnny raise the gun with purpose. Ghost moves before he can even think about it. He grabs the gun from Johnny's hand, disarms it and throws it to the ground.
Johnny lets out a broken cry and dives to grab the gun again, but Ghost grabs him first, holding him tightly to his chest. Johnny cries, scratching at the arms around him. He pleads for Ghost to let him go, for Ghost to let him finish.
Ghost feels his mask soaking up his own tears, he feels Johnny's nails scratch over his shirt, nicking the sliver of skin that is exposed. It feels like nothing. It's all nothing, when his heart feels like it's being crushed in his chest. When every plea that falls from Johnny's lips, every cry, every demand to let him go, kills him again, and again.
"Johnny?" Ghosts broken, wet voice pleads.
Johnny sags in his arms, sobbing. He sound so fucking hurt. So broken.
"What happened?" Ghost asks.
"They found out!" Johnny cries.
Ghost just feels confused, but whatever happened is enough to break his world.
"Tell me what, who knows." Ghost tries.
"They know! They know!" Johnny cries, trying to get out of Ghosts grip.
Ghost just holds him to his chest, looking as Johnny reaches out to the fallen gun.
"Breath Johnny, calm down for me. It's okay." Ghost tries to sooth him, and himself.
Johnny continues crying. He cries until he tires himself out, collapsing in Ghosts hold. Ghost drags him to his desk chair, letting him down. Johnny curls his arms around himself, still softly crying. Ghost grabs his phone, sending Gaz a quick text.
A minute or so passes, then there is a knock on the door. Ghost looks towards the open door, Gaz standing there, waiting. Ghost takes one of Johnny's bags, throws all the pills in. He grabs the pistol, looks down at the small skull engraving. His present to Johnny, and he was about to kill himself with it. With the gun Ghost gave him.
Ghost shakes himself out of the coming spiral. He puts it into the bag and walks over to Gaz.
"Take this. Keep it safe, keep it away." Ghost says, handing Gaz the bag.
Gaz takes the bag and looks into it. He looks confused for a second, the his face falls, horror making him pale. He looks at the weeping Scot, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes.
"Kyle, please." Ghost asks, drawing Gaz's attention.
Gaz looks at him and nods. He clutches the bag to his chest as he leaves, closing the door behind him.
Ghost looks back to Johnny. He's clutching his hair again, nails scratching over the shaved parts of his head. Ghost walks over to him again, kneeling in front of him. He grabs his hands, squeezing them in his hold.
"Tell me what happened. What do they know?" Ghost asks.
"They know about us." Johnny hiccups.
"Who knows about us?" Ghost asks.
Their relationship is an open secret. Johnny's always been afraid about people finding out. Ghost doesn't know why, but he respected his wishes to keep it secret. Price know, and Ghost knows there are higher ups that knows. He doesn't think Johnny knows about that part.
"I don't know!"
"How do you know they know then?" Ghost asks.
"Someone sent me an email. Earlier in the mess. Says they have photos of us together. That they'll send them to Price, to the higher ups." Johnny says, breathing picking up again.
"It's okay, breath for me love."
"It's not okay! It's not! You could lose everything! Your life will be ruined. Your career would be over. Because of me! You could lose everything! Because of me!" Johnny cries, standing and pacing around again.
Ghost lets him, the danger minimized for the moment.
"It's okay. Johnny, calm down, it's okay." Ghost tries to sooth again.
"It will be okay. If I'm gone, you did nothing wrong. You'll be okay. You can continue as if nothing happened." Johnny says, like he isn't breaking Ghosts heart.
Ghost looks as Johnny starts muttering to himself again, pacing around. He looks around his room, eyes never looking towards him. It's like he doesn't understand what's happening. Like he's not here with him. He might not be. What ever spiral he's in is making him irrational, detached.
Ghost grabs his phone again, calling Price.
"Ghost?" Price answers.
"Please help me." Ghost pleads.
"What's wrong son?"
"Gaz will know, please help me." Ghost pleads again, eyes never leaving Johnny.
Johnny suddenly stops his pacing, turning to look at his wall. He walks over to it, rubbing a hand over the rough texture. He hums, mutters something to himself again, then he places both hands on the wall. Ghost watches as he draws his head back and slams it onto the wall. Ghost drops his phone, shouts out Johnny's name. He runs over, grabbing Johnny as he goes for a second slam.
Blood drips from a tear over his eye, drips from his nose onto the floor. Johnny doesn't say anything, just moves with Ghost. Ghost falls to the floor, holding Johnny on his lap. Arms holding him tightly. After everything that's happened to him, this is the worst. This is by far the worst, and he doesn't know what to do.
"Ghost?" Price calls from behind the closed door.
"Please help." Ghost whispers, pleads, cries.
The door slowly opens, Price popping his head through, eyes widening.
Price pushes through the door, eyes focusing on the vacant look in both his soldiers eyes. The most worrisome is the blood dripping from Soaps face, and the look on Ghost face where he''s staring at the forming puddle.
Price can see Ghost's mouth moving, whispering something he can't hear.
"Gaz get Soap, I'll get Ghost." Price instructs, moving deeper into the room, knowing Gaz will follow.
"Please help, please help, please help, please help..." Ghost chants under his breath.
"Let go of him for me son." Price asks, placing his hands over Ghosts.
He can't help but look at Soaps face. The cut over his eye steadily bleeding. Nose already stopped bleeding. He doesn't know what happened, how Soap got hurt. But he know Ghost will never hurt him, not on purpose.
Ghost looks towards him with vacant eyes. Hands clutching harder onto Soap.
"Please help him, please help him." Ghost chants.
"We'll help him, you just need to let him go. Let Gaz take a look at him." Price says, stroking over Ghosts hands.
Ghost blinks, eyes losing that vacant look as he focuses on Prices words.
"You'll help him? Please, I don't know what to do." Ghost whispers, loosening his grip.
Gaz catches Soap when he falls from Ghosts arms.
"Shit." Gaz whispers as he tends to Soaps wounds.
Price looks over to Ghost again, seeing that haze covering his eyes again. His hands tremble in Price's hold, his breath hitching as he stumbles to breath normally. Price looks at Gaz, he's already patched Soap up, lifting him to lay him on his bed. Gaz look over to him and gives him a small nod.
"Come on son. He's resting. Gaz will look after him." Price says, lifting Ghost to his feet.
Ghost looks down at his shaking hands. Price grabs his hands again, squeezing them.
"Come on son." Price says again, leading him out.
"He's okay?" Ghost asks, looking back towards the sleeping Scot.
"Gaz has him. I have you." Price says, pushing him through the door.
"Gaz has him, You have me." Ghost says, nodding his head.
"That's right son. Let's get you to your room." Price says, helping him across the hallway and into Ghosts room.
Door unlocked like he knew it would be. He helps Ghost onto his bed. Removes his shoes and and helps his to lay down.
"Can I take off the mask son?" Price asks, as he lays Ghosts head on the pillow.
Ghost looks up at the ceiling in silence for a few seconds. Then he nods his head, eyes staying on the ceiling. Price gently removes the mask, noting how wet it is. He sucks in a breath at Ghosts red eye swollen eyes.
"There's my boy." Price coos.
Ghost eyes close around another wave of tears.
"I want to retire." Ghost whispers.
Price gives him a small, sad smile.
"I told you, when ever you are ready."
"I'm ready. I can't hurt him like this. He can't do this anymore." Ghost says, turning his head to look at Price.
Price still gives him the same sad smile.
"I know you said you'll keep him here. Help him serve with all his illnesses, but I understand now. I understand why he shouldn't be able to. Understand why I shouldn't be able to." Ghost looks at him, focused like he's on the battlefield.
"I would love to serve forever with you, with him, with Gaz. But I would rather know you are safe, and living your life." Price says, running a hand through Ghosts sweaty hair.
"I can't do this anymore. I can't see Johnny like this. I don't even know what really happened." Ghost says, tears running down his face.
Price wipes the tears from his face, holding his cheeks.
"You'll be okay. He'll be okay. We'll get him help, get you help. Then you can live. Gaz and I will always be here." Price says, leaning forward and tapping their foreheads together.
"Okay." Ghost whispers, closing his eyes.
"Rest, son. He'll be there when you wake up." Price whispers, leaning back to look as Ghost as he falls asleep.
Price makes his way back to Soaps room, finding Gaz stroking through Soaps hair, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. Price walks over to him, softly placing a hand on his shoulder. Gaz looks up at him, lip wobbling as he holds in his tears.
He looks over to Soaps desk, nodding his chin to Soaps phone, unlocked laying there. Price walks over and grabs it, looking at what has to be the reason for the mans breakdown.
'Sergeant MacTavish,
I know about the wrongs you are doing at night.
I see you sneaking across the hall.
I see the touches and the looks you give him.
A man you should not be with, Should not have.
I have taken photos, unmistakably showing your relationship.
I'll send them to the Captain, send them higher.
You will be ruined, he will be ruined.
I'll delete them, but only if you pay me.
Come to outside of mess hall B, tonight just after curfew.
If I don't see you, I'll send them.
You have been warned.'
Price curses as he places the phone back on the desk. He knows about them. It's a very badly kept secret. A secret Soap thought he kept tightly. Price understands why now. He also understands the depth of Soaps illnesses now, as well. Soap needs more help then he thought. Seeing as he fell so far over a clear scam. A scam that would have died with him.
"It's curfew in 10 minutes." Gaz says, drawing his attention.
Gaz turns to look at him, sadness from earlier covered with a burning rage. The same rage that burns within Price.
"Keep an eye on them. Ghost is sleeping, I don't think he'll be out for long. Call me if you need me." Price says, grabbing Soaps phone again.
"Yes Sir." Price hears as he leaves the room.
Price waits outside of the mess. A few feet away, so no-one can see him. He waits, watches. He sees two recruits stop in front of the mess.
"Looks like he didn't fall for it." One grumbles.
"He will. Let me send this to him, it will make him come." The other says, typing on his phone.
Soaps phone vibrates in his hand. Price opens the email.
You don't think I'm serious.
Times running out...
[Picture attached]
Price opens the picture. It's of Ghost, mask pulled up halfway, smiling down at Soap. Soap is looking up at him with a wide grin. Price can see it was taken in front of one of their rooms. Nothing serious, just a happy picture. But he knows, after seeing how Soap reacted already, this would stress him.
Price pockets the phone. Makes his way towards them, silently. He stops behind them, listening as they talk about the money they'll make.
"It's past curfew. What are you doing here!?" Price booms.
They jump, turning to face him. They look at him, scared.
"Nothing Sir."
"Nothing? Clearly you're waiting around for something." Price huffs.
The one who sent the email smiles. Looking like he got just what he wanted.
"We wanted to show you something. We believe some of your men are in a relationship. An illegal relationship. I have proof."
"If it's not a picture of them fucking, you have no proof. And I don't give a shit who's fucking who." Price growls.
"Oh, but I thinks you'll care if you know who. They're important to you." The man smiles, clearly thinking he has the upper hand.
"Ghost and Soap? I know, knew since the start. Still don't care."
The mans smile falls, his friend looking at him in shock.
"Now you go to my office. Give me your phone. You both are gonna be in a lot of trouble. Blackmail? Really men?" Price says.
They scurry to his office. It doesn't take long for Price to boot them. Such behavior isn't what he's looking for at base. With them gone, the threat that almost took a son from him, he goes back to said son.
When Ghost wakes, it's with a throbbing headache. He sits up, taking a few seconds before he stands. He slowly makes his way back to Johnny.
When he gets to Johnny's room he can hear soft voices from behind the closed door. Ghost knocks soflty before he enters. He finds Price sitting on Johnny's bed. Johnny resting with his head on his shoulder.
"How are you feeling, love?" Ghost asks, softly.
Johnny looks up, smile brightening his once fear covered face.
"As good as I can be. Price explained what happend. What I tried to do. I'm sorry, my love." Johnny says, face turning serious.
"I just want you to be okay. That's all I want. Just you, forever." Ghost says, sitting down at Johnny's other side.
"I know. I'm sorry I forgot how much I meant. At that moment, I don't know. I thought you would hate me if pictures got out. Stupid, I know. For fuck's sake, I knew Price knew. I was just afraid." Johnny sighs.
"It's okay, love." Ghost smiles.
Price humms, stroking his hair. Johnny sighs again, closing his eyes.
"I think I'm ready to retire." Johnny says, eyes still closed.
"And I'll follow you, everywhere."
Johnny gives a small smile as he lets himself fall asleep again.
Ghost looks at Price. He's looking down at Johnny with so much love. Those same eyes, filled with love, looks up to him.
Ghost know it will be okay. He's not alone. Johnny is not alone.
They have their family.