Work Text:
Blood
Estel knew that he should not be doing this. Or, at least, he knew that his Ada had forbidden him from it. The problem, he supposed later, was that knowing it was forbidden and really knowing that he should not do it was not quite the same thing in his mind.
Ada thought that Tallagor was not yet ready to be ridden.
Estel thought Tallagor was long past ready.
Or, at least, Estel knew that he himself was long past ready for Tallagor to be ready and perhaps he did not give much thought at all to Tallagor’s opinion on the subject. Later, much later, that would be one of the things he felt sorriest about.
As it was, he only considered his own opinion as having any merit.
That was why, when Elrond was out for a quick hunt one afternoon, he took it upon himself to saddle Tallagor.
Tallagor, sweet young horse that he was, stood patiently while Estel slipped on his bridle and tightened all the necessary buckles. He only shifted a little when Estel put on the saddle, and did not so much as wink when Estel tightened the girth. This much he and Estel had practiced, after all, under the careful watch of Estel’s Ada and older brothers and occasionally when they could not be found the Stable Master.
Tallagor went with the young boy happily, as Estel lead him out into the field behind the stables. It was late in the afternoon, and no one was around to see Estel put his one foot in the stirrup, swing up onto Tallagor’s back and then promptly get tossed into the dirt as the young horse gave a few panicked bucks and ran off, kicking up his heels a few more times for good measure.
Estel sat up rather dazedly. The wind had been knocked out of him by his sudden descent. His arm hurt and, looking down, he saw that it was grazed bloody.
Sweat
Elladan, having bandaged and salved his bloody arm, left Estel in the corner of Ada’s study with firm instructions to not move a single step until he was seen to. Estel knew, with unhappy certainty, exactly what his brother meant by beeing ‘seen to’. And, being certain, there was nothing left for him to do but stand obediently with his nose against the dark wood and wait for his fate to come to him.
Outside, he could hear the quiet babble of the brook in Elrond’s private garden, surrounded by the gentle sound of the leaves rustling in the wind. Somewhere, someone was tuning a harp. Muted voices rose and fell in the distance, no doubt coming from the larger garden a few levels down where the kitchen elves were preparing for dinner. The smell of freshly baking breadrolls and sweet vegetables had been wafting through the Last Homely House the entire afternoon.
Despite the cool wind coming in through the door that opened in to the garden, Estel could feel sweat pearling between his shoulder blades and running down his back. He was torn between hoping that Ada would take a long time coming, and hoping that he would walk through the door right that minute. The first because Estel, like any youngling, had no great desire to be seen to by a man with such an uncommonly hard hand as the Lord of Imladris. And the second because Estel could not help but thinking of how frightened Tallagor had looked, and how easy it was for a horse’s legs to get tangled in loose reins and broken in a fall. Elladan had not been able to tell him if the young horse was alright, for he had been the one to bring Estel inside to see to his wounds while Elrohir had gone after the horse. And so, Estel waited anxiously for Elrond to come, so that he could know if all was well with Tallagor.
Tears
It was already dusk and the sweat turning cold between Estel’s shoulder blades, when he heard the heavy wooden door open and the soft footfalls of Ada’s indoor slippers on the carpet. He tensed, drawing himself up straighter to wait for the command to turn around.
It did not come immediately. He heard a chair being moved across the carpet and the quiet creak as his father sat down. Elrond did not say anything, for what seemed quite a long time to Estel. But he could feel the stern look that was aimed at the back of his head and squirmed beneath the weight of it.
Finally, Elrond spoke. “Estel. Come.”
“Yes, Ada,” Estel squawked, whirling around. Elrond struck an impressive figure, still in the dark, rugged clothes he had worn to go hunting and sitting with his arms crossed over his chest. Despite that, Estel hurried over to stand as close to him as he dared, looking up worriedly into his father’s face.
“Ada…Tallagor. Please, is he alright? Did I hurt him?”
“He is not hurt,” Elrond reassured quickly. “A few light scratches from bolting through the underbrush, but that is all. He was badly startled, however, and it will remain to be seen how well his training can progress from here.”
Estel nodded, blinking back tears. “I’m…I’m so relieved that he is not badly hurt. Physically, at least. I’m so sorry, Ada. It is my fault. I should have listened to you.”
“That you should have.” Elrond reached out a hand, taking Estel by the shoulder and drawing him to stand between his knees. He tipped Estel’s face up with a firm hand on his cheek. “You know what you did wrong, then?”
“Yes, Ada.” Estel swallowed. “I disobeyed you and I did something dangerous that could have gotten me or poor Tallagor badly hurt.”
“Indeed,” Elrond said. “Estel, I do not forbid you from doing things because I find joy in frustrating you. For I do understand what it is to be young and eager. I do so only when it is necessary to keep you safe from harm, and to keep others safe also lest you harm them with selfish and thoughtless actions. Others like Tallagor, my love, for your actions were certainly not to his benefit today. I also do not find any joy in spanking you. I must do so now, however, to ensure that you are not tempted to repeat this disobedience.”
Under normal circumstances, Estel might have sought at this point in the proceedings to convince his Ada that he would not be tempted thus even without the spanking. Today, however, he could only think of how scared Tallagor must have felt. It was only right for Estel himself to suffer through a little well-deserved discipline, after what poor Tallagor suffered.
Estel, his tunic having been pulled up and his trousers down, was already sniffling by the time Elrond gently tipped him over his left knee. He put one hand on the floor, curling the other around Elrond’s leg. The rough fabric of Elrond’s hunting breeches were scratchy against his arm, though he doubted that he would be paying much attention to that small discomfort in just a short while.
A hand came to rest on his thigh, and Estel tensed.
“Are you ready to proceed, Estel?”
Estel was not, in fact, ready but he gritted his teeth and nodded. “Yes, Ada.”
He heard the first smack a moment before he felt it. It was sharp, both in sound and in the burn it ignited on his skin. The first was, of course and unfortunately, followed by another and another in prompt succession. They travelled around his poor rear in a depressingly familiar and precise pattern. Ada always followed this pattern, making sure that no inch of Estel’s rear remained unrepentant and unscorched. Much sooner than he would have liked, Estel could no longer quite distinguish where one burning smack ended and the other began. His rear was uniformly ablaze and his face was wet and his fingers were cramping from holding onto Elrond’s ankle so fiercely.
“Ada! I’m sorry!”
“And what are you sorry for, my love?”
Estel had to sob for a moment at the endearment - a stark reminder that while he might be getting punished at this moment it did not mean that Ada did not love him anymore.
“For not listening to you, and for being selfish and for-and for putting Tallagor and myself in danger. I’m sorry! I am sosorry!”
“And all will be forgiven,” Ada said gently.
He did not stop spanking, however. His hand seemed to be coming down with an increased intensity and speed. He shifted his legs somewhat, tipping Estel further towards the floor. Even though he kept his firm and comforting grasp around Estel’s waist so that there was no fear of falling, Estel felt his stomach clench at this movement. He feared that he knew exactly what was to come next.
Indeed, the next spank fell a few inches below the area Elrond’s attentions had been focused on previously. It was right on the most tender part of Estel’s bottom and Elrond showed no signs of lightening the horrible, scorching swats he was raining down in consideration of this.
Estel wailed, wriggling and kicking a few times in an attempt to dissuade Elrond from that particular spot. When this only earned him a few even harder smacks and a stern exhortation to lie still, there was nothing left for him to do but give up. He went limp over Elrond’s lap, sobbing hard.
Elrond landed a few more of those horrible smacks on Estel’s thighs and then, finally, a blessed quiet descended over Lord of Imladris’s study. It was disturbed only by Estel’s heartfelt weeping.
Estel found himself righted on his father’s lap and tugged into his broad chest in a strong hug.
Ada had the smell of woodland on him still, after the day of hunting. His hair, drawn back from his forehead in a practical warrior’s braid, brushed against Estel’s wet cheek. Estel stuck his face into the crook of Ada’s neck and sobbed out all the leftover pain and fear and guilt that still lingered after the long day.
“I’m sorry, Ada. I’m so sorry. I never meant for Tallagor to get hurt.”
“I know you did not,” Elrond said soothingly. “You are forgiven now, my son. You have paid your dues, and all will be well.”
Finally, some time later, Estel found that he had quieted, leaning spent and tired against Elrond’s chest and toying idly with the hooks and buttons on one of his father’s sleeves.
“I have something else to tell you,” Elrond said.
Estel looked up into his face, surprised to find that Elrond was looking down at him with rather a lot of warmth and pride.
“Yes, Ada?”
“When I first learned, upon my return this evening, of what you had done, I was angry. I intended to tell you that you would no longer be allowed to help with the training of Tallagor, and mayhap not any other young horse for at least a few more years. Nay, do not look so crestfallen, my son. I have changed my mind. You have changed my mind. I was so very pleasantly surprised when I entered this room to find that your first concern in speaking to me was Tallagor and not yourself. You did not try to diminish your fault or plead for mercy and leniency like you are wont to do. Instead, you took your discipline with maturity and a clear sense of responsibility for your actions. This showed me that you have learned what you needed to from the events of this unfortunate day, and that further correction is not necessary. I am proud of you, Estel.”
Estel swallowed hard, blinking back renewed tears. “I…thank you, Ada. I will do my best.”
Elrond smiled down at him, running a gentle hand over his hair. “I have no doubt that you will, my love. I have no doubt that you will.”