Chapter Text
If you recognize it from somewhere else, I don’t own it. I do this for fun. If you are offended by anything in this story let me know so I can offend others with it and laugh. JKR probably owns the recognizable pieces. Enjoy!
Chapter One
Harry walked into the house he and Ginny were living in while they were still just planning for children. He would have loved to have some right away but they came to an agreement. She would have a starting position for one year and he would be a full auror for one year. Then they would talk about timing the birth so she wouldn’t lose out on her position. It took three years for it to fall into place but he was now a full auror with his boss hinting that he’d be getting a trainee to show the ropes to in about six months. Ginny was beginning her second year of being a starting chaser for the Holyhead Harpies.
He looked for Ginny in the den and the kitchen but wasn’t able to find her. Considering he was home a few hours early from his night shift He figured he would head up to the bedroom. He avoided the creaky stair three down from the top so he wouldn’t wake her up till he slipped into bed.
As he came to the door to the master bedroom he realized it was quiet. Too quiet. There was no ambient sounds coming from the room. The magical fan in the window to keep the room cool wasn’t there. The low static hiss of the wizarding wireless turned low for white noise to allow Ginny to sleep. Nothing was coming through.
‘Silencing charm.’
Touching his wand to the wall next to the door he quietly cast an auror level charm, “Magnus Auditus.” Placing his ear to the handle he could hear what was going on on the other side of the wall.
“...gana, right there! Glad I finally found someone who will do this for me! Harry refuses.”
Harry began to feel sick to his stomach as he listened to the flesh on flesh slapping of rough sex. However anger was beginning to rear its head until the last voice he was expecting came through.
“Believe me Ginny I know how that goes. It’s the reason I dumped Ron. I swear he would last about two minutes, ask if it was good for me, roll over, and fall asleep.”
“Less about my brother, more fucking my arse.”
Harry listened as the sound grew harder and faster. As did the huffs of hard breathing and grunts of effort.
“Gladly. How did you get Harry to model himself for this Witches Friend stick on? It feels so good.”
“Easy I told him I wanted a toy to travel...Merlin! T-t-that’s perfect! Keep that pace… t-t-travel with s-so I won’t miss him so much. Almost there!”
Harry’s eyes were practically falling out of his head. Hermione was using the toy his wife took with her on road trips on his wife’s arse. And it was a magical stick on? He hadn’t realized that when she took him to Lilith’s to have it made for her. What else didn’t he know about?
“Quick reach around and pinch my nipples hard!” Ginny called loudly.
The scream of ecstasy that he heard next was loud enough he was surprised it didn’t shatter the silencing charm.
“Galloping gorgans that was great.” Ginny panted. “I am so glad you listened to me when I talked to you about the diary.”
“I’m glad you are willing to help me out too. Lets face it I like pleasure with my pain, but mostly when I am in control. How many dominant masochists are there? How is it that you have talked to Harry about the diary but he doesn’t know how you like some pain and roughness during sex. Merlin I have had fantasies about him doming me since he took out that stupid troll.”
“He likes being in control, but because of how he was treated when he was growing up he wants to treat his partners gently. The few times he let himself go and rail into me I loved it.
“Up or down this time?”
“Up. When did he let fly into you?”
“It was close to Halloween. He had arrested some drunk idiot who asked him if he remembered when his mother ‘snuffed it’”
“Oh shite.”
“Yeah he came home simmering just mad enough to be mad but didn’t really show it. You know how he can be. Bottle it up till it goes away or blows the lid off.”
“Oh yes! When he gets that dangerous look in his eyes. There were a few times I had to go and change my knickers just at the thought of what he could do to me if I shagged him in that mood.”
Harry heard Ginny cast Reteni four times.
“Oh that’s nice. So what happened?” Hermione sounded a bit breathless
“Well I kind of pushed him to shag me. He was going slow and easy like always. Suddenly I get inspired and I remembered how he’d get pissed about Malfoy calling him ‘Potter’ all the time. So I put the slightest sneer in my voice and said ‘come on harder Potter’. I don’t think he even realized what I did, but soon he was ramming full strokes into me. I came moaning like a Banshee. He blasted off bellowing like a Minotaur. Honestly it was great.”
“So what happened afterwards?”
“We both collapsed, snuggled up, and went to sleep. The next day he apologized and said he hoped he didn’t hurt me.”
“After Diary-Tom showed you what he did to some of his first ‘conquests’? Haven’t you tried to explain?”
“Hermione, every time I bring up that it was the diary that got me fist started thinking about it he just hugs me and tells me it doesn’t matter. That it doesn’t control me any more. He won’t even finish listening to what I say.
“Stingy or thumpy?”
“Thumpy. I have a deposition to take in Rome at the beginning of next week. I plan on going early so I can hit the beach. Bruises I can’t see to conceal wouldn’t be good.”
“OK, time for a warm up.”
Harry listened to the sound of something heavy swishing through the air and hitting flesh. It was steady and painful sounding. The sounds coming from Hermione sounded like she was enjoying it.
*THWAP* … *THWAP*… *THWAP*
“Even out the hits, Gin.”
*Thwap*… *Thwap*
“I said even them out not lighter.”
“Sorry.”
*THWAP*… *THWAP* … *THWAP!*
“OH!”
“Too hard?”
“Mmmm, Not at all. Circe’s tits this is so relaxing.”
*THWAP!*… *THWAP!*
“So who do you think might like to do this for you long term?”
*THWAP!*… *THWAP!*… *THWAP!*
“Lord and Lady that’s nice! I can’t think of any one … across the tits … that I trust enough to do this… OH! Circe! … except Harry, but he’s hopelessly devoted to you. A couple of good hits between the thighs Gin!”
Hermione said the last bit loudly as she sounded like she was close to exploding.
“You…,” *THWAP!* “Asked…,” *THWAP!* “For it…” *THWAP!!*
“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
“Hermione? Since when are you a squirter?”
“I think … since I … was” Harry heard her swallow hard “picturing Harry s… swinging that flogger. I think I’m coming down, could you…”
“Oh sure just a second. Liberigo Maxima.”
Harry heard the bed move with shifting weight and a sigh from both of the women.
“Gin, you know what I think would make this perfect?”
“Harry holding us both while we are holding each other?”
“Yes. Do you think we could convince him to at least try?”
“We might have to tie him up and silence him before he listens to us all the way through.”
Harry shivered at the thought of being tied up, but he couldn’t really figure out if it was fear or something else.
‘I’ll consider that later.’ he thought focusing back on the ladies.
“I wonder if he’d be willing to take me as a magical mistress? Or even a second wife?”
Harry almost fell to the floor in surprise.
“That’s Illegal!” Ginny gasped.
“Not for long. There is a bill going through the Wizengamot to force all of age males to marry and have at least two children. The first by age thirty.”
“But what about gay men? Or women?”
“Basically you can opt out if you make a statement that your chosen lifestyle precludes the possibility of children. There are also mundane ways to father children without intercourse I suppose it might work with female witches that are lesbians and want children. Either way it would be something to think about.”
“So how would that work to get you as a second wife to Harry?”
“Right. Part of the law states that the Head of a house must have ‘enough spouses and/or consorts to ensure the continuation of the House line’.
“So?”
“So how many Houses does Harry have Lordship over?”
“Potter and Black.”
“Could he also claim Peverell? And Gryffindor? How many others have been subsumed into the Potter and Black families?”
“I don’t know. I wonder if there is a test in Gringotts that could show all titles someone is entitled to claim?”
Harry heard Hermione start to laugh.
“Maybe we should all take the test and find out. Lets get a shower. I’ll have to be gone before Harry comes home or we’d have a lot of explaining to do.”
Harry listened as the women got off the bed and walked into the en-suite bathroom.
Canceling the listening charm he turned around and made his way down the steps. He was looking around the house not really seeing it but taking it in.
Taking his favorite chair he moved it to a point between the door and the bottom of the stairs, where it wouldn’t be seen till someone turned the corner towards the door. He sat down and waited for a few minutes. He got another idea.
“Bitsy come quietly.”
With a quiet pop a house-elf appeared next to his chair.
“What can Bitsy be doing for Lord Potter?”
“I’d like you to make a Full English for three people. Skip the mushrooms on one plate, Hermione doesn’t care for them. Can you have it ready in about 15 minutes?”
“Bitsy can master.”
“Thank-you Bitsy.”
The elf popped into the kitchen and started to make breakfast. Harry cast a charm to keep the scent of cooking in the kitchen so no-one would be aware of it. Harry leaned back in his chair and read a book while he was waiting.
Twelve minutes later he set his book to the side when he heard the creaky stair go off. He crossed his feet in front of him and steepled his fingers in front of his chest. He looked utterly relaxed.
“Let me know when... eep!”
Harry smiled at Hermione’s wide eyed face as he watched it drain of color. Ginny started to step around the frozen woman.
“What’s the matter Hemi...uh!”
Harry watched as the two women stood frozen in the doorway between the bottom of the stairs and the rest of the house. His wife and best friend wore matching expressions of fear. Both of them were also scared at the thought of what was going to happen next.
“Good morning ladies. Why don’t we eat in the kitchen. It seems we all have a lot of explaining to do. I’ll do my best to listen all the way through this time."
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